I was just wandering past, saw the lights on and thought I would pop in :)
I haven't been here for a while as I have been focusing elsewhere, but I hate to see all the old disagreements and infighting happening again.
If you feel that you have been treated unfairly you are going to feel hurt, perhaps angry and certainly feeling the need to defend yourself. Forums like these are amongst the hardest places to settle an argument or disagreement. You can't control what is going to happen or what is going to be posted by the hundreds of contributors. My advice is when you feel you are being attacked to take a deep breath and move on to the next topic. This is the quickest way to end an argument here.
If something is posted that you feel you must respond to, try and take a conciliatory approach. Dont attack, dont flame, dont add fuel to the fire. Show that you respect the other person's point of view and try to point out where you agree, and also that where you disagree.
Remember that everyone is here to heal- no-one can heal in a "toxic" environment. Try and add to the healing environment with every post. Some forums achieve this believe it or not.. no fighting at all just addicts supporting other addicts.
Attacks and defensive behaviours can solve immediate problems, but they always sow the seeds for future disagreements.
I wish you all the very best and hope you will forgive my intrusion
much love
Sean
Sean,
Very nice to e-see you again, your wisdom has been missed around here. It has not been like this lately, I think it is just bad timing.. A thread has not been locked for weeks, just started yesterday.
Again, I hope you are well.
Regards,
Tom
Very nice to e-see you again, your wisdom has been missed around here. It has not been like this lately, I think it is just bad timing.. A thread has not been locked for weeks, just started yesterday.
Again, I hope you are well.
Regards,
Tom
It would be wonderful if everyone would heed your advice, Sean. You came across perfectly. Well said. All my best to you.
Love,
Marie
Love,
Marie
Hi Sean.
Nice to see ya' and good post. I hope your doing well these days and I hope yout family is well too. Talk to ya' soon.
Take care............Bob
Nice to see ya' and good post. I hope your doing well these days and I hope yout family is well too. Talk to ya' soon.
Take care............Bob
Hi Sean!! Good to see you. That was a really good post. So very true. Hope all is well with you and your family.
take care
gina :)
take care
gina :)
Nice to see ya Sean x
and again yep you are talking perfect sense as always, but it so very hard but I refuse to give into anger anymore/frustration, like you say it is'nt helping anyone
I hope you will pop on more often, you are missed x
love
Gabbs
and again yep you are talking perfect sense as always, but it so very hard but I refuse to give into anger anymore/frustration, like you say it is'nt helping anyone
I hope you will pop on more often, you are missed x
love
Gabbs
No intrusion Silent Partner:
In fact, I personally appreciate your point of few on this matter. I also am one to take the high road because to play into it makes one no better than the person's creating the problem.
Thank you for your insight and hey, come see us more often!
How are you these days?
In fact, I personally appreciate your point of few on this matter. I also am one to take the high road because to play into it makes one no better than the person's creating the problem.
Thank you for your insight and hey, come see us more often!
How are you these days?
bumped up for Dottie
Glad you popped in! Great post!
Love,
Susan
Love,
Susan
Hi Sean...nice to see you again. Still waiting on those pics that Gina asked you for..but since you are always so informative, I will let that slip....;0)
anyway, I totally missed all of the newest argument, but I jsut wanted to add that people are usually fighting for their lives by the time they reach here...so let's not forget that...we are all dealing with a deadly powerful disease, and our feelings are usually pretty raw...
Let's allplay nicely....
Kerry
anyway, I totally missed all of the newest argument, but I jsut wanted to add that people are usually fighting for their lives by the time they reach here...so let's not forget that...we are all dealing with a deadly powerful disease, and our feelings are usually pretty raw...
Let's allplay nicely....
Kerry
Sean..I love that name..thanks for the input...you also have agreat sense of humor(re:pic thread) Hope you are doing well...have a good one. S.
Kerry!
Lox saved that pic of Sean onto her computer. I think cynical one did, too. You'll have to apply to them for copies.
Sean,
See, I told you the talk hadn't died down yet. But I can't think about that photo and talk sensibly to you. Excuse me, I have to go to the kitchen and bite down hard on a rubber spatula...
Cheers,
Gina
Lox saved that pic of Sean onto her computer. I think cynical one did, too. You'll have to apply to them for copies.
Sean,
See, I told you the talk hadn't died down yet. But I can't think about that photo and talk sensibly to you. Excuse me, I have to go to the kitchen and bite down hard on a rubber spatula...
Cheers,
Gina
Nice photo(open the window plz) HOT
Sean wrote:
Some forums achieve this believe it or not.. no fighting at all just addicts supporting other addicts.
I'd sure like to find one of those forums. Can you post a link? Don't worry, the bar room brawlers won't read this thread anyway.
Some forums achieve this believe it or not.. no fighting at all just addicts supporting other addicts.
I'd sure like to find one of those forums. Can you post a link? Don't worry, the bar room brawlers won't read this thread anyway.
Your message makes perfect sense, especially with the way acted, I have apologised andmoved on and I am on my 4th day clean, and seeing things alot differently. x
Hey Pat i belong to such a site so no seans not dreaming lol jackie xxxxxxxxxx
And at the end of it all we are doing each other favours, taking our anger out on each other rather than people close by. It's a safe zone to get rid of the negative feelings that come with stopping. I don't know, I know it's not ok to do it, I have done it and I regret it, but I can honestly say that at the time it helped me in some bizarre way, and the outcome also helped me.
I really am not saying it is acceptable, I do believe that if you do have arguements or disagreements, it is wrong and should be avoided, but when it does happen I can see that in a way it does help. To be able to look back and see how you reacted and what you reacted to. And learn from it. It's hard to remember all the details and mistakes of a face to face argument, we seem to remember what we want to rember. On this basis I think it does have a learning advantage involved.
Please don't think I am saying it's right, it's just my opinion. It would be lovely for everyone to be friends and not take anything out on anyone or react in the wrong way, but it has helped me. This doesn't mean I would want it to happen again, I do like to get on with people and agree and hate arguements, they prey on my mind. And most of the time ( I want it to be all of the time soon) I sort things out without arguing. I am trying to think of all excuses for my reasons for thinking this. I may be totally wrong, and it may be that it's just me that it hasn't done any harm to and helped a little, I suppose there are occasions when a little dissagreement is needed.
Wow I do go on a bit..
I really am not saying it is acceptable, I do believe that if you do have arguements or disagreements, it is wrong and should be avoided, but when it does happen I can see that in a way it does help. To be able to look back and see how you reacted and what you reacted to. And learn from it. It's hard to remember all the details and mistakes of a face to face argument, we seem to remember what we want to rember. On this basis I think it does have a learning advantage involved.
Please don't think I am saying it's right, it's just my opinion. It would be lovely for everyone to be friends and not take anything out on anyone or react in the wrong way, but it has helped me. This doesn't mean I would want it to happen again, I do like to get on with people and agree and hate arguements, they prey on my mind. And most of the time ( I want it to be all of the time soon) I sort things out without arguing. I am trying to think of all excuses for my reasons for thinking this. I may be totally wrong, and it may be that it's just me that it hasn't done any harm to and helped a little, I suppose there are occasions when a little dissagreement is needed.
Wow I do go on a bit..
bumped up
Interesting to note all the names NOT here anymore. Wonder why. Could some of you who say there are sites without the stupidity please post them. (Unless you want to keep this crowd out and I wouldnt blame you)
TOM, I hope you are doing well ......... Maybe well see you here soon. Some of us do appreciate your posts.
TOM, I hope you are doing well ......... Maybe well see you here soon. Some of us do appreciate your posts.
Nice Post
