See some new people on here. Hey y'all. Hope things are going as best as can be expected. Anyways, Bryn resident weirdo here. Haven't been on in awhile.
Heroin addict extrodinaire with two years and two months clean.
Sooooo, my apologies, and sympathy to any parent or loved one of an addict reads this, but I gotta tell the truth. Ya see this dope out here? I'm like one foot away from trying to cop. The lure of an OD looks good. I'm a pity party of course, but this BS man it's getting worse.
Teenager. Emotional crap. I know they all do, but this is now into a girl lying rolled up in a ball after a date crying in pain "Mom, mom what is wrong with me?" Also had been honest telling me she slept with the last boyfriend her first. Smart girl usually. Thank heavens had all bases covered, but we know how it goes. Dude got it, and the chase, the thrill of it is over. Kids 18 for heaven sake.
He did tell her cares about which is obvious, but her morose, depression got him down.
She is so clingy, and needy with people. Always been a loner. Well, since my dad died in front of her suddenly when she was ten. Meanwhile her mom is a junkie who'd been in a horrific car crash. I literally was in two casts for broken femur, and a broken knee cap, and my poor dad was carrying me the day before Christmas to family court, and the WORST my little girl had to go. My ex knew nada about my addiction it was more of a splitting her up thing.
Anyways, kids been through it. She's bright, very pretty, and humorous. She can be condescending. She has not one friend. Well she started working, and got a lil' social life going on. Proms and all, and falls in "love" with this boy. What's he do? breaks up with her. Fine, but NOT. I truly believe it has to do with the most important and beloved person dying while he put decals on her toy Christmas morning,. She saw you can die immediately like that. Had some bad fainting/shock spells after that. Been doing fine though and yes I had her in counseling. She LOVED it. BUT the therapist moved, and with school and work, and no car here it was tough to get in to see him.
Enter me. Clean. Anger problems. I mean I see white. Not red, and then can't stop. It's mostly directed at my mom. Had a family meeting, and my brothers came and it was then she pulled out her stops, mommy. You don't get over on her. My brothers kind of outright said "You're a control freak". Sje is, and was. Well, since my daughter has been so emotional, and I mean BAD. I even took her to an emergency psych place, and the sight of grown men getting their belts, and shoelaces taken. Well, it scared me and her. I was afraid they might keep her, and of course DRUG her. Hate them psych drugs.
So, finally now she's getting over these two boys when I see today her writing to the one. She's been calling both. Of course they don't call back. Now I got a morose I want to be dead kid on my hands. My mom hits the libriums, and says "I am out of it". Well, finally. Although she isn't. We LIVE together.
So I call the ex, and he's been supportive. The thing is since she was one and a half my parents helped me raise her. We did not split her up into two homes, two sets of rules etc. I got issues with something happened to me as a kid, and didn't trust ex's dad although in honesty I don't think he would hurt her. Just I didn't like he gave the kids baths. Just baths. My dad did virtually all the work, and took care of my daughter, but would never dream of bathing her or changing her or anything. It freaked me out a little so i asked for him my ex to visit here.
So it went until the Christmas Eve caper in Family Court. All due to a new girlfriend of his. Demanded he get part time custody. I nipped that quick when i told her to mind her business, and what her child was doing. We ain't the Brady Bunch. Frig with my kid or mom, and I WILL get you. This chick was a control freak herself. I got ahold of who her ex was and asked if he was aware my ex was sleeping in HIS house he was paying mortgage on with his son there. NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! No clue, and the little boy was made to lie. Chick got my point, and left it alone.
So now I need my ex here. I do. This BS teen stuff I just don't know if it's just normal or what? Do they all do this crap of anxt and saddness, and depression? Kid don't smoke or drink or do drugs. Excellent marks. I mean top of her class, and extremely creative.
She has not been over to my ex's family since she was a baby. They more or less out front said "Look we don't watch any kids" and I knew my ex needed help with a baby. My dad carried cribs, pushed prams, drove and sat through three dance classes a week, Vocal lessons, and theater stuff.
NOW my daughter is at an age she can protect herself, and vocalize what happens to her. She has a right to make her own decisions. Still didn't want to see my ex's family. Well, my mom was all like "If she wants to go there than fine, but that family didn't do s**t for her. Daddy did it all, and paid for evrything. Which is true.
So's I come home while my daughter stays there a bit with my ex and his family. I mention to my mom a neighbor had said my daughter gave her a rolling of the eyes look when she asked her a question. Neighbor who is also a friend of my mom's says "Oh, she's sixteen. Remember when my neice was like that?" I nodded. My daughter had that puss on her. My mom FLIPPED when I mentioned this. Itactually made me feel better when the neighbor said this. My mom says "You should have said it's NONE of your F**king business."
Now I'm the first person to say that if someone is out of line or newsy. This was completely innocent. This, people if ya read that far is when I go NUTS. I was screaming "You go tell her. You ALWAYS do this. You go on, and on, and on about a person bothering you, and then I finally go off, and go ballistic on them.
Psych told me this is her making the snowballs, and me throwing them. So I was breaking stuff. I ripped a table apart. Tore legs off it, and was screaming at her "YOU go tell her. You won't. You never do". Just always disses people, and finally I go off on em, and she gets mad and says I ain't ladylike. I shouldn't fight. I need to calm down. I should hold my ace. I am impulsive. Fine.
NOW. Just NOW my daughter comes in with the ex. New kid. They do get over stuff quick while we worry sick. My mom is zonked on the couch. My daughter says "My dad's mom is a riot." Which she is. Nice lady too.
At this and I had the feeling my mom jumps up. She heard her. Now I KNOW my mom, and my daughter needs to learn what not to say in front of her asleep or not. I mean all i cared about wa she came home in a better frame of mind.
12:ooAM it is and my mom real calm asks where her keys are. gets shoes on.
We ask "Where are you going at this hour?" We live in Philly and it's dangerous. She real calm says "I'm taking a walk".
Now I got the kid who is all upset. Wishing she didn't say anything about ex's mother. I got an elderly mom out walking in Philly at this hour, and me I got nothing nada. If anything all I now want is a bag of dope. Just one bag to make this all go away.
Sorry, this is so long winded. I had to vent. I can't do this anymore. Between the two of them. I am losing it. Each crisis I am closer to using. What the hell?
Now e got to worry where she is. Also walk on eggshells because she had that real calm look that I knew meant "You little piece of s*it. All we did for you and raised you, and help with your problems daily. They got off Scott free, and this is how you repay me, and your poor grandfather all he did for you. NOW they get the good, and easy part".
Just making me sick. I am sick. Sick of it all. BS sick.
Brynn,oi oi,sorry to hear things are all over the place with you&yer daughter.Ihave a 7 yr old girl,my ex f***ed off when she was 2yrs for a life of crack&smack[clean now].So me&my ma brought my lil girl up,im clean now ,just 7wk,but even when working f/t&being an addict we still did good btwn us.now over the last 2yrs my ex wanted to see her girl[Sian]so i think o.k might be good ,in the long run for this to happen for them both.it aint turned out good,i still have to pay for&organize my kids day to day stuff,while her selish b**** of a mum throws her to bits in.when i have my kid i dont ring or bother my ex. if we have any probs,but you can gaurentee if my ex has her for a clpe. of days shel ring up with bulls*** just to wreck my head&by christ it angers me&makes me want to use.Ok Sian isnt at the teenage yrs yet but i do dread the future sometimes,but the only thing keeping me goin is my lil Sian.Sorry Brynn that i cant give you much advice,your better than me at that..lol...but i do understand your situation with yer family life,coz sometimes mine is similar...anyway off to work...Brynn girl all the very best ..Davey
Kids are HARD work. I have a 8 AND 10 year old "one on the way". Family can make it all more stressful, more so when YOUR family is the only family taking responsibility for the kid. Emotions are high everyone trys to control the situation it's a real mess. My daughter has a dead beat sh*t head for a father. we split nearly 3 years ago. He has never sent a card, gift or child support or saw him since. His family has no contact with us either. I would be a bit upset if years down the road he tries to play good daddy after not doing ANYTHING for so long. Stress has always triggered me to want to use or drink. I hate CONFLICT. I also hate trying to please everyone. I always seek a way to avoid unhappiness. You seem very stressed. Try letting go for a while and doing something only 4 YOU. You can never will never be able to change or fix anyone else. You can the be the best to yourself you can fix how things effect you. I just back back from a 4 day trip to the mountians with my boyfriend "no kids". I feel so much better. Even if you can just take a day trip go do something go somewhere no stress no time limits no BS the good feelings will be better then a bag of dope you won't be broke or sick afterwords or hurting yourself.
I have a daughter like that too, Bryn. When her boyfriend broke up with her (she was nearly 16, he 18), she threatened suicide, stopped eating. You know the drill, I'm sure. Lots of prayer helped as well as letting her ramble, complain, whatever. People suggested counseling but she was actually too depressed at the time to go.
Finally, after a few months, she managed to lure the boyfriend back by sheer osmosis, it seemed, and now they are a "couple" again, her having the upper hand in the relationship. Not that I am exactly pleased by this arrangment. It would surely be better if she had become less needy and reliant on the boyfriend.
In the meantime, though, she has learned to tap into some of her resources, including working on a recording and taking singing lessons.
It's interesting how many kids like this harbor amazing talent that is just waiting to emerge. Is your daughter artistic/creative? I'm guessing she is.
Finally, after a few months, she managed to lure the boyfriend back by sheer osmosis, it seemed, and now they are a "couple" again, her having the upper hand in the relationship. Not that I am exactly pleased by this arrangment. It would surely be better if she had become less needy and reliant on the boyfriend.
In the meantime, though, she has learned to tap into some of her resources, including working on a recording and taking singing lessons.
It's interesting how many kids like this harbor amazing talent that is just waiting to emerge. Is your daughter artistic/creative? I'm guessing she is.
Hi honey..........ok want to get out of the house??..........just get away from all the bull for a little bit? we can take gracie to the park, go take a walk, get some ice-cream?, I'll buy ya someting to cheer ya up....ANYTHING you want..........call me, i tried to call but u were online. I will be here all day, have off today.........I LOVE u.........and whatever you do, DONT use cos it will only make everything worse and only let u escape for a little bit anyways.........at least when we r not using we have hope that things will get better...if we use we give away that hope. Please call me
Hi Bryn
Sorry you are going through this crap.
I too have been having trouble with my eldest son who is 19 going on 49.
Talking down at me calling ME manipulative, and basically a liar.
He was saying he did not think it was right him having to travel all the way down to essex to meet his girl then come back, him pouring his heart out to me i agreed with him.
Mean while he should of paid the lekky money in for me and go to the barbers.
I did not see him till the next morning he came home alright with his girl. late i was in bed sleeping
& am in the morning big shouting match me and him,
shouting that he did say he was going to essex that i got it wrong and all the rest of it.
You see he is still got in his head that he can get away with manipulating me like when i use to use,
I put foot fimly down and told him this, he walked back down stairs to his room.
He came up a little while after no appology and acted as if nothing had happened, not even a appology.
Kids a cant live with them cant live without them.
Thinking of ya Bryn
Em x
Sorry you are going through this crap.
I too have been having trouble with my eldest son who is 19 going on 49.
Talking down at me calling ME manipulative, and basically a liar.
He was saying he did not think it was right him having to travel all the way down to essex to meet his girl then come back, him pouring his heart out to me i agreed with him.
Mean while he should of paid the lekky money in for me and go to the barbers.
I did not see him till the next morning he came home alright with his girl. late i was in bed sleeping
& am in the morning big shouting match me and him,
shouting that he did say he was going to essex that i got it wrong and all the rest of it.
You see he is still got in his head that he can get away with manipulating me like when i use to use,
I put foot fimly down and told him this, he walked back down stairs to his room.
He came up a little while after no appology and acted as if nothing had happened, not even a appology.
Kids a cant live with them cant live without them.
Thinking of ya Bryn
Em x
