After talking with someone on here a thought came to me.
Now this may sound silly to some but I think your answers may help me in this journey of mine.I am totally scared to even start going to meetings.but the longer I am here & the more I read I get to thinking that maybe it is something I could look into for my recovery.
So what Im going to ask is for some of you who have been in recovery and for you just staring.Could you please share some memories.Like do you remember your first group meeting.What it was like for you What made you deside to go.If I can get some feedback on this I will be very thankful.....mj
hi molly, i remember well my first meeting almost 90 days ago. i had to wait about a week so my wds would subside. i remeber thinking wow i have not used a needle or done heroin, and i recall a oldtimer telling me i was in the right place and to keep coming back. i then purchased a basic text and was amazed to find personal stories about pills right there. i began to attend almost daily not sharing much just listening and within a week i optained a sponser and began working the steps. i do recall last year totally resisting any talk of 12 step programs, not for me i said, however as i work the steps i feel like i have a new lease on life. i remember several years ago going to aa and not drinking for a long period of time however i never got a sponser and never worked the steps, and here i am today. i cant tell you exactly how the program works as far as staying clean, but all i know is that i dont have to use and if i dont pick just for today, then recovery is possible. i have had alot of clean time in my life but never recovery and that is what i found in the na meeting rooms.
take care
carol
take care
carol
molly,
i came on line and found an online forum based on 12 steps, i was detoxing at home through a dr's care, i read and read all these posts and all the people with clean time preached meetings and thats what has kept them clean and sober for long time. so i mustered up strength will an courage and god to hit a meeting. my plan was 90 and 90 (i would have eaten crap if thats what they told me to do so stay clean cause i wanted what they had that bad) well i got to close to 30th meeting and it went severly sour so i never made it back to one since. i dont blame n/a my situation was unique and isolated. n/a saves lives. i did my very best to do what was suggested buy the elders. i still do whenever i read something great here on the board. or from what and i share with my councelor about. the thing is you have to really want it in you more then anything else. you are worth it and your kids are worth having thier mommy an even awesomer one : )
terrianne
i came on line and found an online forum based on 12 steps, i was detoxing at home through a dr's care, i read and read all these posts and all the people with clean time preached meetings and thats what has kept them clean and sober for long time. so i mustered up strength will an courage and god to hit a meeting. my plan was 90 and 90 (i would have eaten crap if thats what they told me to do so stay clean cause i wanted what they had that bad) well i got to close to 30th meeting and it went severly sour so i never made it back to one since. i dont blame n/a my situation was unique and isolated. n/a saves lives. i did my very best to do what was suggested buy the elders. i still do whenever i read something great here on the board. or from what and i share with my councelor about. the thing is you have to really want it in you more then anything else. you are worth it and your kids are worth having thier mommy an even awesomer one : )
terrianne
Molly,
I'm on day 3 of detox (subutex) from 20+ norcos a day. I've been to 4 meetings in the past 4 days - 2 AA, a PA, and an NA. I was scared s***less to go, and while that fear hasn't completely subsided, each one feels a lot less anxious. And the meetings are amazing. Take a read through this article - what to expect at your first meeting - http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/meet...a/aa040208a.htm
Take a read through it - it's a pretty accurate description.
Let us know what you think. This board and the meetings have been a huge source of strength and support for me, and for the first time I feel like there's hope. Not just hope that I can live pill-free, but hope that I can achieve true inner peace with myself and overcome the root problems that led to my addiction in the first place.
I'm on day 3 of detox (subutex) from 20+ norcos a day. I've been to 4 meetings in the past 4 days - 2 AA, a PA, and an NA. I was scared s***less to go, and while that fear hasn't completely subsided, each one feels a lot less anxious. And the meetings are amazing. Take a read through this article - what to expect at your first meeting - http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/meet...a/aa040208a.htm
Take a read through it - it's a pretty accurate description.
Let us know what you think. This board and the meetings have been a huge source of strength and support for me, and for the first time I feel like there's hope. Not just hope that I can live pill-free, but hope that I can achieve true inner peace with myself and overcome the root problems that led to my addiction in the first place.
Thank you all so far.I know being a friday night alot of people may be on,and I really need to hear these stories.I see sammy & alot of other talk about steps,faith etc & I just feel I need to see what people have been through 7 how it helped them.Thanks to all who take the time...mj
Hi Molly
Meetings were not for me......great for some but ended with my head being screwed, tread carefully but have an open mind, NA/AA saves lifes but leaves others(me) confused wanting to know the real God not a "god" modelled to suit the individuals mind. God can not (in my head) be who I want him to be......there must be some objective truth....or at least subjective feeling that what is aimed for is palpable. I went to meetings but walked much further and found reality (for me) meeting gave me more questions than answers. I do know the difference between spirituality and religion and "meetings" to me seemed closer to religion. I prefer spirituality not living life guided by a false Bible.
Anyhow.......hope I have not stired the pot.....just added my genuine thoughts....off on holiday in a few hours hope you are all well
Praise God
Paul
Meetings were not for me......great for some but ended with my head being screwed, tread carefully but have an open mind, NA/AA saves lifes but leaves others(me) confused wanting to know the real God not a "god" modelled to suit the individuals mind. God can not (in my head) be who I want him to be......there must be some objective truth....or at least subjective feeling that what is aimed for is palpable. I went to meetings but walked much further and found reality (for me) meeting gave me more questions than answers. I do know the difference between spirituality and religion and "meetings" to me seemed closer to religion. I prefer spirituality not living life guided by a false Bible.
Anyhow.......hope I have not stired the pot.....just added my genuine thoughts....off on holiday in a few hours hope you are all well
Praise God
Paul
MollyJean, I hear ya girl...your a mother. Are you going to tell them where mommie is going? do you lie? Do you want that info in their head? How old are they? If I told my daughter (10) she would march right in school tell the principal, friends and all teachers she knows what is going on. . I guess I .FEEL right now, I started it, i will stop it because i want to. If I relapse, maybe I woudl consider sub...inpatient treatment or NA. Looking at those options, makes me not want to relapse. plain and simple. Im single and it WOULD BE HARD TO SWING.
Hi..I never went to a meeting though I have been clean for 35 days or so. I havent gone to a meeting as I dont have a sitter and no, I wont tell my son (age 7) where I was going. I wouldnt even tell a child that is 12. I dont think it is their business and it would be confusing and possibly scary to them.
If you do get to go, you can say mommy is going out with friends and after all..that wont be a lie. I think adult stuff should remain with adults. Too bad you arent in NY..I'd go with you!
If you do get to go, you can say mommy is going out with friends and after all..that wont be a lie. I think adult stuff should remain with adults. Too bad you arent in NY..I'd go with you!
Hi everyone, I'm new. Just wanted to say that I am scared out of my mind about meetings too. I have had some close friends in recovery come down really hard on me for not going to meetings but so far its only made me withdraw, not brave it out. I too feel silly about making such a big deal but I really get a panic attack just thinking about meetings. WHat do you tell your kids? This is a hard step to take. Its helping so much to hear that people do make it sober, with and without meetings. You just have to find they way thats best for you and so far one minute at a time is how its going for me. I'm just tryin to stick with it and I want you all to know your words help so much. Thanks for that!
Lioness
Lioness
LOLIVERNY, I WOULD GO WITH YOU SIS TOO.!! MY DAUGHTER IS SO DANG Smart she would be like "WHY EVERY TUESDAy" "how come just an hour?" do you eat food?" What do you talk about? do you have a boyfriend? your dating arent you? Seriously. She is like a little barbara walters.
And yes, it irritates me because she is so intuitive.
Just this morning, "viagra" may cause blindness...Im on HBP meds, she runs to my pill box and looks for blue ones...then I get< what are they for? i GAVE HER THE OLD "BLOOD FLOW" FOR MENS HEARTS, SAID IT MAKES THEIR HEARTS BETTER..
Away, man every night or 3 times a week, she would choke me out until she heard. Also, my son. 21 OMG, he would know RIGHT AWAY!!
And yes, it irritates me because she is so intuitive.
Just this morning, "viagra" may cause blindness...Im on HBP meds, she runs to my pill box and looks for blue ones...then I get< what are they for? i GAVE HER THE OLD "BLOOD FLOW" FOR MENS HEARTS, SAID IT MAKES THEIR HEARTS BETTER..
Away, man every night or 3 times a week, she would choke me out until she heard. Also, my son. 21 OMG, he would know RIGHT AWAY!!
Molly,
As you probably know, I've only been to two meetings. I was very nervous before the first one and it helped that I went with a friend to a very small group. They went out of their way to welcome me and put no pressure on me at all, either to speak (which I did, and at length, lol) or to keep coming, beyond a heartfelt, "Hope to see you here again."
I told my children I was going to see some friends. When I break it to them about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, I'll tell them about AA, too. (I'm not kidding, they still believe.)
To be honest, while the meetings each provided me with a couple of useful tools -- which is reason enough for me to keep going -- I still get more out of individual counselling and this board. The format of AA reminds me of Quaker meetings and perhaps that's why I'm comfortable with it, once having gotten through the door. But I like the give-and-take here, and with my therapist.
Hope you're feeling better today.
Love,
Gina
As you probably know, I've only been to two meetings. I was very nervous before the first one and it helped that I went with a friend to a very small group. They went out of their way to welcome me and put no pressure on me at all, either to speak (which I did, and at length, lol) or to keep coming, beyond a heartfelt, "Hope to see you here again."
I told my children I was going to see some friends. When I break it to them about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, I'll tell them about AA, too. (I'm not kidding, they still believe.)
To be honest, while the meetings each provided me with a couple of useful tools -- which is reason enough for me to keep going -- I still get more out of individual counselling and this board. The format of AA reminds me of Quaker meetings and perhaps that's why I'm comfortable with it, once having gotten through the door. But I like the give-and-take here, and with my therapist.
Hope you're feeling better today.
Love,
Gina
Wow as I read these it really hit me that alot of moms have this problem.Ok Im going to tell something about me & my life & I really hope nobody looses any respect for me or gets to upset with me.
I have 2 daughter ages 17(almost)and 13(almost).My older daughter & I went through what I call the really hard years.I was with their dad for close to 10 years.I dont talk about those years much because things happened & both my daughter & I went through things that no woman should have to go through,.Anyways my oldest saw alot ,when my youngest was 2mths old their father cut my throat with a broken beer bottle.So I said enough & made a new life for me & the girls.It hurts to say that I have made some really bad choices in my life.My daughter the oldest since she was 12 & my youngest who has just Id say in the last 2 years knows about my problems.at one point my oldest with her than BF & his mom started to go to different meetings.You know meetings for her age group(15-17)that have parents like my daughter.She for a very long time before I actually wanted to be in recovery was always trying to push me to get help.Like you all know you go in recovery when your ready,
My purpose for this long story is this.When my daughters found out that I joined this board & I started to get serious about recovery,my girls hugged me so hard & so much that I couldnt breathe.I totally respect you mom that deside not to let your children know.Everyone is different & you know your kids better than anyone so you would know what would upset them.Im just saying my story.And my daughters & my BF are the ones who are supporting me the most with this.My oldest even says shell go to a meeting with me.Im just unsure on my feelings about it yet.So anyways as I said you guys know whats best with your kid in this.But for me knowing how proud my daughters are of me helps me keep wanting to do better.
Please keep up with your stories I am enjoying reading what you are saying....mj
I have 2 daughter ages 17(almost)and 13(almost).My older daughter & I went through what I call the really hard years.I was with their dad for close to 10 years.I dont talk about those years much because things happened & both my daughter & I went through things that no woman should have to go through,.Anyways my oldest saw alot ,when my youngest was 2mths old their father cut my throat with a broken beer bottle.So I said enough & made a new life for me & the girls.It hurts to say that I have made some really bad choices in my life.My daughter the oldest since she was 12 & my youngest who has just Id say in the last 2 years knows about my problems.at one point my oldest with her than BF & his mom started to go to different meetings.You know meetings for her age group(15-17)that have parents like my daughter.She for a very long time before I actually wanted to be in recovery was always trying to push me to get help.Like you all know you go in recovery when your ready,
My purpose for this long story is this.When my daughters found out that I joined this board & I started to get serious about recovery,my girls hugged me so hard & so much that I couldnt breathe.I totally respect you mom that deside not to let your children know.Everyone is different & you know your kids better than anyone so you would know what would upset them.Im just saying my story.And my daughters & my BF are the ones who are supporting me the most with this.My oldest even says shell go to a meeting with me.Im just unsure on my feelings about it yet.So anyways as I said you guys know whats best with your kid in this.But for me knowing how proud my daughters are of me helps me keep wanting to do better.
Please keep up with your stories I am enjoying reading what you are saying....mj
Molly,
Thank you for sharing. I had no idea what you have been through. I am simply in awe. May I shake your hand and give you a big hug? I guess it's true that nothing can destroy an essentially beautiful soul (that would be you, mj).
With deepest respect and love,
Gina
P.S. I hope your ex gets what's coming to him.
Thank you for sharing. I had no idea what you have been through. I am simply in awe. May I shake your hand and give you a big hug? I guess it's true that nothing can destroy an essentially beautiful soul (that would be you, mj).
With deepest respect and love,
Gina
P.S. I hope your ex gets what's coming to him.
MJ
I went to my first meeting about 6 weeks ago. it was an NA meeting. I was very apprehensive about going and knew I would find an excuse not to go at the last minute. I could never imagine me going to meetings. Well for some reason I just went. I was really kinda excited...and nervious at the same time.
I walked in, went to the back of the room and sat down hoping nobody would talk to me. I was welcomed with a chip and then I just sat and didn't say anything the whole meeting. I guess you can participate as much or as little as you want. I did the latter.
There was a speaker that was sober for 27 years and what he had to say was very interesting. They turned the lights out which was just fine with me. After the meeting I left quickly. I was happy I went. I had a feeling that I was finally doing something positive to help me.
I've been going back and starting to feel a little more comfortable with it all. I have been to aa as well and for me I find that to be a better fit. A couple of suggestions...Stay away from the coffee and bring a pillow. The chairs are killer.
Frank
molly
first off .. what gina just said.... and let me add... let me thank you from one child of abuse to a mom... thank for getting out.. for having the guts to do it... some never do...
now as for telling the kids... let me say something very very contravesial... i take mine with me often.... she is 7... an very mature 7... she knows and has known .. she has known about my arrest and all the lovely details... that was not my choice at the time about the arrest part at least but... anyhoo... she knows all the gargon.. what clean means and relapse and sponsor... lol... she gets people coffee at the meetings especial new ones... they say afterward that they find it quite comforting... but that is just me and I dont regret it for one minute... I think in the long run she will respect me for my recovery and the work that I have done.. though I am not proud by any stretch of the imagination but proud of my recovery...
now as for meetings.... I remember my first one... it was a scary experience cause everyone knew everyone but i was alone.... it didnt take long for someone to see me at the liteture table and say... hey arent you new?... and that was all it took.. I didnt share that night or for a while but.. we talked after... and then it got easier.. these people knew my struggles and knew my fears without me even saying anything....
so i wish you luck in your quest for understanding and in making your leap of faith.....
God bless...
Teresa
first off .. what gina just said.... and let me add... let me thank you from one child of abuse to a mom... thank for getting out.. for having the guts to do it... some never do...
now as for telling the kids... let me say something very very contravesial... i take mine with me often.... she is 7... an very mature 7... she knows and has known .. she has known about my arrest and all the lovely details... that was not my choice at the time about the arrest part at least but... anyhoo... she knows all the gargon.. what clean means and relapse and sponsor... lol... she gets people coffee at the meetings especial new ones... they say afterward that they find it quite comforting... but that is just me and I dont regret it for one minute... I think in the long run she will respect me for my recovery and the work that I have done.. though I am not proud by any stretch of the imagination but proud of my recovery...
now as for meetings.... I remember my first one... it was a scary experience cause everyone knew everyone but i was alone.... it didnt take long for someone to see me at the liteture table and say... hey arent you new?... and that was all it took.. I didnt share that night or for a while but.. we talked after... and then it got easier.. these people knew my struggles and knew my fears without me even saying anything....
so i wish you luck in your quest for understanding and in making your leap of faith.....
God bless...
Teresa
After I listened, I heard myself...in other's stories. I felt like I was home...and wasn't the only one holding this burden. A bunch of shame lifted...
I went because I was getting drunk everytime I drank whether I wanted to or not; I could never control the amount I drank...
kerry
I went because I was getting drunk everytime I drank whether I wanted to or not; I could never control the amount I drank...
kerry
I guess the basis I chose Molly was that I didnt want to "desensitize" them with the problems and lingo and whats out thereas far as bringing them around all kinds of adults etc. i just dont want them to go thru what i did. My mom smokes, i smoke kinda deal.. ...thats what Im trying to avoid, if mom did it I can too. It never effected me to where they knew I was using. I just quit cold turkey and just for right now, I would like to "recover", I love this board and if I feel like I need to go out to hear the same info, perhaps I will deal with it with my kids if I have to. I understand abuse. I feel for ya. Twice for me....First was mental abuse, second was physical and you JUST gotta leave for the kids to protect their self esteem. That's what Im trying to do today...everyday. ITS hard as hell my dear but amazing how everything works out>>>I WOULD BE 1.000 THAT HE HASNT CHANGED ONE BIT SINCE THE SPLIT EITHER. GLAD YOUR POSTIN...MUST BE FEELING BETTER.
