flipperbaby- got 30 on tuesday, took probably 6-7 a day, gone on sat. Haven't seen my doc since I started the percs, since I'm already seeing a neurosurgeon on thurs, but he knows my WHOLE history and is very mindful of my past. Also, girlfriend has the pills and monitors my use, she's coming up on 6 years in AA......
Good on you. It's sounds like your doing it all right. That's sucks that you're experiencing this. You need another solution to this. You should stop taking them if you're already getting shaky legs. Ask them on Thursday why the they would give a recovering heroin addict and opiate for pain. Well, I hope you get through this smoothly. You sound like you're pretty aware and on top of things.
hey dingy[rae],as i have already told you i'm back to useing[strickly for pain issues only]marie has my pills and gives the amount directed from the doctor,but reguardless i will be going through the withdraw fun stuff again someday[thats always something to look forward to],anyhow i had over 6months clean,so i will be needing you again to help me through it just like last time,your friend always.............vinny.
Vinny,
I am so happy to see you posting. You have been missed around here my friend. Of course I will be here for you anytime ( using, clean, withdrawling whatever! I am glad Marie is holding them for you this way you won't run out early and withdrawl once a month. I know you can't be trusted taking them on your own. Thanks for popping in and saying hello. I hope to see more of you around here!! Your dingy friend always, Rae
I am so happy to see you posting. You have been missed around here my friend. Of course I will be here for you anytime ( using, clean, withdrawling whatever! I am glad Marie is holding them for you this way you won't run out early and withdrawl once a month. I know you can't be trusted taking them on your own. Thanks for popping in and saying hello. I hope to see more of you around here!! Your dingy friend always, Rae
Hi everyone. I know some of you know about my situation... I'm almost done with my tapering method. Its been just over 2 weeks. Starting from banging more than 400mgOC a day (often way more) to 0, then to 30mg methadone a day to now I'm down to 3-2mg of methadone every other day, actually, I think its been longer than that since my last dose. (So, am I done? I'll let you guys know in a few more days)
I'm alittle behind schedule, but still going to make it. I feel cold, but winter is coming, so it might not just be me. I am not feeling too energetic, and definitely have the blues, but I knew it was coming.
I haven't had the runs. I have slept everyday. I think I even gained a few extra pounds this last week. Oh, my sex drive is back too. I thought I hit middle age or something...
I posted alot during the first week, and alot of you didn't think my approach would work, and even cautioned I might end up in the morgue.
Let me tell you, I really needed that. It was nice to have genuine support from some of you (esp. the lady with the tinkerbell avatar), and also nice to have people who only believe in their ways to argue with. It helped me keep my mind off using.
My track marks have healed incredibly fast, I just noticed as I am seeing my typing hands.
Anyways, if anyone is looking to quit using, and would like to try my way, I'll be more than willing to share my thoughts. It may not work for everyone, but if you really want to quit, I think its not a bad way to do it.
I'm alittle behind schedule, but still going to make it. I feel cold, but winter is coming, so it might not just be me. I am not feeling too energetic, and definitely have the blues, but I knew it was coming.
I haven't had the runs. I have slept everyday. I think I even gained a few extra pounds this last week. Oh, my sex drive is back too. I thought I hit middle age or something...
I posted alot during the first week, and alot of you didn't think my approach would work, and even cautioned I might end up in the morgue.
Let me tell you, I really needed that. It was nice to have genuine support from some of you (esp. the lady with the tinkerbell avatar), and also nice to have people who only believe in their ways to argue with. It helped me keep my mind off using.
My track marks have healed incredibly fast, I just noticed as I am seeing my typing hands.
Anyways, if anyone is looking to quit using, and would like to try my way, I'll be more than willing to share my thoughts. It may not work for everyone, but if you really want to quit, I think its not a bad way to do it.
hey chin
im jealous that this is going so well for you---but Im happy too--dont get me wrong. Do you have the sweats and creepy crawlies? i hated that so much.
im glad youre doing well and that youre sticking with it. Best of luck to you--please keep posting--i like to read them--thanks, fire
im jealous that this is going so well for you---but Im happy too--dont get me wrong. Do you have the sweats and creepy crawlies? i hated that so much.
im glad youre doing well and that youre sticking with it. Best of luck to you--please keep posting--i like to read them--thanks, fire
Jbr....try a hot bath, or a sauna, and get out and get some exersize...it helps. I can relate to exactly how you feel.....and exersizing helps you get back to normal faster.
You can also go stare at tv snow :0)
kerry
You can also go stare at tv snow :0)
kerry
What a great post Rae, thanks. By the way, I already posted on another thread, proud of me but I wanted to apologize to all of you for my "GOD" post.
Ok now, what am I at? Day 8 and today was a much better day than yesterday. My doc is/was codiene and I have been addicted to it for prolly a lil over 20 yrs. I would go to any pharmacy and just ask for a bottle of 200 or 300 generic tylenol w/codeine and away I'd go. This was in combination to what I was already getting from my Rheumy or previously, the GP I took to the board of physicans here in Canada. I have only ever really tried to quit once and then I think I just went through the motions. Signed myself in a detox facility, went to Na meetings on a weekly basis for about 6 weeks and then basically moved on. I was clean for about 2 1/2yrs, up until I got a diagnosis from a Dr that I have pretty much figured was a death sentence anyway so why not do it quicker.
My addiction has gotten soooo out of control that I don't know who I am anymore.,,,not to mention how the people around me feel,,,, talk about walking around on eggshells.
My first step was admitting, then telling my Dr not to give me anymore T#3's, calling a counselor, last night finding where a meeting was near me, and then today I stopped at the detox centre I was in for one of their daily meetings, and tomorrow I will attend my first NA meeting.
I admit I am POWERLESS over my addiction and that my life is no longer manageable. From here on in, there's nowhere to go but up!!!!
Thanks again for posting such a poignent thread!!! TTFN Deb(blys)
Ok now, what am I at? Day 8 and today was a much better day than yesterday. My doc is/was codiene and I have been addicted to it for prolly a lil over 20 yrs. I would go to any pharmacy and just ask for a bottle of 200 or 300 generic tylenol w/codeine and away I'd go. This was in combination to what I was already getting from my Rheumy or previously, the GP I took to the board of physicans here in Canada. I have only ever really tried to quit once and then I think I just went through the motions. Signed myself in a detox facility, went to Na meetings on a weekly basis for about 6 weeks and then basically moved on. I was clean for about 2 1/2yrs, up until I got a diagnosis from a Dr that I have pretty much figured was a death sentence anyway so why not do it quicker.
My addiction has gotten soooo out of control that I don't know who I am anymore.,,,not to mention how the people around me feel,,,, talk about walking around on eggshells.
My first step was admitting, then telling my Dr not to give me anymore T#3's, calling a counselor, last night finding where a meeting was near me, and then today I stopped at the detox centre I was in for one of their daily meetings, and tomorrow I will attend my first NA meeting.
I admit I am POWERLESS over my addiction and that my life is no longer manageable. From here on in, there's nowhere to go but up!!!!
Thanks again for posting such a poignent thread!!! TTFN Deb(blys)
The first week was bad. Full w/ds like going CT, but one key difference. I just waited until evening to do my meds. Then, I would be able to eat, relax, and sleep. Then wake up sick and be sick all day until evening time. I think being able to eat and sleep everyday was the key. It helped keep me sane enough to fight the urge to get high. When you are dope sick for multiple days, the temptation can get really bad. Also, for those of you that have mashocistic tendencies and need to really feel like s*** to have felt like you learned a lesson, there's pain and sickness everyday, just not continous.
I don't think I realized that I am addicted until latley.When I ran out of pills and I
thought to myself no problem it will just be for a few days. My body went into
shock the first day, it was like I had a bad flu bug. I missed work and slept most of the day. Then I went to my doctor and told her I hurt my back so I could get a few pills until I get my shipment. I don't think I am ready to quit yet? But yes I want to.I am ashamed and embarressed. My husband is clean and sober
and now I have the problem. I started about 1 year ago, taking 2 a day, now I take about 8 a day. It feels good, life can get so boring. I don't drink booze or
take anything else. This vicodin is perfect. I can still do my job, I have alot of energy, I play tennis and don''t get sore. I am not sure what I think right now??
thanks for posting about newcomers
thought to myself no problem it will just be for a few days. My body went into
shock the first day, it was like I had a bad flu bug. I missed work and slept most of the day. Then I went to my doctor and told her I hurt my back so I could get a few pills until I get my shipment. I don't think I am ready to quit yet? But yes I want to.I am ashamed and embarressed. My husband is clean and sober
and now I have the problem. I started about 1 year ago, taking 2 a day, now I take about 8 a day. It feels good, life can get so boring. I don't drink booze or
take anything else. This vicodin is perfect. I can still do my job, I have alot of energy, I play tennis and don''t get sore. I am not sure what I think right now??
thanks for posting about newcomers
Hockey Mom,
You're flirting with disaster. You're at the hump now where it's going to start getting way out of control. Like yourself, I started out slow for a year and then the last few months got absolutely insane. I never really did any drugs or drank before so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Trust me when I tell you that the time to quit is now. It WILL get unbearable and you won't be much of a hockey mom soon. Being a hockey dad myself, I can safely say that you won't make one practice or early morning game in about 4 more months. Getting out of bed will be a major challenge. If you think you're body is in shock now, just wait. When you're up to 12-20 a day (which you will be), then you'll experience shock. It seems like it's good now but believe me, the pills will stop working very soon. I'll bump up a post called "Your brain on opiates" I think it's called by my friend Tim. Read it. You're not thinking straight.
I suspect that you probably live in Canada. I'm in the Toronto area and got some great help here. If you need some resources, I'd be gald to help you.
All the best. God bless hockey moms everywhere!
You're flirting with disaster. You're at the hump now where it's going to start getting way out of control. Like yourself, I started out slow for a year and then the last few months got absolutely insane. I never really did any drugs or drank before so I thought it wouldn't be a problem. Trust me when I tell you that the time to quit is now. It WILL get unbearable and you won't be much of a hockey mom soon. Being a hockey dad myself, I can safely say that you won't make one practice or early morning game in about 4 more months. Getting out of bed will be a major challenge. If you think you're body is in shock now, just wait. When you're up to 12-20 a day (which you will be), then you'll experience shock. It seems like it's good now but believe me, the pills will stop working very soon. I'll bump up a post called "Your brain on opiates" I think it's called by my friend Tim. Read it. You're not thinking straight.
I suspect that you probably live in Canada. I'm in the Toronto area and got some great help here. If you need some resources, I'd be gald to help you.
All the best. God bless hockey moms everywhere!
hockeymom,
i started out just like you did, i was super mom and one yr turned into 2 yrs and i needed alittle more pills to keep up with the energy and the good feelings then that turned into 3 yrs and i needed even more then by then i was just using drugs to keep from withdrawling they eventually dont give you energy anymore, they make you sick physicly tired all the time, your life becomes an unmanagable mess and you spend your day waking up looking for a pill and trying to find money to get more pills so you dont run out and your not sick, you become spiritually bankrupt, your family suffers, as all you care about is not getting sick and trying to catch a high and feel good like you used too that first year on pills.
i would suggest that you consider getting away from the pills all they are is false energy, false feelings. you should find a dr and ask for some help to get the right kind of help seek out the right diet and healthier habits. before it is to late and your life becomes one dark scare lonely hopeless feeling confused despair of hell. please dont let 1 year of this addiction turn into 5 like i did. especially with children. no one expects us to be stepford wives. it is impossible. please keep posting and asking more questions. let us know how else we can help. you are so not alone. there are tons of woman just like you. who are doing the very same thing and they have know idea of the consquinces. trust me the longer it last the more brutal it becomes. i am telling you from experience. i started out taking them innocently. i had no idea what i was doing to my life. i am not trying to scare you. but i am being brutally honest here. there is hope and help. life is much better without putting those chemicals in our bodies.
terrianne
i started out just like you did, i was super mom and one yr turned into 2 yrs and i needed alittle more pills to keep up with the energy and the good feelings then that turned into 3 yrs and i needed even more then by then i was just using drugs to keep from withdrawling they eventually dont give you energy anymore, they make you sick physicly tired all the time, your life becomes an unmanagable mess and you spend your day waking up looking for a pill and trying to find money to get more pills so you dont run out and your not sick, you become spiritually bankrupt, your family suffers, as all you care about is not getting sick and trying to catch a high and feel good like you used too that first year on pills.
i would suggest that you consider getting away from the pills all they are is false energy, false feelings. you should find a dr and ask for some help to get the right kind of help seek out the right diet and healthier habits. before it is to late and your life becomes one dark scare lonely hopeless feeling confused despair of hell. please dont let 1 year of this addiction turn into 5 like i did. especially with children. no one expects us to be stepford wives. it is impossible. please keep posting and asking more questions. let us know how else we can help. you are so not alone. there are tons of woman just like you. who are doing the very same thing and they have know idea of the consquinces. trust me the longer it last the more brutal it becomes. i am telling you from experience. i started out taking them innocently. i had no idea what i was doing to my life. i am not trying to scare you. but i am being brutally honest here. there is hope and help. life is much better without putting those chemicals in our bodies.
terrianne
chinnsit,
I am glad your doing what you have to do to get clean. I hope it all works out for you. Your right your way may work for you and nobody else. Or it may help others who knows. Whatever the most important thing is you get clean and burn your bridges.. Meaning don't accept those pills from the guy that called you last night. Keep doing what your doing and keep us updated..Rae
blys729,
I am happy you are doing what you need to do to stay clean this time around. Congrat on Day # 8... Let us know how the meeting goes tonight. You are taking big steps and you should be proud of yourself. May you find peace within yourself oneday very soon. Rae
Hockeymom,
Well your are an addict and if you went from 2 to 8 pills a day in one year then look out. You'll be up to 10-15 pills at the beginning of the year! You are an addict in every sense of the word and you do need help.The good news is you have a doctor and your not buying them off the streets. This way you have the option that so many others do not. Go to your doctor and tell him you have a problem with the vicodin. Hopefully he will help you set up a taper schedule and help you get off.. Vicodin isn't the perfect little pill that you think it is. Right now your still getting the energy to be supermom. I have been there done it myself. The reality of it is that WON'T LAST FOREVER! It just won't and that's a fact. Your body will require more just to " feel normal' and you won't get the buzz you once did. Then what?? Think about it and get help. Your going to have to face the fact your an addict and you are powerless over your addiction. The day will come and pray it won't be to late for you. Good luck and please continue to post. Something you read on this board may help you realize your living in denial. Rae
I am glad your doing what you have to do to get clean. I hope it all works out for you. Your right your way may work for you and nobody else. Or it may help others who knows. Whatever the most important thing is you get clean and burn your bridges.. Meaning don't accept those pills from the guy that called you last night. Keep doing what your doing and keep us updated..Rae
blys729,
I am happy you are doing what you need to do to stay clean this time around. Congrat on Day # 8... Let us know how the meeting goes tonight. You are taking big steps and you should be proud of yourself. May you find peace within yourself oneday very soon. Rae
Hockeymom,
Well your are an addict and if you went from 2 to 8 pills a day in one year then look out. You'll be up to 10-15 pills at the beginning of the year! You are an addict in every sense of the word and you do need help.The good news is you have a doctor and your not buying them off the streets. This way you have the option that so many others do not. Go to your doctor and tell him you have a problem with the vicodin. Hopefully he will help you set up a taper schedule and help you get off.. Vicodin isn't the perfect little pill that you think it is. Right now your still getting the energy to be supermom. I have been there done it myself. The reality of it is that WON'T LAST FOREVER! It just won't and that's a fact. Your body will require more just to " feel normal' and you won't get the buzz you once did. Then what?? Think about it and get help. Your going to have to face the fact your an addict and you are powerless over your addiction. The day will come and pray it won't be to late for you. Good luck and please continue to post. Something you read on this board may help you realize your living in denial. Rae
This is a greaqt thread,thanks Rae.I personally am on my second attempt to getting clean from norcos.Reading everyones experiences is just so eye opening.I can realate to all of you,at almost every stage.I started taking norocs about 2 years ago,one here one there.I wsant prescribed them by my dr,i had no pain.It was recreational only.A family meber(who is an addict but i had NO IDEA about that really)would offer me on once in awhile.We would have a family gathering at the beach,nice fun relaxing atmosphere,and she would offer,i said sure why not.Thats just how innocently it started for me.One here one there,eventually it was one a day,etc...Man if i only knew then what i know now!!!!
Hockey mom,i kind of wanted to post to you because i am just past the point where you are today.Back about 5 months ago i had started losing that "superwomen" euphoria.I found myslef getting up with aches and pains,having to pop 2/3 pills and chug them down with a glass of water before i eased my feet off the bed.Im only 44(still 20 in my head)but i would wake up feeling like 84,and im not exaggerating.I decided i had had enough,at that point i had been using a year an a half maybe,i was taking around 12 pills a day.I made up my mind i was quitting htat very day(after the ups guy had dropped off my brand new bottle of pills that morning)i flushed them and went into detox.What im getting at is,everythign Rae and terrianne just told you,is the aboslute truth,i am here to attest to that first hand because i am at that point right now.In a very short time i went from wonder women to being sick and having to take more an more pills just to function in my every day normal life.It IS scary,Rae says she doesnt want to scare you,but im here to say,when it happens,it scares like you cant imagine.I did manage to stay clean 3 months and relapsed for a couple months but im back again and more determined than ever to gain control of my life.I also want to add,this few month that ive relapsed,my usage escalated at an amazing rate,i needed even more to keep me functioning.I hope you really take these replies to heart,i wish i had found this board and all these great people before i first quit,it would have helped me so much more.We all really do wish the best for each other.And i definetly wish the best for you.Please comntinue to post while you're trying to find your way,the support here is amazing.Good luck~KIM
Hockey mom,i kind of wanted to post to you because i am just past the point where you are today.Back about 5 months ago i had started losing that "superwomen" euphoria.I found myslef getting up with aches and pains,having to pop 2/3 pills and chug them down with a glass of water before i eased my feet off the bed.Im only 44(still 20 in my head)but i would wake up feeling like 84,and im not exaggerating.I decided i had had enough,at that point i had been using a year an a half maybe,i was taking around 12 pills a day.I made up my mind i was quitting htat very day(after the ups guy had dropped off my brand new bottle of pills that morning)i flushed them and went into detox.What im getting at is,everythign Rae and terrianne just told you,is the aboslute truth,i am here to attest to that first hand because i am at that point right now.In a very short time i went from wonder women to being sick and having to take more an more pills just to function in my every day normal life.It IS scary,Rae says she doesnt want to scare you,but im here to say,when it happens,it scares like you cant imagine.I did manage to stay clean 3 months and relapsed for a couple months but im back again and more determined than ever to gain control of my life.I also want to add,this few month that ive relapsed,my usage escalated at an amazing rate,i needed even more to keep me functioning.I hope you really take these replies to heart,i wish i had found this board and all these great people before i first quit,it would have helped me so much more.We all really do wish the best for each other.And i definetly wish the best for you.Please comntinue to post while you're trying to find your way,the support here is amazing.Good luck~KIM
hi guys,
today is day 16 off vicodan and this marks the longest period off time i have been off of them for years. yesterday was a good day for me. today however i am scared and don't really know why. i know that recovery is not supposed to be easy especially for newcommers. i also know that going back to the pills would only make things worse. thank all of you for being here to make the fight a little more bearable.
peace and love,
AC
today is day 16 off vicodan and this marks the longest period off time i have been off of them for years. yesterday was a good day for me. today however i am scared and don't really know why. i know that recovery is not supposed to be easy especially for newcommers. i also know that going back to the pills would only make things worse. thank all of you for being here to make the fight a little more bearable.
peace and love,
AC
j and j,
keep on going and trying a great saying my friend told me once. is its ok to be where you are its not ok to stay there : ) so you keep moving forward in your recovery, i went to therapy one on one it helped me a great deal. some people use na or aa. some f2f support is important and helpful. keep going.
hitch,
congrats on your 16 day !! hey i understand that fear/anxiety feeling. it passes. i found when i kept myself busy doing something i liked it would pass or even just talking to someone, taking the dog for a walk. also those feelings become less and further in between. keep talking and posting and keep up the great sobriety. now go for 17 days : )
terrianne
keep on going and trying a great saying my friend told me once. is its ok to be where you are its not ok to stay there : ) so you keep moving forward in your recovery, i went to therapy one on one it helped me a great deal. some people use na or aa. some f2f support is important and helpful. keep going.
hitch,
congrats on your 16 day !! hey i understand that fear/anxiety feeling. it passes. i found when i kept myself busy doing something i liked it would pass or even just talking to someone, taking the dog for a walk. also those feelings become less and further in between. keep talking and posting and keep up the great sobriety. now go for 17 days : )
terrianne
J&J'sgram,
So glad to see your back on board with us! I remember you and wondered where you went.. Terrianne is right just keep moving forward and get some kind of support to help you along the one.. My BF has been of great support to me. I talk to him often especially when I am getting a craving. I call a really good girlfriend of mine and she puts my butt in check real quick. I know what you mean when you said" IF I only knew then what I know now".. Boy isn't that the truth. My pain pill addiction all started with a vicodin 5 that was given to me by someone. Who would have thought it would have turned into what it did. So all you can do is hang in there and do the best you can to stay clean.. I feel so much better now after 7 months. I have my days but I take it One day at a time!
Good luck and keep posting. Rae
Hitch,
Congratualtions on Day # 16... That is HUGE!! Be proud of yourself and keep moving forward. It will get easier with every passing day. The mental stuff really stinks but try and keep busy... Take care! Rae
So glad to see your back on board with us! I remember you and wondered where you went.. Terrianne is right just keep moving forward and get some kind of support to help you along the one.. My BF has been of great support to me. I talk to him often especially when I am getting a craving. I call a really good girlfriend of mine and she puts my butt in check real quick. I know what you mean when you said" IF I only knew then what I know now".. Boy isn't that the truth. My pain pill addiction all started with a vicodin 5 that was given to me by someone. Who would have thought it would have turned into what it did. So all you can do is hang in there and do the best you can to stay clean.. I feel so much better now after 7 months. I have my days but I take it One day at a time!
Good luck and keep posting. Rae
Hitch,
Congratualtions on Day # 16... That is HUGE!! Be proud of yourself and keep moving forward. It will get easier with every passing day. The mental stuff really stinks but try and keep busy... Take care! Rae
Anyone out there struggling to get clean tonight? Anyone that is detoxing or tapering? I would love to hear from you and see how your feeling!! Rae
rae
i am having a biotch of a time with my coke habit, i switched over to splenda but i dont know i think that is giving it more of a kick :-P love ya heheh sorry just thought we all could use some random humor : )
terrianne
i am having a biotch of a time with my coke habit, i switched over to splenda but i dont know i think that is giving it more of a kick :-P love ya heheh sorry just thought we all could use some random humor : )
terrianne
I hear ya Boo. I am having a heck of a time with my Dr.Pepper habit. I need at least one a day. I will drive to Mc Donalds or Wendy's in the middle of the night because the fountain drinks are so good. I really need to cut caffiene out of my diet and lose about 10 lbs... Oh well it isn't happening anytime soon:-)
Well got to go hope to talk to you soon. Kristin wants to get online. I guess I have to share:-(
C-ya Rae
Well got to go hope to talk to you soon. Kristin wants to get online. I guess I have to share:-(
C-ya Rae
