oh dont get me started on my slurpee fixes hehehe
terrianne
I am not a newcomer but I am still tapering off of pills, since my recent relapse of Loratab.. I was taking about 8 a day and right now I feel really down and figure what is the use, I go to meetings but tonight I just dont feel like being around anyone, I posted earlier in a thread, still sharing, but I guess there were not many people around since I did not get any responses.. Ok I am whining now so I will shut up hope you all have a better night than me..
paula,
whine away, everyone has to have somewhere to let it out, especially early on in recovery we ALL have felt that way and it does pass, i promisee, i still feel like that sometimes but not nearly as much and not for very long. i formed a system of ways to get myself out of the funk. they are just feelings. you can find other things to focus on for a while to keep yourself occupied while going through these feelings. excersise is a huge one. but i know its hard to motivate. you just have to make yourself walk around the block. candles, light some, eat some cookies and milk : ) do something for yourself that makes you feel good/happy/ that you enjoy. i even shoot hoops by myself. me the old mom by myself while all the youngens are looking at me like wtf kinda wanna be is she lol. just try and keep your chin up and remember you are worth this. you are deserving. you are taking the steps to a better life you should be so proud of yourself. i for one am very proud of you. now keep it up. go too a park and play on the swings omg especially the tire swings lol yeah i am a dork i even do that too and you know what SO THE HECK WHAT. i love it, its funn as heck!!!
terrianne
whine away, everyone has to have somewhere to let it out, especially early on in recovery we ALL have felt that way and it does pass, i promisee, i still feel like that sometimes but not nearly as much and not for very long. i formed a system of ways to get myself out of the funk. they are just feelings. you can find other things to focus on for a while to keep yourself occupied while going through these feelings. excersise is a huge one. but i know its hard to motivate. you just have to make yourself walk around the block. candles, light some, eat some cookies and milk : ) do something for yourself that makes you feel good/happy/ that you enjoy. i even shoot hoops by myself. me the old mom by myself while all the youngens are looking at me like wtf kinda wanna be is she lol. just try and keep your chin up and remember you are worth this. you are deserving. you are taking the steps to a better life you should be so proud of yourself. i for one am very proud of you. now keep it up. go too a park and play on the swings omg especially the tire swings lol yeah i am a dork i even do that too and you know what SO THE HECK WHAT. i love it, its funn as heck!!!
terrianne
Paula,
I know you've been struggling... No matter what anyone says you will have to be the one to change you and make peace with yourself. You were clean for a while and you'll get back there again. I know it's scary and not easy to give up. I relapsed many times and stayd clean for months only to repeat history! This time around it was different though I finally did it for myself. In the past 9 years or so I quit twice for 9 months due to 2 pregnancies but started right back up again, once they were born.. Back in 2002 when I detoxed from methadone I hit rock bottom using cocaine as well and going through a horrible divorce with children.
I had no choice to quit my drug use it could have meant my ex getting my son and it being held over my head. So I did what I needed to do and cleaned myself up.. Relapsed again after I got custody awarded to me and got child support checks.. Which by the way was months and months later!
This time around I was using Vicodin/Lortab same difference and it wasn't easy! I didn't really need to quit because of pregnancy or anything I wanted to. I wanted to be a better person and not depend on drugs to get me through the day. I wanted to feel what non-addicts feel" just nomal".. I wanted to be the old Rachel that used to laugh, smile and joke around. I didn't want a stupid vicodin controling who I was anymore. I hated the person I was anyway! Drugs took my self-esteem and my self-respect. So this time I put my mind to it, I prayed, I told on myself to my BF and some close friends. I used this board and read as much as I could and I looked in my children's eyes... That is the reason I am clean today!!
I wish you the same inner peace and happiness. My thoughts are with you as you begin your new life as a " recoverying addict". Sure there will be times even months down the road you will crave the drug. You will even think you can " take just one" but you will work through it. Go to meetings if they help you.. Have some fath in yourself Paula you are no different than me!! Rae
I know you've been struggling... No matter what anyone says you will have to be the one to change you and make peace with yourself. You were clean for a while and you'll get back there again. I know it's scary and not easy to give up. I relapsed many times and stayd clean for months only to repeat history! This time around it was different though I finally did it for myself. In the past 9 years or so I quit twice for 9 months due to 2 pregnancies but started right back up again, once they were born.. Back in 2002 when I detoxed from methadone I hit rock bottom using cocaine as well and going through a horrible divorce with children.
I had no choice to quit my drug use it could have meant my ex getting my son and it being held over my head. So I did what I needed to do and cleaned myself up.. Relapsed again after I got custody awarded to me and got child support checks.. Which by the way was months and months later!
This time around I was using Vicodin/Lortab same difference and it wasn't easy! I didn't really need to quit because of pregnancy or anything I wanted to. I wanted to be a better person and not depend on drugs to get me through the day. I wanted to feel what non-addicts feel" just nomal".. I wanted to be the old Rachel that used to laugh, smile and joke around. I didn't want a stupid vicodin controling who I was anymore. I hated the person I was anyway! Drugs took my self-esteem and my self-respect. So this time I put my mind to it, I prayed, I told on myself to my BF and some close friends. I used this board and read as much as I could and I looked in my children's eyes... That is the reason I am clean today!!
I wish you the same inner peace and happiness. My thoughts are with you as you begin your new life as a " recoverying addict". Sure there will be times even months down the road you will crave the drug. You will even think you can " take just one" but you will work through it. Go to meetings if they help you.. Have some fath in yourself Paula you are no different than me!! Rae
I lost my daddy just a month ago. It was a long hard year prior as he struggled with his cancer. Right before the death when they moved him into hospice I took all his pills. What I mean is I carried them home wondering how they would help me. I have hundreds of loratab, and vicodin. Now, I have run out. I have tried to talk to my doctor, the headshrinker or even my husband. No one knows. Now, I am completely without pills and aching and having the signs of detox. I am scared lonely, haven't slept in days and just don't know what's next.
Yes, I want to stop. No, I don't want more pillsss BUT I don't want to feel the way I am feeling right now.
HELP!!!
Yes, I want to stop. No, I don't want more pillsss BUT I don't want to feel the way I am feeling right now.
HELP!!!
Secretlies
How many pills per day were you taking? and for how long, were you addicted to painkilles before your Dad got sick? BTW I'm very sorry for your loss.
Tell us a little more so we know how to help you!
God Bless
Dottie
How many pills per day were you taking? and for how long, were you addicted to painkilles before your Dad got sick? BTW I'm very sorry for your loss.
Tell us a little more so we know how to help you!
God Bless
Dottie
secretlies,
your w/d wont last forever, you will feelcrapest for about a week, i will bump up a post of some over the counter meds that will help, started by rae73, on the 1st page. you can do this keep posting and talking, you will have insomnia, anxiety, flu like symptems. but we are all here to support you. can you tell us all what you were using as some drugs have dangerous w/d effects such as seizures. so we know if you might want to contact a dr. to help you with non narcotic meds to help ease w/d. it is not anything to be ashamed of. many many people get accidently hooked, many dr's and nurses see this daily. it is a disease/illness, just like diabetes and such. please know you are not alone. i am so glad you reached out. please tell us a bit more as i bump up raes over the counter post.
terrianne
your w/d wont last forever, you will feelcrapest for about a week, i will bump up a post of some over the counter meds that will help, started by rae73, on the 1st page. you can do this keep posting and talking, you will have insomnia, anxiety, flu like symptems. but we are all here to support you. can you tell us all what you were using as some drugs have dangerous w/d effects such as seizures. so we know if you might want to contact a dr. to help you with non narcotic meds to help ease w/d. it is not anything to be ashamed of. many many people get accidently hooked, many dr's and nurses see this daily. it is a disease/illness, just like diabetes and such. please know you are not alone. i am so glad you reached out. please tell us a bit more as i bump up raes over the counter post.
terrianne
Secretlies... i am so sorry to hear of your loss. Welcome to the board...
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
Love and God Bless,
Briana :)
Secretlies.....I'm also sorry for your loss. The loss of a loved one is a pain that even medications won't help. As a recovering drug addict myself....pain medication was the resolution to all of my pains......so I thought. I hope everyone is have a great drug free day!!
Michele
Michele
Rae and Terrieanne,, Thank you so much for the support.. I know what you say is true,, I am determined to do this but at the same time I am so scared I dont know why, because I have done this before.. I am so sick of this back and forth game I seem to play I know I can do it.. so why does it seem so hard to just do it.. The meetings do help me so much and now my addict is trying to keep me away from them, I know I cannot do this with out the meetings that is just it.. I have tried to do it by myself and it really does not work for me.. I am too weak to do this by myself.. You guys are such an inspiration to me it shows me that it can be done and it is possible to stay clean.. right now I cant imagine a world with out them even though I know what a great place the world is without them.. funny way to think I know but I know there is a better life for me.. and I want it..
Paula you said:
I know there is a better life for me.. and I want it..
Well what are you waiting for? You've got to go get it.. We are all behind you. Get your butt started now. Don't sit there and say tomorrow.. Tomorrow may never come. You have today Paula... It's scary but you can do it. Your stronger than you think you are. I have seen you do it before...
Love Rae
I know there is a better life for me.. and I want it..
Well what are you waiting for? You've got to go get it.. We are all behind you. Get your butt started now. Don't sit there and say tomorrow.. Tomorrow may never come. You have today Paula... It's scary but you can do it. Your stronger than you think you are. I have seen you do it before...
Love Rae
Rae.....I hope this doesn't come out wrong....but .....
"It's scary but you can do it. Your stronger than you think you are. I have seen you do it before..."
Isn't that an oxymorone.......If she did it before.....she wouldn't be doing it again. Isn't that like, "I quit smoking for a year but started back" Making the quiting not really quiting? This is where my frustration comes in......It's like a catch 22.....neverending......Is there ever a truly drug free drug addict?
"It's scary but you can do it. Your stronger than you think you are. I have seen you do it before..."
Isn't that an oxymorone.......If she did it before.....she wouldn't be doing it again. Isn't that like, "I quit smoking for a year but started back" Making the quiting not really quiting? This is where my frustration comes in......It's like a catch 22.....neverending......Is there ever a truly drug free drug addict?
Good morning to all. Secretlies you are not alone. NOTHING to be ashamed of.
You are in the right place. Hang in there. It will pass.
Hi DR.Rae --Rachel where did you get your degree? I took my b-12 and I am flying.
Just kidding. I appeciate the tip. Did some reading and it also helps the immune system which is excellent for me.
Thanks again DR.Rae
Jeff
Terrianne I relate to people telling lies to make themselves look better. My EX was like this . Drove me nuts.
Good morning to all
You are in the right place. Hang in there. It will pass.
Hi DR.Rae --Rachel where did you get your degree? I took my b-12 and I am flying.
Just kidding. I appeciate the tip. Did some reading and it also helps the immune system which is excellent for me.
Thanks again DR.Rae
Jeff
Terrianne I relate to people telling lies to make themselves look better. My EX was like this . Drove me nuts.
Good morning to all
mis, I understand what you are saying I try to look at things this way, I believe I have a diease that cannot be cured but it can be put in remission.. I will never be cured I will always be an addict and will never be able to take pills, any form of mind altering pills will always be a problem for me.. I cant take diet pill or pain pills or well you get the picture.. I also know that even though I have never really had a problem with alcohol that I can not drink either because I like the high that it gives me and I would continue to use it to get high if I drink.. so I stay away from it.. So no for me I will never be cured of this disease but I can send it in to remission and work really hard to keep it there.. JMHO
mls,
i think your confused, people in recovery working a program are drug free, i dont understand your point. you may be an exception, but we are all striving for recovery and a drug free life and yes for today and the past year i have been drug free. so i dont know your story to much and where your train of thought is but i disagree strongly.
terrianne
jeffer
good morning pal, so happy to see my chipper buddy today : ) thanks for your thoughts.
i think your confused, people in recovery working a program are drug free, i dont understand your point. you may be an exception, but we are all striving for recovery and a drug free life and yes for today and the past year i have been drug free. so i dont know your story to much and where your train of thought is but i disagree strongly.
terrianne
jeffer
good morning pal, so happy to see my chipper buddy today : ) thanks for your thoughts.
trying.....thanks for responding. I just read these boards and get so angry sometimes....it's like we've all set each other up for failure and then tell everyone it's ok. And that you can do it again.........do it today.....well there's always tomorrow....now tomorrow is today....but that's ok......you can do it today......It's like we are all enabling each other to fail and fail again......as long as you know your a drug addict...it's ok......am I making any sense?
mls,
What would you have rathered me say to Paula? What would have been better? Should I have said no you can't do it? Don't start today start next month? What?
I am confused!! Many addicts relapse it doesn't mean it's ok.. It just happens.. So we try again and that's the way it goes. Rae
What would you have rathered me say to Paula? What would have been better? Should I have said no you can't do it? Don't start today start next month? What?
I am confused!! Many addicts relapse it doesn't mean it's ok.. It just happens.. So we try again and that's the way it goes. Rae
Secretlies,
I just wanted you to know I am here for you! I started new thread for you on the board. I hope you come back. So Sorry to hear about your dad.. Take care and hang in there! Rae
I just wanted you to know I am here for you! I started new thread for you on the board. I hope you come back. So Sorry to hear about your dad.. Take care and hang in there! Rae
terrianne.....I must be confused because a drug addict who is "tapering" is not drug free to me. I think maybe I'm just having a bad day.....you don't really need to know my story as it's the same as most of us on here.......Long story short......prescribed pain pills for a herniated disc.......took them for every reason ever.....got addicted.....I'm a drug addict. I came here to learn from other drug addicts.......and flipping from board to board......I just get mixed signals......don't take the pills....oh you took them.....well thats ok....don't take anymore......oh you did......well that's ok.......I'm just venting. I don't mean to be such a biatch this morning......I'm sure it's all part of the recovery process.....
I must be confused because a drug addict who is "tapering" is not drug free to me..
Your right Michele. Someone that is tapering is not drug free but that doesn't mean they can't be or shouldn't strive to be. Rae
Your right Michele. Someone that is tapering is not drug free but that doesn't mean they can't be or shouldn't strive to be. Rae
