Rae...that's exactly my point. Isn't that what you really feel like saying sometimes? Just the other day you had no problem telling me i'm sure to fail in my recovery by allowing myself to deal with my addiction with the temptation right in my own house.......whether I flush the pills or take them......either option would be ok here because we are all drug addicts and this is just what we do...
I'm really trying to make a point.....but the words aren't coming out right I guess.
mls,
i got ya, i understand better, thanks for the response. i respect your thoughts
terrianne
i got ya, i understand better, thanks for the response. i respect your thoughts
terrianne
mls.. I have always been told that relapse is just a nice way of saying that you have f***ed up and I believe that, but you know there is no sense in beating yourself up over this, I dont think when someone offers their support and tell them they have to try again and that they can do this and then offers support and knowledge of what worked for them is giving them permission to use again.. I think they are just trying to encourage you to pick yourself up and try again because eventually you will get this because you have done it before.. I need people to kick my a** and I look at it that they care enough about me to kick my a**, I also need to know that I am not worthless and that I am strong enough to do this and just because I relapsed that I am not a weak person I am just weak when it comes to my addiction so I need some help.. People do relapse, and when we relapse we feel bad enough and if someone comes on here and was to say you are a worthless piece of crap and you can not do this you are to weak so why try just stay lost in your own self pity and self loathing well now that to me would make me think ok maybe they are right.. I guess what I am saying is all the advice of others adds to my recovery it adds to the mix of people on here and we need all the advice and direction we can get.. JMHO
What exactly are you looking for mls? There's only one message. Get clean. You're still keeping pills in your house. Why are you looking for what you want to hear? Get rid of your pills, that's YOUR message. Work on that and then the next step will come.
As far as relapsing goes, what are you going to tell an addict that relapses? Are you going to tell them that was a mistake? No, it's in the past and there's no changing that, so you comfort them and work on the present. You'd just scare them away anyway if you went the other route. There's enough shame in relapsing as it is. Why rub it in? These are adults who know right from wrong, they're not stupid, just addicts.
For now, I'd work on your problems and not worry about advice to others. You have enough on your plate considering your an addict keeping your doc in front of you. That's just crazy. I wish you all the best and lots of luck. Luck is your only hope with pills in your drawer.
By the way mls, I believe that 9 out 10 addicts relapse at some point.
As far as relapsing goes, what are you going to tell an addict that relapses? Are you going to tell them that was a mistake? No, it's in the past and there's no changing that, so you comfort them and work on the present. You'd just scare them away anyway if you went the other route. There's enough shame in relapsing as it is. Why rub it in? These are adults who know right from wrong, they're not stupid, just addicts.
For now, I'd work on your problems and not worry about advice to others. You have enough on your plate considering your an addict keeping your doc in front of you. That's just crazy. I wish you all the best and lots of luck. Luck is your only hope with pills in your drawer.
By the way mls, I believe that 9 out 10 addicts relapse at some point.
Paula....thank you....that was nicely put and points well taken. And I'm just venting because I'm angry.....and confused and angry about being confused and angry about being a drug addict and angry at the world. I, in no way mean to be insensitive to anyone.....I know we all come here for encouragement and help. That's why I keep coming back. Because I can yell, "I'M A DRUG ADDICT" and know I'm not the only one feeling this way. I don't feel like I'm making any sense today.......I hope I have not upset or offended anyone.....
paula,
stick with the winners, you know who they are and how we feel, you are far from worthless, you rock star you, now let yourself shine chica :)
terrianne
stick with the winners, you know who they are and how we feel, you are far from worthless, you rock star you, now let yourself shine chica :)
terrianne
Mis
I Disagree, how are we setting each other up to fail??
What I see are people trying to support each other in not using!! But there are times when people on this board are desperatly hurting from REAL pain issues and all we can do is let them know that they shouldn't suffer when pain is interfering with the Quality of their lives, We arn't saying it's OK to use drugs, what we are saying is that when people like Sharonn & Jean have a flare-up from a cronic disease, & they can't funtion, then they need to make a desision to take a pill as a last resort......But for God's sake, please don't suffer because you think your blowing your clean time, I Mean that's just plain crazy.
now for people who have sprained an ankle or things around that line, I would tell that person to use every topical solution 1st, most injuries can be handled painwise with some advil & or Ice, maybe heat, I am Queen of the clutzes and have hurt myself many times, and in most cases I could have gotten away without painkillers, So the long & short of it is....Sometimes the people who suffer from cronic pain issues don't really have a choice but to take a pill, No one is going to bring the hammer down on these people, It's not their fault, and they should not be made to feel guilty about that. What we need to do is offer some advice, like telling people to have another family member dole out the pills when they are hurting far worse than some of us will ever know.
There is a big difference in these situation's
Does that make sense to you????????
Dottie
I Disagree, how are we setting each other up to fail??
What I see are people trying to support each other in not using!! But there are times when people on this board are desperatly hurting from REAL pain issues and all we can do is let them know that they shouldn't suffer when pain is interfering with the Quality of their lives, We arn't saying it's OK to use drugs, what we are saying is that when people like Sharonn & Jean have a flare-up from a cronic disease, & they can't funtion, then they need to make a desision to take a pill as a last resort......But for God's sake, please don't suffer because you think your blowing your clean time, I Mean that's just plain crazy.
now for people who have sprained an ankle or things around that line, I would tell that person to use every topical solution 1st, most injuries can be handled painwise with some advil & or Ice, maybe heat, I am Queen of the clutzes and have hurt myself many times, and in most cases I could have gotten away without painkillers, So the long & short of it is....Sometimes the people who suffer from cronic pain issues don't really have a choice but to take a pill, No one is going to bring the hammer down on these people, It's not their fault, and they should not be made to feel guilty about that. What we need to do is offer some advice, like telling people to have another family member dole out the pills when they are hurting far worse than some of us will ever know.
There is a big difference in these situation's
Does that make sense to you????????
Dottie
flipper,
well said, couldnt have saqid it better :)
terrianne
well said, couldnt have saqid it better :)
terrianne
Thanks Paula. That is what I am trying to say.
Michele,
I am sorry if you took offense because I told you to flush your lortab in your top dresser drawer. I told you you were setting yourself up! I also told you you would get rid of them when you were damn good and ready and not a second before. I wasn't trying to be mean to you by saying I thought you would eventaully take one. I have been there done it- relpased many many times. I thought just like you. I would just keep pills here and look at them and think about them. You are only 20 days clean. If your an addict evetually you will say to yourself" I have a headache", I will just " take one".. Why else would you have them in your house. They are a safety net for you. Something for you to fall back on should times get rough. I am telling you from experience. You can take it or leave it. Whatever you decide it will be your choice.. We all have free-will. If you should fail a month from now. Yes I will be here for you. That is what addicts and recovering addicts do. We are here no matter what. We are all inthe same boat! You are no different than me. Rae
Michele,
I am sorry if you took offense because I told you to flush your lortab in your top dresser drawer. I told you you were setting yourself up! I also told you you would get rid of them when you were damn good and ready and not a second before. I wasn't trying to be mean to you by saying I thought you would eventaully take one. I have been there done it- relpased many many times. I thought just like you. I would just keep pills here and look at them and think about them. You are only 20 days clean. If your an addict evetually you will say to yourself" I have a headache", I will just " take one".. Why else would you have them in your house. They are a safety net for you. Something for you to fall back on should times get rough. I am telling you from experience. You can take it or leave it. Whatever you decide it will be your choice.. We all have free-will. If you should fail a month from now. Yes I will be here for you. That is what addicts and recovering addicts do. We are here no matter what. We are all inthe same boat! You are no different than me. Rae
Michele,
With all due respect, I have seen so many people trying to reach out to you. You ask for advice and then you want to debate every single thing that anybody says. If someone truly wants to learn, then I would think they would listen to those who have been there. Questions are good...unless you keep asking the same question over and over with the hope that someone will tell you the answer that you WANT to hear. So, if that is what you want, I will be the one to give you your answer. Here goes: sure, your ankle is still hurting and maybe your back is hurting today too. Go ahead and take those 10 or 12 lortab that you got from the ER. After all, they were legally prescribed to you. You can always start over tomorrow.
I really don't mean to be harsh. And I don't want you to take those pills. I just don't understand why you would ask for advice and then challenge those that reach out to you every time? It just seems like you are looking for someone to tell you it's okay to take them...or like you are trying to talk yourself into the fact that it's okay to take them. Man, you've got about 3 weeks clean, right? I hope you aren't setting yourself up for failure. People here care or they wouldn't take the time.
With all due respect, I have seen so many people trying to reach out to you. You ask for advice and then you want to debate every single thing that anybody says. If someone truly wants to learn, then I would think they would listen to those who have been there. Questions are good...unless you keep asking the same question over and over with the hope that someone will tell you the answer that you WANT to hear. So, if that is what you want, I will be the one to give you your answer. Here goes: sure, your ankle is still hurting and maybe your back is hurting today too. Go ahead and take those 10 or 12 lortab that you got from the ER. After all, they were legally prescribed to you. You can always start over tomorrow.
I really don't mean to be harsh. And I don't want you to take those pills. I just don't understand why you would ask for advice and then challenge those that reach out to you every time? It just seems like you are looking for someone to tell you it's okay to take them...or like you are trying to talk yourself into the fact that it's okay to take them. Man, you've got about 3 weeks clean, right? I hope you aren't setting yourself up for failure. People here care or they wouldn't take the time.
Flipper....thanks for responding......I do have alot on my plate and I'm at no point in my recovery to even think about offering advice to anyone....I realize that. I'm just venting.......putting it in writing.....trying to deal with everything....thanks for listening.....and I welcome the jumping on my a**.....that's why I keep coming back for more.......
Michelle you are an addict. One pill is to many and a thousand not enough. I missed something but how did the pills get in the house?
Jeff
Jeff
I tried to read all of this but zoned out..........
MLS.........the bottom line is.......you are an addict, you have pills in your house....you will eventually take them, not maybe, definitely. The disease in you will win the battle. I hate to be harsh, but when you come on this board in a few days saying "Ohhhh, I relapsed, I took the pills", we are probably not going to see the sympathy and consoling you are talking about coming your way I am afraid, because you setting yourself up today.
One of the first steps to getting clean is to shut up and listen to those who have been there, done that. We have, and we are telling you what you need to do, and you are being defensive and trying to justify with ridiculous reasons why you should keep the pills.
If you truly want to prove something, prove you want to stay clean and flush them.
mls, I took no offense to your post.. I know what you mean about the anger and needing to vent I do it all the time I even got on here one time and told everyone how much I hated everything and everyone at that moment..LOL.. of course I did not mean it, well maybe at the time I did but after I wrote it I didnt LOL>.. We all understand how you feel we are here for you when you need to vent and get out your thoughts this board has been my outlet for a long time and I have vented alot of times.. So keep comming back and let us know how you are feeling we want to help.. Just remember we are not always going to hear what we need to hear.. or want to hear..
Rae Thanks,, I love all you guys...
Rae Thanks,, I love all you guys...
I totally agree with Carol....you are not doing yourself any good by keeping pills around the house...you have reservations at the relapse restaurant...go ahead and flush them...the heck with what they cost you....they will cost you your life should you choose to open that bottle, even to look at them...
Get rid of them...
Get rid of them...
secretlies,
my thoughts and prayers are with you. my mother has been fighting ovarian cancer for over 2 years and is on her third round of chemo. i also took some of my mothers oxycodone without her knowledge of course. it's amazing the dark places we allow our demons to take us in the grips of addiction. we will do ANYTHING to get those pills. i have alot of intense anger towards my mother that i still have to work out. i would rationalize taking some of her pills as a way of getting back at her. my guilt however would not let me continue that. terrianne and rae thank you for your kind words and suggestions. yesterday was a rough day but as the day wore on and the closer it was time to go to my na meeting things were much better. also today is a much better day. smiles and love to everyone.
AC
my thoughts and prayers are with you. my mother has been fighting ovarian cancer for over 2 years and is on her third round of chemo. i also took some of my mothers oxycodone without her knowledge of course. it's amazing the dark places we allow our demons to take us in the grips of addiction. we will do ANYTHING to get those pills. i have alot of intense anger towards my mother that i still have to work out. i would rationalize taking some of her pills as a way of getting back at her. my guilt however would not let me continue that. terrianne and rae thank you for your kind words and suggestions. yesterday was a rough day but as the day wore on and the closer it was time to go to my na meeting things were much better. also today is a much better day. smiles and love to everyone.
AC
Jodi
Excellent observation, and well said.......I was thinking exactly the same thing but you brought out the point so well
Dottie
Excellent observation, and well said.......I was thinking exactly the same thing but you brought out the point so well
Dottie
You will be the perfect example and you will learn for yourself. You will relapse very soon and you will come here to open arms. I will be here for you when you relapse and you won't hear any "I told you so". You wouldn't come back if you relapsed and know we would rub it in. Carol will be here for you too, as she knows all too much about this disease and she makes a very valid point. You have to do your legwork too. You're on your hands and knees, getting kicked in the stomach, and you keep asking for more. You're not even fighting back, as a matter of fact, you haven't even tried to get up. If you flush them, you'll be here in a month re-reading all your posts and saying boy, I was not thinking straight. I guarantee it. Here's a perfect example of what you were inquiring about and I mean it: When you relapse (which you will with your drugs in front of you) I will be here for you, we all will be here for you. You are not alone. Maybe you just need to learn the hard way.
God bless.
God bless.
Hey Flipper
Good message......I Totally agree with you, to have pills in the house & then use some lame excuse thet she wants to show herself it can be done is just very Un-Cool, & I believe she will have to find out the hard way, She might as well take them.......she's on a dry high anyway!! and it's a shame, but your right....We will all be here for her when she's done making this mistake and it won't be to pass judgement, We will be here to help!!
Dottie
P.S. How about those Tampa Bay Buccaneer's ?? were off to a good start this season.........Football is my ANTI-DRUG LOL
Good message......I Totally agree with you, to have pills in the house & then use some lame excuse thet she wants to show herself it can be done is just very Un-Cool, & I believe she will have to find out the hard way, She might as well take them.......she's on a dry high anyway!! and it's a shame, but your right....We will all be here for her when she's done making this mistake and it won't be to pass judgement, We will be here to help!!
Dottie
P.S. How about those Tampa Bay Buccaneer's ?? were off to a good start this season.........Football is my ANTI-DRUG LOL
Flipper, you are so right in your predictions...
It is not up to me to judge someone for what they are doing, or about to do...
I was going to post that there wouldn't be alot of sympathy here, but then again in retrospect after your post, i'm sure that there will be...
Maybe you haven't reached a rock bottom yet...
I will also be there if, and when you fall...maybe the miracle of seeing how hard and how fast it will be will be your wake up call
I know it was mine, and in the days to come, that is what I need to remind me that my disease is cunning, baffling and POWERFUL!!!
The disease is still active, whether you use or not...and it does progress.
It is not up to me to judge someone for what they are doing, or about to do...
I was going to post that there wouldn't be alot of sympathy here, but then again in retrospect after your post, i'm sure that there will be...
Maybe you haven't reached a rock bottom yet...
I will also be there if, and when you fall...maybe the miracle of seeing how hard and how fast it will be will be your wake up call
I know it was mine, and in the days to come, that is what I need to remind me that my disease is cunning, baffling and POWERFUL!!!
The disease is still active, whether you use or not...and it does progress.
