Hi August,
I miss you alot. How come ya haven't been on the other board? I really miss you.
Love,
Briar
Briar, thanks for thinking of me. I sat down and attempted to write a thoughtful response to you that avoided casting aspersions or being critical of others on that board. I am afraid that my efforts were in vain.
There has been a pattern prevalent on that board for some time now that is very painful for me to watch. I confess that I am frustrated and angry with a handful of people on that board, and without a doubt they are probably the very ones who need it or at least are dependent upon it, the most. How can I respond? I have said everything there is to say on the subject (i.e., work the steps).
I got to the point where I stopped reading the posts of some who upset me. I never should have taken that Evln Whd Sp Rdg Cse, because even in the process of glossing over threads, I saw quite a bit of ugliness that had no place there or anywhere else for that matter. Disputes that might have been avoided with a simple discussion with ones sponsor seem to boil over and take on a raging, resentful life of their own. I want no part of it.
After a while, I was glossing over entire threads. Then I quit looking altogether. Why risk getting embroiled in some other persons desire to externalize their demons onto others? I decided it was time to move on.
I did look in recently and was rewarded to find that the attack had been turned on me in my absence. It must have been a slow day on the board. Should I consider dignifying that kind of childishness with even a word? I dont think so.
I am struggling to rebuild my life in the wake of a very difficult two or three years. What spare time I have, I choose to devote to areas where I feel that I have at least a chance of making an impact on those to whom I write. I simply do not have the time or the desire to thrust myself back into the drama that ebbs and flows on that board as predictably as the tides.
Take care, thanks for asking about me. Please do not tell the others that I am here. If they follow me over here I will simply have to move on.
August
There has been a pattern prevalent on that board for some time now that is very painful for me to watch. I confess that I am frustrated and angry with a handful of people on that board, and without a doubt they are probably the very ones who need it or at least are dependent upon it, the most. How can I respond? I have said everything there is to say on the subject (i.e., work the steps).
I got to the point where I stopped reading the posts of some who upset me. I never should have taken that Evln Whd Sp Rdg Cse, because even in the process of glossing over threads, I saw quite a bit of ugliness that had no place there or anywhere else for that matter. Disputes that might have been avoided with a simple discussion with ones sponsor seem to boil over and take on a raging, resentful life of their own. I want no part of it.
After a while, I was glossing over entire threads. Then I quit looking altogether. Why risk getting embroiled in some other persons desire to externalize their demons onto others? I decided it was time to move on.
I did look in recently and was rewarded to find that the attack had been turned on me in my absence. It must have been a slow day on the board. Should I consider dignifying that kind of childishness with even a word? I dont think so.
I am struggling to rebuild my life in the wake of a very difficult two or three years. What spare time I have, I choose to devote to areas where I feel that I have at least a chance of making an impact on those to whom I write. I simply do not have the time or the desire to thrust myself back into the drama that ebbs and flows on that board as predictably as the tides.
Take care, thanks for asking about me. Please do not tell the others that I am here. If they follow me over here I will simply have to move on.
August
Hey August,
Well, I'm thinking they already know you're over here. I think that people are just hurt that you choose to not help others on that board anymore. When you came to the board and needed help people reached out to you.
I agree with what Bob said about you. There was drama on the board when you came for help. Didn't seem to bother you then. You kept reaching out for support, didn't you?
Well, I'm thinking they already know you're over here. I think that people are just hurt that you choose to not help others on that board anymore. When you came to the board and needed help people reached out to you.
I agree with what Bob said about you. There was drama on the board when you came for help. Didn't seem to bother you then. You kept reaching out for support, didn't you?
Liz, if people are hurt, I suggest they take a good hard look at their words and actions, do a fourth step and share it with a sponsor.
I came to that board to help develop a support network for people such as myself who are struggling with cancer. In the process, I shared what I could about twelve step recovery. I see now that there is no place for me there, but that is OK, I made it through the cancer and through the pain pills. I will simply seek support elsewhere, since I want nothing more to do with that board. It is time for me to cut my losses.
You do not get a vote on this one Liz. It is my choice and mine alone.
Goodbye
August
Goodbye and take care, :o)
August..
long time no see.
As I too have been acutley aware for sometime of your absence it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out the real reasons behind it and that saddens me as well as makes me confused... I find it very much out of the norm for a male to fall into the pit of taking sides of the drama to the extent of leaving the board as you have done as it appears to many that you have done so in protest... It seems this way as there has been many dramas and 'ugliness' just in the short time that I have been involved since July and you have never appeared to get in the middle, have always offered the voice of objectivitiy, tried to keep it about recovery and when all else failed, you never choose sides. In short you were the switzerland of the addiction board. So I have to ask myself, mostly a retorical question, what has changed?... I think I know but I guess at this point that is neither here nor there.
At any rate, I feel I would be remiss if I didnt point out in defense of us on the add board were there is soooo much 'ugliness' that despite your assessment of the facts at least some of that 'ugliness' has yeilded some good results. I will not name them at this time but if you are so interested I would be more than happy to elaborate.
As for the assessment of your motives for leaving and for posting. I will not comment as to not be judged as being 'ugly' .
I am sorry that you feel as you do and I do know that for the most part you will be missed by some and could have been an asset to the board. As for working the steps, if I feel that your advise is needed or intended for me than I will heed it as necessary. It is always easier to see others inventories, isnt it..
I wish you well.
Teresa
long time no see.
As I too have been acutley aware for sometime of your absence it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out the real reasons behind it and that saddens me as well as makes me confused... I find it very much out of the norm for a male to fall into the pit of taking sides of the drama to the extent of leaving the board as you have done as it appears to many that you have done so in protest... It seems this way as there has been many dramas and 'ugliness' just in the short time that I have been involved since July and you have never appeared to get in the middle, have always offered the voice of objectivitiy, tried to keep it about recovery and when all else failed, you never choose sides. In short you were the switzerland of the addiction board. So I have to ask myself, mostly a retorical question, what has changed?... I think I know but I guess at this point that is neither here nor there.
At any rate, I feel I would be remiss if I didnt point out in defense of us on the add board were there is soooo much 'ugliness' that despite your assessment of the facts at least some of that 'ugliness' has yeilded some good results. I will not name them at this time but if you are so interested I would be more than happy to elaborate.
As for the assessment of your motives for leaving and for posting. I will not comment as to not be judged as being 'ugly' .
I am sorry that you feel as you do and I do know that for the most part you will be missed by some and could have been an asset to the board. As for working the steps, if I feel that your advise is needed or intended for me than I will heed it as necessary. It is always easier to see others inventories, isnt it..
I wish you well.
Teresa
August,
Hi, I'll tell ya' what I think. I don't think your posting on the pill board had anything to do with anything other than your cancer. I think because of the meds you needed to take at the time you needed a place to vent and keep accountable for yourself. Along the way, you helped alot of people, myself included. I think your drug of choice for the most part was weed. And thats why your now choosing to post here. Which is great, but don't make it sound like you were driven off the board due to "drama", you never had a problem detatching from that insanity before. I also think it's a bit silly to tell someone not to say anything about you posting here. Do you really think that people only read one forum? I posted to you on the pill forum the way I did hoping you'd post
cause I enjoyed reading your views on sobriety and I know your posts helped alot of other folks as well. It doesn't really matter to me whether you post or not.
But your reason for not posting over there in my opinion is bulls--t and to me is nothing more than a way for you to again get people to say, "Please don't go",
"your the best" etc.. which translates into nothing more than, poor me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell everyone I know that you post here, nor will I post to you again if thats what you wish. I think you need to be talking to people with your amount of time or more. I don't think we can grow in recovery by only talking to those with less knowledge about recovery. I must say to you, of all the people on this board I've seen grow and come far in their recovery, your view in your posts I do read to me haven't changed since your first. Which either means your closed minded about your view or you simply haven't changed in a program thats based on change. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Anyway, I do wish you all the best,
Take care.......................................God bless.....................................Bob
Hi, I'll tell ya' what I think. I don't think your posting on the pill board had anything to do with anything other than your cancer. I think because of the meds you needed to take at the time you needed a place to vent and keep accountable for yourself. Along the way, you helped alot of people, myself included. I think your drug of choice for the most part was weed. And thats why your now choosing to post here. Which is great, but don't make it sound like you were driven off the board due to "drama", you never had a problem detatching from that insanity before. I also think it's a bit silly to tell someone not to say anything about you posting here. Do you really think that people only read one forum? I posted to you on the pill forum the way I did hoping you'd post
cause I enjoyed reading your views on sobriety and I know your posts helped alot of other folks as well. It doesn't really matter to me whether you post or not.
But your reason for not posting over there in my opinion is bulls--t and to me is nothing more than a way for you to again get people to say, "Please don't go",
"your the best" etc.. which translates into nothing more than, poor me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna tell everyone I know that you post here, nor will I post to you again if thats what you wish. I think you need to be talking to people with your amount of time or more. I don't think we can grow in recovery by only talking to those with less knowledge about recovery. I must say to you, of all the people on this board I've seen grow and come far in their recovery, your view in your posts I do read to me haven't changed since your first. Which either means your closed minded about your view or you simply haven't changed in a program thats based on change. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Anyway, I do wish you all the best,
Take care.......................................God bless.....................................Bob
Thanks to all of you for your wonderful, unsolicited inventories of my behavior, my motivations, my actions, and my thoughts. Amazing how they all seem to have been cut from the same comic book. I have granted your comments all the consideration they so richly deserve.
I think I finally figured out how to succinctly express my views on this subject.
If someone elses dog takes a big greasy, smelly dump in the middle of my living room, his doing so does not mean that I condemn the dog or its owner. It does mean, however, that I must either clean up the mess or live with the stench.
Now if youll pardon me, I seem to have something on my shoe.
Ciao,
August
I think I finally figured out how to succinctly express my views on this subject.
If someone elses dog takes a big greasy, smelly dump in the middle of my living room, his doing so does not mean that I condemn the dog or its owner. It does mean, however, that I must either clean up the mess or live with the stench.
Now if youll pardon me, I seem to have something on my shoe.
Ciao,
August
August,
Well I have lost all respect I have ever had for you. I surely never expected you to act like this EVER. Thats about all I can say.
Well I have lost all respect I have ever had for you. I surely never expected you to act like this EVER. Thats about all I can say.
Wow,
It's funny how you can make your observations and post your opinions about others, but when the table is turned how defensive you get.
I don't have a lot of time in recovery yet, but I sure hope I'm further along than you if God blesses me with that much continuous sobriety. Thats sad.
Take care......................................God bless.....................................Bob
It's funny how you can make your observations and post your opinions about others, but when the table is turned how defensive you get.
I don't have a lot of time in recovery yet, but I sure hope I'm further along than you if God blesses me with that much continuous sobriety. Thats sad.
Take care......................................God bless.....................................Bob
Whats sad is to see people who profess to follow the 12 steps act as childish as some of you act. Couldn't get August to bite on the other board, so you actually had to come over here after him. I'm not here to defend him, he doesn't need it. My gosh people, you need to go back to step one. Start all over and maybe this time you will get it!!! I understand not being perfect and making mistakes, but the same stuff over and over again with different players, that says there is a problem somewhere. Time to take some inventory...make sure it's your own.
Disappointed
Disappointed
hey disappointed,
i did nothing wrong here ....so take your own inventory...
i did nothing wrong here ....so take your own inventory...
I've only made a couple of posts on this board but hey i have as much right to post or not post as i choose, as long as i'm not deliberately abusing anyone. Surely that's the way these things work?
I don't know what anyone's problem with August is or what he's done so wrong, but if all he's done is chosen not to continue posting on another board then where's the problem?
We're surely all humans and have the right to make those choices without getting put down for them. If the 'program' is about change then why complain about it when someone exercises their right to change? If something's not healthy for a person any more why slate him for choosing to change it.
Surely help, assistance and advice should be given without following it up with demands for recompense. I didn't realise there were strings attached or a requirement to justify every move. People come and go, life is by its nature transient and humans by nature are far from perfect. We change, we make mistakes, and the brave among us try to strive for a better future (which i assume is why each one of us is here). Only August can know what's right for him.
Who knows, maybe i'm barking up the wrong tree here and he's done something awfully bad that i'm not aware of. But if that's the case why are you hassling him to stay?
I for one am grateful for the replies August has taken the time to post to me. I say give the guy a break and wish him luck if he's moving on, or be thankful for his help if he stays.
I hope i haven't offended anyone with my post and wish everyone strength in their struggles.
I don't know what anyone's problem with August is or what he's done so wrong, but if all he's done is chosen not to continue posting on another board then where's the problem?
We're surely all humans and have the right to make those choices without getting put down for them. If the 'program' is about change then why complain about it when someone exercises their right to change? If something's not healthy for a person any more why slate him for choosing to change it.
Surely help, assistance and advice should be given without following it up with demands for recompense. I didn't realise there were strings attached or a requirement to justify every move. People come and go, life is by its nature transient and humans by nature are far from perfect. We change, we make mistakes, and the brave among us try to strive for a better future (which i assume is why each one of us is here). Only August can know what's right for him.
Who knows, maybe i'm barking up the wrong tree here and he's done something awfully bad that i'm not aware of. But if that's the case why are you hassling him to stay?
I for one am grateful for the replies August has taken the time to post to me. I say give the guy a break and wish him luck if he's moving on, or be thankful for his help if he stays.
I hope i haven't offended anyone with my post and wish everyone strength in their struggles.
I have seen the "other board", and have seen the way you and your crew treat the people over there. I came over to this board, since I have duel issues, it was easier over here. I hope to never be on the other end of your groups bad side. Just how many people have you all chased away, and don't say it wasn't you. It was all of you. If they don't play by your rules, then they are lost, treated like dirt, and called mean names until they have to runaway. I think that it is terrible that you had to come over here to talk down to someone. If you don't have everyone to see it, you are not happy. I bet everyone on the other place has been here to see the damage you think you caused. I think August did well to let you know where you stand in his mind and in his life. All said and done, I believe bugger off is what I got from his message. Why couldn't you just leave him alone. He was needed here. Thanks a lot. He helps everyone he writes to, and you had to ruin it here for us to. You have done what you wanted and showed us your behaviour that makes the others run. I am out of here too. August, I hope to find you again. You did much for me and given me a different outlook into being sober. Thanks for all you did man.
D.
D.
Excuse me but who is "you and your crew"? And noone can make anyone leave this board. That is their choice. Funny how when someone wants to attack , most of the time it is someone we know...but on this board they choose to not sign in.....lol
hi folks-
feel like i should join in too here,i had spent much time on the 'pain pill' board which is where i learned that august had so much good to say. there was at the time ( and apparently still is) so much drama and conflict on the 'pain pill' board .... i was so grateful that this maijuana board came to be and that the moderators asked august to keep his input. and he has and is and it's great. i post seldom. my story goes on and on but when i read august's posts i am inspired.
too bad he didn't want to hang with the pain pill board but he didn't and we can't speculate why.... you should know though as folks who are devoted to their recovery that august is extremely down-to-earth and his experience and expression speak wonders.
please take your conflicts and your whoopla somewhere else. i hung on your board for a long time and compare this board as more mellow as is the nature of the problem. little drama or conflict... as 'stoners' i bet most folks hardly care about your back and forths.. lol but true. please leave august alone or we will lose him and we need him.
amen!
jane
feel like i should join in too here,i had spent much time on the 'pain pill' board which is where i learned that august had so much good to say. there was at the time ( and apparently still is) so much drama and conflict on the 'pain pill' board .... i was so grateful that this maijuana board came to be and that the moderators asked august to keep his input. and he has and is and it's great. i post seldom. my story goes on and on but when i read august's posts i am inspired.
too bad he didn't want to hang with the pain pill board but he didn't and we can't speculate why.... you should know though as folks who are devoted to their recovery that august is extremely down-to-earth and his experience and expression speak wonders.
please take your conflicts and your whoopla somewhere else. i hung on your board for a long time and compare this board as more mellow as is the nature of the problem. little drama or conflict... as 'stoners' i bet most folks hardly care about your back and forths.. lol but true. please leave august alone or we will lose him and we need him.
amen!
jane
August
I just wanted to say, your selfless act of replying to my message, to help a total stranger was the catalyst that gave me the courage to stop. You made a big difference in my life.
Thanks you, dont stop helping on the account of a few
I just wanted to say, your selfless act of replying to my message, to help a total stranger was the catalyst that gave me the courage to stop. You made a big difference in my life.
Thanks you, dont stop helping on the account of a few
Respect.
August:
You are a very wise man with so much to offer. I respect your decision and I completely understand it. It seems as if egos are going crazy right now. I for one, get annoyed with the drama on the pill board, the dirty laundry from outside issues and outside sites and the players as well. The "we're best friends, now we hate each other" aspect. I concur with None, respect.
Love,
Rachel
You are a very wise man with so much to offer. I respect your decision and I completely understand it. It seems as if egos are going crazy right now. I for one, get annoyed with the drama on the pill board, the dirty laundry from outside issues and outside sites and the players as well. The "we're best friends, now we hate each other" aspect. I concur with None, respect.
Love,
Rachel
why does this always happen? if august wants to be left alone, why not leave him alone? i'm sure i have made you mad but i really don't care. can't he be left alone, if he so choses to be.
raerae
raerae
