what Tim said !!!
hi dani, how r u doing? hope all is well
Tim, Jack & Lost,
So funny that you said that Tim. The insanity comment. He used to say that exact sentence to me. A few of our mutual friends have told me recently that he has been with her all the time. I guess they are keeping each other "clean". My heart is broken, but I will get over it. I have been through much worse. I survived the death of my Mom and she was my best friend.
I wonder if Lost is right though. What are the odds that TWO recovering heroin addicts will both stay clean? I mean I don't wish any bad luck to them, but it sure seems to me that they are now in a co-dependant situation. Something they advise against in NA don't they? I really thought that if he left me, he would need to be alone for a while. Man, was I wrong!
Thank you so much for your responses guys, I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. HEY and I went out on a date with a really nice guy! Some sparks did fly but I am not jumping into ANYTHING at all. Just wanted to update you guys!
LOVE YOU ALL
Danie
So funny that you said that Tim. The insanity comment. He used to say that exact sentence to me. A few of our mutual friends have told me recently that he has been with her all the time. I guess they are keeping each other "clean". My heart is broken, but I will get over it. I have been through much worse. I survived the death of my Mom and she was my best friend.
I wonder if Lost is right though. What are the odds that TWO recovering heroin addicts will both stay clean? I mean I don't wish any bad luck to them, but it sure seems to me that they are now in a co-dependant situation. Something they advise against in NA don't they? I really thought that if he left me, he would need to be alone for a while. Man, was I wrong!
Thank you so much for your responses guys, I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. HEY and I went out on a date with a really nice guy! Some sparks did fly but I am not jumping into ANYTHING at all. Just wanted to update you guys!
LOVE YOU ALL
Danie
What are the odds that TWO recovering heroin addicts will both stay clean?
No different than any of the rest of us but the problem is that they are newly sober jumping into a relationship that is not suggested for anyone during their first year.But let's call this what it is.Lust.Two needy addicts falling in lust without the experience of any sobriety.
We're all human and sex is part of that equation.But the same chemicals you get from a good shot of smack or Oxy's are the same chemicals firing off when you have sex.Our bodies produce everything that drugs do.
I also think it's normal for newly recovering addicts to look for any distraction that will delay the inevitable......taking a good look at ourselves.This happens all the time.I've been guilty of it myself.You get a group of people together and it happens.If they relapse,hopefully a lesson will be learned.
I wasn't able to start working on myself and the steps until I was hurting.Either through lonliness or just sick and tired of repeating the same mistakes over and over.It's a process and it takes time.I don't wish anyone to relapse but that senario is a reliable recipe for disaster.I doubt either have a sponsor either but taking their inventory is not my business.
I just hope you will be able to learn from this and get the help you need.You had a participation in it although it may not seem that way at the moment.That's not said to beat you up any more than you've already done but there is a lot of underlying dysfunction why you chose an addict.Maybe some Alanon meetings would be a good ideal.
Date awhile and learn what it's like to be friends first.I know,it's quite a concept but it will give you a great chance to start learning about you.
Good Luck to you.
No different than any of the rest of us but the problem is that they are newly sober jumping into a relationship that is not suggested for anyone during their first year.But let's call this what it is.Lust.Two needy addicts falling in lust without the experience of any sobriety.
We're all human and sex is part of that equation.But the same chemicals you get from a good shot of smack or Oxy's are the same chemicals firing off when you have sex.Our bodies produce everything that drugs do.
I also think it's normal for newly recovering addicts to look for any distraction that will delay the inevitable......taking a good look at ourselves.This happens all the time.I've been guilty of it myself.You get a group of people together and it happens.If they relapse,hopefully a lesson will be learned.
I wasn't able to start working on myself and the steps until I was hurting.Either through lonliness or just sick and tired of repeating the same mistakes over and over.It's a process and it takes time.I don't wish anyone to relapse but that senario is a reliable recipe for disaster.I doubt either have a sponsor either but taking their inventory is not my business.
I just hope you will be able to learn from this and get the help you need.You had a participation in it although it may not seem that way at the moment.That's not said to beat you up any more than you've already done but there is a lot of underlying dysfunction why you chose an addict.Maybe some Alanon meetings would be a good ideal.
Date awhile and learn what it's like to be friends first.I know,it's quite a concept but it will give you a great chance to start learning about you.
Good Luck to you.
Hey Dani - Glad you are sounding much better. Guess a date with a really nice guy didn't hurt. Good for you. You sound smart enough to look before you leap.
Tim,
Your great. I know that I have a ton of work to do on myself. And yes, even though it hurts to read, it probably is LUST cause we fought many times about sex when he was high as kite cause he never wanted it, now he's clean and I guess some other woman peaked his interest. I don't know about the chick he's with but I do know that he has a WONDERFUL sponsor. I have met him, great guy clean 30 or more years. I have a feeling this is it for him and that he is going to stay clean. She however is young so who knows? I just can't get over how he went from me to her OVERNIGHT. It hurts.
I have been to Alanon meetings. I learned that I probably was just co-dependant and needy of someone to "fix". He got clean and then dumped me. Period. I don't understand why his spomsor isn't warning him, I know for a fact that alot of his close friends have warned him about a relationship so quick. His sponsor in fact told him that it not a good idea to break up with me so soon in recovery since we had been together for over 4 years. Most of which he was high.
who knows, i just know that i am a really good person. i deserve so much better than what he gave me. I keep feeling like this girl got some prize when really she didn't.
LOVE YOU
Danie
Your great. I know that I have a ton of work to do on myself. And yes, even though it hurts to read, it probably is LUST cause we fought many times about sex when he was high as kite cause he never wanted it, now he's clean and I guess some other woman peaked his interest. I don't know about the chick he's with but I do know that he has a WONDERFUL sponsor. I have met him, great guy clean 30 or more years. I have a feeling this is it for him and that he is going to stay clean. She however is young so who knows? I just can't get over how he went from me to her OVERNIGHT. It hurts.
I have been to Alanon meetings. I learned that I probably was just co-dependant and needy of someone to "fix". He got clean and then dumped me. Period. I don't understand why his spomsor isn't warning him, I know for a fact that alot of his close friends have warned him about a relationship so quick. His sponsor in fact told him that it not a good idea to break up with me so soon in recovery since we had been together for over 4 years. Most of which he was high.
who knows, i just know that i am a really good person. i deserve so much better than what he gave me. I keep feeling like this girl got some prize when really she didn't.
LOVE YOU
Danie
she truly didnt.
That's right.He did and got what he got.If he's not listening to his sponsor then he's already in relapse mode.We all come in here thinking we're unique.The rules and steps don't apply to us but they're a great concept for everyone else.
He will do it his way until the pain either makes him use or hopefully get a grip and realize another toxic relationship isn't going to heal him.
Regardless,you take care of yourself.You have your whole life ahead of you and this is just a painful reminder that another person is not going to fix you.
He will do it his way until the pain either makes him use or hopefully get a grip and realize another toxic relationship isn't going to heal him.
Regardless,you take care of yourself.You have your whole life ahead of you and this is just a painful reminder that another person is not going to fix you.
