I am suffering at present i made a phone call to my supplier and now i wish i wouldnt have he will be knocking at the door in a little bit and the cycle will start all over. I am feeling hopeless i made it three days what made today so bad and so diffrent from all of the others why did i give in to temptation.
Two days ago you wrote that you wouldn't be using again after your b/f got arrested because you didn't have a connection.
I sure didn't take you long to find one. Get real with yourself. You're buying a one-way ticket to hell, and it appears to be the express.
I sure didn't take you long to find one. Get real with yourself. You're buying a one-way ticket to hell, and it appears to be the express.
i was wondering what happened to you? well it looks like your bf got exactly what he wanted, a using buddy. i am sorry to hear about your decision, but it is your decision. are you just sitting home with your kids doing drugs alone? if that is the case i think you are in SERIOUS trouble. let me know how you are, i woln't be around to much this weekend but i will be looking for you want to talk. please let me know how you are. angela
Hey Jreese,
I have been following you story. I usually lurk here on the meth board. Someone I care about very much is wrapped up in this hell.
Now I have read that this is kinda you first go around, and already it is trying to snatch you up.Look it isn't worth it. You see now a few lines and you are becoming the drug. You have children to think about. A life to think about....
Many, many moons ago, this sweet handsome guy presented this to me while I was cramming for exams. He told me everything would be fine. Well back then I would try anything once, if I didn't like it then I wouldn't do it again.
The hell I found was nothing like I have ever experienced. I was basically chained to it instantly because of life then. I went on a 5 day binge, where I didn't sleep, didn't eat. I kept crashing when I needed to be up and taking exams. By the end of it I was praying to just die, because the insanity wouldn't shut down. The thoughts were constant, nothing ever stopped. I crashed hard, lost a day or two and was sick a week or so after......From one time, it took me right to hell. Please, please stop now, before it totally consumes you and you lose sight of the many special, precious things you have in life now.
If you need more convincing, read the board, the lives this drug took (some still breathing, but yet dead inside to everything), the sorrow, the pain....It is so present in the posts.
I am sending prayers, lots of them, may you find youe way out of hell.....
Love,
Tina
I have been following you story. I usually lurk here on the meth board. Someone I care about very much is wrapped up in this hell.
Now I have read that this is kinda you first go around, and already it is trying to snatch you up.Look it isn't worth it. You see now a few lines and you are becoming the drug. You have children to think about. A life to think about....
Many, many moons ago, this sweet handsome guy presented this to me while I was cramming for exams. He told me everything would be fine. Well back then I would try anything once, if I didn't like it then I wouldn't do it again.
The hell I found was nothing like I have ever experienced. I was basically chained to it instantly because of life then. I went on a 5 day binge, where I didn't sleep, didn't eat. I kept crashing when I needed to be up and taking exams. By the end of it I was praying to just die, because the insanity wouldn't shut down. The thoughts were constant, nothing ever stopped. I crashed hard, lost a day or two and was sick a week or so after......From one time, it took me right to hell. Please, please stop now, before it totally consumes you and you lose sight of the many special, precious things you have in life now.
If you need more convincing, read the board, the lives this drug took (some still breathing, but yet dead inside to everything), the sorrow, the pain....It is so present in the posts.
I am sending prayers, lots of them, may you find youe way out of hell.....
Love,
Tina
I ENDED UP FEELING REALY BAD ABOUT THE DECISION THAT I MADE SO I LEFT MY HOUSE SO I WOULDNT BE HERE WHEN HE SHOWED UP. I FELL I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE IN THE END. I AM DOING GOOD I HAVE BEEN HOME ALONE ALL DAY SO I SLEPT MOST OF IT AND WROTE A LETTER TO MY B/F. HE IS GOING TO BE ENROLLING IN AN 18MNTH DRUG REHAB PROGRAM AND HAS FINALY DECIDED HE WANTS TO GET CLEAN FOR REAL SO I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO STAY STRONG FOR HIM. WE ARE PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED NEXT MNTH.
JREESE this is for you today --
PRAYER OF AFFIRMATION
I am loved by God;
I am made by God;
I am forgiven by God;
I am accepted by God unconditionally;
I am a child of God;
I am sustained by God;
I am important to God;
I am used by God;
I am enabled by God;
I am destined for God.
Amen.
Jreese,
I am so glad that you left. You may have very well saved you own life today. I wish you the best. Take good care of you and remember that anything in this life is possible. Never forget to live and to dream......
Love,
Tina
Nice post Bob, beautiful words, very simple, very true.....
Something that need to be printed and hung in plain sight.
I am so glad that you left. You may have very well saved you own life today. I wish you the best. Take good care of you and remember that anything in this life is possible. Never forget to live and to dream......
Love,
Tina
Nice post Bob, beautiful words, very simple, very true.....
Something that need to be printed and hung in plain sight.
Hey J Reese, Im so proud of you that you left your house insteads of waiting for the dealer to come over. I hope things go well for you.
Keep in touch with us.
Karen
Keep in touch with us.
Karen
im doing good i took my daughter to 6 flags yesterday and we had a good time i was exhausted by the end of the day but we had fun. I didint talk to my b/f yesterday the first day he has been in jail that he didnt call it concerns me but im sure hes ok. i am back at work know and have made a promise to myself to start focusing on myself my job school and my kids i am going to be ok and thats is great news.
jreese, i am really glad you have your head back on straight, sounds like your back on track! keep posting and take care of yourself. good luck with everything!
THANK YOU ANGELA 99 I AM DOING GREAT MY CAR IS GETTING FIXED AND EVERYTHING IS LOOKING UP. I DO STILL GO SEE MY FIANCE WE ARE GETTING MARRIED NEXT MNTH. HE IS DOING BETTER ALSO I CAN TELL HE IS THE ONE THAT I AM TALKING TO AT PRESENT AND NOT THE DRUG HOPEFULLY OVER THE NEXT YEAR OR SO HE WILL REALIZE THAT HE WANTS TO REMAIN HIMSELF AND NOT TURN BACK INTO THE ADDICT HE WAS. HE THREATEN TO LEAVE ME IF I DIDNT STOP USING HE NEEDS MY SUPPORT AND HELP WITH HIS PROBLEM AND I CANT DO THAT IF I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM. THANK YOU FOR FALLOWING MY STORY AND GIVING ME SOMEONE TO TALK TO I NEEDED THAT I WILL POST EVERYONCE IN A WHILE ESPIACILLY IF I AM FEELING DOWN
JENNIFER
JENNIFER
Remember to put yourself first , b/c if you're not well you can't possible take care of your children Also remember to take "one day at a time" there is no rush to do anything. Maybe try going to a few meeting and get yourslef a sponser for times like a few days ago. It took alot of strenght to leave like you did. Also are thier going to be family session at the treatment you fiance is going to ? If so, GO and get involved. But make sure YOU ARE FIRST!! Now is a great time for you to be selfish (in a good way) be there for your kids.
Jennifer
Jennifer
THANK YOU JENNY I DONT KNOW ALOT ABOUT THE PROGRAM IT HASNT EVEN BEEN FINALIZE THAT THATS WHERE HE WILL BE GOING ITS ACTAULLY FAIRLY EXPENSIVE HIS MOM THINKS SHE CAN AFFORD IT BUT I TOLD HER UP FRONT I COULDNT. I RECOMENDED A STATE PRGRAM SOMETHING THAT THE COURT WOULD SEND HIM TO INSTEAD OF SITTING IN A PRISON CELL HE WOULD BE DOING SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE FOR HIMSELF AT THE SAME TIME.
I total understand!! My husband in currently in jail and I know there are a few state programs that he can try to get into. Our problem is that he didn't get a drug charge and sometimes in order to get into those program thats what you need. Does not make since considering he has a felony theft charge he was stealing money from his work to get drugs so isn't that still a drug problem. But you know how the Criminal Justice system is! I told him if he can't get into that then when he gets out he needs to go to long term inpatient treatment.
Good luck!! Again good job by getting the H*** out of the house.
YOU ARE # 1
\Jennifer
Good luck!! Again good job by getting the H*** out of the house.
YOU ARE # 1
\Jennifer
THANK YOU JENNY
YEAH MY FIANCE IS IN TROUBLE FOR EVADING BUT HE WAS CAUGHT WITH SOME PILLS NOT METH I HOPE HE WILL BE ABLE TO GO INTO A DRUG PROGRAM FOR METH I AM NOT SURE WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO TO HIM HIS COURT DATE IS TOMOROW AND I AM NOT GOING TO GET TO BE THERE THAT REALLY UPSETS ME I HOPE HE WILL UNDERSTAND.
YEAH MY FIANCE IS IN TROUBLE FOR EVADING BUT HE WAS CAUGHT WITH SOME PILLS NOT METH I HOPE HE WILL BE ABLE TO GO INTO A DRUG PROGRAM FOR METH I AM NOT SURE WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO TO HIM HIS COURT DATE IS TOMOROW AND I AM NOT GOING TO GET TO BE THERE THAT REALLY UPSETS ME I HOPE HE WILL UNDERSTAND.
ALso, look into that sad day when you made the phone... Was anything going on that made you feel you had no other choice? Were you sad, mad, bored etc?? Maybe then you can look into what triggers you.
I am not an addict but I think if you know your triggers you can prevent them.
Just a suggestion!!!
Good luck
Jennifer
I am not an addict but I think if you know your triggers you can prevent them.
Just a suggestion!!!
Good luck
Jennifer
hi jennifer, i am really glad you are doing well! i will look on this board for you if you are still going to be around. take care of yourself!
one more thing, you said you are getting married next month? do you mean while he is in jail?
one more thing, you said you are getting married next month? do you mean while he is in jail?
Hi angela--
OH there are too many Jennifer's. I think you have me confused with the other Jennifer. Me, I am married and have been for four long years. He just went to jail. funny thing instead of marrying, like the other Jennifer, I am filing for divorce. Had it up to eyeballs with his crap. I would NEVER marry into this misery!!!!
I think I will start signing
Jenny
OH there are too many Jennifer's. I think you have me confused with the other Jennifer. Me, I am married and have been for four long years. He just went to jail. funny thing instead of marrying, like the other Jennifer, I am filing for divorce. Had it up to eyeballs with his crap. I would NEVER marry into this misery!!!!
I think I will start signing
Jenny
yeah i am the jennifer that is getting married into the crap i am having my doubts but i hope after the required drug rehab for a year and the pen that he will have decided to straighten his life out. he says he is done that he wants to go to school and start a legit business we will see divorce is always an option as sad as that sounds
Jreese,
Don't marry him until you see him in school...completing what it is he wants to do and starting a business with his own money. Divorce is harder than getting married.
Keep in touch!
Don't marry him until you see him in school...completing what it is he wants to do and starting a business with his own money. Divorce is harder than getting married.
Keep in touch!
