i know i have been divorced already once. i know that him being married and having a family at home will make it easier on him as far as the court system so i want to do that for him. it is going to be hard for him to get sentenced to the drug rehab but i was told that if he had family support and proof that he has done what he has because of drugs that they would be more open to send him there. I cant aford it any other way and its what he really wants to do.
JReese,
I might be confused...are you already married to him? If not, read your post again. Who are you making it easier for?????
I might be confused...are you already married to him? If not, read your post again. Who are you making it easier for?????
no i am not i would be making it easier for him to get the help that he needs. thats crazy i know but when i first met him he was clean and working i dont know what happened to him that just made him flip out and go back to the drugs but he hasnt ever had support from a family and i want to be that for him and i can concentrate on myself and my kids for the next 2 years that hes gone and still have that commitment to him. i sound insane i can just imagine what everyone that hears this s*** thinks but i love him very much and would do anything almost for him. the first time i saw him i told myself we would be togethor and thats what i have gotten with the good and the bad to go along with it.
JReese,
I didn't mean to jump on you, but it does sound crazy. However, I don't want to judge you or him. I truly hope he does well for him and you do well for you and that it works for you together. I guess that if you attend al anon meetings during this time, you will be pretty strong when he gets out. Same for him.
Let us know at the days unfold.
I didn't mean to jump on you, but it does sound crazy. However, I don't want to judge you or him. I truly hope he does well for him and you do well for you and that it works for you together. I guess that if you attend al anon meetings during this time, you will be pretty strong when he gets out. Same for him.
Let us know at the days unfold.
J Reese
It sounds like you are doing alot for him.. What are you doing for yourself?
I was thinking about you eariler...How are you doing??? Just remember you can't do it for him, he has made his bed and he needs to lay in it. What about becoming his common law wife, then you wouldn't have all the marriage papers and you can still be "his wife". Also getting married is supposed to be special. I am not judging or anything,,lords knows I should not even talk b/c look at my screwed up marriage, but I am here as a friend to tell you to look at the big picture, not just him. There are your kids, they should be first!!
I just don't want you to rush into anything
A friend--
Jenny
It sounds like you are doing alot for him.. What are you doing for yourself?
I was thinking about you eariler...How are you doing??? Just remember you can't do it for him, he has made his bed and he needs to lay in it. What about becoming his common law wife, then you wouldn't have all the marriage papers and you can still be "his wife". Also getting married is supposed to be special. I am not judging or anything,,lords knows I should not even talk b/c look at my screwed up marriage, but I am here as a friend to tell you to look at the big picture, not just him. There are your kids, they should be first!!
I just don't want you to rush into anything
A friend--
Jenny
JENNY
I AM STARTING TO SCHOOL FULL TIME IN AUGUST ON A FULL GRANT AND I AM COACHING A CHEERLEADING TEAM THAT MY DAUGHTER IS ON. I DO ALOT FOR MYSELF AND MY KIDS. I TAKE ONE NIGHT OUT OF THE WEEK AND GO VISIT HIM HE IS ABOUT 30 MINUTES AWAY AND TAKE 15 MINUTES EVERY OTHER NIGHT AND TALK TO HIM OVER THE PHONE I HAVE PUT MONEY ON HIS BOOKS BUT HIS MOM AND BROTHER ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE OVER MOST OF THAT RESPONSIBILITY. I WRITE HIM EVERY DAY AND HE WRITES BACK I DONT DO ALOT FOR HIM BUT IT IS MORE THAN HE HAS DONE FOR ME. I AM VERY STRONG AND INDEPENDANT I DONT NEED HIS HELP LIKE HE NEEDS MINE. I AM VERY OUT OF MY ELEMENTS AS FAR AS FEELINGS BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ATTATCHED TO ANYONE NOT EVEN FAMILY AS I DO TO HIM WELL BESIDES MY KIDS.
I AM STARTING TO SCHOOL FULL TIME IN AUGUST ON A FULL GRANT AND I AM COACHING A CHEERLEADING TEAM THAT MY DAUGHTER IS ON. I DO ALOT FOR MYSELF AND MY KIDS. I TAKE ONE NIGHT OUT OF THE WEEK AND GO VISIT HIM HE IS ABOUT 30 MINUTES AWAY AND TAKE 15 MINUTES EVERY OTHER NIGHT AND TALK TO HIM OVER THE PHONE I HAVE PUT MONEY ON HIS BOOKS BUT HIS MOM AND BROTHER ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE OVER MOST OF THAT RESPONSIBILITY. I WRITE HIM EVERY DAY AND HE WRITES BACK I DONT DO ALOT FOR HIM BUT IT IS MORE THAN HE HAS DONE FOR ME. I AM VERY STRONG AND INDEPENDANT I DONT NEED HIS HELP LIKE HE NEEDS MINE. I AM VERY OUT OF MY ELEMENTS AS FAR AS FEELINGS BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ATTATCHED TO ANYONE NOT EVEN FAMILY AS I DO TO HIM WELL BESIDES MY KIDS.
I totally understand. The love I have for my husband is overwhelming, even though he keeps hurting me, I keep loving. Doesn't make sense!! I didn't know how active you were. Cheerleading, just the word brings back great high school memories. Good times!!
Mine just got moved from the holding cell to where he can start writing. I am looking forward to seeing what he has to say. He called once sincee hehas been there b/c our phone won't allow jail calls to come through. So I haven't talked to him in a week.
You're in my thoughts
Jenny
Mine just got moved from the holding cell to where he can start writing. I am looking forward to seeing what he has to say. He called once sincee hehas been there b/c our phone won't allow jail calls to come through. So I haven't talked to him in a week.
You're in my thoughts
Jenny
Jenny123,
If it isn't too personal, can you tell me how your husband ended up in jail?
If it isn't too personal, can you tell me how your husband ended up in jail?
YEah no problem---
My husband was working for a construction company for about 3 years. I had always found pawn tickets of things, like chainsaws, stuff like that. He always told me that he was pawning things for his boss. Like a space cadet I believed him. What was I thinking???
Anyway he final charges turned out to be Credit card Abuse (state jail felony) apparently he used the company debit card to make withdrawal around town. He also might have another charge regauding pawning stolen equipment. But we haven't seen that one go through. So I don't know if he will get charged for it.
Jenny
My husband was working for a construction company for about 3 years. I had always found pawn tickets of things, like chainsaws, stuff like that. He always told me that he was pawning things for his boss. Like a space cadet I believed him. What was I thinking???
Anyway he final charges turned out to be Credit card Abuse (state jail felony) apparently he used the company debit card to make withdrawal around town. He also might have another charge regauding pawning stolen equipment. But we haven't seen that one go through. So I don't know if he will get charged for it.
Jenny
If it isn't one thing...it's another, right. Thanks for sharing. Mine hasn't been caught at anything, but I have always wondered if something would pop up out of the blue!
Why try --
The funny thing, well not funny, but you know what I mean. Anyway the funny thing is like I said before I saw the pawn tickets, I saw the extra money, I just never saw the drug use. His lies were BAD, I mean my four year old could have come up with better and I believed all of them. He could have told me that aliens came down from outer space and that's why it took him three hours to get gas. I me, I am like... really? I can't wait to see that on the news. LOL Looking back how could I have not known. WHAT WAS I THINKING???
I can't believe how stupid the lies were!! I can;t believe I fell for them.
LOL
JEnny
The funny thing, well not funny, but you know what I mean. Anyway the funny thing is like I said before I saw the pawn tickets, I saw the extra money, I just never saw the drug use. His lies were BAD, I mean my four year old could have come up with better and I believed all of them. He could have told me that aliens came down from outer space and that's why it took him three hours to get gas. I me, I am like... really? I can't wait to see that on the news. LOL Looking back how could I have not known. WHAT WAS I THINKING???
I can't believe how stupid the lies were!! I can;t believe I fell for them.
LOL
JEnny
JENNY 123
YEAH I HAVE TALKED TO MY GUY ONCE A DAY AND GONE TO SEE HIM A COUPLE OF TIMES HE ACTAULLY JUST CALLED TO TELL ME THAT HE GOT MY LETTERS AND HE WOULD SEND ME A COUPLE IN RETURN. WE GET CUT OFF ALOT ON THE COLLECT CALLS BECAUSE OF MY WORK PHONE BUT AT LEAST I GET TO TALK TO HIM I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I DONT HEAR FROM HERE FOR A WHOLE WEEK. HE IS VERY PERSISTANT ABOUT THE MARRIAGE THING AND TELLING ME HE LOVES ME I AM HOLDING TO MY GUNS ON WAITING KNOW BUT HE SEEMED VERY HURT BY THAT BUT TOLD ME THAT WAS FINE IF THATS WHAT I WANTED TO DO. I THINK I HAVE TOLD THE STORY ABOUT HOW MY GUY ENDED UP IN JAIL AGAIN. BUT JUST IN CASE YALL DONT KNOW. HE WAS OUT ON PROBATION FOR 3MNTHS DOING GOOD THEN HE HAD A DIRTY UA SO HE STARTED RUNNING AT FIRST HE WAS VERY CATOIUSE AND GOT CLEAN WOULDNT LEAVE THE HOUSE UNLESS IT WAS TO WORK SO ON. AFTER A FEW WEEKS HE STARTED TELLING HIS FRIENDS WHERE WE WERE STAYING AND HANGING OUT WITH THEM AND SELLING AND USING AGAIN HEAVILY SO HE TOOK MY CAR ONE NIGHT WITHOUT PERMISION AFTER WE HAD TO MOVE BECAUSE THE COPS KEPT COMING BY LOOKING FOR HIM. OK BACK TO THE POINT HE TOOK THE CAR AND DIDNT SIGNAL WHEN HE WAS TURNING SO A COP TRIED TO PULL HIM OVER HE RAN BECAUSE HE HAD ICE AND OTHER DRUGS ON HIM WELL HE SWALLOWED 2GRAMS OF ICE AND GOT CAUGHT WITH THE REST AND IN THE PROCESS BLEW THE ENGINE IN MY CAR. HE IS LOOKING AT 2 YEARS IN THE PEN AND A YEAR IN DRUG REHAB.
YEAH I HAVE TALKED TO MY GUY ONCE A DAY AND GONE TO SEE HIM A COUPLE OF TIMES HE ACTAULLY JUST CALLED TO TELL ME THAT HE GOT MY LETTERS AND HE WOULD SEND ME A COUPLE IN RETURN. WE GET CUT OFF ALOT ON THE COLLECT CALLS BECAUSE OF MY WORK PHONE BUT AT LEAST I GET TO TALK TO HIM I DONT KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO IF I DONT HEAR FROM HERE FOR A WHOLE WEEK. HE IS VERY PERSISTANT ABOUT THE MARRIAGE THING AND TELLING ME HE LOVES ME I AM HOLDING TO MY GUNS ON WAITING KNOW BUT HE SEEMED VERY HURT BY THAT BUT TOLD ME THAT WAS FINE IF THATS WHAT I WANTED TO DO. I THINK I HAVE TOLD THE STORY ABOUT HOW MY GUY ENDED UP IN JAIL AGAIN. BUT JUST IN CASE YALL DONT KNOW. HE WAS OUT ON PROBATION FOR 3MNTHS DOING GOOD THEN HE HAD A DIRTY UA SO HE STARTED RUNNING AT FIRST HE WAS VERY CATOIUSE AND GOT CLEAN WOULDNT LEAVE THE HOUSE UNLESS IT WAS TO WORK SO ON. AFTER A FEW WEEKS HE STARTED TELLING HIS FRIENDS WHERE WE WERE STAYING AND HANGING OUT WITH THEM AND SELLING AND USING AGAIN HEAVILY SO HE TOOK MY CAR ONE NIGHT WITHOUT PERMISION AFTER WE HAD TO MOVE BECAUSE THE COPS KEPT COMING BY LOOKING FOR HIM. OK BACK TO THE POINT HE TOOK THE CAR AND DIDNT SIGNAL WHEN HE WAS TURNING SO A COP TRIED TO PULL HIM OVER HE RAN BECAUSE HE HAD ICE AND OTHER DRUGS ON HIM WELL HE SWALLOWED 2GRAMS OF ICE AND GOT CAUGHT WITH THE REST AND IN THE PROCESS BLEW THE ENGINE IN MY CAR. HE IS LOOKING AT 2 YEARS IN THE PEN AND A YEAR IN DRUG REHAB.
That sounds like the cop videos! If you are running from the cops...you are guilty! Drugs will get you.
J Reese I remember when you first posted. It was recently b/c that's when my BS started. In a way I think it has been easier not to hear from him. What I am saying. is when he did finally call I was so mad that all I did was cry the rest of the night. And believe me I am tried of crying. So by not talking to him I have been able to focus on ME and my kids. But then again I haven't received his first letter yet, so I don't know what I will feel then. I will definatly post those feelings when I get it. LOL I have been busy in the past week b/c I have looking for an apartment and re doing my bills BLAH BLAH BLAH. I think I have been wanting to leave for a long time but this actually gave me the push I needed. I can't say for sure if I am leaving, but for now I am getting an apartment. I wish you all the best, good job by staying away from the Sh**. It took have killed you. You are better then that!
SMILEs AND HUGS
Jenny
SMILEs AND HUGS
Jenny
THANKS JENNY
JUST HAVING A PLACE TO VENT AND SOMEONE TO RESPOND HAS HELPED ME ALOT. I HAVENT CRIED YET. THE HARDEST THING FOR ME WAS GOING TO VISIT HIM AND HIM BEING BEHIND GLASS HAVING NO PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH HIM. I JUST DONT THINK I AM ANGRY ENOUGH WITH HIM BUT IN A WAY I AM THANKFULL IT HASNT GOTTEN THERE WITH US YET. KEEP ME UPDATED ON YOU AND HOW YOU ARE.
YOUR FRIEND
JENNIFER
JUST HAVING A PLACE TO VENT AND SOMEONE TO RESPOND HAS HELPED ME ALOT. I HAVENT CRIED YET. THE HARDEST THING FOR ME WAS GOING TO VISIT HIM AND HIM BEING BEHIND GLASS HAVING NO PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH HIM. I JUST DONT THINK I AM ANGRY ENOUGH WITH HIM BUT IN A WAY I AM THANKFULL IT HASNT GOTTEN THERE WITH US YET. KEEP ME UPDATED ON YOU AND HOW YOU ARE.
YOUR FRIEND
JENNIFER
Jennfier
I don't think I could visit him. You have a lot of strenght. I wouldn'tr know how or what I would say. Right now it's easier not to see him. See it's weird b/c I don't even know what I am feeling. I want to be mad at him and hate him for doing this to me. Then when I start getting mad I then start feeling sorry for him, like I am all he has and he is sick. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have no idea what I am going to do. One minute I love and the next I hate. Have you heard on any court dates or any news on whats going to happen?? We don't know anything, we are in Texas and apparently jails are backed up, he probably won't be able to go to court for a couple months. He hasn't even talked to a court appointed attornel!!! Where are you?? It nice to have someone who understands.
Jenny
I don't think I could visit him. You have a lot of strenght. I wouldn'tr know how or what I would say. Right now it's easier not to see him. See it's weird b/c I don't even know what I am feeling. I want to be mad at him and hate him for doing this to me. Then when I start getting mad I then start feeling sorry for him, like I am all he has and he is sick. I guess what I am trying to say is that I have no idea what I am going to do. One minute I love and the next I hate. Have you heard on any court dates or any news on whats going to happen?? We don't know anything, we are in Texas and apparently jails are backed up, he probably won't be able to go to court for a couple months. He hasn't even talked to a court appointed attornel!!! Where are you?? It nice to have someone who understands.
Jenny
good morning ladies, jennifer please think again about marrying this gut while he is in jail? what is the point? if he loves you he can wait to marry you when he gets out,period the end.he is pressureing you cause he is probally thinking you will wise up and find a new guy. do you really want to have your wedding story come from prision??? can't being engaged be enough for you both right now? wait it out. you said he will be away for 3 years? well people change alot in 3 years, wait and make sure you all change together.
angela 99
thank you for your concern and i have thought alot about it. i am strongly considering and actually leaning in that direction to wait untill he is out.
Jenny 123
we are in dallas texas. i have heard that his court date is another 8wks away because of the back up. I am the same i want to be angry with him for what he did to me and my car but i cant i feel he needs me more and i am stronger than him so i can strugle through this. Every time i talk to him he reconfirms that he loves me and is sorry but who knows if thats just jail talk. Last night he asked me again when are we gonna get married and i told him it would have been alot easier for me to digest the thought of marriage if we had talked more seriusely about it before hand but it was just talk then and know he is seriuse about it. i totally agree that its great to have someone that understands at least half way the cituation.. Did you ever use with him i cant remember, if this is something you may have refered to already but i am wondering.
thank you for your concern and i have thought alot about it. i am strongly considering and actually leaning in that direction to wait untill he is out.
Jenny 123
we are in dallas texas. i have heard that his court date is another 8wks away because of the back up. I am the same i want to be angry with him for what he did to me and my car but i cant i feel he needs me more and i am stronger than him so i can strugle through this. Every time i talk to him he reconfirms that he loves me and is sorry but who knows if thats just jail talk. Last night he asked me again when are we gonna get married and i told him it would have been alot easier for me to digest the thought of marriage if we had talked more seriusely about it before hand but it was just talk then and know he is seriuse about it. i totally agree that its great to have someone that understands at least half way the cituation.. Did you ever use with him i cant remember, if this is something you may have refered to already but i am wondering.
I am in Austin, TX. We are neighbors!!!! No, I have never tried anything other then pot years ago. All that did was make me really tried. Occassionally I will have a drink but nothing to serious. Never really had the urge. But I know can admit that I am probalby addicted to him!! I don't know which is more painful. Since you talk to yours maybe you can ask him or answer me if you alreay know. It may sound stupid but it's eating me up..... its he hurting now? I know I am and I haven't received a letter from him yet so I would like to know if he has any feelings. Not just he is in jail and lonely or whatever, I mean real sober feelings, like you and I would have. I don't know, I don't even think that is possible to answer. My parents live in Plano (well, Frisco), I make it up there often. Glad to know you are close. Anyway, how are you doing??? How did you address your kids?? Mine are young 4 and 7months so I basically told them that Daddy did something wrong and he is in an adult time out, but loves you!! Didn't know what else to say, but it seems to work and everyday I tell them before bedtime that he is thinking about them.
Jenny
Jenny
J reese
I just found out he sold my wedding ring!!! I posted on the F & F board, I am a little depressed right now. I don't know if AI should confront him, onlyto hear more lies. I am so tired and sad! I am reaaly struggling right now to keep my chin up.
Jenny
I just found out he sold my wedding ring!!! I posted on the F & F board, I am a little depressed right now. I don't know if AI should confront him, onlyto hear more lies. I am so tired and sad! I am reaaly struggling right now to keep my chin up.
Jenny
