J Reese....you will probably get lonely in the next 3 years anyway. His letters and friendship will be great and you can certianly be that for him. If he enrolls in school like he says....can they get education in jail...the courts will look more favorably on him anyway. Plus, I don't think courts really take the kids completely away anyway. I know my lawyer told me that mine would still have paternal rights....even though he could get high and abandon them or whatever.
J Reese...give yourself a chance to meet someone in the next 3 years. You are involved in other things...let nature take its course. You attracted him...you can attract many others....and if in 3 years you don't find someone...then deal with the new man you bf is. I think God has given you both a second chance to breathe! Use it girl!!!!! I have often wished I would get some kind of chance like that!
JENNY 123
HOW DID YOU FIND THAT OUT?
HOW DID YOU FIND THAT OUT?
Went home on my lunch break to fix a sandwich and started looking through his crap, and poof!! a f****ing pawn ticket. There are no pawn shops around where our house is so I looked at the address, it's in the worst part of town. So nowI can see it,
He is driving in our nice new car with two baby car seats in the back over to the dealers house. I even looked at his cell phone bills and I noticed a number kept popping up... so I called it, I don't know why but I did. Someone
answered adn I all could do was hang up. Immeditately after that his phone rings, he's in jail so who cares if I answer it, and someone said "JB?" (that's my husband name) I yelled no this is his wife and they hung up. So I can just imagine who that was. The loser who sells him that crap. I like I torture myself,
OHHHH Why has he done this!!!! I never excepted my life to have turned out like this. I came from a normal family, in a normal town, why of all people did I choose this guy???
Jenny
He is driving in our nice new car with two baby car seats in the back over to the dealers house. I even looked at his cell phone bills and I noticed a number kept popping up... so I called it, I don't know why but I did. Someone
answered adn I all could do was hang up. Immeditately after that his phone rings, he's in jail so who cares if I answer it, and someone said "JB?" (that's my husband name) I yelled no this is his wife and they hung up. So I can just imagine who that was. The loser who sells him that crap. I like I torture myself,
OHHHH Why has he done this!!!! I never excepted my life to have turned out like this. I came from a normal family, in a normal town, why of all people did I choose this guy???
Jenny
jenny 123,
I called one of those strange numbers and had a full conversation with the DumbA. He wasn't so dumb though. I played like I wanted whatever my husband wanted...He didn't fall for it. When I asked my husband who the guy was...he said it was someone he wanted to do weed work for his business. Nope....wrong....the guy was not that...I got that much out of the conversation with him. Now how far down do we have to go to be spying on our loved ones....do they have to spy on us??? No. It is over at that point for me. I am fried, done. The more I read and relive the things that I have gone through, the more awake I become.
Jenny123,
If there is anything that I can help you with...please let me know.
I called one of those strange numbers and had a full conversation with the DumbA. He wasn't so dumb though. I played like I wanted whatever my husband wanted...He didn't fall for it. When I asked my husband who the guy was...he said it was someone he wanted to do weed work for his business. Nope....wrong....the guy was not that...I got that much out of the conversation with him. Now how far down do we have to go to be spying on our loved ones....do they have to spy on us??? No. It is over at that point for me. I am fried, done. The more I read and relive the things that I have gone through, the more awake I become.
Jenny123,
If there is anything that I can help you with...please let me know.
JENNY 123 & WHY TRY
I HOPE YALL ARE HERE TODAY I AM REALLY IN NEED OF SOME CONVERSATION AND SUPPORT. TONY MY GUY CALLED ME AT 11:00 LAST NIGHT I WAS ASLEEP I ANSWERED THE PHONE ANY WAY I WAS IN A FINE MOOD WE TALKED FOR A MINUTE OR SO AND I ASKED HIM NOT TO CALL SO LATE. HE THEN EXPLAINED THAT THE GAME WAS ON SO HE WAS BUSY AND HE FLIPPED ON ME I DONT REALLY REMEMBER WHERE IT WENT FROM THERE BUT HE TOLD ME TO HANG UP THE PHONE ON HIM AND I DID. ITS LIKE ALL THE ANGER THAT I HAVE BEEN HOLDING IN JUST CAME OUT. I HUNG THE PHONE UP AND WENT RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP. I DIDNT EVEN REALY THINK ABOUT IT UNTILL I WOKE UP AND KNOW I AM STARTING TO FEEL GUILTY AND WORRIED THAT HE WONT CALL ME AT ALL ANY MORE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
I HOPE YALL ARE HERE TODAY I AM REALLY IN NEED OF SOME CONVERSATION AND SUPPORT. TONY MY GUY CALLED ME AT 11:00 LAST NIGHT I WAS ASLEEP I ANSWERED THE PHONE ANY WAY I WAS IN A FINE MOOD WE TALKED FOR A MINUTE OR SO AND I ASKED HIM NOT TO CALL SO LATE. HE THEN EXPLAINED THAT THE GAME WAS ON SO HE WAS BUSY AND HE FLIPPED ON ME I DONT REALLY REMEMBER WHERE IT WENT FROM THERE BUT HE TOLD ME TO HANG UP THE PHONE ON HIM AND I DID. ITS LIKE ALL THE ANGER THAT I HAVE BEEN HOLDING IN JUST CAME OUT. I HUNG THE PHONE UP AND WENT RIGHT BACK TO SLEEP. I DIDNT EVEN REALY THINK ABOUT IT UNTILL I WOKE UP AND KNOW I AM STARTING TO FEEL GUILTY AND WORRIED THAT HE WONT CALL ME AT ALL ANY MORE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.
YEAH ABOUT THE STRANGE #S I AM USING TONYS CELL PHONE AND LET HIS MOM USE MINE SO I AM GETTING ALL KINDS OF CRAZY CALLS PEOPLE LEAVING MESSAGE ASKING FOR DRUGS AND CALLING AT ALL TIMES OF THE NIGHT. THERE WAS A GIRL THAT CALLED I HAD IN THE PAST SUSPECTED HIM OF CHEATING WITH SHE SOUNDED VERY UPSET WHEN I TOL D HER WHO I WAS BUT I CAME OUT AND ASKED HER IF SHE HAD BEEN MESSING AROUND WITH HIM AND SHE SAID NO HE WAS JUST HER DEALER.
hey girl, mabye it isn't such a good idea that you answer his phone. can't you just turn it off and when you need it then turn it on? either way it has to have caller id, so you know if the person calling is for you. and Fuc* his dealer that called last night, who is he to flip on you???? when i see my old dealers # come up on my screen i hit the don't take call button right away, and if she leaves a message i que it up and delete it with out even listening to it. can't you do the same? why do you take his call when you are asleep? give it time soon they will stop calling don't you want that? surround yourself with positive things, do things a girl your age should be doing. not sitting around snorting speed staying up all night, if you can even sleep at all, dosn't that sound gross? go out and meet some healthy,in shape, responsible man not some little boy who crusies around at night looking 4 drugs in your now wrecked car. be strong
J Reese
Ohh Sweetie, I am here all day. I keep this website up all day at work. What was he bit***ing about??? I think he is trying to maniplate you. He is trying to break you down so he can still control you while he is in jail. I think he is scared sh**less that he is going to lose you. What's probably going through his mind is "Jennifer is going to wise up and leave my sorry butt".
Last night I was so hurt that I went thourgh all his cell phone bills and believe me they were some unrecognizable numbers. One night he called a certain number, I swear every minute for about four hours. Each call was 1 minute and the last was about 4 minutes. HMMMMMMM I wonder what he was calling for???? What a Dumba**!! Sorry about the language I am still a little mad!!
It like I know when I look through his stuff I am wrong and I will only get hurt, but like an idiot I keep doing it. Still can't believe my ring is sold.
Ohh Sweetie, I am here all day. I keep this website up all day at work. What was he bit***ing about??? I think he is trying to maniplate you. He is trying to break you down so he can still control you while he is in jail. I think he is scared sh**less that he is going to lose you. What's probably going through his mind is "Jennifer is going to wise up and leave my sorry butt".
Last night I was so hurt that I went thourgh all his cell phone bills and believe me they were some unrecognizable numbers. One night he called a certain number, I swear every minute for about four hours. Each call was 1 minute and the last was about 4 minutes. HMMMMMMM I wonder what he was calling for???? What a Dumba**!! Sorry about the language I am still a little mad!!
It like I know when I look through his stuff I am wrong and I will only get hurt, but like an idiot I keep doing it. Still can't believe my ring is sold.
ANGELA IT WAS MY B/F THAT CALLED LAST NIGHT WHEN I WAS SLEEPING HE IS THE ONE THAT I GOT INTO IT WITH AND HUNG UP ON NOT THE DEALER
THAT REALLY SUCKS ABOUT YOUR RING! I KEEP MINE PULLED UP ALL DAY AT WORK TO. I DONT RECALL WHAT HE WAS BITCHING ABOUT I JUST GOT SO ANGRY THAT HE HAD AN ATTITUDE WITH ME AFTER EVERYTHING I AM DOING FOR HIM I HUNG UP OF COURSE HE TOLD ME TO BUT MAN I WAS PISSED BEYOND BELIEF. HE TOLD ME THAT HE GOT MY LETTERS AND PICTURES AND THAT I WAS BEUTIFUL AND THEN HE JUST WENT OFF ON ME BECAUSE I ASKED HIM NOT TO CALL SO LATE I DONT UNDERSTAND. I SHOULD BE GETTING HIS LETTER TODAY AND THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS COMING INTO MY HEAD IS HE DOESNT MEAN ANYTHING HE WROTE THE DAY BEFORE BECAUSE WE GOT INTO A FIGHT LAST NIGHT. I AM STILL WORRIED ABOUT LOOSING HIM THERE IS NO WAY HE IS GOING TO LEAVE ME CONSIDERING ALL I AM DOING FOR HIM. SINCE HE HAS BEEN IN JAIL NO ONE HAS GONE TO SEE HIM BUT ME NOT EVEN HIS MOM. I AM LOOOSING IT I AM SO ANGRY AT PRESENT
JReese,
I am here today too. I've got my own freakish thing going on. I told you all that I have plans to leave August 15. I have put a down payment down on the apartment in another state where I have some friends and my lawyer advised me not to tell my husband until we are gone. Anyway, my husband came home and he is clean. He was up early this morning helping me clean for the open house we are having this weekend...I put our house up for sale 2 months ago. Anyway, he is shaking me up with this. I think he has a feeling something is up. He found the boxes I had in the car and asked..while I was asleep last night...what they were for. Well, no matter what, the house is for sale and we are moving. He forced me to say they were boxes so we could pack to move to our farm. He told me he loved me. I am so mad...because he is being the person I love. He is going to feed me enough BS to make me feel guilty about leaving. I have to keep reminding myself that his behavior is only temporary. I never want to hurt like he makes me hurt. WHAT is going on????
He is making me second guess myself. He even said he wished someone would watch the kids so that we could go away together alone. Now isn't this something that I would want to hear. Why is this happening now/???? It would be easier if he would go back to mister hateful.
I am here today too. I've got my own freakish thing going on. I told you all that I have plans to leave August 15. I have put a down payment down on the apartment in another state where I have some friends and my lawyer advised me not to tell my husband until we are gone. Anyway, my husband came home and he is clean. He was up early this morning helping me clean for the open house we are having this weekend...I put our house up for sale 2 months ago. Anyway, he is shaking me up with this. I think he has a feeling something is up. He found the boxes I had in the car and asked..while I was asleep last night...what they were for. Well, no matter what, the house is for sale and we are moving. He forced me to say they were boxes so we could pack to move to our farm. He told me he loved me. I am so mad...because he is being the person I love. He is going to feed me enough BS to make me feel guilty about leaving. I have to keep reminding myself that his behavior is only temporary. I never want to hurt like he makes me hurt. WHAT is going on????
He is making me second guess myself. He even said he wished someone would watch the kids so that we could go away together alone. Now isn't this something that I would want to hear. Why is this happening now/???? It would be easier if he would go back to mister hateful.
SO HOW LONG WAS HE GONE? HOW LONG HAS HE BEEN CLEAN? HAS HE HAD MOMENTS LIKE THESE BEFORE AND COMPLETLY DONE A TURN AROUND TO MR HATEFUL? I WOULD SAY THINK THINGS THROUGH AND GO WITH WHAT YOU KNOW AND NOT WHAT YOU FEEL. IF YOU KNOW THIS IS JUST A TEMP. THING THAN STICK TO YOUR GUNS AND FINISH THE PLANS YOU STARTED WHEN HE WASNT THERE FOR YOU. I HOPE THAT MAKES SINCE TO YOU I UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN JUST HOPE YOU DO.
That's the problem with letters. B/c they write them one day and soooo many things can happen in an hour. I wish I could tell you something, but I have noooooooo clue. Apparently you are a little nicer b/c you are seeing him, Right now I can't, and I have about $0.25 to my name until payday, so he is S.O.L. with any money on his books. I should receive his first letter next week sometime. Believe me when I get it I will be a totally different person. I would love to tell you to get the hell away and to do this or do that to him, but I understand love. The only reason I am moving is b/c I can't afford the house payments. Like I said he will probably get out in 2-3 vmonths and a lot can happen. Heck I might become this strong person that can wipes my hands clean of him, but then again I might fall back into his crap. I did tell him that the ONLY way he is coming home is that he enters treatment. He cried and said that he wanted to. So add another month to his jail time and he should be out in about 3-4 months. Again a lot can happen. I am soo confused, b/c one minute I am in love and the next I hate him. Right now I am just focusing on my kids. Talked to my mom yesterday, she has no clue where JB (husband) is I told her he moved out. I don't want to deal with that one yet. I am heading to Dallas (Frisco) in late July or Aug, I need to get away from all this craziness down here. It's sooooo hot, They said that the temp is going to be another day 100. Help I AM MELTING!!! :)
Hey Why try-
Sucks that our men do this to us, even worst it sucks that we allow them to do this to us. The second guessing, JB has this way of being the most hateful person in the world and turn around and say all the right things. All the words are mind games!!! Remember that.. Maybe you can try marriage counseling???? Would that be an option??
Jenny
Sucks that our men do this to us, even worst it sucks that we allow them to do this to us. The second guessing, JB has this way of being the most hateful person in the world and turn around and say all the right things. All the words are mind games!!! Remember that.. Maybe you can try marriage counseling???? Would that be an option??
Jenny
YEAH THATS WHAT WE GET FOR LIVING IN TEXAS MY CAR HAS A THERMOMETER IN IT AND IT READ 111 YESTERDAY IN THE DIRECT SUN THAT IS WAY TO HOT SAD TO SAY I DONT MIND THE HEAT TO MUCH UNTILL IT GETS TO THAT POINT. I AM DONG ALOT FOR MYSELF RIGHT KNOW AND AM FEELING PRETTY GOOD DESPITE THE SURCOMSTANCES I AM TANNING AND WORKING OUT I AM COACHING A CHEERLEADING TEAM THAT MY OLDER DAUGHTER IS ON AND JUST HAVING FUN. I STILL LONG FOR HIM AND WAIT FOR HIS CALLS IN THE EVENING BUT STAYING BUSY THROUGHOUT THE DAY IS REALLY HELPING. I START TO COLLEGE FULL TIME IN A COUPLE OF MNTHS THANKS TO A GRANT AND EVERYTHING BUT THE THING WITH HIM IS LOOKING UP FOR ME RIGHT KNOW BUT I AM NOT GOING TO LET GO OF HIM I JUST CANT. 3MNTHS WOW IS THAT LONG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO GET CLEAN I HEARD IT TAKES AT LEAST 6MNTHS TO A YEAR HE WAS ON METH WASNT HE. YOU SHOULD RECOMEND AN INHOUSE PROGRTAM TO HIM THAT LASTS A YEAR ITS ALONG TIME FOR HIM TO BE AWAY BUT IF HE IS SERIOUSE AND WANTS TO GET CLEAN HE WILL KNOW THATS WHAT IT TAKES. ADULT CHALLANGE OR LIFE CHALLANGE IS A GOOD DALLAS BASED PROGRAM.
I am an only child and my parents are very supportive...but they offer WAY too much help...the "told you so" kind of help. My Dad has always be a gentlemen to my husband and my husband is VERY jealous of my Dad. My mom on the other hand is just tolerant. She's bit**y any way about everything...and SOOOOO black and white and naive. She makes me crazy too. I hate hearing I told you so...it was inevitable. It hurts my feelings and belittes my decisions.
J Reese and Jenny thank you for your support. I am going with my gut. Patterns are Patterns....and someone says nothing changes if nothing changes.
Another option is to divorce him and stay in my great house and let him live at the farm 2 hours away. However, I don't think I am strong enough for that. I am running away...but I think to rebuild a different life. Is that bad??
J Reese and Jenny thank you for your support. I am going with my gut. Patterns are Patterns....and someone says nothing changes if nothing changes.
Another option is to divorce him and stay in my great house and let him live at the farm 2 hours away. However, I don't think I am strong enough for that. I am running away...but I think to rebuild a different life. Is that bad??
Jenny,
We did the marriage counseling thing. He said he was going to stop using...on his own. The counselor said give the farm thing a try...if it doesn't work...then move on. He also told me that only 6%of addicts get clean...and that is only with intense treatment and working AA AND going to counseling on a regular basis. 3 things to do to stay clean. My husband didn't offer to do that. He told the counselor he wanted the marriage to work. He did slow down his use...but he didn't quit. If he isn't quiting...my opinion is that it will get worse again.
We did the marriage counseling thing. He said he was going to stop using...on his own. The counselor said give the farm thing a try...if it doesn't work...then move on. He also told me that only 6%of addicts get clean...and that is only with intense treatment and working AA AND going to counseling on a regular basis. 3 things to do to stay clean. My husband didn't offer to do that. He told the counselor he wanted the marriage to work. He did slow down his use...but he didn't quit. If he isn't quiting...my opinion is that it will get worse again.
WHY TRY
IF YOU THINK THATS WHAT YOU TRULY WANT AND NEED TO BE HAPPY AND CONTINUE ON THEN THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR YOURSELF. MY PARENTS ARE THE SAME WAY THE DAY BEFORE ALL THE BS WENT DOWN WITH MY CAR MY MOM TOLD ME NOT TO LET HIM USE IT THAT IF HE GETS PULLED OVER OR SOMETHING IT WILL GET IMPOUNDED AND SHE WAS EXACTLY RIGHT AND I STILL GET THE I TOLDYOU SO. MY DAD STAYS OUT OF THINGS AND MY MOM AND HIM CONSTENTLY FIGHT BECAUSE HE STAYS OUT OF IT AND LETS ME AND HER GO AT IT. HE WONT PICK SIDES
IF YOU THINK THATS WHAT YOU TRULY WANT AND NEED TO BE HAPPY AND CONTINUE ON THEN THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FOR YOURSELF. MY PARENTS ARE THE SAME WAY THE DAY BEFORE ALL THE BS WENT DOWN WITH MY CAR MY MOM TOLD ME NOT TO LET HIM USE IT THAT IF HE GETS PULLED OVER OR SOMETHING IT WILL GET IMPOUNDED AND SHE WAS EXACTLY RIGHT AND I STILL GET THE I TOLDYOU SO. MY DAD STAYS OUT OF THINGS AND MY MOM AND HIM CONSTENTLY FIGHT BECAUSE HE STAYS OUT OF IT AND LETS ME AND HER GO AT IT. HE WONT PICK SIDES
Jenny,
I agree with JREESE about the in-house treatment. His mind may be clear enough after 3 months to see some light and he may go for the treatment. It is worth a shot!
I agree with JREESE about the in-house treatment. His mind may be clear enough after 3 months to see some light and he may go for the treatment. It is worth a shot!
No he never did meth or crack, he liked to snort all of our money away. Cocaine!! I just want to scream at him asking "I hope the $$ you got from my wedding ring was the best high yet"" I could yell the most hateful things to him right now. Can't talk to him so I can;t. Which sucks b/c I have alot of crap I want to get off my chest. I know poeple have said "write it down" I just get on a roll and I don't think I can ewrite or type that fast. Or I am just not there yet.
Why try -- maybe you are running, but I think that's OK RUN RUN RUN if that is going to keep you sane.
J Reese He a** will only go to an inhouse program. I have looked in Austin, but it seems that all the treatment centers are in the druggies parts of the town. Ironic isn't it??? They is one in San Antonio called La Haceida, Dr Phil from TV uses that one and we have insurance so I will have to check on that one. I have checked in Waco also, Dallas won't bo bad b/c my family is up there and it's still close enogh (3 hr frive) so much to look at!!! So little time.
Why try -- maybe you are running, but I think that's OK RUN RUN RUN if that is going to keep you sane.
J Reese He a** will only go to an inhouse program. I have looked in Austin, but it seems that all the treatment centers are in the druggies parts of the town. Ironic isn't it??? They is one in San Antonio called La Haceida, Dr Phil from TV uses that one and we have insurance so I will have to check on that one. I have checked in Waco also, Dallas won't bo bad b/c my family is up there and it's still close enogh (3 hr frive) so much to look at!!! So little time.
