hey cowgirl...its me Go'NSTRONG!!!!!!!!!
I slept on what you said then read a few of your posts today...
yes I got defensive, as anyone would have......YOU GAVE YOUR OPINION about alchohal.and I know people have their issues with it.but I also feel maybe sometimes how we feel and what we want to say should be though of before said..
I reliaze the statement below...YOUR WORDS IN A THREAD were regarding Medusa.but it also has something to do with what you said to me....
I am still a newbie here and with my wd.but I also know I am stronger now then I have been in along time, and darn proud of it!!!!!!!! I was being honest here, and the last thing I needed was a comment like you made to me...........I was so angry that I almost said "F" this site.but nope I grew up and said noone willchase me from herre, its becuz of this site that I have gotten where I ma today..Thanks to everyone.............I know you go to your meetings and all.and you feel you need them.thats all good,.,,,,,you are the one that had the problem for 26 years..........I had a problem for 5 years or so.........
There are people in this board that feel they can handle a drink, or smoke a bowl, or if needed take a pain pill and NOT relaspes.............EVERYONE is different!!!! We are NOT all a like in our addiction, normally when someone upsets me like you did last night I would have ran for a drink, a bowl, or a pill. GUESS WHAT??I DIDN"T!!!!!!
I don't mean to be harsh, but I have learned over time, that what I say hurts people, even when I didn't mean to..so please just remember you have a right to say what you want. But also remember some folks are more senitive then others.....I being one....and it may make them sasy "F" it and go back into relaspe ....this is a time for caring.not to be critical of others....
and the comment that others may know more then me........Well hun I knoe me more then you know me and I can handle a glass of wine!!!!!!!!! if I recall I think I just turned 40 in August....
I don't want to start a fight here, but I felt I had the right to say how I felt since you sure let me know how you felt!!!!!!!!!! Time to let it go and move on.....
YOUR WORDS are as below.............something to think about....and remember I do consider myself still a newbie.....
"I'm so sick of the bs. I'm gonna call you on your s***. If you don't like it then maybe it's time to take a look at the reason why.
I don't do that newcomers. I know how fragile they are,"
the great thing about life is that everyone has an opinion...may not be what you need to hear, but sometimes it's something you have to hear.
you have the opportunity to "take what you need and leave the rest"
In early recovery, getting called out on my stuff didn't kick in...
with some time under my belt, it made sense and I took it as good advice.
You have your own ideas and opinions, only YOU know what you NEED...or what you can tolerate.
I don't allow myself to get upset with NA's policy on zero mind-altering chemicals...It used to upset me, but I know with certainty, that because of my brain chemistry, I HAVE to take certain medications in order to function.
like i said, it's a take what you need and leave the rest program...
you have the opportunity to "take what you need and leave the rest"
In early recovery, getting called out on my stuff didn't kick in...
with some time under my belt, it made sense and I took it as good advice.
You have your own ideas and opinions, only YOU know what you NEED...or what you can tolerate.
I don't allow myself to get upset with NA's policy on zero mind-altering chemicals...It used to upset me, but I know with certainty, that because of my brain chemistry, I HAVE to take certain medications in order to function.
like i said, it's a take what you need and leave the rest program...
Dear going
I Know I Missed something........but even if I did, let me get this straight.....
Are you saying it's OK for people to do these things like drink, smoke a bowl
Pop a pill, & so on & also be in recovery?? I'm confused !! LOL
Dottie
I Know I Missed something........but even if I did, let me get this straight.....
Are you saying it's OK for people to do these things like drink, smoke a bowl
Pop a pill, & so on & also be in recovery?? I'm confused !! LOL
Dottie
Pls jut keep reading and posting. I hope someone welcomed you to the board.
I'm sorry I didn't - have learned I can spend hours on this bord so yesterday I got some reading time in.
We are all different with different personalities.
When I started on this board on 5/31, I got one bad post but there are so many sweet, compassionate people here, just stick around and you will see.
I was hooked on Lortabs - once in my 30's and then dunb enough to do it again in my 40's. The day I found this board, I went out and bought e'thing on the list that Rae73 has posted. It was all only about $20 and it helped.
I still drink (maybe) too much OJ b/c you get so much Potassium from it. The 1st week, I had to stick with the supplements and I could eat the bananas.
I wanted that energy after I got over the 1st horrible days.
Like I say, there is much support here - I justrespond to the quiet, compassionate kind. It helped me so those were the ones I read. If I can do anything to help or answer any questions, pls let me know. I have only been clean for a little over 4 months so I know I will never have all of the answers but I do want to help.
Love, Jean
I'm sorry I didn't - have learned I can spend hours on this bord so yesterday I got some reading time in.
We are all different with different personalities.
When I started on this board on 5/31, I got one bad post but there are so many sweet, compassionate people here, just stick around and you will see.
I was hooked on Lortabs - once in my 30's and then dunb enough to do it again in my 40's. The day I found this board, I went out and bought e'thing on the list that Rae73 has posted. It was all only about $20 and it helped.
I still drink (maybe) too much OJ b/c you get so much Potassium from it. The 1st week, I had to stick with the supplements and I could eat the bananas.
I wanted that energy after I got over the 1st horrible days.
Like I say, there is much support here - I justrespond to the quiet, compassionate kind. It helped me so those were the ones I read. If I can do anything to help or answer any questions, pls let me know. I have only been clean for a little over 4 months so I know I will never have all of the answers but I do want to help.
Love, Jean
the way i see it is everybodies recovery belongs to themselves. it is a personal journey. between you and your god, high power, maker or whatever other program of choice you work. no one has the power to take that from you unless you let them. so long as you are true to yourself then nothing or no one elses negative thoughts about what is working posatively for you should matter. just my humble opinion.
terrianne
terrianne
Thanks Jean.
Bump. I agree
Dottie...No I am NOT saying it is OK to do as I mentioned....
I said I had 1 glass of wine the other night, after not being able to drink since I had a bad spill with methadone and alchohal........so I felt like having one and thats all I had...I didn't relapse.....my proplem now is pain pills......17 days clean today....so instead of being slammed for having a glass of wine.it outta be proud I made it this far from pills..........
Bump. I agree
Dottie...No I am NOT saying it is OK to do as I mentioned....
I said I had 1 glass of wine the other night, after not being able to drink since I had a bad spill with methadone and alchohal........so I felt like having one and thats all I had...I didn't relapse.....my proplem now is pain pills......17 days clean today....so instead of being slammed for having a glass of wine.it outta be proud I made it this far from pills..........
I know that when I have a react to something posted it is generally, exactly what I needed to hear. I don't think things really bother us or get under our skin unless it is something we are fighting our own demons with. Thank you for posting it is an excellent reminder for me.
Rachel
Dear Janet,
We think the same on no pills - no way. That can be impossible. I have to take Xanax, have for at least 10 years for panic attacks. The time I stopped them just b/c I forget them while on vacatrion, I had a "Grand Mal" seizure. Something I hope and pray never to have again. Want no on eto have one of those.
I was afraid to tell the board that for a long time but more afraid of another seizure. My Psychiatrist is fine with it as long as I don't ever need more. He says that's the problem, like so many drugs, we build up an immunity to them and want more.
They have worked fine for me and he says I will be on forever. He said he didn't think I would survive another seizure like I had about 3 years ago. I was gone, they had to use the paddles on me - I thank God that during a seizure, you don't know what's going on.
When I saw one ay on the board, someone thought they had to get rid of all the pills (inc. Xanax)
I had to tell them, I thought I had rather get kicked off the board for good than for someone to have a seizure, some don't survive.
So, no one judged me on it - like you say, we need some medications.
Love, Jean
We think the same on no pills - no way. That can be impossible. I have to take Xanax, have for at least 10 years for panic attacks. The time I stopped them just b/c I forget them while on vacatrion, I had a "Grand Mal" seizure. Something I hope and pray never to have again. Want no on eto have one of those.
I was afraid to tell the board that for a long time but more afraid of another seizure. My Psychiatrist is fine with it as long as I don't ever need more. He says that's the problem, like so many drugs, we build up an immunity to them and want more.
They have worked fine for me and he says I will be on forever. He said he didn't think I would survive another seizure like I had about 3 years ago. I was gone, they had to use the paddles on me - I thank God that during a seizure, you don't know what's going on.
When I saw one ay on the board, someone thought they had to get rid of all the pills (inc. Xanax)
I had to tell them, I thought I had rather get kicked off the board for good than for someone to have a seizure, some don't survive.
So, no one judged me on it - like you say, we need some medications.
Love, Jean
Thanks boo........so so true
I know I am doing whats right for ME!!! sad people judge others for what they do..we only know ourselves.and I know god was telling me it was ok....its time for you to feel good about yourself, and thats what I did.....: )
I know I am doing whats right for ME!!! sad people judge others for what they do..we only know ourselves.and I know god was telling me it was ok....its time for you to feel good about yourself, and thats what I did.....: )
Oh, and CONGRATULATIONS on the 17 days.
You are feeling stronger now, I'm sure and you know you have a brain. I was afraid at some point that I had lost mine.
Love, Jean
You are feeling stronger now, I'm sure and you know you have a brain. I was afraid at some point that I had lost mine.
Love, Jean
Krazi...like has been reiterated, some of us must(or are capable of) doing things that other's can't....myself, yes, I think I probably could handle just ONE glass of wine, but due to the medications I am on, it's not possible.
When I visited my mom and dad, my mom offered me wine, more than once, but I CHOSE not to take a drink....it's all about choices...like the CHOICE that we have everyday to NOT use...
yes, congratulations on 17 days, you are doing great!!!
When I visited my mom and dad, my mom offered me wine, more than once, but I CHOSE not to take a drink....it's all about choices...like the CHOICE that we have everyday to NOT use...
yes, congratulations on 17 days, you are doing great!!!
many many many have thought that way ..... "i can handle a glass of wine or a bowl.. never been a problem for me'.... and then bam... now it is a problem for them... but they can never never look at me or some others and say "why didnt you warn me?' .. "why didnt you try to make me see"... I will always tell you the truth and try to keep another from going down the same path of hurt and pain that I or that I have seen many others go down ... but some have to do it on there own.. it is just the way it is... no amount of lovely love or tough love will keep them safe from themselves but I will not stop trying ... I am not built that way. If people had given up on me I wouldnt be here today. Happy and clean from all addictive drugs... alcohol, narcotics, and pot.... period... walking thru the fire is/was the only way for me ... I can now look back at the other side and appreciate the hard won struggle and remember why I dont want to go back there again.
those of us that have done it that way or that have that zero tolerance for other drugs program are just not willing to let more go down those paths that others have gone only to come back with more scars and war wounds with out saying something to prevent it .... at least I am not...
I dont know exactly what was said but I get the jist... I support anyone telling another addict that drinking or smoking is not recovery... period .. the potential for switching one for the other is tooo great... and patting them on the arse and saying it is ok is just being a people pleaser and and helping them stay sick and locked in a self imposed prision of addiction.
just MY humble opinion..
teresa
those of us that have done it that way or that have that zero tolerance for other drugs program are just not willing to let more go down those paths that others have gone only to come back with more scars and war wounds with out saying something to prevent it .... at least I am not...
I dont know exactly what was said but I get the jist... I support anyone telling another addict that drinking or smoking is not recovery... period .. the potential for switching one for the other is tooo great... and patting them on the arse and saying it is ok is just being a people pleaser and and helping them stay sick and locked in a self imposed prision of addiction.
just MY humble opinion..
teresa
THANK -YOU THANK-YOU THANK-YOU!!!!!!!!!!
when I was on my 7th day of wd and in hell my gf offered me Vico's and oxycotin ( omg this stuff scares me.never have taken one, but now know togals that have died from it locally) to take away the EDGE!!!!!!!! I was strong enough at that time to say no way.......that would have been the time to give in. But I knew I didn't want to go back thru this feeling again...........its hella scary!!!!!
when I was on my 7th day of wd and in hell my gf offered me Vico's and oxycotin ( omg this stuff scares me.never have taken one, but now know togals that have died from it locally) to take away the EDGE!!!!!!!! I was strong enough at that time to say no way.......that would have been the time to give in. But I knew I didn't want to go back thru this feeling again...........its hella scary!!!!!
"normally when someone upsets me like you did last night I would have ran for a drink, a bowl, or a pill. GUESS WHAT??I DIDN"T!!!!!!"
If you normally run for a drink or a bowl when someone upsets you, I think this may be a red flag, jmho.
Rachel
I will be the first to admit that I do like cowgirl 's posts very much. Short, sweet and to the point. She sounds alot like my sponsors and that is great for me.
Also, I would like to point out that there is NOTHING anyone here can say...or do...to either make you use or make you stop using. Absolutely nothing. Support and encouragement can be given, but nothing here will be the "push" in either direction. It is our own minds that give the the push.
Thus, cowgirl...or anyone else...is responsible for nothing other than their own words, not peoples' reactions to them.
As for her recommendation to avoid alcohol as well in recovery, I fully second that. Not because every pillhead who dabbles in booze will relapse in pills or become an alcoholic, but simply because it is the safest, most prudent action.
I can only speak for myself that my dabbling in booze definitely contributed to my relapse. Not because of clouded judgment, but because, the booze reacted VERY badly with Remeron, which I am on. Note: NO DRINKING ON REMERON, bad....very bad..... So of course in perfect addict thinking, I thought, well booze doesn't interact well, but the opiates should be OK....Yeesh.
You noted yourself that....
This may be something you want to consider, especially early in recovery, as the most prudent step.
After all, regardless or what some social drinkers might say, even social drinkers enjoy their little buzz, or relaxation from their one or two drinks. My spouse does, and they are a very infrequent drinker. This can be a dangerous place for addicts....Just think about it....
Also, I would like to point out that there is NOTHING anyone here can say...or do...to either make you use or make you stop using. Absolutely nothing. Support and encouragement can be given, but nothing here will be the "push" in either direction. It is our own minds that give the the push.
Thus, cowgirl...or anyone else...is responsible for nothing other than their own words, not peoples' reactions to them.
As for her recommendation to avoid alcohol as well in recovery, I fully second that. Not because every pillhead who dabbles in booze will relapse in pills or become an alcoholic, but simply because it is the safest, most prudent action.
I can only speak for myself that my dabbling in booze definitely contributed to my relapse. Not because of clouded judgment, but because, the booze reacted VERY badly with Remeron, which I am on. Note: NO DRINKING ON REMERON, bad....very bad..... So of course in perfect addict thinking, I thought, well booze doesn't interact well, but the opiates should be OK....Yeesh.
You noted yourself that....
| QUOTE |
.I had a problem a few years back to where one bottle was not enough.... |
This may be something you want to consider, especially early in recovery, as the most prudent step.
After all, regardless or what some social drinkers might say, even social drinkers enjoy their little buzz, or relaxation from their one or two drinks. My spouse does, and they are a very infrequent drinker. This can be a dangerous place for addicts....Just think about it....
Ok enough said..( besides it was for cg, which I guess she is not here..we have to remember this is about pain pills here. we don't want to scare newbies away by this thread. didn't mean to start anything bad.........
GOOD for you all in the NA AA programs and live by total voidness of anything....I am happy for you that it works..........keep it up...but be aware there are others that don't feel the same way as you, and we are entitled to feel the way we feel....but also need to be aware of how our comments hurt.........and no its not becuz I am in denial.........I know my weeknesses....and my strengths........which are total Kraziness........hee hee.my son calls me Krazilady now...... I love it
GOOD for you all in the NA AA programs and live by total voidness of anything....I am happy for you that it works..........keep it up...but be aware there are others that don't feel the same way as you, and we are entitled to feel the way we feel....but also need to be aware of how our comments hurt.........and no its not becuz I am in denial.........I know my weeknesses....and my strengths........which are total Kraziness........hee hee.my son calls me Krazilady now...... I love it
Note to krazy ,
Not using any psychoactive drugs for non-medical purposes (that would include alcohol) is not a "void". Interesting choice of words...that....void......I am not void of anything. It is not a question of better or worse, it is a question of prudence.
And by the way, not just AA/NA people recommend that strategy. It is used with other methods of recovery as well.
I
Not using any psychoactive drugs for non-medical purposes (that would include alcohol) is not a "void". Interesting choice of words...that....void......I am not void of anything. It is not a question of better or worse, it is a question of prudence.
And by the way, not just AA/NA people recommend that strategy. It is used with other methods of recovery as well.
I
I don't drink or take any kind of narcotics anymore. When i first went into the program, i didn't really think of alcohol as being a problem, but the truth is when i do drink I can't have just one. My philosophy is "why drink beer if you aren't gonna get drunk or buzzed, what's the point?" I have come to realize that alcohol makes me feel like i have no control... even with the first drink, you know when your body starts to get that tingly feeling? And i don't like that feeling one bit. The longer a person is in the program the easier it is to see where we are coming from. I hear story after story of oldtimers who didn't have a problem with alcohol and then suddenly alcohol is their new drug of choice. As addicts, we have a chemical make-up that makes it easier for us to get addicted to any kind of mood altering substance. I guess my point is... i just don't want to take any chances... plus, i love being able to think clearly now and i relax so much better just drinking a glass of tea than a glass of wine.
With that said, I want to say CONGRATULATIONS on your clean days! I am very proud of you... and it is your decision on the alcohol... just be careful. I really respect Lisa/Cowgirls post's... she reminds me of my sponsor too... to the point and it's never candy-coated.
Love you! Bri :)
With that said, I want to say CONGRATULATIONS on your clean days! I am very proud of you... and it is your decision on the alcohol... just be careful. I really respect Lisa/Cowgirls post's... she reminds me of my sponsor too... to the point and it's never candy-coated.
Love you! Bri :)
void?...... yes that is interesting choice of words....
teresa
teresa
Sorry for using the wrong word..............I never said I was a perfect human being,,,,,,,void to me is no longer existing......or avoiding being involved ....or voiding.........not doing........I feel now it is getting a little petty...........its really sad I thought this site was here to help us that are or have gone thru hell with our wd and addictions.........seems there are those that choose to pick on things that don't need to be.........
Sorry I said anything.....I guess I will do this on my own....LATER FOLKS!!!!!!
and I wish you all well........
Thanks for all those that have helped me here.......maybe I will come back after my one year just so you all know I made it becuz I am go'nstrong and and stronger everyday.........
Take care!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I said anything.....I guess I will do this on my own....LATER FOLKS!!!!!!
and I wish you all well........
Thanks for all those that have helped me here.......maybe I will come back after my one year just so you all know I made it becuz I am go'nstrong and and stronger everyday.........
Take care!!!!!!!!!!!!
