Jean, I have no doubt that you will hear from Lisa in this thread.
I was told by a very wise person in the program which I am so grateful for I might add "The truth will set you free but first it will piss you off!"'I have found this to be true in every flaw that has been pointed out to me about me that I did not want to accept so usually when someone calls me out and it ticks me off I need to change something else again but that is what it is all about change Right? Thanks for letting me share my opinion,Cristina
Dear Doing 4 M -
You are so right.
I think we are both right in our own ways and we all want to help people.
So I agree to dis-agree.
Love to all,
Jean
You are so right.
I think we are both right in our own ways and we all want to help people.
So I agree to dis-agree.
Love to all,
Jean
In all fairness, I think Lisa's comment was pretty benign...more like an observation. A very short post, followed by an apology after goinstrong (not sure the name now) expressed anger at it. And she let it lie. I was surprised this a.m. to see her get so angry and need to speak so strongly. I feel that with brand new people, still shaky with w/d, a little tlc goes a long way. Nobody jumped my a** at all and it helped tremendously. Still took me awhile to shake everything, but the acceptance I felt here by some was instrumental in keeping trying. You program folks speak the truth, no doubt. But many addicts will take a bit to realize there is physiology at work as well...not just self control. We can't expect people to grasp in a week or 2 what it took most much longer to learn.
But again, I thought Lisa simply made a comment and it was blown out of proportion. SHe immediatly apologized as well. JMHO Beck
But again, I thought Lisa simply made a comment and it was blown out of proportion. SHe immediatly apologized as well. JMHO Beck
wow..look what I missed and all for clean carpets.
Tough love....as someone pointed out, there's a right way and a wrong way. I've always been straight up and honest. That's what you get from me. I'm not doing it to be mean or nasty. It's not a power trip or ego boost. It's out of love and concern for the still suffering addict. If I call you on your bs, it's because I care. Otherwise, I wouldn't bother. And alot of times I don't.
I won't apologize for what I said to "goinstrong" or whatever your name is now, it was factual, not just my opinion. But when you get right down to it, it's just information, you decide what you want to do with it. I'm not telling you that you absolutely have to do it, just telling you the truth. I also apologized for making you feel offended. I noticed that you didn't respond to that. I pissed you off because I got too close to the truth.
If you choose to leave, it's because we all hit a nerve and you aren't comfortable with what you're feeling. You probably deep down know it's a problem but you're just not quite ready to give it all up. I know that's how I used to think. And that stinkin thinkin, kept me using. You don't have to be clean to post on this board. But it is a recovery board and I would hope that you would listen to those that have gone on before you. Your way wasn't working. Someone just might know more than you.
This is a board of recovery with lots and lots of different personalities. Firesign said it best, sometimes words don't come across as intended. But if you look past the words, read the meanings, you usually come up with something you can use.
There needs to be a balance of tough love and the "it's ok, don't worry about it" kind of responses. But those that don't want to hear something, are usually the ones that need to hear the most (thank you Rachel)
I'll keep posting my way..you keep posting yours. I don't tell you how to post, give me the same courtesy.
Cowgirl
Tough love....as someone pointed out, there's a right way and a wrong way. I've always been straight up and honest. That's what you get from me. I'm not doing it to be mean or nasty. It's not a power trip or ego boost. It's out of love and concern for the still suffering addict. If I call you on your bs, it's because I care. Otherwise, I wouldn't bother. And alot of times I don't.
I won't apologize for what I said to "goinstrong" or whatever your name is now, it was factual, not just my opinion. But when you get right down to it, it's just information, you decide what you want to do with it. I'm not telling you that you absolutely have to do it, just telling you the truth. I also apologized for making you feel offended. I noticed that you didn't respond to that. I pissed you off because I got too close to the truth.
If you choose to leave, it's because we all hit a nerve and you aren't comfortable with what you're feeling. You probably deep down know it's a problem but you're just not quite ready to give it all up. I know that's how I used to think. And that stinkin thinkin, kept me using. You don't have to be clean to post on this board. But it is a recovery board and I would hope that you would listen to those that have gone on before you. Your way wasn't working. Someone just might know more than you.
This is a board of recovery with lots and lots of different personalities. Firesign said it best, sometimes words don't come across as intended. But if you look past the words, read the meanings, you usually come up with something you can use.
There needs to be a balance of tough love and the "it's ok, don't worry about it" kind of responses. But those that don't want to hear something, are usually the ones that need to hear the most (thank you Rachel)
I'll keep posting my way..you keep posting yours. I don't tell you how to post, give me the same courtesy.
Cowgirl
I agreee what intodeep (Beck) said. It was pretty innocent of a statement, and not too bad advice for an addict, and was blown WAY THE F*** OUT OF THE WATER. And please, do not compare length of addiction to see who is better (ie. you being addicted for 5 years and Lisa for 26)
Regards,
Tom
Regards,
Tom
I agree, this is another thread gone astray...
opinions are like azzholes...everybody has one
opinions are like azzholes...everybody has one
astray? azzholes? i happen to find this stimulating healthy debating, call me a crazy confused lost recovering addict, but hey, i thought this was just the story of life as we know it, live it, love it, get over it already!!!!'
terrianne
terrianne
terrianne, if you read some of the posts in here, some people have taken this whole thing personally....as us addicts have a tendency to do....i merely remarked that we all have opinions...
i guess i was also projecting what i read on the heroin board....surprise...a closed thread....it got alot more heated than this one though
i guess i was also projecting what i read on the heroin board....surprise...a closed thread....it got alot more heated than this one though
i know janet i just dont know which way way to go some times lol i dont know when to throw up or just stop!!!! sombody just stop me!!!!
terrianne
terrianne
me too Terrianne...i know exactly what you are saying....
And to jump in where I'm not needed again...Lisa, Janet, Rachel, all of you who try so hard for all of us, Thank you! One of the best things you all do is recognize emotions are running high with some, and it's hard as well to envision life completely sober. I remember when I thought if I could just beat a monstrous oxycontin habit, (which stole my soul) I'd be o.k. I'd been buying xanax, valium, flexeril, soma and fiornal off the internet as my oxy scripts wouldn't last. Well I finally quit the oxy after much hell...knew there'd come a day when I was out of everything...only to go on a 3 month bender with all the other plus my lortab script. Much of it was ignorance. I'd used the other stuff off and on w/o becoming dependent. But I learned the hardest way about cross addiction. So through baptism by fire, I've come by this the hard way. And as you all say, you're trying to save some of us this terrible long ordeal.
Lisa, I've seen you show great patience with those who get angry. That shows your sincerity all to well. You'll take a lot of abuse to stand your ground. Again, I thank you all. Beck
Lisa, I've seen you show great patience with those who get angry. That shows your sincerity all to well. You'll take a lot of abuse to stand your ground. Again, I thank you all. Beck
thanks for including me in there Beck...i'm honored!
I know that nobody could tell me anything, i had to find it out myself...most of us are that way....in hindsight we look back and think..."i should have listened"
I know that nobody could tell me anything, i had to find it out myself...most of us are that way....in hindsight we look back and think..."i should have listened"
.wow !!
Lisa finished her carpets & responded.
Should be the end of this one- dont youse think??
love to all
jack
Lisa finished her carpets & responded.
Should be the end of this one- dont youse think??
love to all
jack
don't know Jack, you know how us addicts love to beat a dead horse!
I agree with Terrianne...I saw alot of good things said here in this thread. Debate sometimes makes us feel alive.
Thank you Beck..that meant alot.
Janet...YGM
XXX
Cowgirl
Thank you Beck..that meant alot.
Janet...YGM
XXX
Cowgirl
Cowgirl:
I agree with you 100% - as long as we stay honest to ourselves and not be nasty to others, we are a good bunch.
Even in our emails.
Jean
I agree with you 100% - as long as we stay honest to ourselves and not be nasty to others, we are a good bunch.
Even in our emails.
Jean
I think it is all healthy. I don't have any answers on this subject, I just know what worked for me. I'm sorry that I had something to do with blowing it a little out of proportion, but I did learn something and will re-evaluate my style. Everybody has something unique to offer and that's what I feel is most important. I think most here have the same agenda and that's to help people. Sorry for fueling the fire.
Flipper..I went back and re-read your post...I don't see where you fueled any fire. You have your opinion and someone might relate more to what you say than the next person and it could be that "ah-ha" moment for that person.
I'm always happy to see you post.
Jean..I have no idea what you're talking about, as usual.
Cowgirl
I'm always happy to see you post.
Jean..I have no idea what you're talking about, as usual.
Cowgirl
Well this is my first time posting in this thread and it is already 5 pages long and has been viewed 1540 times... Give me a cookie, I was able to stay out of the drama over here... I just went to another thread and started some..:-) Janet you were all over this thread,LOL You go girl!! Your right some addicts do like beating a dead horse..
I just wanted to jump in and say something Traci before this thread goes down in history like the rest of them and gets locked down..
I don't want to say much about what you said to Cowgirl. That is your business and between you and her. I hope you said you were leaving the board out of anger. There have been some real good people that have left this board because of the bullsh*t.. You know I have seen so many people say their good-byes on this message board and then return. I mean some make real LONG threads saying good-bye and then they return. Or some just say it and never leave. LOL Or some leave for just a couple weeks after making their speech & Return again.. I hope you return to the board and continue giving others hope. You never know who you might help by sharing your story on kicking methadone..I hope you will just come back.
Like I said don't be embarrassed SO many people have said their good-bye's the " Addiction recovery Board' and didn't mean it ,LOL It's one of those things that happen when people get upset, it's human nature...Just don't make a habit out of it.. :-0)
I haven't always liked what I have been told BUT it wasn't always because someone said something I didn't want to hear. It was more like they said something that they just shouldn't have...Or I thought they shouldn't have and it offended me.. It's funny I see people saying "what?? didn't you like what you heard? I must of struck a cord..Was there some truth to what was said? I say don't flatter yourself buddy maybe I didn't want to hear you because you don't make sense to me and maybe I don't want to live the way you live. It could be they didn't read what they wanted to read because it didn't appy to them or their program..See it goes both ways... I am comfortable with being me. For once in my life without pain pills I am glad to be in my own skin.. That is what matters is if you like what you see when you look in the mirror..Seems some have real issuses with those that can sip a glass of wine around here and that's alright..It's not just cowgirl there is a herd of on the board and in this thread!!!Don' t be scared and confused!! Come back.. Understand what the program teaches them and then decide for yourself if you ever want to be a part of that program. It has helped many people stay clean and sober... We are all just full of free-will and choices..If your way works for you then I am happy too!!!
You found this board for a reason like the rest of us. Some come back whenever you feel ready. You and Cowgirl will work out and if not then so be it...There is room enough for the both of you on this board!! Just don't stay away long and congrats on day 18...Rae
I just wanted to jump in and say something Traci before this thread goes down in history like the rest of them and gets locked down..
I don't want to say much about what you said to Cowgirl. That is your business and between you and her. I hope you said you were leaving the board out of anger. There have been some real good people that have left this board because of the bullsh*t.. You know I have seen so many people say their good-byes on this message board and then return. I mean some make real LONG threads saying good-bye and then they return. Or some just say it and never leave. LOL Or some leave for just a couple weeks after making their speech & Return again.. I hope you return to the board and continue giving others hope. You never know who you might help by sharing your story on kicking methadone..I hope you will just come back.
Like I said don't be embarrassed SO many people have said their good-bye's the " Addiction recovery Board' and didn't mean it ,LOL It's one of those things that happen when people get upset, it's human nature...Just don't make a habit out of it.. :-0)
I haven't always liked what I have been told BUT it wasn't always because someone said something I didn't want to hear. It was more like they said something that they just shouldn't have...Or I thought they shouldn't have and it offended me.. It's funny I see people saying "what?? didn't you like what you heard? I must of struck a cord..Was there some truth to what was said? I say don't flatter yourself buddy maybe I didn't want to hear you because you don't make sense to me and maybe I don't want to live the way you live. It could be they didn't read what they wanted to read because it didn't appy to them or their program..See it goes both ways... I am comfortable with being me. For once in my life without pain pills I am glad to be in my own skin.. That is what matters is if you like what you see when you look in the mirror..Seems some have real issuses with those that can sip a glass of wine around here and that's alright..It's not just cowgirl there is a herd of on the board and in this thread!!!Don' t be scared and confused!! Come back.. Understand what the program teaches them and then decide for yourself if you ever want to be a part of that program. It has helped many people stay clean and sober... We are all just full of free-will and choices..If your way works for you then I am happy too!!!
You found this board for a reason like the rest of us. Some come back whenever you feel ready. You and Cowgirl will work out and if not then so be it...There is room enough for the both of you on this board!! Just don't stay away long and congrats on day 18...Rae
