Dear Cowgirl,
That verbal, malicious assault on you was outrageous. I didn't know if it was my place to intervene and defend you, I know how well you can defend yourself. In retrospect, I wish I had posted.
I can't imagine what this forum, this entire board, for that matter, would be like with you gone. You have so much experience with addiction. Your honesty is a true asset. The wisdom and humility that you bring to this forum has been, to me, noticeable from the first day I joined this board.
If you decide to leave, I will truly miss you. Every word you have written, either directly to me or indirectly, when posting to another person, will never be forgotten.
Please take some time to think about this. And, if your decision is final, I know how to contact you.
Thank you, also, to the Moderators for intervening and defending Cowgirl. Though it may have come too late, it was an action that meant a great deal. Cowgirl has been a true asset to this board and, if she so chooses, will be missed by all of us that have known her so well.
I'll always remember you, Cowgirl. I'll remember how well you supported other people, showed them hope, and inspired them along the difficult path to recovery.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, Cowgirl.
Ben
OMG, let's not bury her yet! lol
lol.... none....
No disrespect intended, as you know T . . . I hope and expect C-girl will rise again, in part because I think she places the welfare of others above her own ego -- which is the biggest compliment I can think to give somebody. But her own sobriety has to come first, as it must for all of us.
Hi none what a good post hun. jackie xxxx
none taken.... i got it...
teresa....
teresa....
Cowgirl, please don't go. I like your posts and wisdom....you bring alot to this board.
WHAT HAPPENED? I can't find the posts..
WHAT HAPPENED? I can't find the posts..
Cowgirl, I for one never want to piss you off, gal, you are too tough for me! I have been so proud of your work on this board.
It is better for me if I stay out of these little scuffles, but I can tell you that I tend to give the benefit of the doubt those who are clean and sober, working a program of recovery, and giving of themselves in service to those addicts who are still suffering. It is hard work and leads easily to frustration. To worsen matters, there is always some puppy around with little or no true working sense of the steps who is more than happy to remind us that we are not perfect. Worse yet are those who come out of the wood work when some sacred cow gets threatened.
I can also assure you that what you wrote did not come close to rising to the level of a threat regardless of what the wise sages with oh, so many years of clean and sober living under their belts may opine to the contrary.
You do what you need to do to take care of your own recovery first and foremost, but I just think you are the Cat's Pajamas and am so proud of you.
Heck I remember the early days when I called you on the carpet Big Time to get clean. I would have a dozen people shouting me down today if they had witnessed the dressing down that I gave you. They would have encircled you in a circle of misguided enablement to protect you from moi, the Big Bad 12 Step Ogre. Yet somehow, you are sober today and giving of your time, your experience, strength and hope, and many of the naysayers are chasing the next pill.
Go figure.
God Bless ya, Gal.
I hope you read this, but heck even if you don't you know I am your buddy in recovery, and a damned proud one at that.
August
It is better for me if I stay out of these little scuffles, but I can tell you that I tend to give the benefit of the doubt those who are clean and sober, working a program of recovery, and giving of themselves in service to those addicts who are still suffering. It is hard work and leads easily to frustration. To worsen matters, there is always some puppy around with little or no true working sense of the steps who is more than happy to remind us that we are not perfect. Worse yet are those who come out of the wood work when some sacred cow gets threatened.
I can also assure you that what you wrote did not come close to rising to the level of a threat regardless of what the wise sages with oh, so many years of clean and sober living under their belts may opine to the contrary.
You do what you need to do to take care of your own recovery first and foremost, but I just think you are the Cat's Pajamas and am so proud of you.
Heck I remember the early days when I called you on the carpet Big Time to get clean. I would have a dozen people shouting me down today if they had witnessed the dressing down that I gave you. They would have encircled you in a circle of misguided enablement to protect you from moi, the Big Bad 12 Step Ogre. Yet somehow, you are sober today and giving of your time, your experience, strength and hope, and many of the naysayers are chasing the next pill.
Go figure.
God Bless ya, Gal.
I hope you read this, but heck even if you don't you know I am your buddy in recovery, and a damned proud one at that.
August
This is the last time I will say anything here. I wasn't trying to slam Cowgirl, unlike what she does to me all the time. I was thinking about the people that come to this board and end up reading what she wrote. No, it wasn't the first time she wrote that. It's a threat. The threat being that if anyone messes with her everybody is going to fight for her.Which everybody did again.
I for one will not back down from anybody. I will not post here anymore because I don't need to waste my time argueing with fools who think they are better then everybody else. I don't need that kind of people in my life. So here you go guys, have the board. You people couldn't care less about the sick and suffering. You all, that includes you as well August has just kept treating me like crap. Yea, I know you are human and make mistakes, guess what? So am I. At least I admit when I make them. I don't wait until people have to point them out. Mistake is something you make once. Cowgirl has made that comment more then just once.
KSharon, you are the one that comes in here to cause trouble, not me. I only tried to help people and in return just keep going up against the same group all the time. Sharon you and your little group on the other board talking about how you guys love stirring up trouble. I won't be part of it.
For now on I'll just work my program, I will pray for you guys.
Liz
I for one will not back down from anybody. I will not post here anymore because I don't need to waste my time argueing with fools who think they are better then everybody else. I don't need that kind of people in my life. So here you go guys, have the board. You people couldn't care less about the sick and suffering. You all, that includes you as well August has just kept treating me like crap. Yea, I know you are human and make mistakes, guess what? So am I. At least I admit when I make them. I don't wait until people have to point them out. Mistake is something you make once. Cowgirl has made that comment more then just once.
KSharon, you are the one that comes in here to cause trouble, not me. I only tried to help people and in return just keep going up against the same group all the time. Sharon you and your little group on the other board talking about how you guys love stirring up trouble. I won't be part of it.
For now on I'll just work my program, I will pray for you guys.
Liz
Don't let the door hit you in the butt on the way out...
Sorry, couldn't resist. I will continue to post here because, yes, I help people and I get way more out of this board then you do out of me. After reviewing some old posts, I think I pretty much figured out the problem here, and it's leaving, so we can all get back to recovery now. No amount of explaination is going to make that person happy. Even support from the moderators and new comers didn't help.
Whatever.
Like I said, I need you guys and if I say something that comes across a little strong, I'm sorry for hurting feelings, BUT, I'm not sorry for kicking butts when you need it. It's what worked for me. And I'm clean. For today.
Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. It's nice to feel needed and validated. We all need that.
Recovery first. Always.
Love,
Cowgirl
Sorry, couldn't resist. I will continue to post here because, yes, I help people and I get way more out of this board then you do out of me. After reviewing some old posts, I think I pretty much figured out the problem here, and it's leaving, so we can all get back to recovery now. No amount of explaination is going to make that person happy. Even support from the moderators and new comers didn't help.
Whatever.
Like I said, I need you guys and if I say something that comes across a little strong, I'm sorry for hurting feelings, BUT, I'm not sorry for kicking butts when you need it. It's what worked for me. And I'm clean. For today.
Thank you everyone for your kind words of support. It's nice to feel needed and validated. We all need that.
Recovery first. Always.
Love,
Cowgirl
It worked for me too my friend, I had to be told "like it was" or I would have happily lived in my drugged bubble. If our attitude is where it should be, we accept that toughness for what it is.....the truth. I'm glad you know your value here (and everywhere). You can never stop your way of saying things, if you did you wouldn't be YOU. We can't always make people feel good, sometimes we have to just be honest. None of us wants to see anybody die, and this is truly life or death. I wish that Liz could have known you, and Sharon, because if she did, she would understand the sweetness underneath the tough exterior. Right now, instead of feeling what she is feeling, she would be grateful. This group succeeds in helping people into recovery because of all those who are honest, even if it stings a little sometimes. I'm glad you feel validated, you deserved to. Much love and God bless, Kat
<message removed>
Umm, Hi?
Well, since this is a recovery board, we can choose to either, "Let It Go" and,
"Live And Let Live" or, allow this to become yet another war zone.
Either way I'm outta here!....Exit stage left....lol...Take care...God bless....Bob
Well, since this is a recovery board, we can choose to either, "Let It Go" and,
"Live And Let Live" or, allow this to become yet another war zone.
Either way I'm outta here!....Exit stage left....lol...Take care...God bless....Bob
<message removed>
Hey Cowgirl...........Glad that you decided to stay! You light the way for some of us who would need to be a bit more straight forward in this world. Perhaps if some people really looked inside themselves when they become angry with what you say, they will discover that nerves are being touched. The truth hurts like hell sometimes..........but only in that truth can we find the answers.
Thank you for being you...........God Bless, Russell
Thank you for being you...........God Bless, Russell
I'm so lucky to have you in my corner of recovery. I would never have come this far without all of you.
Life gets a little out of control sometimes. You keep me grounded and safe.
I love you all
Cowgirl
Life gets a little out of control sometimes. You keep me grounded and safe.
I love you all
Cowgirl
Hello Everyone
I felt that I needed to post one more time since I posted some feelings that I had regarding some comments that Cowgirl made. I have been following this board for several months now. If you look at the number of posts written and compare that to the number of times they have been viewed, I think you can easily see that there are many of us that follow this board all the time yet rarely ever post. I am one of those people.
I came across this board while doing a search on oxycontin, a drug that I must take for chronic pain, I will have to take this drug for the rest of my life in order have a somewhat normal life worth living. I do not abuse this drug, I do not abuse any drug. Now. That however has not always been the case. In the 80's I did the "cocaine thing". That has been 15 years ago. When I got really bad I reached out to God, my higher power. I had a life changing experience. I didn't have to go to NA or AA, in fact the gift I received from God I had never even heard of until I received it. Yet, from that moment forward I didn't have a single desire for cocaine or any drug for that matter. I was a new person, I AM a new person, totally changed.
Having said that I just wanted you all to maybe understand why I posted the other night. I just feel that we should treat others the way we wish to be treated. Especially on a recovery board. I just do not understand and maybe you all can help me understamd, why the people here who believe in and practice tough love, forget the word love. I "get" that some need a kick in the butt and not be babied, but at first I think when they are hurting, that they need to feel love, almost to the point of being babied for a while, till they find their footing.
I was kind of shocked the first few times I saw the battles that went on here. The name calling and throwing the person's shortcomings and failures in their faces when they would not say the right thing or the right way. So when I saw the, what I considered a threat" (the gang will come after you so watch out, is what I took it to mean.) it was just the last straw for me. It wasn't that I chose Cowgirl, it could have been anyone. I just couldn't take it anymore.
Many of you have become close friends on here and I think that is probably one of the best things about this board. However it can also come across very badly to new people when it appears to be a gang mentality. I've recently seen Liz treated as is she didn't deserve the same respect as all of you deserved when you first came here looking for help. And not just Liz, there have been many that I have seen come and go mad and hurt. I've also noticed that many of the very dear people here that used to post often and helped many people have stopped when they crossed the invisible line put there by the "powers that be". I miss Marie, Rhonda, H. and many others that I saw bring so much love into this place.
I remember after I got clean and sober that I felt a bit superior to people that were where I used to be. I'd try to show them the way and when they didn't "get it" I'd get so frustrated and then blame them for my short temper and would excuse myself for my bad behavior. I think I've grown since then and realize that words are powerful tools, they can be used for good and can do great harm. Given that this is a site of nothing but words I think it would serve everyone in a positve way if all would think twice and write once with the other persons feelings in mind at all times.
I don't mean to sound preachy but come on guys...this is a terrific website when it's full of help and love. It can save so many lives from the destruction that drugs bring. Can we please be a safe place to fall even with tough love?
So many apologies are needed and so many should be given and everyone welcome...whether we post on a daily basis or just watch from the sidelines. You all have no idea how much good you do and how much harm is done when it goes bad.
Sorry I've taken so much space here and so much of your time for those who chose to read this. It really took a lot of courage for me to step out here and bare my soul, so to speak to all the people that I actually feel like I know since I've been following your "recovery board lives" for 3 months now, and you didn't even know I existed...and there are alot more out there just like me. That's why I never posted before though, for fear of being slammed.
I hope that you will all be kind and not be too harsh on me as I have a pretty sensitive heart, I break easily. So, with that said, goodnight and God bless each one of you.
I felt that I needed to post one more time since I posted some feelings that I had regarding some comments that Cowgirl made. I have been following this board for several months now. If you look at the number of posts written and compare that to the number of times they have been viewed, I think you can easily see that there are many of us that follow this board all the time yet rarely ever post. I am one of those people.
I came across this board while doing a search on oxycontin, a drug that I must take for chronic pain, I will have to take this drug for the rest of my life in order have a somewhat normal life worth living. I do not abuse this drug, I do not abuse any drug. Now. That however has not always been the case. In the 80's I did the "cocaine thing". That has been 15 years ago. When I got really bad I reached out to God, my higher power. I had a life changing experience. I didn't have to go to NA or AA, in fact the gift I received from God I had never even heard of until I received it. Yet, from that moment forward I didn't have a single desire for cocaine or any drug for that matter. I was a new person, I AM a new person, totally changed.
Having said that I just wanted you all to maybe understand why I posted the other night. I just feel that we should treat others the way we wish to be treated. Especially on a recovery board. I just do not understand and maybe you all can help me understamd, why the people here who believe in and practice tough love, forget the word love. I "get" that some need a kick in the butt and not be babied, but at first I think when they are hurting, that they need to feel love, almost to the point of being babied for a while, till they find their footing.
I was kind of shocked the first few times I saw the battles that went on here. The name calling and throwing the person's shortcomings and failures in their faces when they would not say the right thing or the right way. So when I saw the, what I considered a threat" (the gang will come after you so watch out, is what I took it to mean.) it was just the last straw for me. It wasn't that I chose Cowgirl, it could have been anyone. I just couldn't take it anymore.
Many of you have become close friends on here and I think that is probably one of the best things about this board. However it can also come across very badly to new people when it appears to be a gang mentality. I've recently seen Liz treated as is she didn't deserve the same respect as all of you deserved when you first came here looking for help. And not just Liz, there have been many that I have seen come and go mad and hurt. I've also noticed that many of the very dear people here that used to post often and helped many people have stopped when they crossed the invisible line put there by the "powers that be". I miss Marie, Rhonda, H. and many others that I saw bring so much love into this place.
I remember after I got clean and sober that I felt a bit superior to people that were where I used to be. I'd try to show them the way and when they didn't "get it" I'd get so frustrated and then blame them for my short temper and would excuse myself for my bad behavior. I think I've grown since then and realize that words are powerful tools, they can be used for good and can do great harm. Given that this is a site of nothing but words I think it would serve everyone in a positve way if all would think twice and write once with the other persons feelings in mind at all times.
I don't mean to sound preachy but come on guys...this is a terrific website when it's full of help and love. It can save so many lives from the destruction that drugs bring. Can we please be a safe place to fall even with tough love?
So many apologies are needed and so many should be given and everyone welcome...whether we post on a daily basis or just watch from the sidelines. You all have no idea how much good you do and how much harm is done when it goes bad.
Sorry I've taken so much space here and so much of your time for those who chose to read this. It really took a lot of courage for me to step out here and bare my soul, so to speak to all the people that I actually feel like I know since I've been following your "recovery board lives" for 3 months now, and you didn't even know I existed...and there are alot more out there just like me. That's why I never posted before though, for fear of being slammed.
I hope that you will all be kind and not be too harsh on me as I have a pretty sensitive heart, I break easily. So, with that said, goodnight and God bless each one of you.
dear clancy,
well said except for one thing. if you go back and read some of the post that were written on this site you will notice that one individual has been in the center of many arguments here. i do not think this a matter of a "gang" so to speak, it is just that some people here are very tired of a certain individuals constant name calling and treating others with much disrespect. she has been asked to leave before if she did not stop causing trouble. now she continues to do the same thing over and over again. what are we suppose to do here?
regards, EarthDog
well said except for one thing. if you go back and read some of the post that were written on this site you will notice that one individual has been in the center of many arguments here. i do not think this a matter of a "gang" so to speak, it is just that some people here are very tired of a certain individuals constant name calling and treating others with much disrespect. she has been asked to leave before if she did not stop causing trouble. now she continues to do the same thing over and over again. what are we suppose to do here?
regards, EarthDog
Hey Dog
Thanks for the reply...and with no harsh words, whew (as she wipes her brow!).
The way I feel about people that scream the loudest. that 9 times out of 10, they are the ones yelling for help the most. But because of their pain, it comes across in a way that makes it impossible for that person to receive exactly what it is they're searching for...love and acceptance. I have read the posts and I'm not sure when it all started, but seems to me that it was a very long time ago..who said what to whom things. I kind of see that person as a very loyal person who stands up at all cost for the underdog. I've seen her do that many times...when it wasn't even in her best interest. And I think that she is not afraid to speak her mind, that no one here intimidates her! I have seen her say and do some really caring and givng things for people. I'm guessing she's had a pretty tough life.
So, like I said, I think she needs to be treated with the same respect that everyone else deserves until she crosses the line and is asked to leave.
That's all I can think of in that case! My sister in law is a psychiatrist, want me to ask her? LOL She could help all of us!
Take Care
Clancy
Thanks for the reply...and with no harsh words, whew (as she wipes her brow!).
The way I feel about people that scream the loudest. that 9 times out of 10, they are the ones yelling for help the most. But because of their pain, it comes across in a way that makes it impossible for that person to receive exactly what it is they're searching for...love and acceptance. I have read the posts and I'm not sure when it all started, but seems to me that it was a very long time ago..who said what to whom things. I kind of see that person as a very loyal person who stands up at all cost for the underdog. I've seen her do that many times...when it wasn't even in her best interest. And I think that she is not afraid to speak her mind, that no one here intimidates her! I have seen her say and do some really caring and givng things for people. I'm guessing she's had a pretty tough life.
So, like I said, I think she needs to be treated with the same respect that everyone else deserves until she crosses the line and is asked to leave.
That's all I can think of in that case! My sister in law is a psychiatrist, want me to ask her? LOL She could help all of us!
Take Care
Clancy
Hi Clancy:
Thank you for posting. Sometimes our character defects come out in full force without us even noticing until we take a step back. Hopefully, we all do take a step back, daily and review our day and make amends wherever necessary, a 10th step. Everybody does deserve respect, without a doubt. The name calling is totally unnecessary and ugly. I am glad you chose to come forward and post. Welcome to the board.
RAch
Thank you for posting. Sometimes our character defects come out in full force without us even noticing until we take a step back. Hopefully, we all do take a step back, daily and review our day and make amends wherever necessary, a 10th step. Everybody does deserve respect, without a doubt. The name calling is totally unnecessary and ugly. I am glad you chose to come forward and post. Welcome to the board.
RAch
