Well I went out and did my regular routine today and made it through everything. But I certainly didn't enjoy it yet. Geez I wish I would get my energy back. It feels like it takes 10 minutes to walk 20 steps. Like slow motion. My head is a little clearer which I am thankful for but this is a very slow process. I thought it would be faster. I am still hopeful that I will wake up one of these mornings and feel a lot better. I hope.
Baby steps.
How long did it take you to feel better cowgirl?
Hey llh:
I posted with you a while back. I am glad to see you are still staying strong! 19 days is AWESOME!
You are really doing great! I know you are looking for that instant good feeling, but think about the word recovery...I mean, if you had just undergone a major surgery...you wouldn't just wake up out of surgery, in the "recovery" room and feel fantastic....right? It takes time.
Are you getting any exercise?
Do some research on endorphin release...foods, activities, etc. Take an active role in feeling better...and you will! It doesn't just happen, and I am as sorry as anyone as this isn't the case. IT comes, it just comes slowly.
Good luck to you! And Congratulations!
Sarah
I posted with you a while back. I am glad to see you are still staying strong! 19 days is AWESOME!
You are really doing great! I know you are looking for that instant good feeling, but think about the word recovery...I mean, if you had just undergone a major surgery...you wouldn't just wake up out of surgery, in the "recovery" room and feel fantastic....right? It takes time.
Are you getting any exercise?
Do some research on endorphin release...foods, activities, etc. Take an active role in feeling better...and you will! It doesn't just happen, and I am as sorry as anyone as this isn't the case. IT comes, it just comes slowly.
Good luck to you! And Congratulations!
Sarah
thanks Sarah! I'm trying.... I just feel a little discouraged tonight. Needed a pep talk.
llh:
I understand needing the pep talk! I needed lots of them too, still do sometimes, and I have always found the people here to be full of good advice, and well wishes. The nicest thing about this forum is someone is usually here to help.
I don't remember, if you have already shared this, but how long were you using?
Sarah
I understand needing the pep talk! I needed lots of them too, still do sometimes, and I have always found the people here to be full of good advice, and well wishes. The nicest thing about this forum is someone is usually here to help.
I don't remember, if you have already shared this, but how long were you using?
Sarah
off and on for several years, but all the time...... 3 or 4 times a day for 1 year.
llh..sorry, I clicked off last night.
It took me about 4 months to feel completely human (physically) again, it took a few more months to feel ok emotionally. And that didn't happen without alot of hard work.
But every day past the 2 week mark, I felt better and better. Some days better than most. The trick is to be patient and kind to yourself. You've put your body through hell, healing isn't going to happen over night.
Hang in there kiddo.
It took me about 4 months to feel completely human (physically) again, it took a few more months to feel ok emotionally. And that didn't happen without alot of hard work.
But every day past the 2 week mark, I felt better and better. Some days better than most. The trick is to be patient and kind to yourself. You've put your body through hell, healing isn't going to happen over night.
Hang in there kiddo.
How long were you using and how often? How long since you stopped? How do you feel now?
I used for 26 years. My DOC was percocet but I wasn't picky. On average I used 20-25 a day. Sometimes more. I've been clean now for almost 3 years (in April). After countless relapses something finally got through to me.
I go to NA and AA and have a sponsor.
I go to NA and AA and have a sponsor.
Can anyone out there tell me what rehab is like? I am doing this on my own (except with the help of all of you) but wondered what they do at a good rehab facility to help you. What is the usual length of stay for pills and how do they know when you are ready to leave? Has anyone had that experience?
I stayed for 28 days and never felt so safe in my life. Gave me a chance to catch my breath, get past the withdrawals and a heavy duty dose of NA and AA principals. Best thing that ever happend to me. Some are better than others, so researching is good. Have you told your family?
No, only my husband. I can't go to rehab now, but I wondered what it was like. How did you feel at 28 days when you came out... physically? Is there anything they do there that I might not realize I am missing? I understand the counseling but I feel very strong about not useing again, haven't had one weak moment in that department. I am so glad to be this far. I just feel like I need more information about what my body and brain are going through. I feel confused about how it is getting back to normal. It seems like once the drug is out of your system you should feel better physically. I still don't feel strong enough to do any heavy exercise, I try to walk as much as I can but I am still so weak. Is exercise and eating healthy really all you can do? Just time time time, I am so impatient. I keep sighing really loud and people ask me whats wrong. vitamins hurt my stomach and I have no appetite; I have to make myself eat and my bowels still arent normal. I feel nauseated a lot, I don't throw up just feel like I might so I can't eat much. I still feel so zapped. It is hard to move forward from here. I think my attitude is good, I am trying to tell myself that It will get better. But what really helps me the most right now is you guys telling me how much better it gets. thanks for responding. L
Where is everyone?
I'm here llh, let me know if you need to talk.
Michelle
Michelle
llh:
It really does get better. Today is Day 20 right? You are doing really well for Day 20. Try not to judge where you are in this process...just remember how hard it is and let that serve you always as a reminder of yet one more reason to never pick up again.
I will share a little about my withdrawal/detox process: I was, like you, physically zapped for a pretty long time, which blew me away...because I have always held a certain amount of pride as to "how productive" I am. I think this feeling that productive people are happier people, or better people, or whatever....is one of the set-ups for getting addicted to narcotics in the first place. For me, pain killers made me feel like SUPER WOMAN and there was no end to the amount of physical work I could get accomplished in a day. Amazing.
At a certain point, it quit working for me though, and I was just buzzing, but exhausted...and very, very, sad.
I was not prepared for how long I was going to feel the "weight" of sobriety. On one hand, my heart and my spirit were lifting, but on the other hand, my physical body was just spent. Well, it took me a while to realize...maybe all those nights of getting to school at 7AM and painting til 2 or 3AM had taken their toll? Maybe I needed and deserved a rest.
I know that my thinking process had been affected by long term opiate use...and so had my energy levels. I wasn't exactly sure what to do about it except take the advice of people here...trust that they knew better than me...and exercise. IT WAS A TOTAL PUSH, NOT ENJOYABLE....but VERY rewarding. I got out of my house...walked, rode my bike, took my dogs for walks...hiked, swam...whatever I could do to use my body and not my mind. It helped so much. It wasn't long before I realized I wasn't really thinking so much about the way I felt, which was a relief.
I had to return to school in September, and I was fairly terrified that I would not be able to hold up to the work standards that graduate school demands...but I am making it. I don't work near the hours I did last year, but I am okay with that. I am in my mid 40's, and I cannot work like a 20 year old anymore! I am glad to feel tired when I am tired...and stop and rest. It's okay!
Just be where you are...if you can, and know deep in your heart, that it won't be this way forever...and in the grand scheme of things...like getting your entire life back...it is a very small price to pay.
Have you made a gratitude list yet?
Sarah
It really does get better. Today is Day 20 right? You are doing really well for Day 20. Try not to judge where you are in this process...just remember how hard it is and let that serve you always as a reminder of yet one more reason to never pick up again.
I will share a little about my withdrawal/detox process: I was, like you, physically zapped for a pretty long time, which blew me away...because I have always held a certain amount of pride as to "how productive" I am. I think this feeling that productive people are happier people, or better people, or whatever....is one of the set-ups for getting addicted to narcotics in the first place. For me, pain killers made me feel like SUPER WOMAN and there was no end to the amount of physical work I could get accomplished in a day. Amazing.
At a certain point, it quit working for me though, and I was just buzzing, but exhausted...and very, very, sad.
I was not prepared for how long I was going to feel the "weight" of sobriety. On one hand, my heart and my spirit were lifting, but on the other hand, my physical body was just spent. Well, it took me a while to realize...maybe all those nights of getting to school at 7AM and painting til 2 or 3AM had taken their toll? Maybe I needed and deserved a rest.
I know that my thinking process had been affected by long term opiate use...and so had my energy levels. I wasn't exactly sure what to do about it except take the advice of people here...trust that they knew better than me...and exercise. IT WAS A TOTAL PUSH, NOT ENJOYABLE....but VERY rewarding. I got out of my house...walked, rode my bike, took my dogs for walks...hiked, swam...whatever I could do to use my body and not my mind. It helped so much. It wasn't long before I realized I wasn't really thinking so much about the way I felt, which was a relief.
I had to return to school in September, and I was fairly terrified that I would not be able to hold up to the work standards that graduate school demands...but I am making it. I don't work near the hours I did last year, but I am okay with that. I am in my mid 40's, and I cannot work like a 20 year old anymore! I am glad to feel tired when I am tired...and stop and rest. It's okay!
Just be where you are...if you can, and know deep in your heart, that it won't be this way forever...and in the grand scheme of things...like getting your entire life back...it is a very small price to pay.
Have you made a gratitude list yet?
Sarah
Hey L don't get discouraged the board is a little slow right now. I just get to sneak on every few hours so if you ask me a question I may not answer it right away. I am on day 11 and I do have some energy but I am pushing myself. As I said before I am a bit anal when it comes to my house I just don't feel my family should live in a messy house because I am an addict. Anyway if you read my post today I kind of feel blah. Nothing seems the least bit exciting to me but this to shall pass huh? Listen put your screen name in the search and read all your posts you may be doing better than you think. I just reread mine and I can't believe that I screwed up so bad I mean I was doing good. Well time to march forward as they say or rather crawl forward hee hee hang in there as will I from what I hear it does get better.
Roxy
Roxy
Sarah, we have a lot in common. I to am in my late 40's. I keep doubting myself. Thinking this can't be right and maybe something else is wrong with me. I guess that is just part of the process. If I am still having some physical symptoms then it has to still be working on me right? My body isn't back to normal yet. Did anyone else experience no appetite. I can't make myself eat and I have lost 15 pounds. Seems like I should be hungry by now. Does that mean my body just still hasn't let go? I went back and read some old posts for someone and they said they were so hungry and that is how they new their body was returning to normal. Did most of you take anitdeppressents at least for a while after quitting?
llh,
Congratulations! You went out and engaged the real world in the middle of w/ds? That's huge. You should be very proud of yourself.
Your body will find its balance. Just give it time.
Breathe.
Gina
xoxo
Congratulations! You went out and engaged the real world in the middle of w/ds? That's huge. You should be very proud of yourself.
Your body will find its balance. Just give it time.
Breathe.
Gina
xoxo
llh
I took AD before I quit using. To be perfectly honest they just screwed me up more, and the withdraws I felt coming off those wasn't fun either. I felt like I was being shocked every minute or so. I know the depression can be delibilating, but there is a difference between the withdraw depression and being clinically depressed. Talk with your doctor about it, but chances are in a couple of weeks you will be feeling so much better and won't need to take anything.
Hang in there, it will get easier.
Michelle
I took AD before I quit using. To be perfectly honest they just screwed me up more, and the withdraws I felt coming off those wasn't fun either. I felt like I was being shocked every minute or so. I know the depression can be delibilating, but there is a difference between the withdraw depression and being clinically depressed. Talk with your doctor about it, but chances are in a couple of weeks you will be feeling so much better and won't need to take anything.
Hang in there, it will get easier.
Michelle
