I have had my fill of this guy.
Okay, to make a long story short, a few weeks ago I had his wacky girlfriend and him try to place a temporary restraining order on me. For....get this....I dropped the kids off the weekend after thanksgiving and told him to deal with it.
He had agreed to watch them, and then backed out....as usual. Well, I held him accountable. I dropped them off friday night and came back on sunday morning.
So, a few weeks later his dumb girlfriend tries to get a TRO against me. I have spoken to this girl ONCE...she wrote out a few pages of lies and the judge immediately threw it out of court. The judge also ordered mediation, which the whacko gf insisted on being there..and I refused. Since we could not agree on who would attend the mediation, they wouldn't do it.
Okay, so he has his sister call me and ask for my girls...on Christmas Eve. Now, mind you, he tells my daughter "since your mom had you last year, I should get you this year...."
THIS a** DIDN'T EVEN CALL HIS DAUGHTERS LAST CHRISTMAS. NADA...zilch....nothing. Not even a phone call.
I told my daughter that he can see them on SATURDAY...he actually told my daughter that he would pick them up on sunday and drop them off mon or tuesday....
Opinions?? this guy is AGAIN shirking his child support payments, and that damn TRO thing was just the most ridiculous thing I have heard...
what would you do??
Hi kerry the thing to remember here is the kids its not about you and him its about doing whats right for your children, its one of the hardest situs to be in...emotions run high resentment etc im sure you will make the right choice for you and your children hun jaxxxxxxxxxx
This sucks Kerry,
What a tough call. What do the girls want to do, ask them....atleast let them have some say.
And still I sit in wonder as he picks his gfs kid up at school and leaves his own children upset and crying, beggin him for some attention. That is sick you know, real sick....
You know might want to call your lawyer. Even if it is only a message that he decided out of the blue to pick the girls up and while that in your head that would be great ( ok I know great is not how you see it ) you are afraid that he will start a big insane fight when you go to pick them up. Or not bring them back and with the TRO you are worried that they are just playing games.
Cover your a**....
Do you have any agreement on who has the kids for holidays, what days before or after or what times on holidays? If so follow what was set up. If you don't then well he really has no room to open his mouth, but as Jaxs said this isn't about him or you it is about the kids...
Deep breaths ok....
Love Yah,
Tina
What a tough call. What do the girls want to do, ask them....atleast let them have some say.
And still I sit in wonder as he picks his gfs kid up at school and leaves his own children upset and crying, beggin him for some attention. That is sick you know, real sick....
You know might want to call your lawyer. Even if it is only a message that he decided out of the blue to pick the girls up and while that in your head that would be great ( ok I know great is not how you see it ) you are afraid that he will start a big insane fight when you go to pick them up. Or not bring them back and with the TRO you are worried that they are just playing games.
Cover your a**....
Do you have any agreement on who has the kids for holidays, what days before or after or what times on holidays? If so follow what was set up. If you don't then well he really has no room to open his mouth, but as Jaxs said this isn't about him or you it is about the kids...
Deep breaths ok....
Love Yah,
Tina
thanks, jax. the only reason i consider it is because my daughter wants to go. he, however, doesn't always understand the ideas of not talking negatively about the other parent..
Merry Christmas, jackie.
Merry Christmas, jackie.
Talk to your kids and see what they want. I'm afraid if you send them Saturday, will he bring them back Sunday? Or will he bring them when Christmas is over? If you can't trust him, maybe send them Christmas day in the late afternoon or evening? I'm not sure what arrangement you have set up, if any. But if he was a no call, no show last year, then he doesn't get to make demands for this year. What a jerk! And why on earth would the girlfriend be a part of mediation? So sorry you have to deal with this. I wish I could offer better advice, but I don't have children. (((HUGS))))
Kerry- My x as we all know has never paid a dime. He wanted them this Christmas and I let him but we discussed it in probably July. My opinion you can refuse on the pure fact that it took him this long to decide what he was doing. WTF is that all about? When s*** like this happens you just have to take the rational road. If he was intent on taking them for Christmas it should have been discussed a long time ago.
If you feel compelled do a half and half thing. But let him know that you need to work a schedule out in advance on the holidays next time.
Hang in there girl its almost over.......its almost over...its almost over.
It's become my mantra. LOL
Love,
Jane
If you feel compelled do a half and half thing. But let him know that you need to work a schedule out in advance on the holidays next time.
Hang in there girl its almost over.......its almost over...its almost over.
It's become my mantra. LOL
Love,
Jane
Ker- You obviously need a firm holiday schedule. Of course, your daughters want to see him. However, they are also experiencing some anxiety because Mom and Dad are fighting. You can do a couple of things. For this year, if he agrees to a firm court ordered holiday schedule going forward, I would let them go on Christmas Day and he can bring them back Tuesday. Pick them up say, at noon. Screw the "You had them last year" blah blah blah". Too confusing for the kids. In my first marriage, my ex and I worked it so that she got them Christmas Eve, I got them Christmas Day. She had them New Years Eve, I got them New Yearrs Day. She got them Easter Morning, I got them Easter afternoon, she got them Memorial Day and 4th of July, I got them Labor Day. That way, the kids new well in advance, there were no false expectations or arguments. If he decides to skip his day, well, too bad. He lost that day.
Hey Kerry,BOY can I relate,.....at least to the no child support.Amandas dad is NOW up to about 20,000.And keep in mind it doesnt mean too much to me as long as he stays away from my beautiful girls...what bothers me is I think of those times I was a single mom & all the nice things my girls went without!!!
Thankfully they havent had to see him in 7 years nor do they want to.So as much as the money would be nice,I like it better knowing that this sick pervet can no longer harm either of my girls
Lets face it Kerry .....some men (SOME) are nothing more than sperm donors!!!!
molly
Thankfully they havent had to see him in 7 years nor do they want to.So as much as the money would be nice,I like it better knowing that this sick pervet can no longer harm either of my girls
Lets face it Kerry .....some men (SOME) are nothing more than sperm donors!!!!
molly
Kerry as your children get older they will understand that dad is a assole but dont let them resent you for making their choices. When a spilt happens poeple forget that the children still love both parents its so hard to try to be understanding when you see your kids let down or hurt. Its a tough one for ya hun but dont let it spoil your christmas time, hold your head up high and know that you are doing what is best whatever that is in your situ. merry christmas hun jaxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Jaxs !!!! Hello sweety....Ya know you are so right!! As hard as it was (& it was hard)when the girls were younger I bit my tounge over & over as far as saying anything mean about thier dad.I mean they loved him & by my saying anything mean it would of hurt them.
Now Amanda is 18 & her dad wrote to her about 6 mths ago,she wrote back that she no longer wants any contact with him,she remembers alot of real horriable things(things a child should NEVER have to see & know about)& my youngest...well shes always been a mommys girl.But she is scared to death of this man.
Kids know & they know as they get older who was there for them & who was the one harming them....
As hard as it is to know what my daughters went through,it helps knowing that they realized things on thier own without my input
Jax Have a wonderful hoilday!!!!
Molly
Now Amanda is 18 & her dad wrote to her about 6 mths ago,she wrote back that she no longer wants any contact with him,she remembers alot of real horriable things(things a child should NEVER have to see & know about)& my youngest...well shes always been a mommys girl.But she is scared to death of this man.
Kids know & they know as they get older who was there for them & who was the one harming them....
As hard as it is to know what my daughters went through,it helps knowing that they realized things on thier own without my input
Jax Have a wonderful hoilday!!!!
Molly
You too molls jaxxxxxxxxx
kerry...............
i really dont have any advice but i did want to give ya a (((((((big hug))))))
so sory you have to deal with this.............
i wish the gf would stay out of this...........that would really piss me off..
dealing with her on top of this.....she is really trying to show her behind...
he did not even CALL last christmas...........???.....thats mean
thats not very nice and i bet it hurt your childern................
so i will say a prayer for you and your family this christmas .........
congrats on school.............your an awsome moma and your pursuing your dreams...........
merry christmas
i really dont have any advice but i did want to give ya a (((((((big hug))))))
so sory you have to deal with this.............
i wish the gf would stay out of this...........that would really piss me off..
dealing with her on top of this.....she is really trying to show her behind...
he did not even CALL last christmas...........???.....thats mean
thats not very nice and i bet it hurt your childern................
so i will say a prayer for you and your family this christmas .........
congrats on school.............your an awsome moma and your pursuing your dreams...........
merry christmas
Thanks all for your advice...
It is funny, this year, I have the money to fill the house. But, of course, the island is out of bikes (my fault; I should know this running out game by now..LOL.() and gameboys...so we got some neat stuff. Last night, my older girl helpedme wrap her sister's presents. I got both of them a cool snorkle set ....a really neat one. My Kaili said "I hope I get one of these...this is cool! Maybe she will share it with me...." I know she will love hers.
Anyway, I didn't do the mediation because the gf insisted she was part of it. WTF? This girl attempted to get a RESTRAINING ORDER against me. I have spoken to her ONCE. Since her daughter goes to the same school as mine, I see her daily. If I wanted to harass her, I have had ample opportunity to do so. I don't even talk to her.
Anyway, I told him he can take them tonight, and I will pick them up tomorrow. I am worried about him keeping them; but he knows I can call the cops and he CAN get in trouble; I have custody. He called the cops on me for dropping them off; but they did nothing about it...
What made me mad was right before finals, I spent the day in court for nothing. Real dumb. And his gf lies....she has alterior motives.
Jane, how is your xmas going??? I got a great antipasto recipie if you want it from this awesome Dago lady...just let me know...lol.
Hugs to all of you!
It is funny, this year, I have the money to fill the house. But, of course, the island is out of bikes (my fault; I should know this running out game by now..LOL.() and gameboys...so we got some neat stuff. Last night, my older girl helpedme wrap her sister's presents. I got both of them a cool snorkle set ....a really neat one. My Kaili said "I hope I get one of these...this is cool! Maybe she will share it with me...." I know she will love hers.
Anyway, I didn't do the mediation because the gf insisted she was part of it. WTF? This girl attempted to get a RESTRAINING ORDER against me. I have spoken to her ONCE. Since her daughter goes to the same school as mine, I see her daily. If I wanted to harass her, I have had ample opportunity to do so. I don't even talk to her.
Anyway, I told him he can take them tonight, and I will pick them up tomorrow. I am worried about him keeping them; but he knows I can call the cops and he CAN get in trouble; I have custody. He called the cops on me for dropping them off; but they did nothing about it...
What made me mad was right before finals, I spent the day in court for nothing. Real dumb. And his gf lies....she has alterior motives.
Jane, how is your xmas going??? I got a great antipasto recipie if you want it from this awesome Dago lady...just let me know...lol.
Hugs to all of you!
Kerry, I don't know what to tell you about your ex and the gf...she must be a nut job...I hope that your Christmas goes well...I've never been divorced or split up, so I have no advice....but I would love your antipasto recipe....I haven't had one since I left CT back in 83...you can email it to me at bumps@jam.rr.com...if you don't mind...
Kerry I read your description of warm and bikes and Christmas. It sounds so nice. It is freezing with snow all over here. I just went out hopefully for the last time. I feel good about what I got the kids. Thier dad has them Christmas day so it will be a little too quiet here but I am feeling decent not all meloncholy at all. I bought some good food and snacks and soda for Christmas evening. I should be alright. Sounds like you worked out with your ex shwew! Have a good Christmas. I will be thinking of you over ther all nice and toasty. Love you.
Jane
Jane
Ya know, miss jane, the grass must be greener because I would die to have just one snowy christmas....lol. It is 85 and beautiful here; it is so hard to get into the spirit.
I am glad you feel better about Xmas...I cherish any alone time I get. Seriously...just do something for you. I will be thinking of you also and wishing you warm thoughts..lol.
I took some pictures and if I can figure out the "easy" share (not) I will post them....
bumps, I will email that. a cool dago lady sent it to me...
I am glad you feel better about Xmas...I cherish any alone time I get. Seriously...just do something for you. I will be thinking of you also and wishing you warm thoughts..lol.
I took some pictures and if I can figure out the "easy" share (not) I will post them....
bumps, I will email that. a cool dago lady sent it to me...
I just dropped the girls off and I said a few things to her.
She told me that she did the TRO to "teach me a lesson to respect their schedules."
Really? Like they have any respect for mine? I told her that my ex and his boss have a "lesson" of their own coming.
I think CSEA is finally going to put legal action against his boss for not following the laws regarding income withholding. He already got hauled into court once; and I will do it again. He still is playing games. The csea said that if he doesn't respond to the last letter they wrote, they are going to get the attorneys to file charges against him. I told them I would be the most greatful person on the planet....
I am mad at myself because I even opened mymouth. I was shaking. next time I will do better...I just now refuse to give her any power. She has no idea what she is signing up for; I actually should just pity the dumbass.
I just wanted to wrap my hands around her neck.
But, I didn't.
She told me that she did the TRO to "teach me a lesson to respect their schedules."
Really? Like they have any respect for mine? I told her that my ex and his boss have a "lesson" of their own coming.
I think CSEA is finally going to put legal action against his boss for not following the laws regarding income withholding. He already got hauled into court once; and I will do it again. He still is playing games. The csea said that if he doesn't respond to the last letter they wrote, they are going to get the attorneys to file charges against him. I told them I would be the most greatful person on the planet....
I am mad at myself because I even opened mymouth. I was shaking. next time I will do better...I just now refuse to give her any power. She has no idea what she is signing up for; I actually should just pity the dumbass.
I just wanted to wrap my hands around her neck.
But, I didn't.
Kerry,
Sorry to butt in on your thread. But, could you email me at jroach1279@sbcglobal.net?
I have some personal questions for you...too personal for here. And I'd like your email.
I just relate to you so much.
If it takes some time for me to get back to you, please understand.
I think you know where I'm coming from though.
Thanks,
Jodi
Sorry to butt in on your thread. But, could you email me at jroach1279@sbcglobal.net?
I have some personal questions for you...too personal for here. And I'd like your email.
I just relate to you so much.
If it takes some time for me to get back to you, please understand.
I think you know where I'm coming from though.
Thanks,
Jodi
Don't even give her the satisfaction of letting her know she is pissing you off that is what she wants. My older sister trys to get to me like that with her little digs but I refuse to let her get to me. Hang in there. Shantel
Jodi, I sent you a e-mail did you get it? Shantel
