I had my appointment at the Hospital today... ONLY to be told I have to go through my GP to get Campral!!! I've waited f***ing months for this appointment and all they can say is go to your GP! I feel like I've wasted 3 months... why do people not tell you these things!!???
The bloke I saw says he doesn't think they'll prescribe me antabuse because I have a history of overdosing!!!
He was a right pretentious little runt... he can just f*** off and die...
I'm furious about all this... They tell me to do it all myself... other people get help... what the f*** is so different about me???
As soon as I mentioned I was diagnosed with BPD his face just fell... total discrimination... none of the health service here wants to deal with people like me... coz we're so 'difficult'.
I'm fed up of all this... nothing ever moves forward...
Izzy X
Hey Iz.....I'm so sorry your doctor's visit went so bad. I can't believe that it is soo hard to get antabuse there. Do you have a GP that you go to regularly? Mine here in the states prescribed it no problem but he also warned that it could be life threatening if I did overdose on it. Don't be discouraged my friend. The fact that you have been vigilant in getting help for yourself and not wanting to drink anymore is a good sign. Don't give up! I can't remember if you went to your doctor in the first place and he said he couldn't give Antabuse. Call him asap and tell him you are in dire straights and you need help. Please keep us posted and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Valarie
Valarie
Hi Valarie... I'm going to see my GP tomorrow but I don't hold out much hope... they all seem to think they know my situation better than I do... It's my age... that's why nobody takes me seriously...
The wanker at the Hospital did say I might get an in patient program in time... like another f***ing 3 months!!!!
What is it with this place???
Thanks for your lovely post though Val... means a lot...
Izzy X
The wanker at the Hospital did say I might get an in patient program in time... like another f***ing 3 months!!!!
What is it with this place???
Thanks for your lovely post though Val... means a lot...
Izzy X
Izzy
what a sad state of affairs. You re in UK right? There was a poster on another board who has an absolute horror story about trying to get help for pregnant addict daughter who is in UK - and gets zero help.
You are doing so great in that you keep fighting for yourself despite these setbacks - that says to me that you have a GREAT chance at recovery cause you keep fighting.
I wanted to suggest to you again that you try AA. An AA member who is a friend of mine has BPD and while she doesn't go to many meetings (they are hard for her) she works the program very diligently and has found in AA an excellent sponsor. Her sponsor has researched BPD extensively in order to help this woman. She also sees a psychitrist and gets a lot of help from him.
But anyway the point is, she has said with the help of her psych, her sponsor and God she will be 21 years sober this week.
There are people out there who will be willing to help you and won't turn away from you just because you have BPD. Don't lose hope. This friend of mine struggles mightily with her BPD but has managed to build a very satisfactory life for herself and stay sober over 20 years. Pretty impressive.
Focus on one day at a time and don't give up.
Idgie
what a sad state of affairs. You re in UK right? There was a poster on another board who has an absolute horror story about trying to get help for pregnant addict daughter who is in UK - and gets zero help.
You are doing so great in that you keep fighting for yourself despite these setbacks - that says to me that you have a GREAT chance at recovery cause you keep fighting.
I wanted to suggest to you again that you try AA. An AA member who is a friend of mine has BPD and while she doesn't go to many meetings (they are hard for her) she works the program very diligently and has found in AA an excellent sponsor. Her sponsor has researched BPD extensively in order to help this woman. She also sees a psychitrist and gets a lot of help from him.
But anyway the point is, she has said with the help of her psych, her sponsor and God she will be 21 years sober this week.
There are people out there who will be willing to help you and won't turn away from you just because you have BPD. Don't lose hope. This friend of mine struggles mightily with her BPD but has managed to build a very satisfactory life for herself and stay sober over 20 years. Pretty impressive.
Focus on one day at a time and don't give up.
Idgie
Hi there Izzy, I concur with Idgie's post...remember you helped me when I was searching out info on the gal I'm sponsoring who has been diagnosed with BPD? You got me into researching info about it and it has helped me out a lot. She is doing quite well and is living in a sober living house. She has almost three months of sobriety...and attends meetings on a daily basis. In fact, she comes over every Monday night and joins me and my daughter for dinner and then we get right into action, right into the Big Book. Believe me, she is not the only one who suffers from BPD at the meetings...and has found others there who identify with her and have helped her get thru things and learn how to cope a little better. I'm sorry you are havng a rough time of it, especially within the medical community, boy it makes me grateful that I live over here...I've never heard of such a thing.
Hey Izzy way to go with the venting, you didn't mention drinking, cutting or death and that is such a positive. You said nothing moves forward, look again Izzy you are the one moving forward, you can make a differance. Whats another 3 months to wait for the in house treatment you will be so much stronger. Use the anger you have to resolve yourself to being sober one day at a time. You be the one going forward.
I know a guy in recovery who was leaving the lock up at a mental institution and the doctor laughed at him and said youll never do it see you soon, Well that fella has been sober 25 years and yes granted the first 6 years of being sober were just soley to pi*s the doctor off, he kept going to meetings and has helped so many others.
What I'm saying is you can make a difference and one day you just might be helping people in the same situation you are in now cope.
Keep ya head up Izzy and keep posting you really are moving forward.
Light and love Zac
I know a guy in recovery who was leaving the lock up at a mental institution and the doctor laughed at him and said youll never do it see you soon, Well that fella has been sober 25 years and yes granted the first 6 years of being sober were just soley to pi*s the doctor off, he kept going to meetings and has helped so many others.
What I'm saying is you can make a difference and one day you just might be helping people in the same situation you are in now cope.
Keep ya head up Izzy and keep posting you really are moving forward.
Light and love Zac
You'll never believe this... I just recalled it today... the bloke at the Hospital discouraged me from stopping drinking like just going cold turkey... as I might have seizures...??? Anyone heard that one before??? I would have thought it was the other way round???
I'm seeing the doc tomorrow now... hopefully I'll get a bit further forward with this... if I don't I am going to be really angry... there just seems to be no imidiate help on offer here at all...
Izzy X
I'm seeing the doc tomorrow now... hopefully I'll get a bit further forward with this... if I don't I am going to be really angry... there just seems to be no imidiate help on offer here at all...
Izzy X
Hi Izzy
I had a friend when I was new to sobriety that couldn't stay sober. After about a month she started drinking again...vodka. When I was about 7-8 months sober she was going to move into a halfway house. She lied and told them she had stopped drinking months before but she had been drinking up to the day she went in. She went in on a Friday. They found her dead from seizures Saturday morning. Yes, alcohol and benzo withdrawal are the most dangerous. In the early days of AA, before treatment centers, they always kept booze around to help newcomers detox.
I had a friend when I was new to sobriety that couldn't stay sober. After about a month she started drinking again...vodka. When I was about 7-8 months sober she was going to move into a halfway house. She lied and told them she had stopped drinking months before but she had been drinking up to the day she went in. She went in on a Friday. They found her dead from seizures Saturday morning. Yes, alcohol and benzo withdrawal are the most dangerous. In the early days of AA, before treatment centers, they always kept booze around to help newcomers detox.
Fabulous...! I can't win with this disease... I don't drink spirits at all... just wine and the odd beer... Right now I'm in the process of cutting it down from 1 1/2 bottles a night (with one or two sober days a week) to well... half of that! I don't want to cut it right out now in case he's right and I end up worse than I am now. f***ing seizures! Geeze... they don't tell you that when you're in self destruct mode do they??
I don't have any problems with my liver or my blood... surely that counts for something against it??? Anyone else with relevant experiences???
Izzy X
I don't have any problems with my liver or my blood... surely that counts for something against it??? Anyone else with relevant experiences???
Izzy X
Izzy, if you cut down on your intake you'll be all right. It's when alcohol is stopped abruptly that the DT's start. If you can go a few days without drinking and not have seizures you're still ok. If you continue drinking more and more, and just stop, that's when seizures occur. That's why a medical detox is the best way to go. They will give you medication until the withdrawal is over. Then you have to learn to stay sober.
Hey Izzy,
Sorry havent been able to answer this post but been on the road,
Doctors wouldnt give me antiabuse either, i asked heaps of times with no luck, but they would give me tenuate dosipan which is like speed if ya take enough!
Now Campral is good Izzy I used them, sure you dont get sick if you drink on them, but they work in away to stop the urges,and I swear by them,
I also took naltrexone, works to but crickey made me feel ill,
Give Campral a go Izzy, let me know how you go,
Your freind Ginge
Sorry havent been able to answer this post but been on the road,
Doctors wouldnt give me antiabuse either, i asked heaps of times with no luck, but they would give me tenuate dosipan which is like speed if ya take enough!
Now Campral is good Izzy I used them, sure you dont get sick if you drink on them, but they work in away to stop the urges,and I swear by them,
I also took naltrexone, works to but crickey made me feel ill,
Give Campral a go Izzy, let me know how you go,
Your freind Ginge
Izzy, Not sure if you read the post about how I detoxed at my sister's house...I detoxed with a six pack of beer to prevent seizures (tapering down)...got to the Doctor after a couple of days taper and then the Doctor put me on Librium, 6 pills the first day, then every day I would check in with her and she slowly tapered me down off those. My vitals were checked on a daily basis too...basically I was a mess, but hey I made it thru and you can too!
Hey Ginge and everyone! I got Campral today... I have to cut the drinking down over a week to two or three units then start the Campral...
I'm really pleased... the Doc was great... the only person I've talked about this to who hasn't put me down or told me to do it all myself....
I'm still pissed I have been on a wild goose chase these past months...
Anyway... I hope this will be a huge help...
Izzy X
I'm really pleased... the Doc was great... the only person I've talked about this to who hasn't put me down or told me to do it all myself....
I'm still pissed I have been on a wild goose chase these past months...
Anyway... I hope this will be a huge help...
Izzy X
Izzy, How goes it now? Are you feeling better? I hope the Campral works well for you. Let us know how you are doing.
Hi VWGirl... I'm starting to panic a bit... cutting it back is hard but I'm determined to do it... I want to quit it's such a horrible habit is drinking...
Anyway I'll let you all know how I go with the Campral...
Izzy X
Anyway I'll let you all know how I go with the Campral...
Izzy X
That is great news Izzy - you should be so proud of yourself. I know you can do this. Give your panic to yur Higher Power - and just work slowly through each day. don't try to look too far ahead.
Idgie
Idgie
Izzy, you've got the willingness to stop the insanity (drinking) I can read it in your posts...remember each and everyone of us who is in recovery had to put down the drink and be newly sober too...you can do it....you'll make it thru...you're gonna be okay.
Hey Izzy keep posting whatever is going on for you and if you are feeling like drinking read the i will not drink today threads and the gratitude threads and think about AA as an option because there is really good support to be found there.
Keep up the will to be sober Izzy as it does get better and you are never alone.
Light and love Zac
Keep up the will to be sober Izzy as it does get better and you are never alone.
Light and love Zac
Thanks guys.... I'm on my last day of drinking now... only got a couple of beers.... have taken 4 Campral today... still got 2 to take tonight. Tomorrow is the first day I haven't to drink...
I am a bit anxious about it because it's such a habit you know... a certain day you like to settle down and have a drink.... But on the other hand... when I drink now... I never really feel like I want it....
Anyway time will tell... I really want to stop...
Izzy X
I am a bit anxious about it because it's such a habit you know... a certain day you like to settle down and have a drink.... But on the other hand... when I drink now... I never really feel like I want it....
Anyway time will tell... I really want to stop...
Izzy X
