Goin Back & Changin Time

Pain Pills
1
i was just thinking about the good old days, when things were fun , 16 , 17 years old & drugs were there, but they were a background thing before they took over. They were part of going out and haveing fun.
& i think of the guys and girls i was friends with, or had fun with , or whatever they were. There were some magical times & even though we werent good kids, we were more innocent then we thought.
i wonder how things would have turned out if we had learned some sense of reality, & genuinely learned & cared about the dangers. if we had somehow stuck to beer & maybe weed & fun & had some sense of direction.
It was such a mystical, dreamy , exciting time, but ultimately it turned into something no one expected.
All those young kids, all those burned out adults, all those dreams destroyed & the death & insanity & addiction and desctruction of life.
it was such a dreamy time for a while, but the growing & the changing, & the addiction took on a new life for all of us. a lot wasn't just drugs, just the painfull pasing of youth, & we were left with nothing, but drugs & memories of transient things that the dissapearnce of were too hard to deal with, at least for me.
i know it does no good to wish u could have done different, but sometimes i wonder what different i could have done, or if givin a chance i would have done the same.
2
Hi Dog, interesting thought to ponder. I'd like to think I'd go back and do it differently, but who knows? It was a fun and youthfully mystical time, too hard to let go of I guess. I'm in a mellow type mood now just from reading your post and remembering the very time you speak of. Thanks for the memory! Much love, Kat
3
i miss those people a lot, even though they don't exist anymore, & neither do we in the same way. but i think of some of those nights, they were just fun & bonding & the world was before us & we knew that we new everything. they were like the family we didnt have & i even miss some of the people i didn't like. its like something that ended with no one knowing it was & no goodbye. Suddenly it was gone, and we didn't know it until after it was over. I still wish i could spend one inncoent night on my friend Gerrys (whose dead) front poarch, like we did a million times, with all the old guys (at least a coulple crazy & many dead) & have one last goodbye where we could feel like we felt then. In some ways, that was the best of my life.
4
Hey Harry -

You just gave me a flashback of going to the clubs, dancing our a$$es off, yeah, smoking a little you know, doing a little of this - BUT that wasnt the MOST important things in our lives - Dancing to Bad Company, Bob Segar, Aerosmith, Doobie Brothers and oh - all the concernts - yes I was a major groupie!!!!!! Got pics of me with Steven Tyler, Jon Bon Jovi and couple more which someone STOLE off my refrigerator - could you imagine???? Pissed me off!!! Anyway, I know what you're talking about - the good ol days - I didnt wake up thinking about taking a pill or nothing - just wanted to hang out at the beach or go skinny dipping in a rockpit - whatever. It was so cool back then.

Love,
Marie
5
i think part of what happened is the good times ended and all we had left was the drugs, or the drugs ended the good times, or we grew & changed without realizing it, or all of those things happened. But it sure was innocent in a lot of ways, but looking back i think i saw the change coming. i think it began wn some guys (& girls) started shooting & doing h, and that became more of the thing then doing things. that was the first time i really quit, tried to live a 'straight life' with my girlfriend. trouble was, i didn't know what that ment or how to do it or what to substitute. if i had found the right help & guidance back then, i think that was the time that would have saved me. but i was goaless & didn't really know what a person was supposed to do. Wn my girlfriend broke up with me, i started using again. thats my pattern, always a woman (LOL)
6
Marie, did u ever meet Lou Reed?
7
No - cant say that I met Lou Reed - I understand completely where youre coming from though - that was the beginning of it all - but it just seemed so carefree and innocent at the time - never once worried about becoming an addict. Back then coke was my DOC - snorted H a couple of times but puked my guts out - I still liked it tho :o) didnt like needles tho - thank God - and I never considered myself an addict because I could do with or without the blow - I feel the only thing I've ever been addicted to was the friggen painkillers - and I didnt realize that until it was too late. It sucks. I wish I never took a pain pill.

Love,
Marie

8
ya know, i was thinking more about those days, and the pre-drug days with the same people. we used to try and get high by smoking tea (liptons) & stuff and used to end up buying nickle bags of what turned out to be oregano. but it seemed like we were always high. sneaking out at night, and if we were lucky meeting girls to sneak out with. not even sex, just kissing & stuff, but it was so exciting & life was so full & doing stupid things like borrowing cars with keys in them & returning them (hope the statute of limitations is up, lets see, i was about 12 or 13, so i guess it was 40 years ago). I remember on New Years eve standing outside in the freezing cold & drinking beers with the guys & then going out & doing something. & there were dances ( i couldn't dance) & girls to meet at them (who didn't seem to have much interest in me) and if all else failed we could get into a fight. But in my memories, it always seems like we were high, even though we weren't. But we were just high on being with each other & doing exciting things, & we had so much piss & vinegar & energy, that wn u were out, all ur problems vanished.
9
Until pain pills, I partied a lot, but it was kind of "take it or leave it".... Working in a strip club, you're around coke and ecstasy all the time and I always saw no harm in doing it every now and then..... We were all just having fun...

LSD was the first drug I ever tried (imagine that... and they always worry about people starting out on pot). I was 15 years old and an honor student.... some new friends of mine had it and I tried it and LOVED it....

I partied WAY too much, pretty much every weekend, until I was 19 yrs old... then I quit and didn't touch the stuff except maybe once or twice until the year 2000. That summer I got kind of crazy and partied a lot, but it still wasn't an every day thing....

So many anti-drug programs talk about coke and crack the most, but pain pills are what have screwed up my life. I could drink 10-15 shots of tequila in one night, every night, at work, and then quit no problem... if I didn't want to drink, I didn't drink.... these pain pills have such a hold over me, like no party drug ever did....
10
i think part of it is because they cover so much pain in everyday life & u can function so well on them & when all else fails, no matter what, they work
11
You're probably right.... you can't really drink or take ecstasy during the day and go to work and function like a normal person....

But with pain pills, I could take them and accomplish anything and no one ever knew I was on anything... Plus, since I had a real reason for taking them, even those that knew I was on them didn't think much about it because they were prescribed by my doctor.

Being able to take them anytime, anywhere, only upgraded the potential for abuse...
12


Man!!!!!!!You guys are making me want to cry. You are telling my story! Danielle, the first drug (except pot) I ever did was LSD, also. At 15 years old. Did it and went to Underground Atlanta on a fake ID and had a blast! The guy who drove us kids that night is now my husband of 26 years. He never took anything then or now, but was always the life of the party without it and didn't mind if we did. I tried everything on the menu at least once, some many times. Never H, though. And never a needle. But, the times we had do seem mystical now. It was a rare and wonderful time to be young. All the concerts and festivals. Kids today have no idea how different it was. My 22 yr. old daughter can not fathom the stories we tell.
I have lost a lot of friends to tragedy. My husband and I know that we are very lucky to be here now after some of the wild and stupid things we did in the name of fun! We actually still see many of our old gang from our teenage years. Very blessed in that respect. My husband's "group" turned 50 this year and there were many parties. I am 2 years younger. We still live 50 miles from our hometown and have a business there.
But who knew by "having fun" and "experimenting" I was starting down the road that brought me to this board today? Since my early twenties, there has not been any period when I wasn't using something regularly. Be it pot, Qualudes (remember 714's???), meth, coke, etc. But, I was never addicted to anything until I grew up, became a mom and responsible citizen in my community. LOL!!
Thanks for the memories, guys!
13
LMAO......OH Trideltmom, I just read your post to Browndog and saw about the 714's......My hubby could tell you some stories. He has that number tattooed on his arm......A symbol of his misspent youth......
Hope you are well today.....
Tina
14


I'm LMAO off right now just remembering some of the mishaps from those babies! No wonder they took them off the market and thank GOD they did!!!! hehehehehehe........he had it tatooed on his arm?????? THat is hilarious!

I hope your day is going good. Today is day 29 for me and it was GREAT!
TTFN!
15
OMG you guys - boy do I remember Rorer 714s and then they came out with the Lemon 714s - remeber the tuinals (red and blue caps) I did try so many different drugs, but just like Danielle said - I could take it or leave it. And believe me, the people I used to hang with in Miami had plenty of everything in supply - but I NEVER became addicted to any of that stuff. Now here I am 42 years old, addicted to friggen PAINKILLERS. I STILL cant believe this happened to me. The more I took, the more I thought to myself "no big deal, I can stop whenever I want"- God, was I in for a rude awakening. It messes with your head SO BAD - its such a horrible addiction. But, here I sit, and I have to deal with it - no other choice. What a bummer!!! Talking about the old days brought a smile to my face Browndog - thanks for bringing it up.

Love,
Marie
16
Heck, I smoked a lot of pot and took a lot of acid (hey it was 1976!) but stopped that stuff entirely at about 20. I wish I could go back to '76, knowing what I do now. I'm 45. Think about having the wisdom you do now as a teenager..we would all be RICH! Or at least, richer!
17
Man, you guys made me remember so much. There must be a pattern here.....lol. Oh, who cares if it's related to addiction? It sure was fun. Bon fires on the beach, ZZ top, fleetwood Mac, ACDC, grateful Dead concerts....just to name a few. Anybody ever been to a deadhead concert? A totally unique experience. Trips to Santa Cruz with nothing but a sleeping bag and alot of nerve. You know how dangerous that would be now? Course my parents never knew about it even then, lol. Thanks for the memories guys! Love, Kat
18
I'm only 32 so I don't remember all the stuff you're talking about.... but I do think it's funny that all of these anti-drug programs warn against so many drugs and yet the people that I know that are addicted to anything are addicted to pills. I never heard about the dangers of pain killers in high school.... Here they were saying that pot is a "gateway drug" and warning you about cocaine and it's the legal stuff that got me in the most trouble.

The things you do when you are young and stupid, though, huh?
19
Nostalgia!

The beaches and bonfires, the "cruising", skating, malls, parties, friends, girlfriends, beer, first car, $5 for gas and your set, stuffed animals, stealing hairbrushes from girls, VH, AC/DC, skippin school and watching MTV (before it sucked!), camping, kegs, high school sports, proms, football games, six flags...
20
Eddie, I wouldn't want to be 16 again, but I do miss some of that stuff!!! I was the queen of sneaking out my window at night... I was in Honors Society during the day and hell on wheels at night.... Of course, in New Orleans, you had a fake ID at 15 and hung out at bars so you grew up really fast, but there was a lot of innocence in all of that, too. THAT'S what I miss...