Hey guys....thanks for all the posts...and for thinking about me....i have been in jail....my H and i got in a fight 2 saturday's ago (the 15th my b-day) and i wasn't able to come home when i did get released on Friday (the 21st). Now i'm home. I thought i had hit my bottom before! HA HA HA ! That wasn't it! I sure have now....my H beat me and tried to come back the next day...and i pulled a knife out of my cupboard and said "You had better get the f*** out of here before i kill you!" and he called the cops and i got hauled off to jail. But now i have spoken to the District Attorney, and showed HIM all of my bruises and such...and he is letting me off, w/ 1 yr probation. I still think i got screwed, but at the same time, i have never been on probation before, so i think it will be a BIG help in keeping me sober. I have sooo much to say... but that's about it 4 now.
Love, Jayde;)
Jayde, I'm so sorry you had such an awful exprience and week... but SO glad to hear from you, we have been really worried! I hope you will not be going back to your H... what about your son? Was he there when all this bad stuff went down?? I hope that you and he are both OK. It is NOT ok to stay with someone who treats you that way! Please, find another place to be... I don't want to preach to you or pretend I know what you're going through but also don't want you to end up in the hospital or worse! I don't have too many words of wisdom for you, but I am here, and care for you, and thinking of you!! Please try to stay in touch, read some of the posts from while you were away, everyone is here for you and cares! Much love and hugs coming your way... keep posting whenever you can... and as you would say...
(((((((Jayde)))))))
(((((((Jayde)))))))
OMG Jayde....I am sooo sorry to hear that happened to you. GD men sometimes think they can just manhandle us! I was infuriated when I read your post! I was in a very abusive relationship about 12 years ago so I know exactly how you feel. Oh my gosh my friend if there is anything I can do to help please let me know. I just wanna go there and kick his a**!!! f***er!!!! You do have to find a safe place to go? Is your H apologizing and the usual crap that comes after a beating? Please be strong and stay sober through this hell! Know that we are all pulling for you my friend.
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Jayde,
Wow, I can relate to the insanity of an alcoholic marriage, that's for sure...I stayed in mine for 20 years! I've shared what works for me and that I surely don't want you to wait as long as I did before I got the courage to change my life. However, the impact on my daughters has been huge; I can't change the past, but the remorse of what they saw and heard still haunts me today ~ but with the Grace of God and by me working a Program I am coming to terms with just how sick of a woman I really was...remember, I'll just keep repeating it, there is hope and there is a solution. So glad you checked in with us...
Wow, I can relate to the insanity of an alcoholic marriage, that's for sure...I stayed in mine for 20 years! I've shared what works for me and that I surely don't want you to wait as long as I did before I got the courage to change my life. However, the impact on my daughters has been huge; I can't change the past, but the remorse of what they saw and heard still haunts me today ~ but with the Grace of God and by me working a Program I am coming to terms with just how sick of a woman I really was...remember, I'll just keep repeating it, there is hope and there is a solution. So glad you checked in with us...
Jayde
sweetheart I am SOOO sorry to hear all you have been through. In my opinion you have every right to defend yourself against abuse. You should never, ever have to take pyhsical abuse from anyone.
Please please tell us that you are not back home with you H. I hope you have removed yourself and your son from that home. It is not safe for you to be around him ever. If he thinks he can get away with violence he'll keep doing it.
Have you considered going to a women's shelter? do you have family nearby that you can turn to?
You are worth so much more than to be with someone who treats you like that Jayde and so is your son - I know you don't want him growing up to think its OK to abuse women and having to deal with your trauma.
Oh I wish we were closer to you geographically so we could better help and support you.
Jayde please keep posting and talking and sharing.
Love Idgie
sweetheart I am SOOO sorry to hear all you have been through. In my opinion you have every right to defend yourself against abuse. You should never, ever have to take pyhsical abuse from anyone.
Please please tell us that you are not back home with you H. I hope you have removed yourself and your son from that home. It is not safe for you to be around him ever. If he thinks he can get away with violence he'll keep doing it.
Have you considered going to a women's shelter? do you have family nearby that you can turn to?
You are worth so much more than to be with someone who treats you like that Jayde and so is your son - I know you don't want him growing up to think its OK to abuse women and having to deal with your trauma.
Oh I wish we were closer to you geographically so we could better help and support you.
Jayde please keep posting and talking and sharing.
Love Idgie
Jayde, I re-read your post and please let me know if there is anything that we can do for you and your son...Idgie had a great suggestion of going to a shelter...and she is absolutely right...no one, man or woman, deserves to be abused, physically, mentally, verbally or sexually....I think your parents are within driving distance of you...perhaps you can stay with them. You and your son deserve the best life has to offer, you can break this vicious cycle....I grew up in an alcoholic home and thought that the chaos and drama was just normal...when I got sober...I'm like geez, this is weird living like this (soberly) but it I started to feel comfortable in my own skin...little by little...again, if you need to talk let me know.
right now, all I can say, is welcome back Jayde.....
((((Jayde)))) oh my god!! girlfriend, are you okay??? Oh hun I feel your pain, I hope you can go to a safe place with your little one, I to know the pain of abuse, and as you probably know now, it only does escalate, you certainly don't need this added stress, bloody men makes me so mad... and so concerned for you, take care buddy, please email me if you need to chat. emc1850@telus.net
Big Hugs,
and Tons of love
lovedove
Big Hugs,
and Tons of love
lovedove
Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. We are here for you.
Jayde:
Welcome home. You were missed, my friend.
Rachel
Welcome home. You were missed, my friend.
Rachel
(((Jayde)))
I'm glad you're back, hon. It's not going to get any better though. What are your plans? Have you been able to make any yet? I'm just an email away if you need me.
lovin ya
I'm glad you're back, hon. It's not going to get any better though. What are your plans? Have you been able to make any yet? I'm just an email away if you need me.
lovin ya
Hey Jayde!!!
So good to see you back here,man I have been worried about you!!!
YGM Girl,,,,,,,
Ginge
So good to see you back here,man I have been worried about you!!!
YGM Girl,,,,,,,
Ginge
Hey Girl where are ya now!!!!
Hey Jayde I'm so glad you posted, I grew up seeing all you are going through and i felt comfortable in a house with people fighting. One day i went to my girlfriends house and she was sitting on her dads knee saying i love you and i thought jesus they are f...ing each other.....sad so sad but thats how violence programmed up my mind was. I know this is your rock bottom but there is also another set of young eyes seeing all and hearing all. Please as all the posts say leave with your son and start to build a better life for the both of you and if that f..ka of a h becomes a pain then i hope karma sh.ts on his day.
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
Yeah...i'm still here. My H is worse than ever now. Yes, i am back home (w/ him) I don't have any other place to go, no $ and my son. I knew you would all frown on that, The hardestthing i have EVER EVER had to do was be away from my son for those 10 days. That in itself is killing me still. I hesitated to post, because i knew i'd get crap for coming back here, but.....where do i go? I smoked pot too and i get put on probation on Monday after court, i don't know how probation goes....but i'm really worried. BTW...they will not let me live at m,y parents house because my brother lives with them, and he is an alcoholic, and i can't be anywhere where alcohol is a regular routine.
Love all of you;) J
Love all of you;) J
Jayde...
No one here is going to give you crap - we're here to offer support and advice... we just don't want to see you (or your little boy) get hurt anymore. Idgie had mentioned a shelter, or maybe a halfway house, for you and your son... have you thought about that at all? I know it's not the most pleasant thing to think about but neither, I imagine, is staying where you're at right now. It might be hard on both of you but in the long run, staying in that situation would have to be worse... as Idgie also said, as long as your son stays in that environment he will be seeing and learning all the wrong things about how to treat women (including you), children notice A LOT more than we give them credit for. I'm not trying to make you feel worse, just trying to be honest and to help... I'm worried for both of you right now, and nothing changes if nothing changes, as the saying goes. And Jayde, always try to remember one thing: you do not deserve this. OK? Don't let yourself be tricked into thinking that you do, because you don't. Sending you love, hugs, and positive vibes.. please stay in touch & keep us posted on how you're doing...
No one here is going to give you crap - we're here to offer support and advice... we just don't want to see you (or your little boy) get hurt anymore. Idgie had mentioned a shelter, or maybe a halfway house, for you and your son... have you thought about that at all? I know it's not the most pleasant thing to think about but neither, I imagine, is staying where you're at right now. It might be hard on both of you but in the long run, staying in that situation would have to be worse... as Idgie also said, as long as your son stays in that environment he will be seeing and learning all the wrong things about how to treat women (including you), children notice A LOT more than we give them credit for. I'm not trying to make you feel worse, just trying to be honest and to help... I'm worried for both of you right now, and nothing changes if nothing changes, as the saying goes. And Jayde, always try to remember one thing: you do not deserve this. OK? Don't let yourself be tricked into thinking that you do, because you don't. Sending you love, hugs, and positive vibes.. please stay in touch & keep us posted on how you're doing...
Jayde, I would never give you crap about returning to your husband...geez, I did over and over again for twenty years! We are both alcoholics and addicts (I'm in recovery and he is dry)...we were verbally abusive to each other from the get go and then violence slowly but surely crept in...not laying hands on each other but breaking things and stuff like that...it was scary for my Girls and they have no problem reminding either one of us of how bad it was...that's a good thing though cause it reminds me of exactly where I came from and what will be waiting for me if I go back out.
For me, I'm the type of person who learns slowly, I can handle a lot of pain and suffering, I had to hit a big wall, when I left my ex-husband...I took the kids, loaded them in the van and went straight to my Mom's and moved into the RV in her backyard from May - August of 2002...there are resources out there for you and your son and I would be glad to share them with you if you are interested.
The real concern here is yours and your son's safety...I hope a solution to this situation comes soon. As it was said before you and your son deserve the best life has to offer; you are worth it and so is your son.
For me, I'm the type of person who learns slowly, I can handle a lot of pain and suffering, I had to hit a big wall, when I left my ex-husband...I took the kids, loaded them in the van and went straight to my Mom's and moved into the RV in her backyard from May - August of 2002...there are resources out there for you and your son and I would be glad to share them with you if you are interested.
The real concern here is yours and your son's safety...I hope a solution to this situation comes soon. As it was said before you and your son deserve the best life has to offer; you are worth it and so is your son.
Hey Jayde sorry if you though i was giving you crap, i wasn't. I was only showing a perspective that i can remember from when i was young and living the nightmare. What was typed was typed hoping that you would leave the bstard, because as i see it there are 4 options , stay and suffer, go to prison and suffer, death and lastly leave and survive. Again this is not said as a bit.h at ya, it is said because i care about you and your son. Whatever is happening post, don't sit there thinking that i will give you grief if you post because thats addiction thinking in your head not the Jayde that i love and care for.
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
NO ZAC!!! I wasn't refering to YOU in particular, i just know coming back here wasn't the right thing to do, but it's all i have for now, that's all. That wasn't directed at you, k? Anyways, i really need some tough love right now, it may be the only thing that is going to save my a**!
BTW... in case anyone is wondering...i got the probation because i've had prior convictions of Disorderly conduct from my previous relationship...the guy that beat me almost to death and went to prison for 5 1/2 yrs. Otherwise they probably would've thrown it out totally. Also, originally i was charged with a felony...because i guess it's "unruley" to pull a knife on someone and tell that you're going to kill them if they don't get out of your house...even if they beat the s*** out of you first. The charge was originally "second degree recklessly endangering safety" and i forgot to say...no my son was not here for any of it....he was staying at my parents, thank god!
They reduced the charge to Disorderly conduct/ Domestic Violence so i don't have a felony on my record...thank God, because i love to fish and hunt, and if you've been convicted of a felony here in the States, you can't get a fishing or hunting license, or vote ever.
They reduced the charge to Disorderly conduct/ Domestic Violence so i don't have a felony on my record...thank God, because i love to fish and hunt, and if you've been convicted of a felony here in the States, you can't get a fishing or hunting license, or vote ever.
