Not much more to it....i have relapsed BAD. I want out of this vicious circle so bad. PLEASE HELP.
Aww, Jayde, what happened? Are you going to AA or getting help of any kind besides this board? If you answered that before I'm sorry I don't remember. Do this... When you wake up it will be a new day and you don't have to drink if you don't want to. No one can make you drink. You can start fresh in the morning. Don't panic. If you need to, call someone and ask for help. You don't have to do this alone. We are here for you. Keep coming back. See you in the morning.
Jayde,
Awww sweetie! It's gonna be okay. You can start again. Did something trigger you? If I haven't read what was going on with you I am sorry. Just like 12 stepper said tomorrow is a new day. Just start fresh my friend.
Awww sweetie! It's gonna be okay. You can start again. Did something trigger you? If I haven't read what was going on with you I am sorry. Just like 12 stepper said tomorrow is a new day. Just start fresh my friend.
Thanks 12 Stepper and Val.,,,actually this time i'm pretty sure that i've hit bottom. I am taking pain pills too along with another bad habit i used to have,,,plus the booze.I just feel so alone, and done with everything, i want to seriously wake up tomorrow and begin to learn to live life on life's terms, Just don't know exact where to start. How do you start? I AM SERIOUS THIS TIME...I HAVE TO BE.
Hi Jayde,
Well first you have to get sober. It's hard to think clearly through the cloud so to speak. I too take pain pills. I was out of them a few days ago but ended up with some last night. For some reason in my sick head I think the pills are no big deal. I do read alot of the pill threads and I really should be more scared but I'm not. I will deal with that issue later. I am glad to hear that you feel you have hit rock bottom. Once you know that is where you are, you have nowhere else to go but up. I don't go to AA but I would definately suggest that you try and go to a meeting. These boards are great for alot of people but it sounds like you might benefit from some face time with people that are going through the same thing. I don't have a magic answer for you to help you feel better, I just wanted to respond so you knew you were not alone. Feel free to e-mail me if you'd like. I am always here if you need a friend or just need to vent.
VLCHAVIS@HOTMAIL.COM
Well first you have to get sober. It's hard to think clearly through the cloud so to speak. I too take pain pills. I was out of them a few days ago but ended up with some last night. For some reason in my sick head I think the pills are no big deal. I do read alot of the pill threads and I really should be more scared but I'm not. I will deal with that issue later. I am glad to hear that you feel you have hit rock bottom. Once you know that is where you are, you have nowhere else to go but up. I don't go to AA but I would definately suggest that you try and go to a meeting. These boards are great for alot of people but it sounds like you might benefit from some face time with people that are going through the same thing. I don't have a magic answer for you to help you feel better, I just wanted to respond so you knew you were not alone. Feel free to e-mail me if you'd like. I am always here if you need a friend or just need to vent.
VLCHAVIS@HOTMAIL.COM
Hey Jayde,
Ginge here, at a internet cafe! Whats up girl? I hope you are feeling better, remember you can do it girl!
Its not easy as we all know ,
I just checked hot mail and none there from you :(
I will be leaving NZ tomorrow, spent a few hrs with Zac last nite was really good,
Just remember dont drink today!
Thinking of you
Ginge
Ginge here, at a internet cafe! Whats up girl? I hope you are feeling better, remember you can do it girl!
Its not easy as we all know ,
I just checked hot mail and none there from you :(
I will be leaving NZ tomorrow, spent a few hrs with Zac last nite was really good,
Just remember dont drink today!
Thinking of you
Ginge
Thaks you guys...i know i didn't expext a magic answer...thr footwork is up to me i; the only one that can change me. It seems as though my life is falling apart, and it is....but it's not all me, it's my H too, and that's why i keep repeating my old behavior, hoping something will change, Well i'm done, i;ve already made a few arrangment for a little while...but i am not sure. I have so much i=on my mind right now that i canm;t even think right now.
Ginge!!!!Ginge!!!! Ginge!!!!I have been waiting to hear from ya, you always bring me up;) Hope you're having a good time. Please email if you want;)
Love ya;)
P.S. I have no personal friends that i can talk about this with at this moment, and that makes it so much harder:(
Ginge!!!!Ginge!!!! Ginge!!!!I have been waiting to hear from ya, you always bring me up;) Hope you're having a good time. Please email if you want;)
Love ya;)
P.S. I have no personal friends that i can talk about this with at this moment, and that makes it so much harder:(
Hi Jayde,
I'm so sorry you are going through all this crap right now. I also know what you mean about not having personal friends to talk to about it. I have a handful of really good friends. 20+ year friendships and I can't even discuss it with them. They wouldn't understand. It's soo easy for others including myself to just give advice and tell you what you should do, but I realize that all of that is easier said that done! Just try for one day sober. Try to go to sleep early and start fresh tomorrow. You already know that things will only get worse if you keep on a bender. We are all here for you my friend. If there is anything that I can do to help just let me know. I truly mean that! :)
Your Friend
I'm so sorry you are going through all this crap right now. I also know what you mean about not having personal friends to talk to about it. I have a handful of really good friends. 20+ year friendships and I can't even discuss it with them. They wouldn't understand. It's soo easy for others including myself to just give advice and tell you what you should do, but I realize that all of that is easier said that done! Just try for one day sober. Try to go to sleep early and start fresh tomorrow. You already know that things will only get worse if you keep on a bender. We are all here for you my friend. If there is anything that I can do to help just let me know. I truly mean that! :)
Your Friend
Hey Jayde KEEP POSTING everything there is in your head that is f ing you up at the moment. You have emails use em. You are never alone, if it's hard to email or post because H is about sort him out. The time for forgetting about others and concentrating on yourself is now. You are such a worthwhile person who cares greatly about others, start caring about yourself. If you can get in touch with someone in AA and i'm sure there will be contacts available 24/7.
I don't know what else you are trying to stop or if cold turkey on everything will work, go see your parents, are they supportive of you? Can you and your son stay with them till the fog clears? All of this is going around in your head and building the more you worry it within. You can do it, you are worthwhile and one day at a time we all can work at it together.
Light and love Zac
I don't know what else you are trying to stop or if cold turkey on everything will work, go see your parents, are they supportive of you? Can you and your son stay with them till the fog clears? All of this is going around in your head and building the more you worry it within. You can do it, you are worthwhile and one day at a time we all can work at it together.
Light and love Zac
Jayde, Just checkin the boards at 9:30 pm my time...I'll echo what everyone else said...you can start anew...and if you can get to a meeting tomorrow, I would highly suggest it...wish you here I'd pick you up and take you to one... (Ginge, can you stop by and pick Jayde up on the way to LA?) You know what you have to do, you've been sober before and know the drill...it's not easy I know that for sure, but it is the better way. If there is anything I can share with you tonight it would be there is hope, and you never, ever have to feel the way you are feeling right now...you can do this thing one day at time...don't follow in my footsteps and get sober at 44 years old...on a daily basis I'm cleaning up the wreckage of my past with my daughters and although it is better, some of the damage is irreversible, or at least it seems that way for now. Hang on tight, I believe in you, even if you cannot right now believe that you can do this, know that I believe you can 100%....again, hang on.
Vw,
Thank God you are back on the boards! It's been real quiet and you have been missed. Just reading the post you wrote to Jayde made me feel stronger and so full of hope. I hope it helped you too Jayde:). You will make it through this my friend. Just try to stop the bender and start fresh. You've done it before so you know you can do it again. We are all here for you. You just hit a bump in the road to recovery. We have all been there. It sucks when you are in it I know, but every day is a new day and each day you will get stronger!! It's nice to have someone that believes in you huh????? VW you are just awesome! There are times when I have felt weak or just alone and I pop on here and someone who doesn't even know me, gives me just the little boost that I need. Thank you to all of you who have given me a boost~ Now we gotta rally around our friend Jayde! You can do it Jayde....one day at a time!
Your Friend
Thank God you are back on the boards! It's been real quiet and you have been missed. Just reading the post you wrote to Jayde made me feel stronger and so full of hope. I hope it helped you too Jayde:). You will make it through this my friend. Just try to stop the bender and start fresh. You've done it before so you know you can do it again. We are all here for you. You just hit a bump in the road to recovery. We have all been there. It sucks when you are in it I know, but every day is a new day and each day you will get stronger!! It's nice to have someone that believes in you huh????? VW you are just awesome! There are times when I have felt weak or just alone and I pop on here and someone who doesn't even know me, gives me just the little boost that I need. Thank you to all of you who have given me a boost~ Now we gotta rally around our friend Jayde! You can do it Jayde....one day at a time!
Your Friend
Valarie and Jayde ~ We can do this thing together..one drunk talking to another...that's what it's all about...I never thought there was any hope at all...I thought everyone would be better off if I was not on this planet...little by little, one day at a time, it did get better as long as I didn't pick up a drink or a drug ~ now don't get me wrong it's not always easy...but for me, it is the better way...you gals are keeping me sober too!
Hey Jayde VW and Val are right there is hope.
When i went to an AA based meeting my insanity found a reason, my alcoholism found a family and i found me. These boards are awesome and i only found them 10 years into sobriety and i'm sure if you combined them with AA meetings i will see you flying past home in a red cape.
Keep posting jayde we all care for you, we all hurt for you because the pain is only a memorie away but most of all we are excited for you because there is hope and you are willing.
Light and love Zac
When i went to an AA based meeting my insanity found a reason, my alcoholism found a family and i found me. These boards are awesome and i only found them 10 years into sobriety and i'm sure if you combined them with AA meetings i will see you flying past home in a red cape.
Keep posting jayde we all care for you, we all hurt for you because the pain is only a memorie away but most of all we are excited for you because there is hope and you are willing.
Light and love Zac
Jayde, I will and we will always believe in your desire to stop. Sounds like you are ready. All the hugs and love and support are here for you.
I can't thank you all enough for all the support you've given me...i truly mean that you guys! Your posts made me cry, every one of you have touched my heart and have given me hope. I am truly one screwed up individual. I just can't understand how i know what the outcome will be, and still keep doing it! It truly is insane, and to say the least SELFISH. What i don't understand is i'm really not a selfish person at heart, i mean, i worry about everyone else so much that it's like i don't have anything left for myself.
12 Stepper, no i'm not doing anything else at the moment as far as my recovery (not going to meetings, i know i need to) but this right now is my support system. Thanks for being there, maybe i could use some of your tough love right now...it's probably just what i need:)
VW, Zac, Ginge, Val, and Wonders, Thanks you guys so much! I don't know where i'd be without you all.
I will be 32 on Saturday, and if i don't stop now, another 10 yrs will pass, (if i make it that long) and i certainly want the next 10 yrs to be better than the last.
12 Stepper, no i'm not doing anything else at the moment as far as my recovery (not going to meetings, i know i need to) but this right now is my support system. Thanks for being there, maybe i could use some of your tough love right now...it's probably just what i need:)
VW, Zac, Ginge, Val, and Wonders, Thanks you guys so much! I don't know where i'd be without you all.
I will be 32 on Saturday, and if i don't stop now, another 10 yrs will pass, (if i make it that long) and i certainly want the next 10 yrs to be better than the last.
Jayde, I didn't get sober until I was 49. Don't waste all those years like I did. Get your butt to a meeting. You can find one online or call your local intergroup. I know how scary it is but it's something you'll have to walk thru. Just give it a try. If you could find a women's meeting that would be great. Are you drinking today? Please don't, just today. Tomorrow is another day. You can get thru one day, no?
Hi 12...No i'm not drinking today...but i'm having terrible withdrawls, i mean terrible. I am shaking in my skin. I could go get some beer right now, and i've even thought about it 1000 times already, but something inside is telling me NO NO NO!!!! Don't do it! I want to so bad....but i can't.
I tried to talk to my H this morning before he left for work (I'm a stay-at home mom...well i do construction w/my dad, when my mom is off work,so she can babysit, but for now, i'm home) anyways i told him i need more help and support than what i'm getting right now, and he told me.(exact words) "You're not an alcoholic, you are a w**** that is starving for attention!"
I can't take this s*** ANYMORE!
I cannot make it to a meeting right now...i've got my son, and even if i had a sitter, i would have to drive 45 miles (i know it shouldn't matter) but right now, i can't even think, i wouldn't feel safe driving.
WITHDRAWLS SUCK BUTT!!
Also, my H said he has never in his life heard ANYONE admit they were an alcoholic, except me...and it seems like i'm proud of it! I told him.. that NO, i'm just not in DENIAL!
I tried to talk to my H this morning before he left for work (I'm a stay-at home mom...well i do construction w/my dad, when my mom is off work,so she can babysit, but for now, i'm home) anyways i told him i need more help and support than what i'm getting right now, and he told me.(exact words) "You're not an alcoholic, you are a w**** that is starving for attention!"
I can't take this s*** ANYMORE!
I cannot make it to a meeting right now...i've got my son, and even if i had a sitter, i would have to drive 45 miles (i know it shouldn't matter) but right now, i can't even think, i wouldn't feel safe driving.
WITHDRAWLS SUCK BUTT!!
Also, my H said he has never in his life heard ANYONE admit they were an alcoholic, except me...and it seems like i'm proud of it! I told him.. that NO, i'm just not in DENIAL!
Well, screw him. If you think you are an alcoholic then you probably are and his opinion doesn't mean squat. What time is that meeting? Get some support, honey, so when he says mean things you'll have someone to talk to. This board is a good start but it isn't working for you if you still drink. Do you know how to find a meeting in your area? I'd be happy to do it for you. My email is posted below if you want to tell me where you are. Hang in there. You can get thru the day without drinking. You just have to want to.
Loving you
Loving you
Hey 12...i don't know if ya caught the end of my post....i edited;))) My bad;)
Is it alright if i email you now? I could really use some BLUNT, TOUGH, LOVIN':)
Is it alright if i email you now? I could really use some BLUNT, TOUGH, LOVIN':)
Email away. I'm at the computer till 4 till works over.
