What else can I say?
I can't even say what I'm asking for.
I'm just lost.
what's wrong?
talk to me.
take a deep breath. count to three.
i know life is effing overwhelming sometimes.
talk to me.
take a deep breath. count to three.
i know life is effing overwhelming sometimes.
Hey Jodi. Talk to us. If you don't mind telling us, what are you taking? Are you still drinking and taking pills? What's going on?
I'll be here for a few if you want to talk.
Rae
I'll be here for a few if you want to talk.
Rae
I just want to be able to control it....
And I can't.
Denial is my best friend.
And I can't.
Denial is my best friend.
You've admitted you can't control it. Thats a start Jodi.
Keep talking
Wendy
Keep talking
Wendy
When you are ready, you will say enough. Then, it will hurt so bad you will admit that you need some help; maybe it just can't be done alone. There are certain things that need to be done...and sometimes swearing off everyday only to drink again just won't work...you know that. It is gona take more than that.
I was where you are for so long. Now I am not. I just realized one day that if I didn't get help, I was seriously going to mess up my kids lives, and they didn't deserve that.
I say treatment....or sub. Have you looked into sub? you can't drink on sub; you can't get loaded.
I was where you are for so long. Now I am not. I just realized one day that if I didn't get help, I was seriously going to mess up my kids lives, and they didn't deserve that.
I say treatment....or sub. Have you looked into sub? you can't drink on sub; you can't get loaded.
Jodi,
Come back and talk! You have lots of support here. You're still hanging on there. Don't give up...Keep reaching out, keep talking.
Jan
Come back and talk! You have lots of support here. You're still hanging on there. Don't give up...Keep reaching out, keep talking.
Jan
Jodi- A lot of people here care about you..whats going on?
Jodi,
You have been on this merry go round for a long time. It is time to get "real". You are going to die if you continue on this path. You have children that need you and it's just TIME. I don't know if you are still in an abusive relationship but IF you are then it's time to get out. Once you do that and get clean everything will work out the way it is suppose to. Nothing changes IF nothing changes Jodi.
I am sorry you are feeling low. I hope it all works out for you! I truly do. I have faith in you & believe you can do anything that you put your mind to.
Stay Strong and Hang in there!!!
Rae
You have been on this merry go round for a long time. It is time to get "real". You are going to die if you continue on this path. You have children that need you and it's just TIME. I don't know if you are still in an abusive relationship but IF you are then it's time to get out. Once you do that and get clean everything will work out the way it is suppose to. Nothing changes IF nothing changes Jodi.
I am sorry you are feeling low. I hope it all works out for you! I truly do. I have faith in you & believe you can do anything that you put your mind to.
Stay Strong and Hang in there!!!
Rae
And I am telling you, there is nothing like being out of that hell. It is so worth whatever you have to walk through...I couldn't even imagine drinking today; I couldn't go one day without getting smashed at night.
It gets better...I wish I could give you a glimpse of just how different it is. That impending doom will go away..and you will be able to look in the mirror again.
It is worth it.
You just gotta do it.
You have to be willing to do a few simple suggestions, and things will change. Not right away, but it will be so damn worth it.
It gets better...I wish I could give you a glimpse of just how different it is. That impending doom will go away..and you will be able to look in the mirror again.
It is worth it.
You just gotta do it.
You have to be willing to do a few simple suggestions, and things will change. Not right away, but it will be so damn worth it.
Jodi, lots of good advice here....time to do something for yourself...get some help...
You just want to control?? There is no control...the drugs and alcohol are talking for you...they are what is controlling your life from the minute you wake up till the minute you go to sleep
When is it going to be enough? you CAN do this! You CAN take back your life...you need to be Honest, Open and Willing...you can do it!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You just want to control?? There is no control...the drugs and alcohol are talking for you...they are what is controlling your life from the minute you wake up till the minute you go to sleep
When is it going to be enough? you CAN do this! You CAN take back your life...you need to be Honest, Open and Willing...you can do it!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
jodiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
don't run away now! we're here for you!!!
talk to us!!!!!!!!!!!
don't run away now! we're here for you!!!
talk to us!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes Jodi's husband shows up and then she has to quickly get off line.
I don't know what else to say you to you Jodi, that I haven't already said. You know what you have to do.
Just never forget how much we all care.
Love
Lisa
I don't know what else to say you to you Jodi, that I haven't already said. You know what you have to do.
Just never forget how much we all care.
Love
Lisa
Sending love and support Jodi, please talk to us when you can. Don't give up on yourself...you're worth this fight and so much more.
Amy
Can I ask you all this question? First, let me say, that I just want to feel good again. For awhile, substances did that for me. NOTHING makes me feel good anymore. So, when you get clean, is it possible to feel good again? I mean, obviously it is because you all seem pretty content most of the time. But WHAT makes you feel good? I can't ever imagine feeling that again. I know the obvious things...like not obsessing over pills, counting, the extra money I would have, not feeling like total s*** every morning. But what makes you feel good now that you are sober?
Like I said, I don't know if I will ever feel good again....or even okay.
Thank you, each and every one of you.
Like I said, I don't know if I will ever feel good again....or even okay.
Thank you, each and every one of you.
Come here Jodi ....big hugs. I remember feeling like that all the time. The secret is you've got to get help. And distance from your DOC. Please put out your hand. You will be surprised the amount of help and support you can recieve if you put out your hand to be pulled up. Get some help your worth it.
Keep posting we all care.
Love,
Jane
Keep posting we all care.
Love,
Jane
Jodi...
I remember feeling how you feel and today, I have a peace inside me and I have love, real feelings of love inside, and whatever happens on the outside world, I am happy and at peace on the inside...Sometimes I work hard for it but it is simple. I simply surrendered and turned my will over to my HP.
Hang in there sweetie...I have been in a similar black hole before and it is an ugly, scary, frightening, hopeless place but once I quit the alcohol/drugs, I saw a glimmer of hope & I held on to it....
xoxo
Stacey
Do you have a Big Book?
I remember feeling how you feel and today, I have a peace inside me and I have love, real feelings of love inside, and whatever happens on the outside world, I am happy and at peace on the inside...Sometimes I work hard for it but it is simple. I simply surrendered and turned my will over to my HP.
Hang in there sweetie...I have been in a similar black hole before and it is an ugly, scary, frightening, hopeless place but once I quit the alcohol/drugs, I saw a glimmer of hope & I held on to it....
xoxo
Stacey
Do you have a Big Book?
Jodi,Since ive gotten clean,all the things you mentioned make me feel good,and so much more. Just walking around feeling like a "normal" person makes me feel 10 feet tall.Its alot of hard work,and alot of pain to get here,but nothing and i mean nothing makes life more worth while than doing it,getting help,getting clean.Living life like a normal functioning human being.
I know for me,while using,i felt like s***,worse than s***,i felt like i wasnt worth anything.the self worth i feel now is just too amazing to even explain.And its there wating for you Jodi,whenever you decide you really really want it.Reach out,there are so many places and so many people willing and ready to help you through it.I wish you the best Jodi,i know you will be happy and clean one day,i just pray its sooner rather than later.Youre so worth a happy life.~KIM
I know for me,while using,i felt like s***,worse than s***,i felt like i wasnt worth anything.the self worth i feel now is just too amazing to even explain.And its there wating for you Jodi,whenever you decide you really really want it.Reach out,there are so many places and so many people willing and ready to help you through it.I wish you the best Jodi,i know you will be happy and clean one day,i just pray its sooner rather than later.Youre so worth a happy life.~KIM
Jodi,
You will feel good again. Once you have gotten clean you will feel as if you have slayed an inner demon. That feels pretty damn good. Inner peace feels good. Not wondering if today will be the day I take too many and OD feels good. Little things, like enjoying music, really enjoying it, even the happy songs, you'll find yourself singing along and realize that you feel good.
When you eat healthy all day and drink water, and there are no chemicals going into your body, you will feel good about it. It feels good to know that you treated your body good. When you suddenly have the energy and motivation to do something different, whatever it may be for you, it feels good. Something that you wouldn't have normally done because it would interfere with using or drinking. No longer feeling so annoyed with the world feels good. This will sound cheesy, but your emotions change and you enjoy small things like the beautiful earth around you or the smell of flowers.
If I had to predict something for you, what would be the first big thing to make you feel good, I would put my money on regaining your self esteem and self worth. That is going to feel so good. You will think and act differently, and take action to change other things in your life.
Those are some of the intangibles, and without a doubt in my mind, I believe you will feel these things again. I 100% believe that you can feel good again. I know there is a whole other person inside of you who is just waiting to get out and show you how good life can be.
Don't give up, ever, Jodi. You will feel good again. Everyone can't be wrong...It feels better to be clean and sober than it does to be using. You can get there.
In case you missed it on the other thread....I want you to know that last year, when things were going so bad with hubby and I, you helped me so much and I haven't forgotten. You were always here talking me through things. I appreciated that so much.
Keep fighting for this. I promise it is worth it.
You will feel good again. Once you have gotten clean you will feel as if you have slayed an inner demon. That feels pretty damn good. Inner peace feels good. Not wondering if today will be the day I take too many and OD feels good. Little things, like enjoying music, really enjoying it, even the happy songs, you'll find yourself singing along and realize that you feel good.
When you eat healthy all day and drink water, and there are no chemicals going into your body, you will feel good about it. It feels good to know that you treated your body good. When you suddenly have the energy and motivation to do something different, whatever it may be for you, it feels good. Something that you wouldn't have normally done because it would interfere with using or drinking. No longer feeling so annoyed with the world feels good. This will sound cheesy, but your emotions change and you enjoy small things like the beautiful earth around you or the smell of flowers.
If I had to predict something for you, what would be the first big thing to make you feel good, I would put my money on regaining your self esteem and self worth. That is going to feel so good. You will think and act differently, and take action to change other things in your life.
Those are some of the intangibles, and without a doubt in my mind, I believe you will feel these things again. I 100% believe that you can feel good again. I know there is a whole other person inside of you who is just waiting to get out and show you how good life can be.
Don't give up, ever, Jodi. You will feel good again. Everyone can't be wrong...It feels better to be clean and sober than it does to be using. You can get there.
In case you missed it on the other thread....I want you to know that last year, when things were going so bad with hubby and I, you helped me so much and I haven't forgotten. You were always here talking me through things. I appreciated that so much.
Keep fighting for this. I promise it is worth it.
hi jodi, hun i am so sorry you feel like this. we go back to may 05, and i remember like it was yesterday our conversations on here. i wish so very badly that i could help you understand it does get better. for me...it took a few months on sub for the fog to clear and for me to see just how f'ed up i was and my life was on pills. all i can say besides that is i would be more than happy to talk to you off line. i know we have a lot in common and i think we are very similar. PLEASE LET ME KNOE IF YOU WANT MY # i will be on and off for the next 2 hours. so i will keep checking back to see if you want to talk. hey anything you are into chatting about...even if it's the color of the socks you are wearing..i am in baby ! hang in there..love ang
