8mg sub
For some reason I felt this last drop. I feel it when I wake up in the morning a bit. But, it's fine it's just this tinge of angst in me when I wake. My body is really restless in the morning.
Went into prayer and go down to 6mg this week. This has been a long process since I started recording on this site! The logging has probably been best for me:). I've read there is something about getting your thoughts and feelings out on paper.
6mg subutex
I feel great, but I know it's going to have more of a punch going forward and that under 2mg will be the biggest challenge. Although, I've made it a long ways from dosing at 140mg of methadone for 5 years! I feel SO much better now! I'm alive again and it's wonderful.
I had a great aa meeting this morning. I like seeing all the people I know and always learn things and am reinforcing in my mind God, the program, and how horrible using is. I'm still a little nervous sometimes sitting in a huge circle with all these people. It's just sort of uncomfortable at times. It's not like a class room where everyone faces an instructor and listens to a lecture. But, I'll get more use to it over time. I really like the program and the people. Most importantly I've learned that in aa, church, or anywhere their will be haters and na-sayers. I know that I have to love them. When I love them and am kind to them then whatever comes my way doesn't carry any power. I always remember where my truth comes from and that's from God!
I feel great, but I know it's going to have more of a punch going forward and that under 2mg will be the biggest challenge. Although, I've made it a long ways from dosing at 140mg of methadone for 5 years! I feel SO much better now! I'm alive again and it's wonderful.
I had a great aa meeting this morning. I like seeing all the people I know and always learn things and am reinforcing in my mind God, the program, and how horrible using is. I'm still a little nervous sometimes sitting in a huge circle with all these people. It's just sort of uncomfortable at times. It's not like a class room where everyone faces an instructor and listens to a lecture. But, I'll get more use to it over time. I really like the program and the people. Most importantly I've learned that in aa, church, or anywhere their will be haters and na-sayers. I know that I have to love them. When I love them and am kind to them then whatever comes my way doesn't carry any power. I always remember where my truth comes from and that's from God!
6mg subutex
197 pounds - I've lost a lot of weight eating right and exercise!
I went to bed at 11pm and up at 3am... other than waking early I feel fine. So far going down on subutex hasn't effected me really at all. When I was going down on methadone even at 60mg and only going down 2mg a week it was hitting me hard.
God bless!
197 pounds - I've lost a lot of weight eating right and exercise!
I went to bed at 11pm and up at 3am... other than waking early I feel fine. So far going down on subutex hasn't effected me really at all. When I was going down on methadone even at 60mg and only going down 2mg a week it was hitting me hard.
God bless!
Jason u sound just like me. I was on 125mg for so long . Started clinic in 2007. Got off 2015 aug then my father passes away at 52 years old from dementia. Im almost 29 & having such a hard time. . Ive been off clinic for well over a year but cant seem to stay completely clean. Even tho i dont count a 1/4 piece of a 10 mg methadone pill a problem but its a problem becuz i cant seem to get passes two weeks. Ive gone like 2 months with outand my life was the most s***tiest at that point. Stsrted taking suboxone beg of this month jan 2016 but i started taking it on my own with out dr. My father had one pill he gave to me years ago & it seemed like thevright thing to do. I was methadone free only taking pieces of this one pill prob a 30mg pill they dont make em any more. But yesterday. I woke up & tryed not to take.... omg this is the worst feeling in the world. I was just a kid when i got on methadone 20 years old now im looking at 29 dead in the face and yes ive stayed clean off street drugs this whole time. But all this time has passed by and nothing seems as if anything has changed in my way of thinking. Cant figure this game out. Just wanna be free for the 1st time in my life and cant seem how to get there. Soo many ppll have given advice supplements to take wat not. But im starting to thinking im gonna be a lifer. I wish u the best. How are u coping with the loss of your father? I cant handle it and its only been 10 months. Maybe i need counseling. From a real therapist. Let me knw if u have any advice.or any one .. please... besides Na or Aa im not into that thanks.
6mg subutex
I'm so sorry about your father passing away. You need to grieve. That's going to take a long time and using masks it. I lost my little brother suddenly 7 years ago and I still cry and miss him all the time. When my Dad passed it wasn't even close to the pain when my brother died because we weren't close. He left the family when I was 13 and lived on the other side of the country my entire life. But, I know when my brother passed I used like mad. I went off the deep end completely. I was actually a little crazy from it. I would scream, shake, and morn like I was going to die. I didn't realize there was any such pain in the world.
I know you don't want to hear it, but AA is the only option we have to maintain any sobriety. Also, half measures avail as nothing. This means you have to embrace the program and work it fully. It's all we have in America except replacement therapy. This therapy can be used as a tool, but it's dope that doesn't get you high. Be sure to talk with a mental health provider I know that it's important. But, if you get with the right person AA is like the best cognitive behavioral therapy there is at no cost. That's the best any counselor could have and many don't even truly practice it.
I'm up at 1am today now after the last drop. My sleeping is crazy and I'm on a multiple sleep cycle in a 24hour period. Basically sleeping 4 hours a night and 3 hours nap before that.
Yesterday I noticed a change in my mood. I had a discontented feeling about life. I mean the idea of going to work everyday, having a good woman, and just doing normal life. No good crazy actions and chaos that I'm so use to. I'm praying the good Lord helps me embrace simple hobbies, work, and plain old life. I have to realize that life isn't straight excitement, fun, and rah rah rah. That's what I've always thrived on.
I'm down to 6mg and of subutex and that is quit a success thus far. I mean to think that 8 months ago or whatever I was on 140mg of methadone!
I'm so sorry about your father passing away. You need to grieve. That's going to take a long time and using masks it. I lost my little brother suddenly 7 years ago and I still cry and miss him all the time. When my Dad passed it wasn't even close to the pain when my brother died because we weren't close. He left the family when I was 13 and lived on the other side of the country my entire life. But, I know when my brother passed I used like mad. I went off the deep end completely. I was actually a little crazy from it. I would scream, shake, and morn like I was going to die. I didn't realize there was any such pain in the world.
I know you don't want to hear it, but AA is the only option we have to maintain any sobriety. Also, half measures avail as nothing. This means you have to embrace the program and work it fully. It's all we have in America except replacement therapy. This therapy can be used as a tool, but it's dope that doesn't get you high. Be sure to talk with a mental health provider I know that it's important. But, if you get with the right person AA is like the best cognitive behavioral therapy there is at no cost. That's the best any counselor could have and many don't even truly practice it.
I'm up at 1am today now after the last drop. My sleeping is crazy and I'm on a multiple sleep cycle in a 24hour period. Basically sleeping 4 hours a night and 3 hours nap before that.
Yesterday I noticed a change in my mood. I had a discontented feeling about life. I mean the idea of going to work everyday, having a good woman, and just doing normal life. No good crazy actions and chaos that I'm so use to. I'm praying the good Lord helps me embrace simple hobbies, work, and plain old life. I have to realize that life isn't straight excitement, fun, and rah rah rah. That's what I've always thrived on.
I'm down to 6mg and of subutex and that is quit a success thus far. I mean to think that 8 months ago or whatever I was on 140mg of methadone!
Jason, Sounds like you are dong really well on your detox from methadone. You are doing all the right things like exercise, diet, AA meetings, etc. that help. As you said, I think that being on an antidepressant (Zolof, etc.) can help anyone taper. The antidepressant, in the future will not be too hard to get off of, although you have to do that kind of gradually also.
I have read that vitamine C in high doses completely gets rid of any uncomfortable feelings while dosing down or detoxing from any opiates. Vit. C has been used alone as an antidepressant but it also helps with the physical symptoms. Many Naturopaths and other health professionals use an IV drip for the vit. C, as it is hard to get enought Vit C form tablets. Vit C is water soluble and so is non-toxic, but in very high does it can cause stomach upset and diarrhea. The American Society of Addictive medicine uses Vit. C intravenous. But you can get high dose packets of Vit. C from Biorecovery- 800-247-6237. bio-recoveryinc.com. They have packets of Lypo-Spheric Vit C- 1000 mg each- 30 packets of 30 for $29.95. 6 grams (6000 mg) of Liposomal Vit. C (Advanced Bionutritionals) is equal to 50,000 grams IV. In her 2 books, Dr. Forbes, who is a leader in this area of addiction and depression, gives other suppliments which can help with addiction, withdrawal symptoms and detox. Also for depression. These formulas are used successfully at her clinic. There has been a lot of research in vit C for addiction. The Maintainance Institute in Chicago uses an avg. of 5,000 mg per day during the worse detoxing days. It has a market effect on relieving fatigue tension, restless sleep, muscular pains, cramps, vasoconstriction, cold limbs, constipation, irritability, mood shifts and impotence.
I have read that vitamine C in high doses completely gets rid of any uncomfortable feelings while dosing down or detoxing from any opiates. Vit. C has been used alone as an antidepressant but it also helps with the physical symptoms. Many Naturopaths and other health professionals use an IV drip for the vit. C, as it is hard to get enought Vit C form tablets. Vit C is water soluble and so is non-toxic, but in very high does it can cause stomach upset and diarrhea. The American Society of Addictive medicine uses Vit. C intravenous. But you can get high dose packets of Vit. C from Biorecovery- 800-247-6237. bio-recoveryinc.com. They have packets of Lypo-Spheric Vit C- 1000 mg each- 30 packets of 30 for $29.95. 6 grams (6000 mg) of Liposomal Vit. C (Advanced Bionutritionals) is equal to 50,000 grams IV. In her 2 books, Dr. Forbes, who is a leader in this area of addiction and depression, gives other suppliments which can help with addiction, withdrawal symptoms and detox. Also for depression. These formulas are used successfully at her clinic. There has been a lot of research in vit C for addiction. The Maintainance Institute in Chicago uses an avg. of 5,000 mg per day during the worse detoxing days. It has a market effect on relieving fatigue tension, restless sleep, muscular pains, cramps, vasoconstriction, cold limbs, constipation, irritability, mood shifts and impotence.
I did 21 day detox from 65 mg of methadone. I was at clinic for 6 months. I used heroin and crank and pills coke for like 15 yrs.I have been off methadone since DEC 20th. Some days are OK others I can't get out of bed I have high blood pressure and since of methadone its going g up. I want to feel good some days but I don't wanna use any more. I get mad all the time. I don't care about my apperience. I'm trying. When does it stop? I just wanna be OK.
Karen,
I feel for you....it sounds like you are having a rough time. But you've only been off for a month....so give it some time. And do some things that will help: exercise....at least 20 min./day of aerobic....fast walking, swimming, running, ping-pong....whatever gets you sweating. This will cause toxins to be flushed out and increase endorphins in your brain which make you feel good. Also, try the Vit C in the dose as described in my previous post.
Do saunas if you can. It may take a bit longer but these things will make it a lot smoother.
I feel for you....it sounds like you are having a rough time. But you've only been off for a month....so give it some time. And do some things that will help: exercise....at least 20 min./day of aerobic....fast walking, swimming, running, ping-pong....whatever gets you sweating. This will cause toxins to be flushed out and increase endorphins in your brain which make you feel good. Also, try the Vit C in the dose as described in my previous post.
Do saunas if you can. It may take a bit longer but these things will make it a lot smoother.
6mg sub's
This was a harder drop than the previous ones. Nothing like being sick with cramps, sneezing, anxiety or anything like that. But, I noticed a change in my mood. I noticed a little depression kick in with some self pity and lack of energy. My thinking wasn't as healthy starting about 3 days after the drop. I started to overeat and I noticed other behaviors that were seeking a relief. I didn't use, but the demons were in full force suggesting a drink of all things! I know what that and any other using will lead me to and that's total pain and suffering again. Nothing on this earth will relieve me of my human living condition when it's hard except simply waiting it out through the storm. I feel a little better this morning at least. I'm going to go to church this morning and I've been praying. I thank God he is merciful and all loving. My sponsor gave me a 4th step to start working on, but I'm going to let him know it's not the right time to start into all of that. I'm going to do it, but it's best I get off the subutex and get some clean time under my belt first. Going down on dose now is challenging me mentally a bit.
This was a harder drop than the previous ones. Nothing like being sick with cramps, sneezing, anxiety or anything like that. But, I noticed a change in my mood. I noticed a little depression kick in with some self pity and lack of energy. My thinking wasn't as healthy starting about 3 days after the drop. I started to overeat and I noticed other behaviors that were seeking a relief. I didn't use, but the demons were in full force suggesting a drink of all things! I know what that and any other using will lead me to and that's total pain and suffering again. Nothing on this earth will relieve me of my human living condition when it's hard except simply waiting it out through the storm. I feel a little better this morning at least. I'm going to go to church this morning and I've been praying. I thank God he is merciful and all loving. My sponsor gave me a 4th step to start working on, but I'm going to let him know it's not the right time to start into all of that. I'm going to do it, but it's best I get off the subutex and get some clean time under my belt first. Going down on dose now is challenging me mentally a bit.
6mg sub
Hard drop mentally. I got depressed, less energy, eating bad, and just plain down. This drug I'm on is big time. I mean it's a bear to get off. I can't believe I've gone from 140mg of methadone to this now. I've come a long ways now. I put my dose reduction on hold for another week instead of going down again this week. Just to be safe and let my body catch up. I never knew what I was doing when I got on replacement therapy. This has been a battle in itself to kick. I mean it's been harder than anything to just get off of. That's not even including staying clean afterwards. I'm praying...:)
Hard drop mentally. I got depressed, less energy, eating bad, and just plain down. This drug I'm on is big time. I mean it's a bear to get off. I can't believe I've gone from 140mg of methadone to this now. I've come a long ways now. I put my dose reduction on hold for another week instead of going down again this week. Just to be safe and let my body catch up. I never knew what I was doing when I got on replacement therapy. This has been a battle in itself to kick. I mean it's been harder than anything to just get off of. That's not even including staying clean afterwards. I'm praying...:)
I'm down to 2 MSG now.. I started at 72 in 2009.. I have been up and down with my dose the whole 7yrs I've been there and numerous relapses. I started using speed (crystal,crank, bathsalt).. Being I couldn't get high off dope or pain pills I turned to speed and xanax of course. I kept it all under control for awhile. From not sleeping I got delusional and started hallucinating. I spun out of control, I hit rock bottom,. I decided it was time to change. I have a beautiful 5 or old son who I adore. Why I lived that life for do long is a mystery to me. Things are so crystal clear to me now. I lived in a fog of drugs for 15 yrs. Over the summer I was at 70mg went inpatient they tried to drop me the whole 70 and I hit hard. I was throwing up, s***ting myself. It was bad and I couldn't taste food for 5 days.. My senses came back full force.. I'm not sure if that was from methadone or crystal but, going inpatient was the best decision I've made in yrs. The doctor put me back on 10 mg of methadone which was aug 2015 and now Im at 2 and I feel so much better. It took 5 months for me to adjust on such a low dose.. Everyone is different. After the physical withdrawals, I dealt with all the emotional ups and downs.. The mental and emotional part I feel is the hardest.. Just keep your head up cause it does get easier and if I can overcome and addiction anyone can.. Its a long road to recovery but, it is possible.
6mg subutex
Thank you so much for sharing that. I agree the physical symptoms like chills, flu, throwing up, cramps or whatever is fine with me. It's the mental state that is so hard to handle. When I went down this last time I suddenly had a complete mental shift for the worse. I got depressed, anxious, and such...
I'm staying at 6mg for a bit now until I'm stable and back on track with my meetings, working out, and everything like before. From this last drop everything has fallen to the waist side.
Everyone who is going through a taper to get off I commend you! It's a long journey and it's hard one I will admit. I'm a strong man and pretty tough also. But, this long drawn out process is not about the fight but how much fight you have in you. I had detoxed from heroin cold turkey puking, s----myself, cramps, sweating I mean the think of it and made it through many times. I also detoxed through a detox center many many times! Once I was off I was off and back to normal in a few weeks. This methadone and subutex is another beast in itself. But, I'm not throwing in the towel ever! I can do it, it's just going to take a little longer now than I thought.
Thank you so much for sharing that. I agree the physical symptoms like chills, flu, throwing up, cramps or whatever is fine with me. It's the mental state that is so hard to handle. When I went down this last time I suddenly had a complete mental shift for the worse. I got depressed, anxious, and such...
I'm staying at 6mg for a bit now until I'm stable and back on track with my meetings, working out, and everything like before. From this last drop everything has fallen to the waist side.
Everyone who is going through a taper to get off I commend you! It's a long journey and it's hard one I will admit. I'm a strong man and pretty tough also. But, this long drawn out process is not about the fight but how much fight you have in you. I had detoxed from heroin cold turkey puking, s----myself, cramps, sweating I mean the think of it and made it through many times. I also detoxed through a detox center many many times! Once I was off I was off and back to normal in a few weeks. This methadone and subutex is another beast in itself. But, I'm not throwing in the towel ever! I can do it, it's just going to take a little longer now than I thought.
6mg sub
I just took my 6mg dose about an hour and a half ago and feel it really kicking in now. I feel the relief it's providing. I'm surly feeling the taper because that's not normal to feel a relief like that from taking my dose.
I just took my 6mg dose about an hour and a half ago and feel it really kicking in now. I feel the relief it's providing. I'm surly feeling the taper because that's not normal to feel a relief like that from taking my dose.
6mg sub
I feel horrible and woke up this morning with that anxiety in my body. I was restless rolling around and up at 3am. This stuff is serious business tapering. I watched a movie yesterday called, Where are you Simone. It was a documentary about Nina Simone and her life and ways reminded me of me. I think I probably have been struggling with Depression all my life and using drink and drugs to cope. Also, watching the way her behavior, choices and life went down hill as she got older and older. I am getting help from my doctor. I see him again soon and am going to talk to him about how im feeling.
I feel horrible and woke up this morning with that anxiety in my body. I was restless rolling around and up at 3am. This stuff is serious business tapering. I watched a movie yesterday called, Where are you Simone. It was a documentary about Nina Simone and her life and ways reminded me of me. I think I probably have been struggling with Depression all my life and using drink and drugs to cope. Also, watching the way her behavior, choices and life went down hill as she got older and older. I am getting help from my doctor. I see him again soon and am going to talk to him about how im feeling.
Jason:
Talk to the oldtimers at your meetings about what you are feeling.
All the best.
Bob R
Talk to the oldtimers at your meetings about what you are feeling.
All the best.
Bob R
6mg sub
Ya I need to do that. I started to isolate again since this last drop. I quit going to my morning meetings because I'm not sleeping. I quit going to gym because I have no energy. I started eating horrible and not caring. Wow, what a huge impact this last drop was. If I ever get off this completely, which I will, I swear I'm going to push for more data collection for every operating clinic. What is happening with the patients. How many want off start and never get off. How many are using other drugs while on methadone/sub's. How many are truly working. I think there should be a big discussion before getting on the program about the dependence that develops and is 10times as hard to break than heroin or oxy's.
Ya I need to do that. I started to isolate again since this last drop. I quit going to my morning meetings because I'm not sleeping. I quit going to gym because I have no energy. I started eating horrible and not caring. Wow, what a huge impact this last drop was. If I ever get off this completely, which I will, I swear I'm going to push for more data collection for every operating clinic. What is happening with the patients. How many want off start and never get off. How many are using other drugs while on methadone/sub's. How many are truly working. I think there should be a big discussion before getting on the program about the dependence that develops and is 10times as hard to break than heroin or oxy's.
6mg sub
Wow! What a hard week! I feel better this morning. It was really a tough drop. The other drops weren't so bad, but this one hit me hard. I can't believe it. I'm on hold to stable out for a bit and then will continue. This is no joke getting off methadone. But, I've come a long ways now from 140mg of methadone to 6mg of subs!
Have a wonderful weekend and God bless everyone!
Wow! What a hard week! I feel better this morning. It was really a tough drop. The other drops weren't so bad, but this one hit me hard. I can't believe it. I'm on hold to stable out for a bit and then will continue. This is no joke getting off methadone. But, I've come a long ways now from 140mg of methadone to 6mg of subs!
Have a wonderful weekend and God bless everyone!
Make a list of what you have to do today.
Put MEETING at the top of the list .....
All the best.
Bob
Put MEETING at the top of the list .....
All the best.
Bob
If a doc told me I had to go two weeks at zero mg per day for ANY reason, I would have very bad thoughts of that person! I am down from 60mg to 30mg per day and can not imagine going cold turkey for TWO WEEKS! If I could go TWO WEEKS with none then I would physically be OFF it after enduring a hellish withdrawal! That makes no sense except as a way of saying NO to the suboxone or trying to manipulate you into going cold turkey... I would have to change doctors is my take on THAT
Now that I am down to 30mg/day which I got to with ZERO effort btw simply by forgetting to dose until I started feeling bad! Because thankfully I am not on a maintenance program so I take it only when I WANT to rather than having only one window every day and no reserve of med! I can see how doing it the clinic dole way would work AGAINST someone naturally tapering as I have done.
But 30mg/day seems to be the floor of what I could drop to without effort. NOW I am intent on consciously forcing the issue! I just am not sure what the BEST dosing schedule is going to be especially sense I DEPLORE scheduled ANYTHIngS! My first whack at is this: I took a seven day pill dispenser container that put 3 10mg pills in each day cube. I am on day two and yesterday I only took TWO! I was already exhausted so I wound up sleeping until the wee hours of the nest day (today) and I was feeling the lack of drug so I took ONE pill. Several hours later I I was feeling puny and wanted to take another full pill bu fought that and took just a half. Now it is 7:20 pm and I actually till feel ok! I KNOW that could change ANY second because that is the way with me...often it does not gradually begin to begin to get uncomfortable but goes WHAM from feeling fine to full nerve contraction (a term I JUST now invented because it feels like THAT to me...like my whole person convulses inward in a kind of severe malaise pain contraction of all my nerves at one time) So I have like 4 1/2 hours until I am officially into the next day...when I finally begin to hurt I can either do another whole pill and still be in my target of 2 1/2 pills per day (25 mg) OR I can try for a repeat of yesterday's accomplishment of only 2 pills /20 mg for the whole day! I am thinking to try for the repeat! I don't anticipate this is going to keep working for many days but it might be a good experiment to learn what to expect from my body? Any thoughts or advice?
Now that I am down to 30mg/day which I got to with ZERO effort btw simply by forgetting to dose until I started feeling bad! Because thankfully I am not on a maintenance program so I take it only when I WANT to rather than having only one window every day and no reserve of med! I can see how doing it the clinic dole way would work AGAINST someone naturally tapering as I have done.
But 30mg/day seems to be the floor of what I could drop to without effort. NOW I am intent on consciously forcing the issue! I just am not sure what the BEST dosing schedule is going to be especially sense I DEPLORE scheduled ANYTHIngS! My first whack at is this: I took a seven day pill dispenser container that put 3 10mg pills in each day cube. I am on day two and yesterday I only took TWO! I was already exhausted so I wound up sleeping until the wee hours of the nest day (today) and I was feeling the lack of drug so I took ONE pill. Several hours later I I was feeling puny and wanted to take another full pill bu fought that and took just a half. Now it is 7:20 pm and I actually till feel ok! I KNOW that could change ANY second because that is the way with me...often it does not gradually begin to begin to get uncomfortable but goes WHAM from feeling fine to full nerve contraction (a term I JUST now invented because it feels like THAT to me...like my whole person convulses inward in a kind of severe malaise pain contraction of all my nerves at one time) So I have like 4 1/2 hours until I am officially into the next day...when I finally begin to hurt I can either do another whole pill and still be in my target of 2 1/2 pills per day (25 mg) OR I can try for a repeat of yesterday's accomplishment of only 2 pills /20 mg for the whole day! I am thinking to try for the repeat! I don't anticipate this is going to keep working for many days but it might be a good experiment to learn what to expect from my body? Any thoughts or advice?
Doug - a lot of tapering depends on how long you have been on methadone. I would recommend that you taper slowly and start drinking lots of water and exercise. Methadone has a long half life that means it stays in your system a long time. Your going to start wd after about 7 days from your last dose, and its not fun but I did it and so can you.
