Good morning,
Well the roof is leaking by the sky light. Weve had so much rain that theres water damage. My son in law is getting on the roof to put a tarp up. Hello Sunday lol
Last night was my Son in laws birthday. We had a prime rib dinner and German chocolate cake from a bakery. He cooked the roast perfectly. We really had a nice time. These are the things that I look forward to now. Instead of methadone or heroin.
Well Im livid and pretty upset. I went to my Walgreens pharmacy and once again they closed the pharmacy for the weekend..Im totally out of almost all of my medications and I have heart and blood thinners Im out of. But even though Im out of these Im not freaking out like if I was on methadone. I dont like being dope sick. That was my driving force. To never experience that.
Speaking of being dope sick I really believe marijuana helps with withdrawals. I read an article that supports that theory. The Biden administration has allowed more testing of thc than any other administration.
My son in law just put a tarp up over the skylight on the roof. He jumped right on covering it up so theres no more leaking. Im impressed with how fast he covered it up. Drugs make you procrastinate and leave things until the next day. At least for me it was like that. Now of course I expect things timely and normal.
Well Im on my third cup of coffee and not so zippy. Im gonna get this posted before I change my mindBye
Hi,
Well we might get snow on Christmas night. Then 2 weeks after too. It doesnt snow here but once in a blue moon. The mozzarella sticks exploded in the air fryer. I couldnt stop laughing and now it brings a smile to my face. A good laugh is the best feeling.
I finally went to the pharmacy and got my prescriptions. It was very chaotic and they couldnt find one medicine so I have to go back. But you know what no one was bitching about waiting in line. They had accepted it.
When I quit I didnt let other peoples values taint mine. Im not going to name names but certain groups make you feel bad if your not doing it their way. What an awful way to be. Any day not using is a good day IMO.
I wanted to post a little something. Have a beautiful day ..PeaceLove and Hippie Beads
Well we might get snow on Christmas night. Then 2 weeks after too. It doesnt snow here but once in a blue moon. The mozzarella sticks exploded in the air fryer. I couldnt stop laughing and now it brings a smile to my face. A good laugh is the best feeling.
I finally went to the pharmacy and got my prescriptions. It was very chaotic and they couldnt find one medicine so I have to go back. But you know what no one was bitching about waiting in line. They had accepted it.
When I quit I didnt let other peoples values taint mine. Im not going to name names but certain groups make you feel bad if your not doing it their way. What an awful way to be. Any day not using is a good day IMO.
I wanted to post a little something. Have a beautiful day ..PeaceLove and Hippie Beads
Merry Christmas
The granddaughters have opened their presents. Santa has come and gone along with the elf. Its so heartwarming to see them opening their gifts and loving them.
Tonight we are under a storm watch and might get snow. We hardly ever get snow on the valley floor. The kids would love it. I would too. My daughter and her husband dont drink. I dont either. Im very grateful I dont have to be around drinkers. I bartended for 15 years. My parents owned the bar. I really enjoyed my job. But now I choose not to be around it.
I would be freaking out if I was on methadone because of the storm watch. Uncertainty is something I tried to avoid. Being dope sick isnt an option. So then theres risky behavior to get well. I remember when I learned to hustle. First it was dumpster diving for cans. Easy fun times. In the nicer weather the dorms dumpsters were full of stuff from overseas students. I lived by the dorms so it was easy to collect furniture to sell . Wed find unpainted furniture and paint them in pastels. People bought that stuff up. Even though money was easy I still needed more to stay well. Its a never ending cycle. Then I was introduced to flying a sign essentially begging but with a sign. Lucrative oh my goodness. I would stand or sit and make money in minutes flying a sign. I had sunk so low that I just accepted begging as a way of life. This was all done years ago before people got fed up with panhandlers.
Im older and now everything is so overrun with tweaked hoodlums. The dope is bad news. The people are bad news and the homeless community puts up with this. We have a large presence of homeless that ride their bikes around and steal. Im a big advocate for the homeless. Im a friend of the homeless. I believe everyone should have safe spot to sleep. Enough on this subject because I could go on and on.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas.Sending good vibes your way.
The granddaughters have opened their presents. Santa has come and gone along with the elf. Its so heartwarming to see them opening their gifts and loving them.
Tonight we are under a storm watch and might get snow. We hardly ever get snow on the valley floor. The kids would love it. I would too. My daughter and her husband dont drink. I dont either. Im very grateful I dont have to be around drinkers. I bartended for 15 years. My parents owned the bar. I really enjoyed my job. But now I choose not to be around it.
I would be freaking out if I was on methadone because of the storm watch. Uncertainty is something I tried to avoid. Being dope sick isnt an option. So then theres risky behavior to get well. I remember when I learned to hustle. First it was dumpster diving for cans. Easy fun times. In the nicer weather the dorms dumpsters were full of stuff from overseas students. I lived by the dorms so it was easy to collect furniture to sell . Wed find unpainted furniture and paint them in pastels. People bought that stuff up. Even though money was easy I still needed more to stay well. Its a never ending cycle. Then I was introduced to flying a sign essentially begging but with a sign. Lucrative oh my goodness. I would stand or sit and make money in minutes flying a sign. I had sunk so low that I just accepted begging as a way of life. This was all done years ago before people got fed up with panhandlers.
Im older and now everything is so overrun with tweaked hoodlums. The dope is bad news. The people are bad news and the homeless community puts up with this. We have a large presence of homeless that ride their bikes around and steal. Im a big advocate for the homeless. Im a friend of the homeless. I believe everyone should have safe spot to sleep. Enough on this subject because I could go on and on.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas.Sending good vibes your way.
Hey there people:)
It snowed today and its suppose to snow until tomorrow. We got 7 inches and snow is still falling. I had to cancel my blood drawing appt . Its humorous because Ive had to cancel three appts through no fault of my own. I really need to get my blood drawn though. I also have medication I have to pick up. My plans are now on hold.
I dont bat an eye at the small stuff. The big stuff I think positively and it turns out okay. Thats something Ive learned to do. Its wasted energy when your negative.
I think Ive mentioned this before. When I saw a counselor I did guided meditations. She would talk and Id visualize what she was saying. Its very relaxing. I dont see one anymore. In fact Im doing okay hanging with my family. My daughter told me when my first granddaughter was born that she would disown me if I used heroin again. I had been blocked from leaving my house by my boyfriend. I was scared. Because Ive been a battered woman I jumped at the opportunity to receive a phone that can call 911. I hid it and I used it. I got him arrested and left him. He did 18 months.
Well this would of freaked me out if I was on methadone. I take the bus or ride in a car. So when the weather is bad it can affect my ride. I suffer from anxiety and cant drive anymore. This presents its own types of problems. I really dont like to take the bus unless I cant get a ride.
Well Im getting tired..peacelove and hippie beads
It snowed today and its suppose to snow until tomorrow. We got 7 inches and snow is still falling. I had to cancel my blood drawing appt . Its humorous because Ive had to cancel three appts through no fault of my own. I really need to get my blood drawn though. I also have medication I have to pick up. My plans are now on hold.
I dont bat an eye at the small stuff. The big stuff I think positively and it turns out okay. Thats something Ive learned to do. Its wasted energy when your negative.
I think Ive mentioned this before. When I saw a counselor I did guided meditations. She would talk and Id visualize what she was saying. Its very relaxing. I dont see one anymore. In fact Im doing okay hanging with my family. My daughter told me when my first granddaughter was born that she would disown me if I used heroin again. I had been blocked from leaving my house by my boyfriend. I was scared. Because Ive been a battered woman I jumped at the opportunity to receive a phone that can call 911. I hid it and I used it. I got him arrested and left him. He did 18 months.
Well this would of freaked me out if I was on methadone. I take the bus or ride in a car. So when the weather is bad it can affect my ride. I suffer from anxiety and cant drive anymore. This presents its own types of problems. I really dont like to take the bus unless I cant get a ride.
Well Im getting tired..peacelove and hippie beads
Hi,
We have about 10 inches of snow its so pretty. I love the snow. I dont drive so its easy peasy for me. Theres a little more to my not driving. When I went off Xanax I suffered from seizures. I was fortunate I never had one while climbing stairs. I quit driving immediately. I suffered from random seizures for a year or so. Many many trips to the emergency dept. in an ambulance.
I pride myself in quitting 4mg Xanax a day prescribed by my doctor. I felt that this was too good to be true. Im always paranoid that my doctor will move or quit. So I quit Xanax cold turkey. Well a couple months passed and my doctor retired. I was already not taking Xanax. But damn another one of my doctors quits. Im not being a victim to Doctors not caring about me. Oh hell no. I dont trust them because money is involved. If you can pay they care. If you cant they dont.
Im kinda bored today. I feel restless. Well Ive got a brain fart. Ill post later.
We have about 10 inches of snow its so pretty. I love the snow. I dont drive so its easy peasy for me. Theres a little more to my not driving. When I went off Xanax I suffered from seizures. I was fortunate I never had one while climbing stairs. I quit driving immediately. I suffered from random seizures for a year or so. Many many trips to the emergency dept. in an ambulance.
I pride myself in quitting 4mg Xanax a day prescribed by my doctor. I felt that this was too good to be true. Im always paranoid that my doctor will move or quit. So I quit Xanax cold turkey. Well a couple months passed and my doctor retired. I was already not taking Xanax. But damn another one of my doctors quits. Im not being a victim to Doctors not caring about me. Oh hell no. I dont trust them because money is involved. If you can pay they care. If you cant they dont.
Im kinda bored today. I feel restless. Well Ive got a brain fart. Ill post later.
Well its the last day of 2021. I just finished watching The things we lost in the fire. It has a heroin addict thats trying to get and stay clean. He doesnt want to go on methadone. He goes cold turkey and then to rehab. When I was going cold turkey I was hating life. Always fantasizing about getting well. Then I found out about methadone. It was a miracle dosing in the morning and staying well till the next morning.
When I began using heroin I didnt know about methadone. When I found out about it I went and got on it. I never went real high in my methadone. 80mg. Is the highest I got on methadone. You can go higher but why?
I always think of the come down. I realized I couldnt control my heroin addiction. I was gonna get sick here and there. I didnt like those odds.
Methadone saved me from heroin plain and simple. If you really want to make this successful you need to give yourself adequate time to taper. I got fed up with my clinic because everyone acted like they were actively using. Selling benzos and other . So I rapidly detoxed 1mg a day until I got to 0. I had no energy and I dont drive.
Asking for help is something thats hard for me. I needed help and asked my fellow NA people for help. Well didnt get a lot of help. For me I wanted to go to meetings but no way to get there. It was really an inconvenience and I quit going. Not sure why just talking is helpful to not using. Talking about your drug problems and abstinence doesnt equate being healthy imo.
Maybe Ive got a chip on my shoulder about my experience. In any event Im not using methadone and its been years.
I think Ill post later tonight.Happy daylast day of 2021
When I began using heroin I didnt know about methadone. When I found out about it I went and got on it. I never went real high in my methadone. 80mg. Is the highest I got on methadone. You can go higher but why?
I always think of the come down. I realized I couldnt control my heroin addiction. I was gonna get sick here and there. I didnt like those odds.
Methadone saved me from heroin plain and simple. If you really want to make this successful you need to give yourself adequate time to taper. I got fed up with my clinic because everyone acted like they were actively using. Selling benzos and other . So I rapidly detoxed 1mg a day until I got to 0. I had no energy and I dont drive.
Asking for help is something thats hard for me. I needed help and asked my fellow NA people for help. Well didnt get a lot of help. For me I wanted to go to meetings but no way to get there. It was really an inconvenience and I quit going. Not sure why just talking is helpful to not using. Talking about your drug problems and abstinence doesnt equate being healthy imo.
Maybe Ive got a chip on my shoulder about my experience. In any event Im not using methadone and its been years.
I think Ill post later tonight.Happy daylast day of 2021
Happy New Year !!!!!
Good morning,
Its January 2nd and I made resolutions that I have kept. I know its only one day but Im proud of myself. Thats the way it was for me when I tapered methadone. Everyday I knew I was getting closer to my goal. It took me years to taper slowly and get off methadone. For me I didnt want to suffer. Many people believe that you have to suffer so you wont go back to it. Well that wasnt the case with me. Its possible to not feel like crap and achieve your goal.
I think thats why Suboxone is so tempting because you dont have to go to the clinic. Thats one of the reasons I wanted to get off of methadone was because of the clinic. Our methadone clinic was downtown in a refurbished house. Around the corner was the coffee shop everyone hung out at. It became the new drug den. Sure the people were on methadone but they still dealt and did crime. Benzodiazepines were traded and sold there.
At the time I was married and my husband was on methadone too. He was a convicted felon and crime was his middle name. At this time we were separated and never got back together. He is doing 60 years in prison now. i Had always been scared of him after I realized he was a dark soul. Methadone doesnt cure everything.
Ive grown a lot being opiate free including methadone. I dont try to fix things or get upset at life. I just take it one day at a time.
Have a beautiful Sunday..
Its January 2nd and I made resolutions that I have kept. I know its only one day but Im proud of myself. Thats the way it was for me when I tapered methadone. Everyday I knew I was getting closer to my goal. It took me years to taper slowly and get off methadone. For me I didnt want to suffer. Many people believe that you have to suffer so you wont go back to it. Well that wasnt the case with me. Its possible to not feel like crap and achieve your goal.
I think thats why Suboxone is so tempting because you dont have to go to the clinic. Thats one of the reasons I wanted to get off of methadone was because of the clinic. Our methadone clinic was downtown in a refurbished house. Around the corner was the coffee shop everyone hung out at. It became the new drug den. Sure the people were on methadone but they still dealt and did crime. Benzodiazepines were traded and sold there.
At the time I was married and my husband was on methadone too. He was a convicted felon and crime was his middle name. At this time we were separated and never got back together. He is doing 60 years in prison now. i Had always been scared of him after I realized he was a dark soul. Methadone doesnt cure everything.
Ive grown a lot being opiate free including methadone. I dont try to fix things or get upset at life. I just take it one day at a time.
Have a beautiful Sunday..
Good morning everyone
Well yesterday was a shocker. Somehow mom and I got to talking and I mentioned that I post for a methadone site. She asked if she could read it. I decided its too sad for a mother to read. She knows I was a heroin addict and took methadone though. She is so far removed from drugs and doesnt know what a 12 step program is.
I didnt nod too often and I didnt use excessively. There were no red flags for her to have known. At the time she was dating one man and it occupied her time plus she was so happy. My mother is quite beautiful and is well off. She was quite the catch after my dad died. Anyways they got married, theyre still married. In the winter she goes to Palm Desert so I dont see her for six months at a time.
Ive always had an apartment and up until this last boyfriend (7 years ago) a man living with me. Now I live with my cat and life is easy. No drama or lies anymore. Plus domestic .violence. No more being afraid.
Have a beautiful day..peace
Well yesterday was a shocker. Somehow mom and I got to talking and I mentioned that I post for a methadone site. She asked if she could read it. I decided its too sad for a mother to read. She knows I was a heroin addict and took methadone though. She is so far removed from drugs and doesnt know what a 12 step program is.
I didnt nod too often and I didnt use excessively. There were no red flags for her to have known. At the time she was dating one man and it occupied her time plus she was so happy. My mother is quite beautiful and is well off. She was quite the catch after my dad died. Anyways they got married, theyre still married. In the winter she goes to Palm Desert so I dont see her for six months at a time.
Ive always had an apartment and up until this last boyfriend (7 years ago) a man living with me. Now I live with my cat and life is easy. No drama or lies anymore. Plus domestic .violence. No more being afraid.
Have a beautiful day..peace
Good morning,
A lot of positive stuff has been happening for me. My New Years resolution has been kept this week. Im smiling and so proud.
Im just realizing I can tackle anything one day at a time. This year Ive taken the hardest thing and applied what I learned from stopping methadone. Ive achieved my goal for the week. .
Ive been getting really bored lately and need to find a hobby. Beading is what Im leaning towards. When I was in treatment for Heroin I was beading. It helped settle my mind.
Well I just wanted to say hello.peacelove.hippie beads
A lot of positive stuff has been happening for me. My New Years resolution has been kept this week. Im smiling and so proud.
Im just realizing I can tackle anything one day at a time. This year Ive taken the hardest thing and applied what I learned from stopping methadone. Ive achieved my goal for the week. .
Ive been getting really bored lately and need to find a hobby. Beading is what Im leaning towards. When I was in treatment for Heroin I was beading. It helped settle my mind.
Well I just wanted to say hello.peacelove.hippie beads
Good morning,
Im feeling pretty swell. Ive got two friends now. I connected with a junior high school friend and another woman. Im stoked to have friends. Things are moving rather swiftly for me and Im excited.
Ive been invited to go to an Alpha group study on Thursdays. Im gonna go. Its on its second week. They serve dinner too. Im not real comfortable in group settings but life gets lonely when your all by yourself. So needless to say Im going. Im branching out.
I have strong opinions about things but will always look at the other side. So Im going to a Alpha meeting on Thursday.
Im feeling pretty swell. Ive got two friends now. I connected with a junior high school friend and another woman. Im stoked to have friends. Things are moving rather swiftly for me and Im excited.
Ive been invited to go to an Alpha group study on Thursdays. Im gonna go. Its on its second week. They serve dinner too. Im not real comfortable in group settings but life gets lonely when your all by yourself. So needless to say Im going. Im branching out.
I have strong opinions about things but will always look at the other side. So Im going to a Alpha meeting on Thursday.
Good morning,
Well Im doing good methadone free too. Lol. I woke up smiling and in a very good mood. Im feeding the dogs now while I post.
Yesterday I was talking to my junior-high school friend and she said she needs to get back to meetings. I asked her if she wants to drink she said no. (She has 14years). But what she said next really resonated with me. She said she was becoming a dry drunk and needed to get to meetings to feel better. I never really thought about it like that. Im all for feeling better and whatever is needed to achieve this. AA was designed for heavy end of the road drunks. That was in the beginning and I thoroughly believe it benefits drinkers. Now dont skin me alive but NA is a knock off from that. Not as effective and many go back out. Why because alcohol and drugs react differently. Anyways enough on my opinions. Everyone has one though.
Its given me something to think about. For me personally sitting and talking in a meeting doesnt work for me. As far as achieving my goals. I needed medication to quit.
I dont mean to beat a dead horse but the bottom is I quit opiates and methadone. I really dont believe in the cork in the bottle scenario but if you need it touch. Am I making sense. Wow I need to settle down Loretta.
One thing Im thinking of doing is sharing my story. Coming in and being a guest speaker or writing a book. Another thing Im contemplating is working in a detox center. They need people it would be a rewarding and gut wrenching at the same time. Bringing back memories of my time there. Im a very caring individual who bonds easily with homeless, druggies and alcoholics. Its always been the case. I dont offend them. They feel comfortable talking to me.
My friend also said because I quit heroin she quit drinking. Wow thats heavy. Shes Native American and drinking was her thing. I feel grateful that I could help.
Have a beautiful hump daypeace
Well Im doing good methadone free too. Lol. I woke up smiling and in a very good mood. Im feeding the dogs now while I post.
Yesterday I was talking to my junior-high school friend and she said she needs to get back to meetings. I asked her if she wants to drink she said no. (She has 14years). But what she said next really resonated with me. She said she was becoming a dry drunk and needed to get to meetings to feel better. I never really thought about it like that. Im all for feeling better and whatever is needed to achieve this. AA was designed for heavy end of the road drunks. That was in the beginning and I thoroughly believe it benefits drinkers. Now dont skin me alive but NA is a knock off from that. Not as effective and many go back out. Why because alcohol and drugs react differently. Anyways enough on my opinions. Everyone has one though.
Its given me something to think about. For me personally sitting and talking in a meeting doesnt work for me. As far as achieving my goals. I needed medication to quit.
I dont mean to beat a dead horse but the bottom is I quit opiates and methadone. I really dont believe in the cork in the bottle scenario but if you need it touch. Am I making sense. Wow I need to settle down Loretta.
One thing Im thinking of doing is sharing my story. Coming in and being a guest speaker or writing a book. Another thing Im contemplating is working in a detox center. They need people it would be a rewarding and gut wrenching at the same time. Bringing back memories of my time there. Im a very caring individual who bonds easily with homeless, druggies and alcoholics. Its always been the case. I dont offend them. They feel comfortable talking to me.
My friend also said because I quit heroin she quit drinking. Wow thats heavy. Shes Native American and drinking was her thing. I feel grateful that I could help.
Have a beautiful hump daypeace
Good morning,
Slept 4 hours now Im wide awake. Its 2:52 am. So I made myself a cup of coffee and thought Id post.
Well all day yesterday I was concerned about going to an Alpha meeting. I found out its at a church and is about beginning Christianity. They serve dinner and talk. Well hell no. Organized religion isnt my thing. Plus not a beginner. Now dont judge me but I used to do speed and study the Bible. Days on end reading and reading. But ya know what I know my stuff. Lol
My high school friend came over and we reconnected. She brought me some handmade gifts and we laughed and laughed. Shes got 14 years off of alcohol and I guess I have over that off heroin then methadone. Im terrible I dont keep track of my start dates.
One thing I would do is go to a 12 step meeting if asked. I can be a supportive friend on that. We have a clubhouse in our community that has NA and AA groups all hours. Ive been in and out of there so I know quite a few people. Its not weird for me. Im not a believer in just talking though. Times have changed and there is medical help out there. Methadone was my medical help.
When I started off with heroin I didnt know about methadone. Our community detox believed in cold turkey. Never mentioned methadone. I believe I wouldnt of used heroin so long if someone had told me about it.
When I went to my first methadone clinic they got me in quick. My husband was on the program and they liked to have married people both on it. Well my husband wasnt interested in following the program or rules. If he had takeouts hed sell them. He really never wanted to quit and was using methadone much as the same way as heroin. He had a whole network of scoundrels to sell and buy all types of drugs. He gave the clinic a bad name.
Things were going good for me dosing at 80ml. and staying away from heroin. I know Ive posted this before but they gave us 30 days and then they were shutting the doors. 30 days isnt long enough to come off of 80ml. So back to heroin and methadone.
I know this will be controversial but being on methadone is still an opiate. Your still on opiates. Of course its hard to come off of fast but if you go slow youll have an easier time. Its 3:42 am. On second cup of coffee will make pot at 4. Basically you have to take methadone or your gonna be sick.
Have a beautiful day..
Slept 4 hours now Im wide awake. Its 2:52 am. So I made myself a cup of coffee and thought Id post.
Well all day yesterday I was concerned about going to an Alpha meeting. I found out its at a church and is about beginning Christianity. They serve dinner and talk. Well hell no. Organized religion isnt my thing. Plus not a beginner. Now dont judge me but I used to do speed and study the Bible. Days on end reading and reading. But ya know what I know my stuff. Lol
My high school friend came over and we reconnected. She brought me some handmade gifts and we laughed and laughed. Shes got 14 years off of alcohol and I guess I have over that off heroin then methadone. Im terrible I dont keep track of my start dates.
One thing I would do is go to a 12 step meeting if asked. I can be a supportive friend on that. We have a clubhouse in our community that has NA and AA groups all hours. Ive been in and out of there so I know quite a few people. Its not weird for me. Im not a believer in just talking though. Times have changed and there is medical help out there. Methadone was my medical help.
When I started off with heroin I didnt know about methadone. Our community detox believed in cold turkey. Never mentioned methadone. I believe I wouldnt of used heroin so long if someone had told me about it.
When I went to my first methadone clinic they got me in quick. My husband was on the program and they liked to have married people both on it. Well my husband wasnt interested in following the program or rules. If he had takeouts hed sell them. He really never wanted to quit and was using methadone much as the same way as heroin. He had a whole network of scoundrels to sell and buy all types of drugs. He gave the clinic a bad name.
Things were going good for me dosing at 80ml. and staying away from heroin. I know Ive posted this before but they gave us 30 days and then they were shutting the doors. 30 days isnt long enough to come off of 80ml. So back to heroin and methadone.
I know this will be controversial but being on methadone is still an opiate. Your still on opiates. Of course its hard to come off of fast but if you go slow youll have an easier time. Its 3:42 am. On second cup of coffee will make pot at 4. Basically you have to take methadone or your gonna be sick.
Have a beautiful day..
Good morning,
Well my new friend who invited me to a Alpha meeting isnt messaging me anymore. The class is at a church and the whole thing is about the Bible. What the heck it sounds awful to me. She asked and said it was okay if I didnt want to go . I told her I didnt want to go. Then she stopped messaging me. Im definitely not interested in organized religion. Im more of a feed homeless in the park kinda person.
I feel blindsided by this and definitely dont want to go to the meeting At ALL. Passive aggressive is the feeling I got. Maybe shell just stop messaging me and this matter too. I feel like a bit of drama has come. Which I dont deal with at all.
I just needed to vent to the world. Ill write more later.
Well sleeping 5 hours and then getting up is wearing me down but I cant sleep. So I got up turned on the ice machine and made a cup of coffee. A strong cup of coffee. This brings back memories of being on methadone and not sleeping well. I loved being up when everyone is sleeping. I use to draw a lot and it helped me.
Thinking about working at the detox center really intrigues me. They helped me so much. I have an easy and relatable story. I bond easily with druggies because I was one for so long. Plus Im not pushing anything other than stopping methadone.
Have a great day
Well my new friend who invited me to a Alpha meeting isnt messaging me anymore. The class is at a church and the whole thing is about the Bible. What the heck it sounds awful to me. She asked and said it was okay if I didnt want to go . I told her I didnt want to go. Then she stopped messaging me. Im definitely not interested in organized religion. Im more of a feed homeless in the park kinda person.
I feel blindsided by this and definitely dont want to go to the meeting At ALL. Passive aggressive is the feeling I got. Maybe shell just stop messaging me and this matter too. I feel like a bit of drama has come. Which I dont deal with at all.
I just needed to vent to the world. Ill write more later.
Well sleeping 5 hours and then getting up is wearing me down but I cant sleep. So I got up turned on the ice machine and made a cup of coffee. A strong cup of coffee. This brings back memories of being on methadone and not sleeping well. I loved being up when everyone is sleeping. I use to draw a lot and it helped me.
Thinking about working at the detox center really intrigues me. They helped me so much. I have an easy and relatable story. I bond easily with druggies because I was one for so long. Plus Im not pushing anything other than stopping methadone.
Have a great day
Good morning 2:28 am,
I slept for a couple hours and got up cause I cant sleep. I never use to sleep but this past year I could sleep 8 hours and take a 2 hour nap. Recovery from ohs. I fell last week and my back and knee are messed up. I need to go find out whats going on. Its hard to walk. Anyways gonna call the doctor and get an appt.
Sooooo my granddaughters had cheer competition on Saturday. Yesterday we found out her coach and two other girls have Covid. Ive been exposed. . One thing thats nice about not being tied to a methadone clinic I dont have to worry because of quarantine. I cant imagine what the clients did while they were figuring out what to do when Covid hit. Being the paranoid person I was when on methadone I stashed and bought methadone in case something happened. Everyone of my doctors, relocated, quit, retired and I think she wouldnt get vaccinated. Anyways not one of those doctors talked about getting off of methadone. Your opiate receptors have a long memory and it takes awhile to taper off. Its very doable.
My friend messaged me and we didnt talk about the Alpha group or going to church. Now with the Covid exposure Im home for a bit. Thank my lucky stars Im not on methadone during this uncertainty. Id be a wreck and probably sick. Im never sick either anymore. Not dope sick but flu sick. When the family gets sick I dont.
Wow Ive almost been up 3 hours. 2 cups = to 5 cups coffee drank. Shall I make another cup? That is the question this morning. Lol. Clearly Im on the border of too much Java.
Okay one more cup that equals 2 1/2 cups. Ya know I feel compelled to keep posting. My journey is still going and I want to talk about it. Because anyone can be successful in getting off methadone. Ya just got to take it one day at a time.
Have a beautiful Monday..peace
I slept for a couple hours and got up cause I cant sleep. I never use to sleep but this past year I could sleep 8 hours and take a 2 hour nap. Recovery from ohs. I fell last week and my back and knee are messed up. I need to go find out whats going on. Its hard to walk. Anyways gonna call the doctor and get an appt.
Sooooo my granddaughters had cheer competition on Saturday. Yesterday we found out her coach and two other girls have Covid. Ive been exposed. . One thing thats nice about not being tied to a methadone clinic I dont have to worry because of quarantine. I cant imagine what the clients did while they were figuring out what to do when Covid hit. Being the paranoid person I was when on methadone I stashed and bought methadone in case something happened. Everyone of my doctors, relocated, quit, retired and I think she wouldnt get vaccinated. Anyways not one of those doctors talked about getting off of methadone. Your opiate receptors have a long memory and it takes awhile to taper off. Its very doable.
My friend messaged me and we didnt talk about the Alpha group or going to church. Now with the Covid exposure Im home for a bit. Thank my lucky stars Im not on methadone during this uncertainty. Id be a wreck and probably sick. Im never sick either anymore. Not dope sick but flu sick. When the family gets sick I dont.
Wow Ive almost been up 3 hours. 2 cups = to 5 cups coffee drank. Shall I make another cup? That is the question this morning. Lol. Clearly Im on the border of too much Java.
Okay one more cup that equals 2 1/2 cups. Ya know I feel compelled to keep posting. My journey is still going and I want to talk about it. Because anyone can be successful in getting off methadone. Ya just got to take it one day at a time.
Have a beautiful Monday..peace
Good morning,
Cant sleep again on my 5th cup of Java. I dont mind having to get up when I dont sleep. I sip my coffee and go over the days events before the news comes on.
My friend invited me to another Alpha meeting at the church. Baptist at that. Some dont believe in dancing like the Footloose movie with Kevin Bacon. Thats just too much in my BUISNESS kinda nonsense. Who fuels these notions. Lol.
Well another praising of methadone. Saved my life and now I dont take it any longer. I loved methadone in that it kept me away from heroin. Thats something to be grateful for. Methadone does require a long taper to successfully get off of it. 1ml a month 2ml if your brave at 30ml. I was able to taper to 30ml easily. Then I went slower.
Now that theyre pushing Suboxone methadone has kinda taken the back seat. I hated Suboxone it made me depressed and lethargic. But it worked for heroin withdrawals and after 7 days the whole circus would begin again. But Im a pro medication person. No need to suffer.
Ill be glad to get to urgent care for my back and knee. I fell before Christmas and its getting worse. My goal is to get x-rays maybe an mri so we can figure out whats going on. Im not looking for pain medicine lol. Sometimes I have to say that first so they realize I need answers about my pain.
Have a beautiful day..peace
Cant sleep again on my 5th cup of Java. I dont mind having to get up when I dont sleep. I sip my coffee and go over the days events before the news comes on.
My friend invited me to another Alpha meeting at the church. Baptist at that. Some dont believe in dancing like the Footloose movie with Kevin Bacon. Thats just too much in my BUISNESS kinda nonsense. Who fuels these notions. Lol.
Well another praising of methadone. Saved my life and now I dont take it any longer. I loved methadone in that it kept me away from heroin. Thats something to be grateful for. Methadone does require a long taper to successfully get off of it. 1ml a month 2ml if your brave at 30ml. I was able to taper to 30ml easily. Then I went slower.
Now that theyre pushing Suboxone methadone has kinda taken the back seat. I hated Suboxone it made me depressed and lethargic. But it worked for heroin withdrawals and after 7 days the whole circus would begin again. But Im a pro medication person. No need to suffer.
Ill be glad to get to urgent care for my back and knee. I fell before Christmas and its getting worse. My goal is to get x-rays maybe an mri so we can figure out whats going on. Im not looking for pain medicine lol. Sometimes I have to say that first so they realize I need answers about my pain.
Have a beautiful day..peace
outstanding. i love hearing about our brothers and sisters breaking free from slow poisoning. happy for you. sounds like its warm where you are. i am ahh umm ready for spring, that warm sun talk gets me all excited. anyway congrats brother. keep it up. i dig encouragement.
Good morning:)
I have to vent. Im just shaking my head chuckling a bit for the absurdity of it all. Well my friend who wanted me to the Alpha groups is a whack a doodle. This morning she asked what my plans were for the weekend. I told her. She then proceeds to tell me ah shucks too bad I cant go. I said why on earth would you think your invited? She said that she likes kids and people. Well a few years back we went to the beach. All she wanted to do was watch people especially kids. This all might seem innocent but its really just sad. Over 20 years ago she was tweaking hard and left her kids and went literally across a busy street to the store. The children decided to try and cross the road at 2:30 ish in the morning in diapers. She got her children taken away. Shes creepy when it comes to children.
Now as bad as I feel for the situation its not my circus not my problem. I said I was sorry and that I empathized with her boyfriend problem. But I cant connect with you and Im gonna block you. Im one blunt women who believes in truth. For both parties.
I dont do drama on any level for anybody. Id rather be alone then have drama. I dont like being preoccupied with others problems if Ive tried to help. Cut em loose. I dont do tough love. I just have boundaries and if ya dont respect them I kinda say bye bye.
Just found out that Churches in our city can host 6 trailers for the homeless. Do they do itno. What a sad world we live in when churches dont help. Thats why I dont do organized meetings because all the higher power talk isnt for me.
Im an ancient alien enthusiast. Dead Sea scrolls, book of enoch etc The Bible was written by men Ive studied it for years. So I say with certainty that the Churches need to do more and talk less. Thats my opinion and I respect yours so please dont be rude.
Im still methadone free and thank my lucky stars that it was available to get off of heroin. Its been years now and what Ive managed to do is weed out what doesnt work for me. Im quick to realize when my feathers are ruffled yes Im a bird. No Im not but I thought it was funny. Okay its time to fly being a bird and all lol. Laugh more today.peace
I have to vent. Im just shaking my head chuckling a bit for the absurdity of it all. Well my friend who wanted me to the Alpha groups is a whack a doodle. This morning she asked what my plans were for the weekend. I told her. She then proceeds to tell me ah shucks too bad I cant go. I said why on earth would you think your invited? She said that she likes kids and people. Well a few years back we went to the beach. All she wanted to do was watch people especially kids. This all might seem innocent but its really just sad. Over 20 years ago she was tweaking hard and left her kids and went literally across a busy street to the store. The children decided to try and cross the road at 2:30 ish in the morning in diapers. She got her children taken away. Shes creepy when it comes to children.
Now as bad as I feel for the situation its not my circus not my problem. I said I was sorry and that I empathized with her boyfriend problem. But I cant connect with you and Im gonna block you. Im one blunt women who believes in truth. For both parties.
I dont do drama on any level for anybody. Id rather be alone then have drama. I dont like being preoccupied with others problems if Ive tried to help. Cut em loose. I dont do tough love. I just have boundaries and if ya dont respect them I kinda say bye bye.
Just found out that Churches in our city can host 6 trailers for the homeless. Do they do itno. What a sad world we live in when churches dont help. Thats why I dont do organized meetings because all the higher power talk isnt for me.
Im an ancient alien enthusiast. Dead Sea scrolls, book of enoch etc The Bible was written by men Ive studied it for years. So I say with certainty that the Churches need to do more and talk less. Thats my opinion and I respect yours so please dont be rude.
Im still methadone free and thank my lucky stars that it was available to get off of heroin. Its been years now and what Ive managed to do is weed out what doesnt work for me. Im quick to realize when my feathers are ruffled yes Im a bird. No Im not but I thought it was funny. Okay its time to fly being a bird and all lol. Laugh more today.peace
everything you said there i think is right on. if a soul does not bring joy to your life, they need not be involved. makes me happy to hear of another soul that got free. nice job SISTER
Hi just sum guy,
Thank you for your kind words, It means a lot. I worked for a long time to become methadone free and Im so glad I persevered.
Its been years since Ive taken methadone. It was one day at a time for years tapering. I jumped at 30ml once so it is possible to go faster. I had some mental health issues that I needed meds for. Once I got that taken care of things got easier. Im still on meds and thriving. No shame in this whatsoever.
I will say having a doctor to prescribe comfort meds is very helpful. Clonadine is a blood pressure medicine that they give for detoxing. It really helps with anxiety.
Have a beautiful day.peace
Thank you for your kind words, It means a lot. I worked for a long time to become methadone free and Im so glad I persevered.
Its been years since Ive taken methadone. It was one day at a time for years tapering. I jumped at 30ml once so it is possible to go faster. I had some mental health issues that I needed meds for. Once I got that taken care of things got easier. Im still on meds and thriving. No shame in this whatsoever.
I will say having a doctor to prescribe comfort meds is very helpful. Clonadine is a blood pressure medicine that they give for detoxing. It really helps with anxiety.
Have a beautiful day.peace
