Boo...I was sexually abused as a child...as an adult...I attended all my sister's AA meetings(before I was using) and the picnics, anniversaries, etc. One of the AA members asked me to drop off a list at his house for an upcoming AA event..it was Christmastime andI was taying with my mom..the whole family was there..so I willingly did, and made the mistake of going into his house...he had been obsessed with me for a while...he reeked of alcohol...threw me on the floor and kept calling me a tease and a w****...started choking me...never molested me..I saw my life flash before my eyes...I begged and begged to be let go...He held me down and I was sure he would kill me...he dialed my mother's house # and left the phone off the hook so they could hear me screaming and begging..I still don't know how I got out...Hence..I do not attend meetings due this traumatic experience...You do what is right for you Terri.....Love, Sharonn
sharonn,
i am sorry to hear about your incident as well and if you ever want to talk my email is naturesprincess@yahoo.com sounds like these arent so isolated incedents afterall huh. maybe we just dont hear about them because people arent brave enough to speak up. i applaud you for your bravery, i know no one likes to hear about such things happening cause they never know what to say and the worst part is people tend to avoid you all together because they don't understand. so like i said if you ever need a talk email me anytime. my email is always open. dj and janet or anyone else who has ever had the same experience whoever just need to talk are all welcome to use my email as well anytime at all.
terrianne
i am sorry to hear about your incident as well and if you ever want to talk my email is naturesprincess@yahoo.com sounds like these arent so isolated incedents afterall huh. maybe we just dont hear about them because people arent brave enough to speak up. i applaud you for your bravery, i know no one likes to hear about such things happening cause they never know what to say and the worst part is people tend to avoid you all together because they don't understand. so like i said if you ever need a talk email me anytime. my email is always open. dj and janet or anyone else who has ever had the same experience whoever just need to talk are all welcome to use my email as well anytime at all.
terrianne
Terrieanne,im so sorry for what you have gone through.You are an amazing lady,you went through an unimaginable thing and have managed to continue on with your recovery in spite of it. You should be so very proud of yourself and the way you are condcuting your life. As for the NA/AA part of it,yes,it was an isolated incident,but you have every RIGHT in the world to do things the best way for yourself,regardless what works the best for someone else.You said..."some hold resentments against people who can be clean and not attend meetings, others think if you dont attend meetings your not clean or will surely relapse.i don't know why it has to be like that, i mean we are all working "... i couldnt agree with you more.I believe ,for alot of those who attend AA/NA they have tried to do it on their own,and in some cases, tried it MANY times,only to fail, and have found this is the only way it works for them.And in turn,assume that it is the only way it'll work for ALL.They just believe that from their own experience.But i DO believe people are different and some can do this in their own way,just like you are,and many others here.Yes,we may relapse,but those attending meeting will as well,there are no guarantees.I applaud you for coming here and telling your story,im so sorry you had to go through that.Keep being YOU,and continue to do whats best for YOU no matter what,you need not continuously defend that IMHO~KIM
Terrianne,
I'm glad you shared your story. I cannot imagine how I would be after that but I wouldn't be going to another meeting either I'm sure. I know you have grown alot and you do have alot of strength. It's not easy the things in life we have to endure. Yet we grow and we learn and then we grow somemore. The important thing is that you did find your way into recovery and a support system that works for you. You keep walking that path and don't let anyone distract you from it. You have alot of offer.
I wish you would have had your day in court also. However, maybe it didn't happen that way because it wasn't going to be the right type of closure. Maybe there is closure that will occur more complete for you and you are doing it now. One day I hope it happens fully for you so you are free from it. It will happen and you will know.
As for the board. Don't let people piss on your sunshine! lol. Did you like that? I just made it up. I know it gets you down cuz you feel attacked and sometimes people make little remarks sort of ribbin' ya.. Then you sometimes write back some and it goes back and forth turning from responsiveness and awareness into reaction and emotion on everyone's part. Once we go from awareness, mindfulness into reaction and emotion it's all over. Then it's all reactive responding. Then our tempers flare. We all do it. Hard not to sometimes. Maybe it will get better now because people can see you are sensitive to it. I'm an optimist. I just know this board can function in a healthy way. Just keep reaching out to the ones you can and don't give up. You're okay just as you are, in the way you are as is everyone.
love,
pm
I'm glad you shared your story. I cannot imagine how I would be after that but I wouldn't be going to another meeting either I'm sure. I know you have grown alot and you do have alot of strength. It's not easy the things in life we have to endure. Yet we grow and we learn and then we grow somemore. The important thing is that you did find your way into recovery and a support system that works for you. You keep walking that path and don't let anyone distract you from it. You have alot of offer.
I wish you would have had your day in court also. However, maybe it didn't happen that way because it wasn't going to be the right type of closure. Maybe there is closure that will occur more complete for you and you are doing it now. One day I hope it happens fully for you so you are free from it. It will happen and you will know.
As for the board. Don't let people piss on your sunshine! lol. Did you like that? I just made it up. I know it gets you down cuz you feel attacked and sometimes people make little remarks sort of ribbin' ya.. Then you sometimes write back some and it goes back and forth turning from responsiveness and awareness into reaction and emotion on everyone's part. Once we go from awareness, mindfulness into reaction and emotion it's all over. Then it's all reactive responding. Then our tempers flare. We all do it. Hard not to sometimes. Maybe it will get better now because people can see you are sensitive to it. I'm an optimist. I just know this board can function in a healthy way. Just keep reaching out to the ones you can and don't give up. You're okay just as you are, in the way you are as is everyone.
love,
pm
Terri,
I undersand now why you have chosen your own way to recovery. I'm truly sorry to hear about this incident and hope that somewhere Karma has caught up to this guy. It will....
I undersand now why you have chosen your own way to recovery. I'm truly sorry to hear about this incident and hope that somewhere Karma has caught up to this guy. It will....
Terrianne,
As you already know I am so sorry for what happened to you. That was a horrible act of violence you have had to overcome. I am sure it still haunts you but knowing you it sure didn't take away your confidence and dignity..You are a strong woman and I admire you for speaking out and sharing your story with others..It's sad that because of petty bickering you felt you needed to share you story with all of us. However, I am happy you did because you have nothing to be ashamed of and if your story helps one woman be more aware of their surroundings then it was all worth it.. Also I don't care what method of recovery you have chose for yourself you just keep doing what works for you cause recovery looks so good on you...:-0) *wink* Love ya Rae
As you already know I am so sorry for what happened to you. That was a horrible act of violence you have had to overcome. I am sure it still haunts you but knowing you it sure didn't take away your confidence and dignity..You are a strong woman and I admire you for speaking out and sharing your story with others..It's sad that because of petty bickering you felt you needed to share you story with all of us. However, I am happy you did because you have nothing to be ashamed of and if your story helps one woman be more aware of their surroundings then it was all worth it.. Also I don't care what method of recovery you have chose for yourself you just keep doing what works for you cause recovery looks so good on you...:-0) *wink* Love ya Rae
You have nothing to be ashamed of Boo......Neither do you Sharon....
Thank you both for sharing your stories, took a lot of guts to put it out here. I wish to god that no woman, no child ever had to go through this is thier lives.
And like Bikeman said karma has this great way of setting things right, and it does all the time......
Take good care of yourselves....
Love,
Tina
Thank you both for sharing your stories, took a lot of guts to put it out here. I wish to god that no woman, no child ever had to go through this is thier lives.
And like Bikeman said karma has this great way of setting things right, and it does all the time......
Take good care of yourselves....
Love,
Tina
Dear Terri I agree that it took alot to put that out here.You had already let me know along time ago about this.The one thing I feel(of course I could be wrong)is that you still have not dealt with that or the baggage that came with it.This is just my take on it,but I really think you havent trulrey dealt with it all.Your post as of late do seem so angry & just......I dont know full of bitternest?I can understand your reasons for feeling the way you do about NA but it has been said that happen to you at one that doesnt mean at all of the meetings you have someone like that.
Terri Ive always tried to be up front with you so thats what Im trying to do.I really feel there is more stuff that you still need to face.Painful???sure but I feel if you want to do better in your recovery you need to beat the demons of your past.The way I read your post it doesnt seem like you have.It does seem to me like a part of you is STILL letting what happen effect you now.Anyways you know Im not trying to be mean or start anything but I did want to say this all to you...mj
Terri Ive always tried to be up front with you so thats what Im trying to do.I really feel there is more stuff that you still need to face.Painful???sure but I feel if you want to do better in your recovery you need to beat the demons of your past.The way I read your post it doesnt seem like you have.It does seem to me like a part of you is STILL letting what happen effect you now.Anyways you know Im not trying to be mean or start anything but I did want to say this all to you...mj
molly,
i have done one on one counceling and have done very well, the bitterness and anger came from the constant poundings and verbal accusations, it gets tiring, not to mention i am dealing with my nieces cancer issues at the moment. dont worry bout me girlfriend i have dealt with the sexual abuse head on and even have talked with others and helped talk them through thier hardships over it. i am just tired of the pettyness about program differences is all. its so dumb. i wanted to settle once and for all where i was coming from. yes as a survivor of sexual abuse we do get tiggered with flashbacks but i have learned to deal with them the same as i do with drug cravings but thanks for your concern.
terrianne
i have done one on one counceling and have done very well, the bitterness and anger came from the constant poundings and verbal accusations, it gets tiring, not to mention i am dealing with my nieces cancer issues at the moment. dont worry bout me girlfriend i have dealt with the sexual abuse head on and even have talked with others and helped talk them through thier hardships over it. i am just tired of the pettyness about program differences is all. its so dumb. i wanted to settle once and for all where i was coming from. yes as a survivor of sexual abuse we do get tiggered with flashbacks but i have learned to deal with them the same as i do with drug cravings but thanks for your concern.
terrianne
Terri sorry I really am if it seems like Im over stepping the bounds of friendship & belive me this is just my thoughts.I see the anger in your post & yes I can understand it I really can,but I also see you maybe baiting?is the word.I thought it was all settled that to each his own & live & let live?I dont know.I know how mixed up & sad you must feel because of your niece but a part of me cant help but think there is more to it.I think YOU think you have dealt with it & moved on but I must admit at times your post just dont seem like you have.Anyways Boo Im trying hard NOT to over step my bounds here but I did want to let you know how Im feeling.Right or wrong thanks for letting me express it.In any case I hope you know Im here to talk if ever you feel the need to talk with me.I hope things in your life improve.You have alot on your plate right now & I guess Im worried that it may be too much for even you to handle.Please take care...mj
molly,
i understand and you are right but when i am pushed i will push back as well. its not always easy to sit back when its a sensative topic and no one else sees what is said off the board either, or maybe they do. that happens alot too for entertainment. but your right for pointing this out to me and being a good friend that way and i will just suck it up from here on out, cause it really isnt the kinda person i want to appear to be, thank you for opening my eyes.
terrianne
i understand and you are right but when i am pushed i will push back as well. its not always easy to sit back when its a sensative topic and no one else sees what is said off the board either, or maybe they do. that happens alot too for entertainment. but your right for pointing this out to me and being a good friend that way and i will just suck it up from here on out, cause it really isnt the kinda person i want to appear to be, thank you for opening my eyes.
terrianne
Terri the way you just posted made me happy.As you know I try to stay out of the BS but as a friend I wanted to say those things for a bit now.I didnt want to seem like I was ganging up on you.I do worry about you & wish you all the best I hope you know that & we're cool..Love...mj
molly,
we always been cool, and i always said i appreciate honesty and constructive critism, thats what real friends are for. thats all about growth for me. : )
terrianne
we always been cool, and i always said i appreciate honesty and constructive critism, thats what real friends are for. thats all about growth for me. : )
terrianne
That's terrible Terrianne. I'm really sorry to hear that. Don't let it occupy to much space in your head as it will only have negative repurcussions. Sorry.
flipperbaby,
the way i handled it what didnt kill me made me stronger. everything happens for a reason. i think for me with addiction and and assault i had to go through it to go on to help others.
misty,
thank you for the kind thoughts, i dont and never felt ashamed, i know it wasnt a personal thing but just a sick monster. i learned to forgive and once i did that i was able to feel freed from alot of anger and resentment.
terrianne
the way i handled it what didnt kill me made me stronger. everything happens for a reason. i think for me with addiction and and assault i had to go through it to go on to help others.
misty,
thank you for the kind thoughts, i dont and never felt ashamed, i know it wasnt a personal thing but just a sick monster. i learned to forgive and once i did that i was able to feel freed from alot of anger and resentment.
terrianne
pregnantmom,
you always have the most comforting/wisest things to say, i think you are right now that i have shared this i dont feel like i will need to be so defensive. i actually am glad i did.
bikeman,
thanks for the thoughts, they are always much appreciated.
kim,
thanks for your understanding and thoughts as well, it helps to be understood.
terrianne
you always have the most comforting/wisest things to say, i think you are right now that i have shared this i dont feel like i will need to be so defensive. i actually am glad i did.
bikeman,
thanks for the thoughts, they are always much appreciated.
kim,
thanks for your understanding and thoughts as well, it helps to be understood.
terrianne
Hi Ter,
I had heard bits and pieces of this story before, but not the whole thing. It amazes me how strong you are to have come out of it with the beautiful spirit that is you. Your a tough cookie kid.
Best Regards,
Tom
I had heard bits and pieces of this story before, but not the whole thing. It amazes me how strong you are to have come out of it with the beautiful spirit that is you. Your a tough cookie kid.
Best Regards,
Tom
Hey Boo I just wanted to drop in and say Hi and I think your an amazing person. Take care ok? Tracey
Terri..I am so proud of you for not only telling your story here, but for holding your head up high..as it should be. You have every right to work your recovery the way you feel is best for YOU. No explanations needed but I do understand that there are verious opinions here and sometimes people..most well-meaning, try to push N/A as they feel it is helpful. I, like you, do not attend N/A and I am working my recovery my own way. I say if it works..dont fix it!
You did nothing wrong and that jerk at N/A..well, God is dealing with him now, right? I am sorry if you have residual pain from the past. I too suffer from my past which is what lead me down the path of drinking when young and then pilling for many years. Anything to escape. The hardest thing in the world is to stay sober and face it all. I think you are very strong and I am thankful for your sharing here.We are all in this together..we should be shoulders to lean on for each other and I read how you are helpful and kind to everyone here and I appreciate your presence.Take care...Laurie
You did nothing wrong and that jerk at N/A..well, God is dealing with him now, right? I am sorry if you have residual pain from the past. I too suffer from my past which is what lead me down the path of drinking when young and then pilling for many years. Anything to escape. The hardest thing in the world is to stay sober and face it all. I think you are very strong and I am thankful for your sharing here.We are all in this together..we should be shoulders to lean on for each other and I read how you are helpful and kind to everyone here and I appreciate your presence.Take care...Laurie
Hey Boo Boo!
Thats one horrible story. Hopefully, like someone said ,his F**ked up karma will come back to him. It seems like you have every right to be skeptical of meetings and the people who attend them.
You just let your guard down,remember that these are sick people trying to use each other in a positive way to get well .You ran into a VERY sick b******,who obviously used you and the program big time.Not your fault!!Not NA,s fault,but .
that no-one stood up for you is a f**kin crime!!
I am awed by your efforts to perservere.You showed real guts to honestly tell of a situation that usually gets swept away by guilt,anger,&humiliation.
Continue to stand tall on your road thru recovery
lots of love and lots of respect!
jack
Thats one horrible story. Hopefully, like someone said ,his F**ked up karma will come back to him. It seems like you have every right to be skeptical of meetings and the people who attend them.
You just let your guard down,remember that these are sick people trying to use each other in a positive way to get well .You ran into a VERY sick b******,who obviously used you and the program big time.Not your fault!!Not NA,s fault,but .
that no-one stood up for you is a f**kin crime!!
I am awed by your efforts to perservere.You showed real guts to honestly tell of a situation that usually gets swept away by guilt,anger,&humiliation.
Continue to stand tall on your road thru recovery
lots of love and lots of respect!
jack
