Hi everyone.
i had wanted to keep using my original thread to post my journey but that got locked up. Moderators did such a great job last night but I guess had to go home...not that i blame them..lolol
Im sorry if some of you think that I have been posting a lot on the board. I have. It has been a tool like no other that has gotten me to where I am now.
Encouraging others, sharing my thoughts and journey and watching others journeys on this board has been "just what the doctor ordered" but this time a healthy RX LOLOLOL I have been on here all the time in the last 2 weeks and have such gratitude to have found it and met so many great people.
The only bad side is that my housework is suffering as is my wifely duties...lol yesterday i made a dash up to the store, bought an instant dinner, threw them into pots and pans ( mushroom rissotto, polenta,arugala boccinicini salad ) threw some flour around and made it look like I made it....LOLOl
My hubby calls and says hes on the way home and i do the fastest house cleaning on record......greet him at the door like im busy busy busy, making our house a wonderful home....little does he know im sitting on my butt posting all day, well i think he kinda knows....he asked if i was meeting some nice people on line, then said be careful you dont tell a stranger your name or address..there are perverts OUT THERE....lolol I love him so much.
I would also like to go on record and say that although I do not prescribe to the 12 step method myself, and have shared my thoughts on why for ME it wouldnt work, I am 100% behind anyone that finds success with it, and encourage anyone who loves and lives the 12 steps to post here and or the PA site. they have a wonderful bunch of people there as well as here; whom are passionate about their recovery methods.Me? I love this site and its open mindedness and hope to stay.
I did not use last night, and in fact am so proud because I had every button and trigger pushed, but still did not use to calm my emotions. Thats a FIRST EVERONE a first for 10 yrs.....I dont know why I am able to stick to the taper this time, I have failed miserly over the years past. The only thing different is my attitude, vitamins, and I think finding this board and discovering Im not alone has given me strength and hope i thought was lost for good.
Thankyou to all that have helped me. Furious, I did exactly that and took a half dose before bed, and actually was able to sleep without muscle pains and spasm. Gidget?...Today i woke up to watering eyes and sneezed like 20 times!!!! that must be a side effect of the taper? dont know, maybe its better i dont and just think its a cold coming on...LOLOL
Peace and love to all. Dont give up on me, Im going to beat this and share my victory with others. If I can do it...anyone can...I had given up all hope before now......
Big tight Hug,
Ali.
Hey Ali, watery eyes and sneezing are part of withdrawing. Glad to see you are having these reactions. Hang in here girl, you'll get there. I'm pulling real hard for you.
Ali
When do you do your next drop in dose? I am always amazed when people have a successful taper. I could never do it.
When do you do your next drop in dose? I am always amazed when people have a successful taper. I could never do it.
Dear Gidget,
Thanks for rooting for me, thought it was the w/d/ never sneezed like that before..embarrasing...LOLOL Im grateful. Will not let you down.
Kat,
My taper is one less per week but trying to do one less every 5 days instead
im down to 7...
my RX is 4 tabs at one time.( 8 mg X 4 ) as needed for pain
Two weeks ago and past I was at a minimum 24 pills a day..often would be 30....(shudder what was i thinking?)
for the last 2 weeks i cut back to 8 a day...twice a day took 4 pills...
yesterday i started taking only 3 pills...twice a day....but instead of taking the 2nd set of three around 4:00 i took only one at 4:00 them when i was goin to bed took the last 2...it stopped me from having muscle spasms at night, which has been a problem. Furious physc, is on a successful taper and suggested doing that 9 breaking 2nd dose and taking at bed time)
Hope you were able to follow::: im down to 6 a day...started that yesterday....
took 3 today at around noon and will take 1 when i start to feel rough then my last 2 before bed.....
I have been so blessed, cus honest to God I have never been able to do this before......was not mentally or physically capable, and now i am able to do it so far and with tolerable mental withdrawal....cant wait to get to the jumping off point and be able to say: How many??? NONE..I dont take them anymore.LOLOL
Even my original pain site has been cooperating....i dont know why I am so lucky this time around, but this board has been HUGE in my change of attitude. That i know. im not alone. its not a rarity. Im not pathetic. others have done it. Thats helped so much. Im not kidding when i say this board has changed my life and want to leave its moderators or owners in my will, fund it so that it will be here forever for others.....
Thanks for asking, thanks for sharing...i am grateful.
Hugs
Ali
Thanks for rooting for me, thought it was the w/d/ never sneezed like that before..embarrasing...LOLOL Im grateful. Will not let you down.
Kat,
My taper is one less per week but trying to do one less every 5 days instead
im down to 7...
my RX is 4 tabs at one time.( 8 mg X 4 ) as needed for pain
Two weeks ago and past I was at a minimum 24 pills a day..often would be 30....(shudder what was i thinking?)
for the last 2 weeks i cut back to 8 a day...twice a day took 4 pills...
yesterday i started taking only 3 pills...twice a day....but instead of taking the 2nd set of three around 4:00 i took only one at 4:00 them when i was goin to bed took the last 2...it stopped me from having muscle spasms at night, which has been a problem. Furious physc, is on a successful taper and suggested doing that 9 breaking 2nd dose and taking at bed time)
Hope you were able to follow::: im down to 6 a day...started that yesterday....
took 3 today at around noon and will take 1 when i start to feel rough then my last 2 before bed.....
I have been so blessed, cus honest to God I have never been able to do this before......was not mentally or physically capable, and now i am able to do it so far and with tolerable mental withdrawal....cant wait to get to the jumping off point and be able to say: How many??? NONE..I dont take them anymore.LOLOL
Even my original pain site has been cooperating....i dont know why I am so lucky this time around, but this board has been HUGE in my change of attitude. That i know. im not alone. its not a rarity. Im not pathetic. others have done it. Thats helped so much. Im not kidding when i say this board has changed my life and want to leave its moderators or owners in my will, fund it so that it will be here forever for others.....
Thanks for asking, thanks for sharing...i am grateful.
Hugs
Ali
Ali, you post here like everyone else does...anytime. K? Dont feel one bit bad. I dont know who told you that but it wasnt even cool.
wiverson,
as always, you are so encouraging and thoughtful.
Merci beaucoup
Danke Well
Grazia Millia
Bedank.
Thankyou....
Ali
as always, you are so encouraging and thoughtful.
Merci beaucoup
Danke Well
Grazia Millia
Bedank.
Thankyou....
Ali
I'm really happy your taper is working, Ali. Keep up the good work. If it starts to get tough you know we're here for you.
Kat,
Bless you.
I am grateful for your support.
Have a great weekend, spend time and hug those you love.
Hugs,
Ali
Bless you.
I am grateful for your support.
Have a great weekend, spend time and hug those you love.
Hugs,
Ali
hey ali, i know where there is a meeting at right now. wanna go wit me? i'm goin now....
LOLOL hey gidget...
if you lived near me and you needed me too...i would GO with ya!!!!!
Thanks for thinking of me *wink*
Hugs,
Ali
if you lived near me and you needed me too...i would GO with ya!!!!!
Thanks for thinking of me *wink*
Hugs,
Ali
Wow, Ali,
I don't usually post on this section of the board. I'm so happy I popped in here. Your story made me smile. That is so awesome you are doing so well. I give you a ton of credit as I no way could have done what you are doing.
Looking at your original day doses of so many pills and now how you've tapered that's amazing. It really is.
Oh, that is hilarious how you whipped up that gourmet meal. LOL Adding the flour is ingenious. LOL You're a true Betty Crocker. Almost like a 1950's wife. You should have added an apron when you served your meal. That would be a trip. Oh, and a shirt waist dress with pearls to clean in ala' Beaver Cleavers mom. That woman ran around cleaning in high heels.
Whew, You had the watery eyes, and the phenomena of the sneezing fit. You sure are getting better. That's a sign alrightie. The best is when you're having that 10 sneeze in a row thing, and someone keeps saying "Bless You" maybe the first four sneezes, and then they look in amazement. LOL
Thanks for making my day. I'm very happy for you. Ummmm. Can you make me a homemade cheescake? Once I bought store bought rice pudding, and Cool Whip, and mixed it all together, and pretended I made it when people were ohhhing, and ahhhhing. It wasn't a lie because I did make it by mixing two ingredients together. No flies on us domestic engineers.
I don't usually post on this section of the board. I'm so happy I popped in here. Your story made me smile. That is so awesome you are doing so well. I give you a ton of credit as I no way could have done what you are doing.
Looking at your original day doses of so many pills and now how you've tapered that's amazing. It really is.
Oh, that is hilarious how you whipped up that gourmet meal. LOL Adding the flour is ingenious. LOL You're a true Betty Crocker. Almost like a 1950's wife. You should have added an apron when you served your meal. That would be a trip. Oh, and a shirt waist dress with pearls to clean in ala' Beaver Cleavers mom. That woman ran around cleaning in high heels.
Whew, You had the watery eyes, and the phenomena of the sneezing fit. You sure are getting better. That's a sign alrightie. The best is when you're having that 10 sneeze in a row thing, and someone keeps saying "Bless You" maybe the first four sneezes, and then they look in amazement. LOL
Thanks for making my day. I'm very happy for you. Ummmm. Can you make me a homemade cheescake? Once I bought store bought rice pudding, and Cool Whip, and mixed it all together, and pretended I made it when people were ohhhing, and ahhhhing. It wasn't a lie because I did make it by mixing two ingredients together. No flies on us domestic engineers.
Dear Byrn,
Glad mine made YOU laugh, YOURS did me too....
I got into trouble once with buying this wild rice/chicken teriaki Stouffers in the frozen food dept.For the first year of our marriage, id buy it, put it in a pot, take the rice bag out of the cupboard, etc...and my husband would sit there and say:
"SWEETHEART....This is the BEST DINNER YOUVE MADE SO FAR"
He started REQUESTING IT.....had to sneak off, buy it and cut open that plastic bag, stuff it and the carton at the bottom of the garbage...I was always very careful to cover it up..( arent we addicts shrewd??)
Then one day....they stopped making it!!!!! I couldnt believe it...just stopped.
I even wrote to stouffers and begged them to bring it back out...my marriage was on the line...LOLOL
Over the years Ive learned how to cook, but resort to the Pseudo-chef when need be to keep up the image of a good wifey....LOLOL
I'll bet he knows but wouldnt tell me if he did...hes that great...
Thanks for your post!!!
Hugs,
Ali
Glad mine made YOU laugh, YOURS did me too....
I got into trouble once with buying this wild rice/chicken teriaki Stouffers in the frozen food dept.For the first year of our marriage, id buy it, put it in a pot, take the rice bag out of the cupboard, etc...and my husband would sit there and say:
"SWEETHEART....This is the BEST DINNER YOUVE MADE SO FAR"
He started REQUESTING IT.....had to sneak off, buy it and cut open that plastic bag, stuff it and the carton at the bottom of the garbage...I was always very careful to cover it up..( arent we addicts shrewd??)
Then one day....they stopped making it!!!!! I couldnt believe it...just stopped.
I even wrote to stouffers and begged them to bring it back out...my marriage was on the line...LOLOL
Over the years Ive learned how to cook, but resort to the Pseudo-chef when need be to keep up the image of a good wifey....LOLOL
I'll bet he knows but wouldnt tell me if he did...hes that great...
Thanks for your post!!!
Hugs,
Ali
Thanks for your post Alicap. It is inspirational to hear success stories. It is evident that you are enjoying life and finding humor in the little things.
God bless.
God bless.
Ali,
I know that I am pretty new here, but I want you to know I love that you post so often. You don't always post about yourself but spend most of the time responding to other posts, trying to encourage people. Don't ever apologize for that. We need more people like you here. I am happy for you that the tapering is going so well. What you said about your attitude being the difference this time is so true. A positive and strong attitude is the most important thing right now. I had mentioned in another post that I seem to have a short attention span lately, but am planning on posting my whole story soon. I have a hard time with words or I would have already done it. Anyway, keep up the good work. Not only are you helping yourself, you are helping many others.
Michelle32 (Shelly)
I know that I am pretty new here, but I want you to know I love that you post so often. You don't always post about yourself but spend most of the time responding to other posts, trying to encourage people. Don't ever apologize for that. We need more people like you here. I am happy for you that the tapering is going so well. What you said about your attitude being the difference this time is so true. A positive and strong attitude is the most important thing right now. I had mentioned in another post that I seem to have a short attention span lately, but am planning on posting my whole story soon. I have a hard time with words or I would have already done it. Anyway, keep up the good work. Not only are you helping yourself, you are helping many others.
Michelle32 (Shelly)
wolfie,
thanks for your post..humor has always got me through bad times...appreciate your support greatly.
Ali
Michelle,
Your post made me almost cry...im pathetically weepy lately....and Christmas is coming..what a combination..last year all these cute kids came to my door and sang holy night and I started crying!!!! Bit my lip so hard it bled cus i didnt WANT to cry and scare the kids!!! LOLOL Im a wuss..i know...
But truly Michelle, thank you so much for saying that, I really was a bit freaked out that Im posting TOO much, it was pointed out on an earlier thread that i started that i did like 89% of posts that day or something....lol...i thought oh crap..now im addicted to this site TOO!!!!!..and they KNOW IT!!!!! lol
Good to know that I am helping someone and not bothering people or freaking them out about how much time I must have on my hands..lol This board has helped me so much to just know Im not all alone....You made my night, and made me feel better about posting in the future, for that and more Michelle..i send a big hug and Thank YOU!!!!!
Big relieved Hug,
Ali
thanks for your post..humor has always got me through bad times...appreciate your support greatly.
Ali
Michelle,
Your post made me almost cry...im pathetically weepy lately....and Christmas is coming..what a combination..last year all these cute kids came to my door and sang holy night and I started crying!!!! Bit my lip so hard it bled cus i didnt WANT to cry and scare the kids!!! LOLOL Im a wuss..i know...
But truly Michelle, thank you so much for saying that, I really was a bit freaked out that Im posting TOO much, it was pointed out on an earlier thread that i started that i did like 89% of posts that day or something....lol...i thought oh crap..now im addicted to this site TOO!!!!!..and they KNOW IT!!!!! lol
Good to know that I am helping someone and not bothering people or freaking them out about how much time I must have on my hands..lol This board has helped me so much to just know Im not all alone....You made my night, and made me feel better about posting in the future, for that and more Michelle..i send a big hug and Thank YOU!!!!!
Big relieved Hug,
Ali
Michelle,
Im sorry honey, i forgot to say that I am looking forward to reading your whole story......Im here for you.
Love
Ali
Im sorry honey, i forgot to say that I am looking forward to reading your whole story......Im here for you.
Love
Ali
today is day 13? of the taper..have the worst meatallic taste in my mouth.
yuk..im a compulsive flosser so know its not my gums..
is this normal?
Can not believe that in such a relatively short time, I can now FEEL
such a low dose....went from 2 X 4 pills last week to:
2 X 3 pills yesterday and today( took 3 at noon will take 2 around 6 and 1 befre bed which keeps me from getting too much muscle pain at night (thank furious)
to think that several weeks ago I would take 25 sometimes 30 a day...hard to believe right now...
Im thinking I can jump off before Christmas without too mu...no..wont say that and jinx myself.....but think i can get off by Christmas...best gift Ill ever give myself...
Just wanted to mark my journey...hope this newly found attitude stays with me..im trying and almost not...so weird...a new me.
Hugs to all
Ali
yuk..im a compulsive flosser so know its not my gums..
is this normal?
Can not believe that in such a relatively short time, I can now FEEL
such a low dose....went from 2 X 4 pills last week to:
2 X 3 pills yesterday and today( took 3 at noon will take 2 around 6 and 1 befre bed which keeps me from getting too much muscle pain at night (thank furious)
to think that several weeks ago I would take 25 sometimes 30 a day...hard to believe right now...
Im thinking I can jump off before Christmas without too mu...no..wont say that and jinx myself.....but think i can get off by Christmas...best gift Ill ever give myself...
Just wanted to mark my journey...hope this newly found attitude stays with me..im trying and almost not...so weird...a new me.
Hugs to all
Ali
Note to self:
your at 6 pills a day...you have to stay strong....its a whole lot better than 25-30
just a few short weeks ago.... youve come along way. remember that you now have hope, where there was none before, you already feel better and more in control of your life...
You paused and gave thought, when you laughed out loud. You hadnt done that in years. You caught a glance of yourself in the mirror today, and liked what you saw....you havent felt like that in a while either....
...6 down to 5.....down to 4...then 3...2....1....then break into bits..into quarters, into little pieces, and soon, very soon...they will be gone. Done. Out of your life. Do not look back in the rear view mirror, drive ahead, ahead to a life well lived.
Tammy would have done it had she known. Known how fragile our hearts are. Known that each pill, each does is killing us, killing our body and soul. She would have stopped if....... she'd known she could.....
This is a note to self to not give up...15 days you have been strong...it can be done...you deserve it.... you will amount to more than a hill of beans........
Hugs to self,
Ali
your at 6 pills a day...you have to stay strong....its a whole lot better than 25-30
just a few short weeks ago.... youve come along way. remember that you now have hope, where there was none before, you already feel better and more in control of your life...
You paused and gave thought, when you laughed out loud. You hadnt done that in years. You caught a glance of yourself in the mirror today, and liked what you saw....you havent felt like that in a while either....
...6 down to 5.....down to 4...then 3...2....1....then break into bits..into quarters, into little pieces, and soon, very soon...they will be gone. Done. Out of your life. Do not look back in the rear view mirror, drive ahead, ahead to a life well lived.
Tammy would have done it had she known. Known how fragile our hearts are. Known that each pill, each does is killing us, killing our body and soul. She would have stopped if....... she'd known she could.....
This is a note to self to not give up...15 days you have been strong...it can be done...you deserve it.... you will amount to more than a hill of beans........
Hugs to self,
Ali
Note to Ali: Keep on truckin, you will get there. Don't give up. You are worth it.
take care
gi
take care
gi
Gina,
thanks luv
One day i hope to download and keep this thread as a reminder and warning of where ive been and never want to return...lol
Hugs,
Ali
thanks luv
One day i hope to download and keep this thread as a reminder and warning of where ive been and never want to return...lol
Hugs,
Ali
