if i know that my being late is not going to embarass me, i will be late, if it has significance such as a wedding or funeral i'll be on time. this is a new problem that has occured with in the last few years, i am NEVER 5 min early for work. either on time or 10 min late max. i would have to say that my tardiness is no more than 15 min. why i think it is a new problem that i find myself so easily distractable. for instance i will get up 2 hours early before i need to go to work to ensure that all my"chores" get done, it involves letting out 3 dogs to do their business, then i have to give my dog her medicine, than i have to feed and clean the rabbits litter box and cage, then i feed kitty and scoop his litter box, next i have to force myself to eat breakfast and it takes a good 5 min just to think of what might be appetizing ( i have had a problem with appetite lately) next i have to take all my medications, around 10 pills, i like to do a quick morning mediatation which includes a prayer and story for the present date. then there is the shower, make up, hair, getting dressed. finally getting the animals settled before i leave fresh water, food in their bowls etc. get the purse, put on the coat, grab some food for lunch at work, fill water bottle, find the car keys! whew!! but then there is my distractions the computer! i want to check my email and go to the board and that is one area were i can get easily distracted, time just slips away...
i dont know does every one else have this much work to do before leaving the house?? julie
Holy smokes Julie, if I did all that before work Id be too tired to go to work.
I get up, shower, lets the dogs out, eat and go.
I get up, shower, lets the dogs out, eat and go.
Atlas, This is a sore subject in my household. My husband tells me I am gonna be late for my own funeral. He is in the military so being on time or early is of upmost importance to him. We have had many fights about this in our house but after 19 years he is beginning to accept the fact I am always gonna be late. Problem now is my 15 year old daughter is starting to be the same way. It drives the men nuts in this house. They use to sit in the car and wait for us now they have learned to just sit in the living room and watch a game or something while we finish getting ready. My husband would love to see this topic. Shantel
I get totally annoyed at people that are habitually late.. ( sorry Atlas )
Personally I feel it signafies a total lack of respect to those whom you keep waiting...
Funny thing, but when my life was starting to really spin out of control..one of the symptoms was not tardiness so much, but a total inability to make that committment, and when i did, i phone and cancel the appointment...it was all just too much effort...
Hubby is much more laid back about time and tardiness...but im still pretty obsessed with it...
Even though im in my 40s, i become totally anxious when i know im running late especially on my way to my parents..ridiculaous i know..i used to be grounded for being even 5 mins. past my curfew and i think those memories are hard to shake...
Last visit to my parents was several weeks ago and i refused to give an EXACT time id be there just within a certain hour...ive learned that is the only way to avoid some of my anxiety surrounding being late...
Appointments at Drs, Dentists etc..of course..when I DO make the appointment, im always, on time...but pretty forgiving when they arent..
Would have loved to see a poll on this..maybe later >?
Hugs
Ali
Personally I feel it signafies a total lack of respect to those whom you keep waiting...
Funny thing, but when my life was starting to really spin out of control..one of the symptoms was not tardiness so much, but a total inability to make that committment, and when i did, i phone and cancel the appointment...it was all just too much effort...
Hubby is much more laid back about time and tardiness...but im still pretty obsessed with it...
Even though im in my 40s, i become totally anxious when i know im running late especially on my way to my parents..ridiculaous i know..i used to be grounded for being even 5 mins. past my curfew and i think those memories are hard to shake...
Last visit to my parents was several weeks ago and i refused to give an EXACT time id be there just within a certain hour...ive learned that is the only way to avoid some of my anxiety surrounding being late...
Appointments at Drs, Dentists etc..of course..when I DO make the appointment, im always, on time...but pretty forgiving when they arent..
Would have loved to see a poll on this..maybe later >?
Hugs
Ali
Jewlsander,
While I appreciate the busy morning you have, thats really not the reason you are 10-15 minutes late every day. If it was the solution would be easy - get up 10-15 minutes earlier. If you did that, would you then be on time? Probably not. Either you find it necessary to squeeze out the most of every minute you have available and therefore having 3 hours would still not be enough, OR you just dont have the organization or desire to be on time. Some of your chores could be done the night before, or again the clock set earlier. Theres an old saying "if you want something done, give it to the busiest person you know". Its so true. Busy people have a plan and good organizational skills. They know where to cut a minute here to add a minute there. Give the 10-15 minutes earlier a try or do something that takes 10-15 minutes the night before. Let us know if it works :)
While I appreciate the busy morning you have, thats really not the reason you are 10-15 minutes late every day. If it was the solution would be easy - get up 10-15 minutes earlier. If you did that, would you then be on time? Probably not. Either you find it necessary to squeeze out the most of every minute you have available and therefore having 3 hours would still not be enough, OR you just dont have the organization or desire to be on time. Some of your chores could be done the night before, or again the clock set earlier. Theres an old saying "if you want something done, give it to the busiest person you know". Its so true. Busy people have a plan and good organizational skills. They know where to cut a minute here to add a minute there. Give the 10-15 minutes earlier a try or do something that takes 10-15 minutes the night before. Let us know if it works :)
atlas, you never told us why??????
Nice "perfection" shot, there CO. You ladies are funny. Next time I want to see some cheeks..."babycakes."
Nice "perfection" shot, there CO. You ladies are funny. Next time I want to see some cheeks..."babycakes."
Are you a punctual person?
Always early.
If not, what is it that makes you late?
DNA
Is your significant other punctual?
Yes.
If you are punctual, and your significant other is not, how does that make you feel?DNA
Obviously, it is of the utmost importance to be on time for certain things such as work, airplanes, movies, doctor appts., or anything that will inconvenience others if you are late. For those who say they are not punctual people....Are you on time for these types of events?
DNA
Do you have different feelings about punctuality in relation to events where it is not necessary to be on time? Parties, visiting w/ family, scheduled time to go shopping, etc.?
No, I am always early. I feel that it greatly discommodes people who have gone to a lot of trouble to ensure their parties will be happy events and well attended. Being early is the problem for me since I always arrive before it's time to be there (and that is an inconvenience to others, too.)
I noted that someone wrote that they are chronically late for work. I think this is certainly something I would want to eliminate since it means someone else has to be there to deal with whatever issues are at the start of the work day. I always loved to be early at the office to have some quiet time to get my day planned. It also gave me a way of "dealing" when I took an occasional lunch hour and had to have it extended a bit because of the time involved at the restaurant. Everyone knew I was in early and I would bring that fact to the forefront when I told my boss I was going to lunch....in fact, I kept track of how many extra minutes I spent on the job....a good dealing point.
Always early.
If not, what is it that makes you late?
DNA
Is your significant other punctual?
Yes.
If you are punctual, and your significant other is not, how does that make you feel?DNA
Obviously, it is of the utmost importance to be on time for certain things such as work, airplanes, movies, doctor appts., or anything that will inconvenience others if you are late. For those who say they are not punctual people....Are you on time for these types of events?
DNA
Do you have different feelings about punctuality in relation to events where it is not necessary to be on time? Parties, visiting w/ family, scheduled time to go shopping, etc.?
No, I am always early. I feel that it greatly discommodes people who have gone to a lot of trouble to ensure their parties will be happy events and well attended. Being early is the problem for me since I always arrive before it's time to be there (and that is an inconvenience to others, too.)
I noted that someone wrote that they are chronically late for work. I think this is certainly something I would want to eliminate since it means someone else has to be there to deal with whatever issues are at the start of the work day. I always loved to be early at the office to have some quiet time to get my day planned. It also gave me a way of "dealing" when I took an occasional lunch hour and had to have it extended a bit because of the time involved at the restaurant. Everyone knew I was in early and I would bring that fact to the forefront when I told my boss I was going to lunch....in fact, I kept track of how many extra minutes I spent on the job....a good dealing point.
Holy crap, I really am a minority!!! I am late for everything, no matter how important it is. The only exception is airports. I have only missed one plane in my life and I had actually left early that day. There was a 45 minute detour on the interstate...as in get off at exit 40, drive 45 minutes and get back on at exit 42...it sucked. Funny thing is, I made it on time. An elderly lady cut in front of me at the self check in and I let her. When I stuck my card in to check in it was at 7:46, and 7:45 was the cut off time....no exceptions. I was at the gate before the flight boarded, but no amount of begging and pleading would get them to let me on. I chalk that up to karma, for the zillion other times that it was my fault I was late.
I stress when I am late, which is all the time. I've been known to cry. My husband freaks out beyond belief, but I do understand. It is rude and annoying, and I too get annoyed when others are late (on the rare occasion I am there on time...LOL.) I get it. This has not been a life long problem, more like the past 1 1/2 years. I have finally figured out why.
I know exactly how long it takes to shower, make up, dry hair, switch handbags, jewelry, nails. When I start getting ready early, I feel I have time to spare and I end up screwing around with silly stuff. When this happens, I grossly underestimate the time spent goofing around with whatever. What feels like 10 minutes turns out to be 30, etc. But that's just a small part of it.
I finally realized how bad my self esteem is and it manifests while attempting to get dressed. I have this 15 pounds that seems to be in a constant state of
yo-yo-ing. I choose clothing in my mind, then I go to put it on and it doesn't fit. Then I search through the whole closet trying to find something acceptable, and I feel like it all looks terrible. I might try 10 outfits before I find anything. I know it's insane, but I can't stop doing it. I know what is happening as it happens, but it just makes me nervous, which makes me more doubtful and causes me to take even longer. I stand there telling myself not to do this again, but I do.
I hate it and I cannot figure out how to stop it. I really do have about 3 sizes of clothing in my closet and so much does not fit. To move it out is pointless because in 2 weeks it will fit again. When I've tried moving it out, it worsens the problem because now I am running through 3 closets trying to find something. If I pick something the day before, I always look at it and think "WTF was I thinking yesterday? I would never wear THAT today."
I am making a commitment to myself to try and stop this craziness. I'm not really sure HOW I am going to do that. The only thing I can think of is to spend a few days trying on all my clothes and photographing outfits that fit me now, and write how much I weigh on the pictures, and also if any part of each outfit is borderline too big or too small. Then, when my weight changes yet again, I can do it over again with the other clothes. That alone seems too crazy, but I'm not sure what else to do. I do know that I will not leave the house in clothes that are too tight. It's just gross and I will not do it. ???
It's really hard admitting to myself, and anyone reading this, that my self esteem is so low that it takes me 1-2 hours to get dressed. So that's why I am always late. I stand in my closet(s) and obsess and cry over clothes.
I stress when I am late, which is all the time. I've been known to cry. My husband freaks out beyond belief, but I do understand. It is rude and annoying, and I too get annoyed when others are late (on the rare occasion I am there on time...LOL.) I get it. This has not been a life long problem, more like the past 1 1/2 years. I have finally figured out why.
I know exactly how long it takes to shower, make up, dry hair, switch handbags, jewelry, nails. When I start getting ready early, I feel I have time to spare and I end up screwing around with silly stuff. When this happens, I grossly underestimate the time spent goofing around with whatever. What feels like 10 minutes turns out to be 30, etc. But that's just a small part of it.
I finally realized how bad my self esteem is and it manifests while attempting to get dressed. I have this 15 pounds that seems to be in a constant state of
yo-yo-ing. I choose clothing in my mind, then I go to put it on and it doesn't fit. Then I search through the whole closet trying to find something acceptable, and I feel like it all looks terrible. I might try 10 outfits before I find anything. I know it's insane, but I can't stop doing it. I know what is happening as it happens, but it just makes me nervous, which makes me more doubtful and causes me to take even longer. I stand there telling myself not to do this again, but I do.
I hate it and I cannot figure out how to stop it. I really do have about 3 sizes of clothing in my closet and so much does not fit. To move it out is pointless because in 2 weeks it will fit again. When I've tried moving it out, it worsens the problem because now I am running through 3 closets trying to find something. If I pick something the day before, I always look at it and think "WTF was I thinking yesterday? I would never wear THAT today."
I am making a commitment to myself to try and stop this craziness. I'm not really sure HOW I am going to do that. The only thing I can think of is to spend a few days trying on all my clothes and photographing outfits that fit me now, and write how much I weigh on the pictures, and also if any part of each outfit is borderline too big or too small. Then, when my weight changes yet again, I can do it over again with the other clothes. That alone seems too crazy, but I'm not sure what else to do. I do know that I will not leave the house in clothes that are too tight. It's just gross and I will not do it. ???
It's really hard admitting to myself, and anyone reading this, that my self esteem is so low that it takes me 1-2 hours to get dressed. So that's why I am always late. I stand in my closet(s) and obsess and cry over clothes.
hi donnatwo
thanks for your input and you are correct in saying that i could be on time if i really put effort into it.
i know it is my choice to have all the animals i have and i am not complaining that i have this daily responsiblity to them, because eliminating my animals....
wouldnt even consider it for a second, they are my second set of children and what keeps me living every day for the comfort and security they provide for me. so lets see.... how could i improve in that area??? i could feed them the night before, but they still need their morning feeding and fresh water on days where i will be gone for a few hours.
make up and hair... still need to be done in the morning, cant do the night before.
BUT i have improved by packing a lunch the night before., this is a new routine for me because when i was using i neglected my health and never ate properly like a diabetic should so i am trying to improve on the breakfast lunch thing, because i really want to skip eating but i know that is not healthy for me to do.
lets see where else could i improve? you know what donna, now that i am giving this some real thought as to why i am late i think alot of it has to do with feeling so overwhelmed and my bad habit of being a procrastinator... isnt procrastination a symptom that addicts experience???
i know that i learned in rehab that i need to work on being peaceful and serene discension is bad for an addict and a sure set up for relapse and i KNOW i have too many irons in the fire, maybe i am not realizing that this is occurring and i fear i am setting myself up for a relapse...
i keep telling my sons, i'm sick, i feel exhausted 24/7, i feel overwhelmed, frustrated and their reply back to me is mom, that is everyday life.... but then i reply back yes i understand that but do you realize what i try to deal with on a daily basis? here is what is in my head and i am so open to suggestions and help....
physical health:
diabetes: doctor appts, trying to eat healthy when i have no appetite, monitoring my blood sugars, episodes of hypo or is it hyper? glycemia where my sugars drop too low. these are occurring lately from a drug my endocrinologist put me on for weight loss, its called byetta, it is injected 2x a day and i have lost 50 pounds yeah!!!! but the drug causes you to feel full all day so theres where the appetite problem and low blood sugars come into play. and i need to lose 30 more pounds to be at target weight.
mental health:
my recovery from drugs, that requires me to be open minded, honest and willing. so i attend NA meetings 2 to 3 days a week, had a sponsor, now looking for a new one, working on step one in the guide book which requires a lot of thinking and question answering, seeing my sub doctor and social worker, struggling with some pre and post holiday cravings and triggers.
anxiety is out of control again as i have panic/anxiety disorder. sub doctor put me on klonopin what a mistake that was as it could of started a benzo addiction but thanks to atlas girl she helped me to realize what i was headed for so i am tapering off that and gave the bottle of pills to my son to keep and hide from me,
trying to focus on ways to improve ME instead of fighting daily with my alcoholic porn addicted husband, which means that i need to start getting financially independant so i am working 3 part time jobs so that i can stop the abuse i allowed myself to be in for 25 years, does it mean divorce or trying to live with an addicted person and me staying clean?? dont know where that is going to lead me, but know i need to start addressing these issues for my recovery.
keeping my boundaries set with mom, dad and brothers to protect my recovery and that meant staying strong by not seeing them at all for the holidays.. but i still struggle with guilt for that and then there is resentments that still haunt me and i am working at that.
going to this forum daily for which my son thinks i am wasting my time and thats why you cant get anything done and your late all the time cuz your addicted to the computer!!! i have to admit i do spend time here but i find that it is so therapeutic and if it hadn't been for this forum i wouldnt be clean for 6 mos cuz you are the people who have helped me get there,(knowledge on suboxone for one which has been the greatest tool so far for me)
spirituality:
praying, attending church, knitting ministry, hand bell choir, lector, altar guild duties, all for which have been my greatest source of recovery, it has helped me with self esteem, social fears, and i couldnt be here on this earth and survive it i didnt have my faith and the Holy Spirit to guide me, love me and hold me.
daily duties:
then of course there is housework, bills, yardwork and pool in the summer, my garden, in the summer, trying to be a good mother and example to my 2 sons which help out in most ways they can as they go to college and work,
entertainment:
this is where my problem falls into, my counselor will ask me: what have you done for Julie this week? and most of the time i cant answer her question, i have soooo many desires that i try and squeeze in to a day and this is where i feel so overwhelmed and frustrated... i am 50 years old now and i got to thinking life expectancy is what 75 or 80??? with my diabetes and the fact that i have not taken good care of heath in the past maybe 70 if i am lucky?
do you know how fast 20 years flew by raising my boys???? so i feel depressed about that i thought i had more time in life and if i dont start doing my desires in life, its not gonna happen.
i want to get back to playing my piano which at one time i was a good pianist, but now am rusty as i havent played in years,my piano sits there and collects dust!
i enjoy nature, bird feeding, gardening arranging flowers,
books and magazines that have stacked up so high that i eventually have to throw them out, the magazines come with me being a licensed hair stylist and i wish i had time to read and educate myself more, there is self help books i've purchased, and the newspaper? what ever happened to those days when i could read the paper everyday? so these little things cause so much anxiety for me that i cant find time to do those things.
my mind is constantly racing, i need to learn how to control anxiety and be peaceful, i know what i am supposed to do like deep breathing exercises and desensitation exercises to face my panic issues, but i feel so overwhelmed and frustrated that i dont suceed. i know i am supposed to give it to the Lord and i have and He has shown me the way and i am making baby steps every day towards recovery, but man its been a rough road and how much time do i have left... already this morning 2 hours have gone by checking emails and posting on the board today. it is 9:30 and i have an 11:15 chiropractor appt and i know i better get going here or else??? i will be LATE! so that is my story and dilema on my punctuality, thanks atlas girl for starting a good thread! thank you friends! jewels/k-9
thanks for your input and you are correct in saying that i could be on time if i really put effort into it.
i know it is my choice to have all the animals i have and i am not complaining that i have this daily responsiblity to them, because eliminating my animals....
wouldnt even consider it for a second, they are my second set of children and what keeps me living every day for the comfort and security they provide for me. so lets see.... how could i improve in that area??? i could feed them the night before, but they still need their morning feeding and fresh water on days where i will be gone for a few hours.
make up and hair... still need to be done in the morning, cant do the night before.
BUT i have improved by packing a lunch the night before., this is a new routine for me because when i was using i neglected my health and never ate properly like a diabetic should so i am trying to improve on the breakfast lunch thing, because i really want to skip eating but i know that is not healthy for me to do.
lets see where else could i improve? you know what donna, now that i am giving this some real thought as to why i am late i think alot of it has to do with feeling so overwhelmed and my bad habit of being a procrastinator... isnt procrastination a symptom that addicts experience???
i know that i learned in rehab that i need to work on being peaceful and serene discension is bad for an addict and a sure set up for relapse and i KNOW i have too many irons in the fire, maybe i am not realizing that this is occurring and i fear i am setting myself up for a relapse...
i keep telling my sons, i'm sick, i feel exhausted 24/7, i feel overwhelmed, frustrated and their reply back to me is mom, that is everyday life.... but then i reply back yes i understand that but do you realize what i try to deal with on a daily basis? here is what is in my head and i am so open to suggestions and help....
physical health:
diabetes: doctor appts, trying to eat healthy when i have no appetite, monitoring my blood sugars, episodes of hypo or is it hyper? glycemia where my sugars drop too low. these are occurring lately from a drug my endocrinologist put me on for weight loss, its called byetta, it is injected 2x a day and i have lost 50 pounds yeah!!!! but the drug causes you to feel full all day so theres where the appetite problem and low blood sugars come into play. and i need to lose 30 more pounds to be at target weight.
mental health:
my recovery from drugs, that requires me to be open minded, honest and willing. so i attend NA meetings 2 to 3 days a week, had a sponsor, now looking for a new one, working on step one in the guide book which requires a lot of thinking and question answering, seeing my sub doctor and social worker, struggling with some pre and post holiday cravings and triggers.
anxiety is out of control again as i have panic/anxiety disorder. sub doctor put me on klonopin what a mistake that was as it could of started a benzo addiction but thanks to atlas girl she helped me to realize what i was headed for so i am tapering off that and gave the bottle of pills to my son to keep and hide from me,
trying to focus on ways to improve ME instead of fighting daily with my alcoholic porn addicted husband, which means that i need to start getting financially independant so i am working 3 part time jobs so that i can stop the abuse i allowed myself to be in for 25 years, does it mean divorce or trying to live with an addicted person and me staying clean?? dont know where that is going to lead me, but know i need to start addressing these issues for my recovery.
keeping my boundaries set with mom, dad and brothers to protect my recovery and that meant staying strong by not seeing them at all for the holidays.. but i still struggle with guilt for that and then there is resentments that still haunt me and i am working at that.
going to this forum daily for which my son thinks i am wasting my time and thats why you cant get anything done and your late all the time cuz your addicted to the computer!!! i have to admit i do spend time here but i find that it is so therapeutic and if it hadn't been for this forum i wouldnt be clean for 6 mos cuz you are the people who have helped me get there,(knowledge on suboxone for one which has been the greatest tool so far for me)
spirituality:
praying, attending church, knitting ministry, hand bell choir, lector, altar guild duties, all for which have been my greatest source of recovery, it has helped me with self esteem, social fears, and i couldnt be here on this earth and survive it i didnt have my faith and the Holy Spirit to guide me, love me and hold me.
daily duties:
then of course there is housework, bills, yardwork and pool in the summer, my garden, in the summer, trying to be a good mother and example to my 2 sons which help out in most ways they can as they go to college and work,
entertainment:
this is where my problem falls into, my counselor will ask me: what have you done for Julie this week? and most of the time i cant answer her question, i have soooo many desires that i try and squeeze in to a day and this is where i feel so overwhelmed and frustrated... i am 50 years old now and i got to thinking life expectancy is what 75 or 80??? with my diabetes and the fact that i have not taken good care of heath in the past maybe 70 if i am lucky?
do you know how fast 20 years flew by raising my boys???? so i feel depressed about that i thought i had more time in life and if i dont start doing my desires in life, its not gonna happen.
i want to get back to playing my piano which at one time i was a good pianist, but now am rusty as i havent played in years,my piano sits there and collects dust!
i enjoy nature, bird feeding, gardening arranging flowers,
books and magazines that have stacked up so high that i eventually have to throw them out, the magazines come with me being a licensed hair stylist and i wish i had time to read and educate myself more, there is self help books i've purchased, and the newspaper? what ever happened to those days when i could read the paper everyday? so these little things cause so much anxiety for me that i cant find time to do those things.
my mind is constantly racing, i need to learn how to control anxiety and be peaceful, i know what i am supposed to do like deep breathing exercises and desensitation exercises to face my panic issues, but i feel so overwhelmed and frustrated that i dont suceed. i know i am supposed to give it to the Lord and i have and He has shown me the way and i am making baby steps every day towards recovery, but man its been a rough road and how much time do i have left... already this morning 2 hours have gone by checking emails and posting on the board today. it is 9:30 and i have an 11:15 chiropractor appt and i know i better get going here or else??? i will be LATE! so that is my story and dilema on my punctuality, thanks atlas girl for starting a good thread! thank you friends! jewels/k-9
atlas girl:
i enjoyed reading your post and i am on your side as i understand anxiety and what you are going thru.. self esteem is something i have and still need to work on. i obsess on things too when getting dressed. what could we do to help ourselves??? any suggestions???? jewels
i enjoyed reading your post and i am on your side as i understand anxiety and what you are going thru.. self esteem is something i have and still need to work on. i obsess on things too when getting dressed. what could we do to help ourselves??? any suggestions???? jewels
Atlas...that anxiety of yours is making me feel sick to my stomach. You're right, you're doing this to yourself and you've got to get a handle on it before you simply self combust.
I've seen your picture, I've read your posts for quite some time now and I think I have a pretty good insight as to what a loving, caring, thoughtful person you are...where's your self esteem honey? Find it, you deserve it.
Lisa
I've seen your picture, I've read your posts for quite some time now and I think I have a pretty good insight as to what a loving, caring, thoughtful person you are...where's your self esteem honey? Find it, you deserve it.
Lisa
Atlas
I'm late a lot myself, and I have the same problem as you do it seems. I pick out my clothes in advance but in the past 2 months have gained an extra ten pounds on top of the other ten pounds I wanted to get rid of. I'm used to being 110lbs, but after I had kaylin I got back down to 120 and was fine with it...now i'm 140 and have 3-4 diff. size clothes too.
Most of my pants don't fit anymore and if i try and actually do squeeze into pants that are tight, when i put my shirt on i look like a fat dork, so i have to find a LONG shirt, or put a tank top/camisole under my shirt so my stomach will not show, and I have to go find pants that will be more comfortable, which turns out to be the ones that I don't like or want to wear.
It sucks, I know. I'm sorry.
On top of that, getting a 2 year old dressed and ready on top of it usually pushes me over the point of being late.
I was usually very good at being early but as of lately i'm always atleast 10 min. late everywhere I go.
Try setting your clock back 10 min. and maybe that'll help??
Love ya
stacey
I'm late a lot myself, and I have the same problem as you do it seems. I pick out my clothes in advance but in the past 2 months have gained an extra ten pounds on top of the other ten pounds I wanted to get rid of. I'm used to being 110lbs, but after I had kaylin I got back down to 120 and was fine with it...now i'm 140 and have 3-4 diff. size clothes too.
Most of my pants don't fit anymore and if i try and actually do squeeze into pants that are tight, when i put my shirt on i look like a fat dork, so i have to find a LONG shirt, or put a tank top/camisole under my shirt so my stomach will not show, and I have to go find pants that will be more comfortable, which turns out to be the ones that I don't like or want to wear.
It sucks, I know. I'm sorry.
On top of that, getting a 2 year old dressed and ready on top of it usually pushes me over the point of being late.
I was usually very good at being early but as of lately i'm always atleast 10 min. late everywhere I go.
Try setting your clock back 10 min. and maybe that'll help??
Love ya
stacey
For me I am always running.....even if I am up early...I always leave every detail until the last possible moment. However...being in charge of my own time...I have developed a time management program to my own delight...and although I am very rarely ever ever early....I am never late! But..it is a task....like I said...it feels like I am always in a dead run...not so much right now because I am not working but...I still have appointments...getting K to school and ballet...we are always arriving right on time....lol....at school..there is a long line up of cars that just drop off kids in the safe zone and then keep going.....in the parking lot...as we are approaching the line...its like..."are you ready honey?....as she is putting on her back pack...when the car stops she is out and off in a dead run....and I am like hurry sweety!!! so I am teaching her well...lol
Atlas sweety...I am hearing your post and kinda reading between the lines here...I could be way off base and only you will know but it sounds like its bordering on OCD "obsessive compulsive disorder" - now you know that I hate labels...but that is kinda what it is looking like to me...which in turn can result from a number of things...one being low self esteem.
I think all of us addicts do suffer from this a little..low self esteem....but it is working on you in a different way...as with all of us. Have you thought about seeing someone because there is help..for sure...when I read that you were gonna photograph your outfits and start labeling with weight and so on....thats what kinds got me thinking.
As women we do mess with our clothes to a certain extent..but not to a point where it is causing extreme anxiety and lateness.....just a thought...what do you feel?
Hugs sweety!
Atlas sweety...I am hearing your post and kinda reading between the lines here...I could be way off base and only you will know but it sounds like its bordering on OCD "obsessive compulsive disorder" - now you know that I hate labels...but that is kinda what it is looking like to me...which in turn can result from a number of things...one being low self esteem.
I think all of us addicts do suffer from this a little..low self esteem....but it is working on you in a different way...as with all of us. Have you thought about seeing someone because there is help..for sure...when I read that you were gonna photograph your outfits and start labeling with weight and so on....thats what kinds got me thinking.
As women we do mess with our clothes to a certain extent..but not to a point where it is causing extreme anxiety and lateness.....just a thought...what do you feel?
Hugs sweety!
ALTAS
I do the same thing with the clothes. Ive gained 14 lbs in the last year. I still fit into my jeans, just the shirts look bad on me. I will try on 3 or 4 outfits and also stand there staring and wondering and getting anxious----- just wanted to know youre not alone!! Plus--- you might not see it, but youre beautiful--- you really are! take care, Fire
I do the same thing with the clothes. Ive gained 14 lbs in the last year. I still fit into my jeans, just the shirts look bad on me. I will try on 3 or 4 outfits and also stand there staring and wondering and getting anxious----- just wanted to know youre not alone!! Plus--- you might not see it, but youre beautiful--- you really are! take care, Fire
Atlas
I'm the same way when it comes to getting ready to go anywhere. I'm chronically late to everything, except anything that involves my children. I guess either I'm to laid back, or just dont care. LOL The world is not going to end if I'm ten minutes late for a party, and I certainly could care less if someone is late for mine. Now if your more than a half an hour late, than yeah I can see where it might be considered rude, but 5 or 10 minutes, no I dont think so. I'll make my grand entrance when I'm good and ready, and not a minute before! LOL I'm really good at being fashionably late.
Michelle
I'm the same way when it comes to getting ready to go anywhere. I'm chronically late to everything, except anything that involves my children. I guess either I'm to laid back, or just dont care. LOL The world is not going to end if I'm ten minutes late for a party, and I certainly could care less if someone is late for mine. Now if your more than a half an hour late, than yeah I can see where it might be considered rude, but 5 or 10 minutes, no I dont think so. I'll make my grand entrance when I'm good and ready, and not a minute before! LOL I'm really good at being fashionably late.
Michelle
Let's meet for lunch, Michelle. Say 2pm? (that really means 2:15)
xoxo
DeNae
Sounds cool! See ya when I get there!
First to Atlas,
I go thru several clothing changes myself. The pants that fell right last week are now too tight to zipper. The top I loved a few weeks ago now looks "old". My husband and kids think Im crazy as they dont see the difference. We notice these things as our bodies have minds and shapes of their own from week to week. BUT, you probably a bit more obsessed than I am. I dont for a second think you should to the picture thing. That will only make you more obsessed. You know the clothes that fit best during "heavy" times and the ones that dont. Planning ahead a day or two is everything. ORGANIZATION is everything. You know I really feel you "organized" your road to sobriety pretty well. You found out what needed to be done and you followed all the steps. So I think that you can organize getting dressed if you wanted to. You do have to start seeing what everyone who sees you sees - a beautiful girl. You really are. If you are 15 lbs up this week (and boy we are in the same boat there) keep those 15+ clothes in the forefront when thinking of what to wear. Ignore the skinny clothes til you are there again. Love the 15+ girl, shes still beautiful.
Jewlsander - IF you got up half an hour earlier, would you still be late? I have the feeling the answer is yes. I must say you try to fit in more things in the morning than most of us do, but again - ORGANIZATION is so key. Im a person who works better with deadlines. The more pressure the better I am. If there is one quality I am grateful for having, its that I am organized. When things start to get sloppy or I fall behind I almost cant function. Some people love to work in chaos - not me. Try timing how long it actually takes for each of your chores, then see if you actually can speed it up just a bit. The next day do the same ritual again and try to keep everything in their time limit. Honestly, a little planning ahead and really sticking to the plan works wonders. None of us can be responsible for those mornings where one of the kids throws up, the other has lost his homework, and your neighbor decides to call and tell you some horrible thing she needs your help with. But those truly are not every day. If you WANT to be on time, you can be. Id love to be at either of your houses and kick your butts into action so you can arrive where you need to be on time AND the bell of the ball! :)
PS - I realize not everyone is concerned with being on time. This advice is not for you. I dont think those that are 5 mins or so late are who we are talking about though. More so those that get there when they get there lol.
I go thru several clothing changes myself. The pants that fell right last week are now too tight to zipper. The top I loved a few weeks ago now looks "old". My husband and kids think Im crazy as they dont see the difference. We notice these things as our bodies have minds and shapes of their own from week to week. BUT, you probably a bit more obsessed than I am. I dont for a second think you should to the picture thing. That will only make you more obsessed. You know the clothes that fit best during "heavy" times and the ones that dont. Planning ahead a day or two is everything. ORGANIZATION is everything. You know I really feel you "organized" your road to sobriety pretty well. You found out what needed to be done and you followed all the steps. So I think that you can organize getting dressed if you wanted to. You do have to start seeing what everyone who sees you sees - a beautiful girl. You really are. If you are 15 lbs up this week (and boy we are in the same boat there) keep those 15+ clothes in the forefront when thinking of what to wear. Ignore the skinny clothes til you are there again. Love the 15+ girl, shes still beautiful.
Jewlsander - IF you got up half an hour earlier, would you still be late? I have the feeling the answer is yes. I must say you try to fit in more things in the morning than most of us do, but again - ORGANIZATION is so key. Im a person who works better with deadlines. The more pressure the better I am. If there is one quality I am grateful for having, its that I am organized. When things start to get sloppy or I fall behind I almost cant function. Some people love to work in chaos - not me. Try timing how long it actually takes for each of your chores, then see if you actually can speed it up just a bit. The next day do the same ritual again and try to keep everything in their time limit. Honestly, a little planning ahead and really sticking to the plan works wonders. None of us can be responsible for those mornings where one of the kids throws up, the other has lost his homework, and your neighbor decides to call and tell you some horrible thing she needs your help with. But those truly are not every day. If you WANT to be on time, you can be. Id love to be at either of your houses and kick your butts into action so you can arrive where you need to be on time AND the bell of the ball! :)
PS - I realize not everyone is concerned with being on time. This advice is not for you. I dont think those that are 5 mins or so late are who we are talking about though. More so those that get there when they get there lol.
Donna,
You advice is good, in theory, and clearly is what most people do to be on time. If I had the first clue what piece of clothing would fit on a certain day, this would be a non-issue. I'm petite and have a very small frame. 5 pounds is a whole size difference, and that fluctuates with the wind.
I don't know how to explain it except my mind goes into another place and I can't seem to stop myself. In general, I don't lack organization, but this is so different.
I really do not think I have OCD, because there is nothing else in my life that I remotely obsess about. I know many women who will not leave the house until their hair has been straightened and they have make up on. I have no problem doing either, so I'm not completely obsessed with my looks, only the clothes.
The photograph thing has been in my mind for weeks, but I never do it. I just can't seem to find a logical way to solve an illogical problem.
I do feel that certain events don't matter to me. I'll get there when I get there, and don't be afraid to start without me. But when I really have people waiting, it is rude and I don't want to do it.
You advice is good, in theory, and clearly is what most people do to be on time. If I had the first clue what piece of clothing would fit on a certain day, this would be a non-issue. I'm petite and have a very small frame. 5 pounds is a whole size difference, and that fluctuates with the wind.
I don't know how to explain it except my mind goes into another place and I can't seem to stop myself. In general, I don't lack organization, but this is so different.
I really do not think I have OCD, because there is nothing else in my life that I remotely obsess about. I know many women who will not leave the house until their hair has been straightened and they have make up on. I have no problem doing either, so I'm not completely obsessed with my looks, only the clothes.
The photograph thing has been in my mind for weeks, but I never do it. I just can't seem to find a logical way to solve an illogical problem.
I do feel that certain events don't matter to me. I'll get there when I get there, and don't be afraid to start without me. But when I really have people waiting, it is rude and I don't want to do it.
Atlas,
Dont you know in your mind though which clothes are going to fit or not. I love when I put on a pair of jeans out of the dryer and they go on easily. I know thats when my other clothes will look better. Usually, my jeans right out of the dryer have to be pulled, stretched, yanked up and then everything sucked in to get the snap. They only fit "easily" the 2nd or 3rd wear. I happen to be up 15 lbs now - which is usually the point I cant stand myself and start the diet/exercise thing with a vengeance lol. BUT I also know the clothes that will fit and the others that I wont even try right now. DONT DO THE PICTURE THING PLEASE. You need to place LESS emphasis on the clothes not more. Maybe you could WRITE what is going through your thoughts as you dress and focus more on THAT and how you can make your thoughts happier ones for yourself.
Dont you know in your mind though which clothes are going to fit or not. I love when I put on a pair of jeans out of the dryer and they go on easily. I know thats when my other clothes will look better. Usually, my jeans right out of the dryer have to be pulled, stretched, yanked up and then everything sucked in to get the snap. They only fit "easily" the 2nd or 3rd wear. I happen to be up 15 lbs now - which is usually the point I cant stand myself and start the diet/exercise thing with a vengeance lol. BUT I also know the clothes that will fit and the others that I wont even try right now. DONT DO THE PICTURE THING PLEASE. You need to place LESS emphasis on the clothes not more. Maybe you could WRITE what is going through your thoughts as you dress and focus more on THAT and how you can make your thoughts happier ones for yourself.
