Oh ...yeh Bryn..that boy is back with a bang...or a bush whatever....i must admit the D.man has been sending me theses crazy funny mails over the last while so i get to laugh twice as hard.He really is spot on though.ATB.....Davey
For those who need a good laugh.....I certainly got one from this:
George Bush has a heart
attack and dies.
Obviously, he goes to Hell,
where
the
Devil is waiting for him.
"I'm
not sure what to do," says the Devil.
" You're on my list, but I have
no room for you. But since you definitely
have to stay here, I am going to
have to let someone else go ".
.
"I've got three folks here
who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but
you'll have to take their place.
I'll even let you decide who
leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good,
so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first
room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a
large pool of water.
He kept diving in and climbing
out, over and over. Such was his
fate in Hell.
"No!" George shouted.... "I
don't think so. I am not a good swimmer, And I
don't think I could do that
all day long".
The Devil led him to the next
room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledge
hammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing the hammer,
over and over, time after
time.
"No!
I've got this problem with my shoulder, I would
be in constant agony if
all I could do was breaks rocks all day", commented George.
The Devil opened the third
door.
In it, George saw Bill Clinton Lying on
the floor with his arms staked over
his head, and his legs staked in a
spread-eagle
pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky
doing what she does
best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief
for a while and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and
said :
"Ok,
Monica, you're free to go!"
George Bush has a heart
attack and dies.
Obviously, he goes to Hell,
where
the
Devil is waiting for him.
"I'm
not sure what to do," says the Devil.
" You're on my list, but I have
no room for you. But since you definitely
have to stay here, I am going to
have to let someone else go ".
.
"I've got three folks here
who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but
you'll have to take their place.
I'll even let you decide who
leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good,
so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first
room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a
large pool of water.
He kept diving in and climbing
out, over and over. Such was his
fate in Hell.
"No!" George shouted.... "I
don't think so. I am not a good swimmer, And I
don't think I could do that
all day long".
The Devil led him to the next
room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledge
hammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing the hammer,
over and over, time after
time.
"No!
I've got this problem with my shoulder, I would
be in constant agony if
all I could do was breaks rocks all day", commented George.
The Devil opened the third
door.
In it, George saw Bill Clinton Lying on
the floor with his arms staked over
his head, and his legs staked in a
spread-eagle
pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky
doing what she does
best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief
for a while and finally said,
"Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and
said :
"Ok,
Monica, you're free to go!"
Lol...
I've got a couple of good jokes. They are a bit long so i'll ost them tonight. Everyone should post a joke to spread the positive vibes...... Kev
I've got a couple of good jokes. They are a bit long so i'll ost them tonight. Everyone should post a joke to spread the positive vibes...... Kev
Hey G-
I have to print out & share that last one (if ya dont mind)- I work with some DUBYA people that need to hear that one.
best regards,
jack
I have to print out & share that last one (if ya dont mind)- I work with some DUBYA people that need to hear that one.
best regards,
jack
Jack,
I could not stop laughing at that one. I think EVERYONE would benifit from laughter at that one. Take care!
Kev,
Sometimes....even when we dont feel like it....a little laughter goes a LONG way!
Good day good people,
Darin
I could not stop laughing at that one. I think EVERYONE would benifit from laughter at that one. Take care!
Kev,
Sometimes....even when we dont feel like it....a little laughter goes a LONG way!
Good day good people,
Darin
LOL:
>Dear Grand-daughter,
>The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
>Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy
>that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance,
>followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and
>put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience
>that followed.
>I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
>thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
>light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because
>if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of
>people love Jesus!
>While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
>and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, For the love of God!
>Go! Go! Go!
>Jesus Christ, GO! What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
>Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started
>waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a
>few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida
>back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
>I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
>stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat
>what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or
>something.
>Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window
>and gave him he good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out
>laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple
>of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got
>out of their cars and started walking towards me.
>I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
>when noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and
>sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that
>I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light
>changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all
>the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window
>and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove
>away.
>Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon,
>Love, Grandma
>Dear Grand-daughter,
>The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a
>Honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy
>that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance,
>followed by a thunderous prayer meeting. So, I bought the sticker and
>put it on my bumper. Boy, am I glad I did, what an uplifting experience
>that followed.
>I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in
>thought about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the
>light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because
>if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed. I found that lots of
>people love Jesus!
>While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy,
>and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, For the love of God!
>Go! Go! Go!
>Jesus Christ, GO! What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
>Everyone started honking! I just leaned out my window and started
>waving and smiling at all those loving people. I even honked my horn a
>few times to share in the love! There must have been a man from Florida
>back there because I heard him yelling something about a sunny beach.
>I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger
>stuck up in the air. I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat
>what that meant. He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or
>something.
>Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window
>and gave him he good luck sign right back. My grandson burst out
>laughing. Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!! A couple
>of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got
>out of their cars and started walking towards me.
>I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is
>when noticed the light had changed. So, I waved at all my brothers and
>sisters grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed that
>I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light
>changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all
>the love we had shared. So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window
>and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove
>away.
>Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!! Will write again soon,
>Love, Grandma
You got to love this guy. This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It made the local newspaper; even Jay Leno mentioned it.
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the
groom got up on stage with a
microphone to talk to the
crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming,
many from long distances, to support them at
their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's family & to especially thank his
new father-in-law for providing such a
lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted
to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped
to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the
wedding party, were an envelope. He stressed
that this was his gift to everyone, & asked
them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x 10 glossy of his
bride having sex with his best friend, the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks
earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions
for a couple of minutes, he turned to his best man & said,
"F--- you!" Then he turned to his bride & said, "F--- you!"
Then he turned back to the dumbfounded crowd & said,
"I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first
thing the following morning.
While most people would have canceled the Wedding
immediately after finding out about the affair, this
guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing
were wrong. His revenge--making the bride' s
parents pay over $32,000 for a 300+ guest
wedding & reception, & best of all,
trashing the bride's & his best
man's reputations in front of
300+ friends & family
members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a Master Card
"PRICELESS" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members & friends:
$32,000...
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion:
$3,000...
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui:
$8,500...
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10
glossy of the bride humping his best man:
Priceless...
There are some things money can't buy,
for everything else there's
MASTERCARD!
"Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches,
it's more like a jar of Jalapenos - - -
What you do today, might burn
your a$$ tomorrow
It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the
groom got up on stage with a
microphone to talk to the
crowd.
He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming,
many from long distances, to support them at
their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's family & to especially thank his
new father-in-law for providing such a
lavish reception.
As a token of his deep appreciation he said he wanted
to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped
to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the
wedding party, were an envelope. He stressed
that this was his gift to everyone, & asked
them to open their envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8 x 10 glossy of his
bride having sex with his best friend, the best man.
The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks
earlier & had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions
for a couple of minutes, he turned to his best man & said,
"F--- you!" Then he turned to his bride & said, "F--- you!"
Then he turned back to the dumbfounded crowd & said,
"I'm outta here." He had the marriage annulled first
thing the following morning.
While most people would have canceled the Wedding
immediately after finding out about the affair, this
guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing
were wrong. His revenge--making the bride' s
parents pay over $32,000 for a 300+ guest
wedding & reception, & best of all,
trashing the bride's & his best
man's reputations in front of
300+ friends & family
members.
This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a Master Card
"PRICELESS" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members & friends:
$32,000...
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion:
$3,000...
Deluxe two week honeymoon accommodations in Maui:
$8,500...
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10
glossy of the bride humping his best man:
Priceless...
There are some things money can't buy,
for everything else there's
MASTERCARD!
"Life isn't like a bowl of cherries or peaches,
it's more like a jar of Jalapenos - - -
What you do today, might burn
your a$$ tomorrow
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOZE.....NO WAY.
I hate to laugh my head off at the cost of others pain, but that's brilliant.
Them guests will never forget that wedding....GYAC the very best part is he turned to the best man and said F You and then to the bride F You.
Man, I bet he's a Scorpio....thanks for that GYAC......PRICELESS!
I hate to laugh my head off at the cost of others pain, but that's brilliant.
Them guests will never forget that wedding....GYAC the very best part is he turned to the best man and said F You and then to the bride F You.
Man, I bet he's a Scorpio....thanks for that GYAC......PRICELESS!
D.....mucker the grandma one had me in fits....real quality...but the wedding one was a piece of art ..big up that guy...he really screwed them back...gonna read them again....thanks.............Davey
Man thats too good- - Once again you shoot & score.!
Good day good people!
LOL.....talk about payback being a.....! Bryn, that's how we scorpio's roll(HAHAHA). ATB!
LOL.....talk about payback being a.....! Bryn, that's how we scorpio's roll(HAHAHA). ATB!
-joke deleted-
Sorry, folks. Try to keep it clean, ok?
- the moderators
- the moderators
Mods, sorry. They weren't that bad!
GUILTY! Vick's going down!!
You know you're a redneck if....you're name is Dog and you're on a reality series. Ha! Ha! If he loses his day job, he can always go on Jerry Springer. He and his wife are prime candidates!!
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA, look at that dog in the front.......what's his name? He was like real slow and laid back...........he don't even look angry there.........yeah, he was like always depressed that dog.
Under Doggie..........no WAY they should have made that movie about him with no real live actor dog..............he's a cartoon...........anybody ever hear that straight up dead on serious lady on Howard Stern........Under Dog lady?
She don't like to be called that..........she portrays Under Dog himself and is so NOT Under Dog Woman or Chica......nuttin........she personifies Under Dog.
O.K. with lack of a better word she is NUTS........well she was on my bus coming home from Cape May, New Jersey once..........no joke.........coming from a Christmas parade...........she had a cape on with holly all over it......and I kept nudging my mom and daughter for the whole two hours........because she stays in Under Dog charachter as long as she has on the cape.
Michael Vick is a superb dresser..........I know he's a mean man, but we have to face facts...........dude, knows how to have a suit made.
Oh yeah ME AFWAID OF SCORPIO'S GYAC.........I never cross them....ever!
Under Doggie..........no WAY they should have made that movie about him with no real live actor dog..............he's a cartoon...........anybody ever hear that straight up dead on serious lady on Howard Stern........Under Dog lady?
She don't like to be called that..........she portrays Under Dog himself and is so NOT Under Dog Woman or Chica......nuttin........she personifies Under Dog.
O.K. with lack of a better word she is NUTS........well she was on my bus coming home from Cape May, New Jersey once..........no joke.........coming from a Christmas parade...........she had a cape on with holly all over it......and I kept nudging my mom and daughter for the whole two hours........because she stays in Under Dog charachter as long as she has on the cape.
Michael Vick is a superb dresser..........I know he's a mean man, but we have to face facts...........dude, knows how to have a suit made.
Oh yeah ME AFWAID OF SCORPIO'S GYAC.........I never cross them....ever!
Bryn and T247,
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
who is michael vick?
