Hi, everyone
Saturday when I went to see mom, she wanted to hold my hand a lot. She was trying to tell me something, but none of us could understand what it was.
We went in to celebrate Mother's Day with mom today. She wasn't up to coming home to us. She ate some instant breakfast this morning, but refused to eat or drink anything for lunch. She ate some soup for dinner and some cake and ice cream tonight. She was resting/sleeping a lot today. The swelling in her legs is excessive. They're calling Hospice first thing tomorrow morning about that. When I saw it, I thought they should be called tonight but they said they'd to it first thing in the morning. Kathy made a good point. She probably wouldn't have taken the meds anyway because we had trouble getting her other meds in tonight. She doesn't seem to be comfortable sitting up anymore, and she's in a LOT of pain when she has to be moved from the wheelchair to the bed and vice versa. She seems most comfortable in bed, so we asked that she not be moved in the morning until we get a chance to talk to Hospice, and I'm going in to feed her breakfast. We're going to see if they have a private room available for her so that we can play relaxing music and stay there with her if we want to. Her roommate spends a lot of time in med (I think she's suffering with depression) and she's not as personable as she was before. Mom is hardly talking anymore and when she does it is usually very hard to understand. It's hard to tell if it is because of her dementia or if she is in that period of transitioning. Kathy and I took her over to the private sitting room to say a rosary with her before she was put back into bed. Bless her heart, she remembered to kiss the crucifix of her rosary beads when we started. She seemed more peaceful after we prayed with her and was resting comfortably in bed. Please say some prayers that if it is God's will to call her home to Him that at least she doesn't have to suffer. I truly don't know how much she may be suffering or if her time will be soon but I just wanted her to have the benefit of your prayers. Thanks so much!
Love,
Susan
Hi Susan, I'm so sorry for your mom, will definatley include her in my prayers dear, and will pray for you as well. :)
Susan, sorry to hear your mom is not doing better, she wil be in my prayers. If u feel she is in pain and is refusing her meds, hospice care can give u morphine suppositories and perhaps u can get them into her.........God be with you all in at this time.........
Oh Susan I am so sorry mother's day went like that...your mom, and your family have been in my prayers......I feel so bad she is in pain....I'm sorry.
Thanks so much for your replies and most especially your prayers. You are my angels! My husband hasn't been very supportive through this and I was feeling the need for a hug. You just gave me one. Bless you hearts!
My sister and I are trying to decide if we're supposed to go over where my mom is for the night. She has given us some signs (that my dad did close to the end) but Hospice and the staff don't feel she's on her deathbed quite yet.
Love,
Susan
My sister and I are trying to decide if we're supposed to go over where my mom is for the night. She has given us some signs (that my dad did close to the end) but Hospice and the staff don't feel she's on her deathbed quite yet.
Love,
Susan
Hi, everyone
I don't have a lot of time but I wanted to let you know what's going on. My mom hasn't eaten or drank much of anything today. Because of her dementia, she hasn't been able to talk much..it's been mumbles for some time now...so her not talking isn't something new. The facility moved her into a private room for us today so that we could stay if we feel the need to. They have shortened the life expectancy to weeks...and said that was being optimistic. Even though we've had our fears, it was hard to hear from a professional.
As a testament to the type of person she is the people (staff) who are caring for her came to her room today. The spokesperson said to me, "I have to ask you a question. Are you planning in Pat (my mom) staying here?" I said that we had hoped that she could but why was she asking. She said, "Because we WANT her too. We WANT to take care of her. We love her." That REALLY touched my heart. If they had known my mom before the dementia, they would have been amazed. She has always been the one to offer people a place to stay or a meal to eat. She always had wonderful holiday meals and fun picnics for Memorial Day, the 4th of July, and Labor Day. When she was one of the high functioning dementia residents at the other facility, she was helping everyone who was in the advanced stages. She's a real sweetie. In addition to that, she unselfishly endured my father's alcoholism to keep the family together...even hiding it from us until we were teenagers so we would be able to understand rather than turn against him. Even with her dementia, if I offered her something she wanted to make sure I had some for myself.
Please keep the prayers coming. Thanks so much!
Love,
Susan
I don't have a lot of time but I wanted to let you know what's going on. My mom hasn't eaten or drank much of anything today. Because of her dementia, she hasn't been able to talk much..it's been mumbles for some time now...so her not talking isn't something new. The facility moved her into a private room for us today so that we could stay if we feel the need to. They have shortened the life expectancy to weeks...and said that was being optimistic. Even though we've had our fears, it was hard to hear from a professional.
As a testament to the type of person she is the people (staff) who are caring for her came to her room today. The spokesperson said to me, "I have to ask you a question. Are you planning in Pat (my mom) staying here?" I said that we had hoped that she could but why was she asking. She said, "Because we WANT her too. We WANT to take care of her. We love her." That REALLY touched my heart. If they had known my mom before the dementia, they would have been amazed. She has always been the one to offer people a place to stay or a meal to eat. She always had wonderful holiday meals and fun picnics for Memorial Day, the 4th of July, and Labor Day. When she was one of the high functioning dementia residents at the other facility, she was helping everyone who was in the advanced stages. She's a real sweetie. In addition to that, she unselfishly endured my father's alcoholism to keep the family together...even hiding it from us until we were teenagers so we would be able to understand rather than turn against him. Even with her dementia, if I offered her something she wanted to make sure I had some for myself.
Please keep the prayers coming. Thanks so much!
Love,
Susan
Susan, my heart and my prayers go out to your Mom and your family....May God Bless You All!
Hi susan again I am so sorry, it's good that you have such wonderful memories to keep in your heart. God is with you and I will keep praying for you dear. :)
Susan......I would expect no less of a woman that raised you.....of course they want to take care of her.....she is the reason you are the compassionate, loving person you are.....you, and your entire family have been Blessed with such a loving woman to care for you.
You are all in my prayers.....I just so don't want her to be in pain.
Hang in there, Susan......hope your son is making out well......and the grands.
You are all in my prayers.....I just so don't want her to be in pain.
Hang in there, Susan......hope your son is making out well......and the grands.
Susan,
Your mother and you will be in my prayers. Peace.
Shelly
Your mother and you will be in my prayers. Peace.
Shelly
Hi, everyone
My sister and I are alternating nights staying with mom. Loyalton has been great. They kept a bed in the room for us. She is pretty much bedridden. They lift her in and out of bed twice a day for a half hour just to keep her from getting pneumonia. She doesn't really interact much with anyone or watch tv when we take her out of the room. She does respond when she sees one of us or one of her special caregivers. It is painful for her to be lifted in and out. Tylenol did little to relieve that so we're going to try Percocet for the next time. If that doesn't work, we'll up the Duragesic patch. She isn't awake much. It's so sad to watch her decline but we have to be there for her since she's been there for us all our lives. Please keep her in your prayers that we are able to keep her from suffering much.
Love,
Susan
My sister and I are alternating nights staying with mom. Loyalton has been great. They kept a bed in the room for us. She is pretty much bedridden. They lift her in and out of bed twice a day for a half hour just to keep her from getting pneumonia. She doesn't really interact much with anyone or watch tv when we take her out of the room. She does respond when she sees one of us or one of her special caregivers. It is painful for her to be lifted in and out. Tylenol did little to relieve that so we're going to try Percocet for the next time. If that doesn't work, we'll up the Duragesic patch. She isn't awake much. It's so sad to watch her decline but we have to be there for her since she's been there for us all our lives. Please keep her in your prayers that we are able to keep her from suffering much.
Love,
Susan
Lord Jesus Christ, by your patience in suffering you hallowed earthly pain and gave us the example of obedience to your Father's will: Be near me in my time of weakness and pain; sustain me by your grace, that my strength and courage may not fail; heal me according to your will; and help me always to believe that what happens to me here is of little account if you hold me in eternal life, my Lord and my God. Amen.
Beautiful! Thanks so much, Darin.
Love,
Susan
Love,
Susan
Hi, everyone
Not a good day! We thought we were going to lose her, but tonight she was a little more responsive and ate a little jello. Nothing up to that point. Please keep the prayers coming!
Love,
Susan
Not a good day! We thought we were going to lose her, but tonight she was a little more responsive and ate a little jello. Nothing up to that point. Please keep the prayers coming!
Love,
Susan
Hi, everyone
Mom is having a pretty good day. This is the second patch with the increased medication. She's in and out of rest but when she's awake, she smiles and gives us lots of kisses. My sister was even blessed to get a hug! She has always been a very attractive woman...all the people at her retirement home say she's a very pretty lady...but today she looks more beautiful to me than ever before. She just has a glow about her. She seems like she might be transitioning but it's hard to tell. She keeps trying to tell us something, but with the advanced dementia we can't make it out which really frustrates us. We would LOVE to know what she wants or what she wants to tell us. We keep praying for ears to be able to understand. Thanks for your prayers. This is so difficult!
Love,
Susan
Mom is having a pretty good day. This is the second patch with the increased medication. She's in and out of rest but when she's awake, she smiles and gives us lots of kisses. My sister was even blessed to get a hug! She has always been a very attractive woman...all the people at her retirement home say she's a very pretty lady...but today she looks more beautiful to me than ever before. She just has a glow about her. She seems like she might be transitioning but it's hard to tell. She keeps trying to tell us something, but with the advanced dementia we can't make it out which really frustrates us. We would LOVE to know what she wants or what she wants to tell us. We keep praying for ears to be able to understand. Thanks for your prayers. This is so difficult!
Love,
Susan
Susan, this post is so harrowing to read & I really am very sorry about all this going on.Think I read some thing above about yr. man not wanting to get involved w/ all this? You give us updates on yr. Mom, BUT, kid, HOW are YOU? Sounds like you got folks around to support you & thank goodness for that. I just hope you are holding up ok,in your own self.Bless you, & keep posting.
Alaska, Susan is still her mom's kid, but she is also a mom herself, and a grandmom, and a nurturer to all of us here.
She's right though Susan, how are you? Your sister?
I'm so glad your mom is smiling, and the meds is working......I wonder what it is she is trying to tell you.......by any chance Susan is she looking to either side and seem to be comminicating with someone......just a question.
God Bless your mom, AND AND God Bless the healthcare workers who truly care, and give their all, and patience, and time.
I hope today she is in the same frame....let us know please, Susan.
She's right though Susan, how are you? Your sister?
I'm so glad your mom is smiling, and the meds is working......I wonder what it is she is trying to tell you.......by any chance Susan is she looking to either side and seem to be comminicating with someone......just a question.
God Bless your mom, AND AND God Bless the healthcare workers who truly care, and give their all, and patience, and time.
I hope today she is in the same frame....let us know please, Susan.
Brynn, I meant no disrespect calling Susan "kid"- I meant it in the Humphrey Bogart style useage: "Here's looking @ you, kid"- as a term of affection. She strikes me as an amazingly strong person, & I only mean to wish her well-and to know how SHE is going thru all this.
Hi, everyone
I am writing with a very heavy and at the same time grateful heart. My mom went to be with Jesus today at 4:00. The heaviness is from the loss I feel. The thought of never seeing my mother face to face again, never feeling her arms around me or feeling her play with my hair, never hearing her voice is so painful for me. The grateful heart comes from our answer to prayer that her passing be as painless and peaceful as possible.
My sister, brother, and I stayed with my mother the past 3 nights. It was so hard to determine how to help her because of her dementia. She wasn't even able to let us know if it was digestive pain or other pain which made it very difficult to treat since most pain medications upset the stomach. We didn't even get to sleep last night because we thought, once again, that we were losing her plus we were dealing with the emotional exhaustion of hearing the horrible noises in my mom's throat. I think they call it the death rattle. My sister has blood pressure problems and told me that she didn't know if she could go back into her room. I called her husband and had him come for her.
The director there helped me a lot to see what we were doing wrong. Our entire days were filled with praying, playing Christian music, singing hymns, crying, anxiety over trying to choose treatment for someone whose dementia kept her from giving us input, and exhaustion over trying to hold on and let go at the same time. She made me realize that yes, we did need to be there for my mom but we didn't have to just do what I mentioned above. I moved the music near to my mom, kept a watchful eye on her and occasionally walked over to tell her how much I loved her, but put a funny movie on to watch for a bit. Dealing with death 24/7 was just too much for us! After the movie, my brother and I said a rosary for her. Then he left to take his 2 year old to the circus as planned months ago and my sister came back shortly after at my urging because they were seeing signs of her death being soon. My sister and I were blessed to lead my mom to heaven with our prayers and encouragement.
My one aunt had told us that the Blessed Mother would be coming to lead her. My mom has a BM decorative plate in her room which tilts SLIGHTLY from time to time because the door to the unit is outside her door. Well today we looked over and it was sitting completely sideways on the platform. It is pretty much impossible for that to happen without the plate falling off the platform. We felt the BM was leaving a sign that she was there. Then while we were praying for her, her eyes opened wide...inot pain. Then she continued to look around the room in AWE seeing people we couldn't...loved ones who had passed before.) My sister and I kissed her, told her how much we loved her and that she was the best mom in the world, told her we would be fine and that our separation would be temporary and that her spirit would ALWAYS be with us. She nodded her head yes, moved her mouth a few times, and peacefully and painlessly closed her eyes and passed into her heavenly reward. What a blessing! Now I just have to deal with my extremely heavy heart over losing her.
Thanks so much for your prayers!. They most definitely were answered!
Love,
Susan
I am writing with a very heavy and at the same time grateful heart. My mom went to be with Jesus today at 4:00. The heaviness is from the loss I feel. The thought of never seeing my mother face to face again, never feeling her arms around me or feeling her play with my hair, never hearing her voice is so painful for me. The grateful heart comes from our answer to prayer that her passing be as painless and peaceful as possible.
My sister, brother, and I stayed with my mother the past 3 nights. It was so hard to determine how to help her because of her dementia. She wasn't even able to let us know if it was digestive pain or other pain which made it very difficult to treat since most pain medications upset the stomach. We didn't even get to sleep last night because we thought, once again, that we were losing her plus we were dealing with the emotional exhaustion of hearing the horrible noises in my mom's throat. I think they call it the death rattle. My sister has blood pressure problems and told me that she didn't know if she could go back into her room. I called her husband and had him come for her.
The director there helped me a lot to see what we were doing wrong. Our entire days were filled with praying, playing Christian music, singing hymns, crying, anxiety over trying to choose treatment for someone whose dementia kept her from giving us input, and exhaustion over trying to hold on and let go at the same time. She made me realize that yes, we did need to be there for my mom but we didn't have to just do what I mentioned above. I moved the music near to my mom, kept a watchful eye on her and occasionally walked over to tell her how much I loved her, but put a funny movie on to watch for a bit. Dealing with death 24/7 was just too much for us! After the movie, my brother and I said a rosary for her. Then he left to take his 2 year old to the circus as planned months ago and my sister came back shortly after at my urging because they were seeing signs of her death being soon. My sister and I were blessed to lead my mom to heaven with our prayers and encouragement.
My one aunt had told us that the Blessed Mother would be coming to lead her. My mom has a BM decorative plate in her room which tilts SLIGHTLY from time to time because the door to the unit is outside her door. Well today we looked over and it was sitting completely sideways on the platform. It is pretty much impossible for that to happen without the plate falling off the platform. We felt the BM was leaving a sign that she was there. Then while we were praying for her, her eyes opened wide...inot pain. Then she continued to look around the room in AWE seeing people we couldn't...loved ones who had passed before.) My sister and I kissed her, told her how much we loved her and that she was the best mom in the world, told her we would be fine and that our separation would be temporary and that her spirit would ALWAYS be with us. She nodded her head yes, moved her mouth a few times, and peacefully and painlessly closed her eyes and passed into her heavenly reward. What a blessing! Now I just have to deal with my extremely heavy heart over losing her.
Thanks so much for your prayers!. They most definitely were answered!
Love,
Susan
Make Me Brave for Life
God, make me brave for life: oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens after the rain,
Shining and lovely again.
God, make me brave for life; much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Thy way is wise.
God, make me brave, life brings
Such blinding things.
Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see aright
That out of dark comes light.
Author Unknown
God, make me brave for life: oh, braver than this.
Let me straighten after pain, as a tree straightens after the rain,
Shining and lovely again.
God, make me brave for life; much braver than this.
As the blown grass lifts, let me rise
From sorrow with quiet eyes,
Knowing Thy way is wise.
God, make me brave, life brings
Such blinding things.
Help me to keep my sight;
Help me to see aright
That out of dark comes light.
Author Unknown
