Hiya It'd be excellent to meet up Diff and your welcome to come up here to Bolton the land of flat caps and whippets, any time you like. Theres a spare room for you and its quite safe as Im often more stoned on the gear I get at about 50-60 quid a teenth.
As far as that goes, things are going alright at the moment and im just helping out some mates selling, so we're buying in bulk and getting our stuff for nowt. If you ask me though, ive had that much that its stopped having much of an effect and a change would be nice. Its that slow battered head mongy creeping stuff, not the tingle and pins and needles on the back of ed stuff that doesnt last so long.
LLanelli, have you got one of those CCLLAANEELLEEEEE accents as well? I used to live in Lampeter in 96-97 where I did the last yaer of my archaeology degree. I Know what you mean about that price thing.I had to buy half a s***ty small gramme for 25 quid all the time. It had always been chopped to buggery as well.
Im into that idea of S.Africa coz its the only continent I havent been yet. its not the withdrawals that im bothered about its just the no sleep thing afterwords. You know, knowing that one day i'll be going travelling again somewhere is the only thing keeping me going. Its the only thing in my life I enjoy, seems ridiculous that i'd jeapordise it with this kind of lifestyle. Its like the second I get back here I'm back onthe gear. When Ive been travelling about ive obviously sampled the local couisine but not gone daft with it, even in Peru where coke was like 10p a gramme or something.
Im glad theres someone else on here from the UK, coz now at least someone will understand most of what Im on about.
Luv from Pauly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
going to have to go now coz ive been on here for 3 hours and its going to shut now.
Heroin-girl
(YENHO) - Sweet Anagram???????????
Am I right or what?
P.x
(YENHO) - Sweet Anagram???????????
Am I right or what?
P.x
Hi Paul, I have picked up a bit of an accent. My b/f's family are all Welsh speakers. My neices take the piss out of me mercilessly coz of my Welshy-Welshy lilt. Sometimes I even catch myself rolling my r's, like Cerys Matthews!
And hey, you may regret offering me a room. I'm looking for a place to live, and to my f***ed up addicted brain a room in a place where there's smack on hand 24/7 sounds appealing. But it'd probably be the end of me. I tried living in Bristol once. My b/f had a job working with this dealer who had been a mate for a long time. His girlfriend still considers me her best friend, even though I don't see her often, coz I can't bear seeing what that man and his drugs have done to that poor girl. Anyway, us girls were just left in a grotty flat with a big pile of smack. And when the boys came home they'd bring us a few rocks an' all. I was totally f***ed up on the gear. I didn't even know what day of the week it was. I remember coming to in the middle of the night. I was piss wet through coz the can of lager I was drinking had split all over me and the bed and I was too gouched to notice. I was dribbling down my tube and I'd jabbed myself in the arse with a pin that I'd left lying next to me when it fell out of my arm. I said to my b/f "Hey, we got to get out of here. I'm gonna die if we stay here." And the next day he give his mate the slip, and nicked home. I threw our bags out the window so nobody would see me walking out with all our stuff, and ran down and picked them up and we just sprinted to the car. I remember what the b/f said to me. It was a classic. He jumped in the car and we looked at each other and he said "Now let's get the f*** out of Dodge!" We drove back to Wales, stopping for a toot at Tintern Abbey. We both vowed on that we held most dear that we were both gonna clean up our acts. Now look at us! I suppose I'm on the sub now, and he's on the meth, so at least we ain't using regularly. But I still don't feel any committment to staying clean. Not at the moment. It's 7 days since I used last. I'm on new tablets now, Risperidone, and they are really doping me out.
I think that's enough of an essay.
love
diff
xox
And hey, you may regret offering me a room. I'm looking for a place to live, and to my f***ed up addicted brain a room in a place where there's smack on hand 24/7 sounds appealing. But it'd probably be the end of me. I tried living in Bristol once. My b/f had a job working with this dealer who had been a mate for a long time. His girlfriend still considers me her best friend, even though I don't see her often, coz I can't bear seeing what that man and his drugs have done to that poor girl. Anyway, us girls were just left in a grotty flat with a big pile of smack. And when the boys came home they'd bring us a few rocks an' all. I was totally f***ed up on the gear. I didn't even know what day of the week it was. I remember coming to in the middle of the night. I was piss wet through coz the can of lager I was drinking had split all over me and the bed and I was too gouched to notice. I was dribbling down my tube and I'd jabbed myself in the arse with a pin that I'd left lying next to me when it fell out of my arm. I said to my b/f "Hey, we got to get out of here. I'm gonna die if we stay here." And the next day he give his mate the slip, and nicked home. I threw our bags out the window so nobody would see me walking out with all our stuff, and ran down and picked them up and we just sprinted to the car. I remember what the b/f said to me. It was a classic. He jumped in the car and we looked at each other and he said "Now let's get the f*** out of Dodge!" We drove back to Wales, stopping for a toot at Tintern Abbey. We both vowed on that we held most dear that we were both gonna clean up our acts. Now look at us! I suppose I'm on the sub now, and he's on the meth, so at least we ain't using regularly. But I still don't feel any committment to staying clean. Not at the moment. It's 7 days since I used last. I'm on new tablets now, Risperidone, and they are really doping me out.
I think that's enough of an essay.
love
diff
xox
ya know it seems to be full of norvereners in here lol says alot bout us,gis a bag n we`ll have it,lmao.anyway tahst me said mi bit*from burnley * miself anyways gd luck and i have to lol at this story i had to give up reading it ages ago ,way to much for real life,makes walton jaiul sound like heaven lmfao.hehehe
Pauly,
Hey there stranger! I was begining to get worried about you, you know. I was gonna post Teena to see if she'd spoke to you on IM today. But surprise! You're back. So have you been on a , how do y'all put it, a mini-break? Was it fun?
Well, I think you may have it confused. I've never heard the expression "Red Indian". ? . ? The Indian in me you really can't tell except that I look a little bit tanned. If I stay out a lot in the summer, I will get very deeply tanned. And I have the high cheekbones and straight hair. And the tall, slender build. But I get my blue eyes and red tint (hair) from the other side of the family, who are Irish. I would happily send you a picture, but I am lacking in computer skills. You would have to tell me how. Send me one of you, ok? Under subject, put something like "Astrology chart: Pisces" That will keep me out of trouble with daddy. lol.
My dad has warned me that if he catches me giving any real personal info that he will be pissed off- and that's all the man had to say. He is a 3rd degree black belt and used to teach karate back a few years. ( my personal theory was that he wanted to be Steven Seagal) On a funny note, he did teach me the nunchuks and now I can do all these expert moves!! ;)
So Paul, have you had the chance to check out the band from Atlanta that I was telling you about? What do ya think? There's nothing I like better than flying down the highway in my car, listening to them and singing really loudly along w/ them.
Amazing, but I have missed talking to you. And T. I would love to meet up some day. Maybe after all is settled ( I'm on probation, too). I have done 4 years of probation and have one more to go. For 2 charges of distribution, 2 charges of conspiracy. $25,000 bail. $5,000 in fines and restitution. Crazy, no? Now, lil' ole me is a convicted felon. Unbelievable. Knock on wood (tap,tap) in those 4 yrs I've never failed a drug screen. Well, maybe at my clinic but not for probation officer. Oh yeah, my pro officer told me that if she finds me in a bar or finds out that I've been drinking she could violate me on my probation. Is it like that in England? I'm guessing no. One violation for me and I could be doing 15 yrs. HARSH!!! Don't you think?
Pardon me for drifting off a little bit....I just got out of class and don't have to work today either. It's nice. I wish I were in New York, or New Orleans, or Napal, Prague, Amsterdam, Yemen, anywhere! I am saving $$ to move somewhere more interesting. This town is in the armpit of Lucifer himself. Piss on it!! So tell me Paul, would you be into moving to the states for a while, getting a roommate?
No psycho-boyfriends for me. A couple of psycho stalkers, but I never led them on or anything. My closest and dearest friend, who I was/am? don't know, involved with is still in jail. We were together for 4 yrs, my longest for sure. But all through it I was using and cheating. I wanted an open, mellow kind of relationship but he wanted to get married. My mom and my dad both have been married 3 times each- I don't believe in it myself. Anyway, his name's Adam. He is half black, half white and beautiful. He's got dreads and he used to be a marine, so he's got a fabulous body. (Still I prefer tall and thin). All my other ex's I am still very friendly with. I have always hung with the guys. Never did I have any girlfriends. Except one, we grew up together from 2yrs old and on. In grade 10 we had a falling out and it broke my heart worse than any man ever could've. I guess I really don't trust women. Or men, unless it's just a friendship, which can be incredibly awesome. I know it's crazy to say, but I believe that right now, for me, the best relationship I could have would be a great friendship with a guy. To hang out and do fun things with and talk about music, art, movies, books, whatever! And great sex of course. But absolutely no seriousness, dramas, hurt feelings, or emotional attachments, other than the friendship.
I'm thinking we may want to start a new thread soon. How does everyone ( Teena, Pauly, Gabbs, Sandy....where's Sandy?, Diff- I've always loved the name Meredith!, and even Morph who's back. He needs in on this, too. I have been feeling the depression too. Today I went out and bought a bikini and some boots and other stuff. And of course, from Victoria's Secret. I guess it made me feel better somewhat.
I'm ready for warm weather to hit. "Summertime, and the livin's easy...."
Diff,
I understand completely what you said about your rottie. Since it's been so cold here, our 4 "outside" dogs have become indoor's. I love Rottweilers. They're so beautiful. Our neighbors have an awe-inspiring dog ( half siberian huski, half timberwolf ). his name is Zeus. He's the biggest canine I ever saw. Yet it's sad that they have to keep him tied up 90% of the time because he kills everything. Oh, and thanks for the sub info. I was really needing to know more before I change everything again, ya know?
I must jump off for a moment, I will write more a bit later.
See ya's, (in my head)
h-girl
Hey there stranger! I was begining to get worried about you, you know. I was gonna post Teena to see if she'd spoke to you on IM today. But surprise! You're back. So have you been on a , how do y'all put it, a mini-break? Was it fun?
Well, I think you may have it confused. I've never heard the expression "Red Indian". ? . ? The Indian in me you really can't tell except that I look a little bit tanned. If I stay out a lot in the summer, I will get very deeply tanned. And I have the high cheekbones and straight hair. And the tall, slender build. But I get my blue eyes and red tint (hair) from the other side of the family, who are Irish. I would happily send you a picture, but I am lacking in computer skills. You would have to tell me how. Send me one of you, ok? Under subject, put something like "Astrology chart: Pisces" That will keep me out of trouble with daddy. lol.
My dad has warned me that if he catches me giving any real personal info that he will be pissed off- and that's all the man had to say. He is a 3rd degree black belt and used to teach karate back a few years. ( my personal theory was that he wanted to be Steven Seagal) On a funny note, he did teach me the nunchuks and now I can do all these expert moves!! ;)
So Paul, have you had the chance to check out the band from Atlanta that I was telling you about? What do ya think? There's nothing I like better than flying down the highway in my car, listening to them and singing really loudly along w/ them.
Amazing, but I have missed talking to you. And T. I would love to meet up some day. Maybe after all is settled ( I'm on probation, too). I have done 4 years of probation and have one more to go. For 2 charges of distribution, 2 charges of conspiracy. $25,000 bail. $5,000 in fines and restitution. Crazy, no? Now, lil' ole me is a convicted felon. Unbelievable. Knock on wood (tap,tap) in those 4 yrs I've never failed a drug screen. Well, maybe at my clinic but not for probation officer. Oh yeah, my pro officer told me that if she finds me in a bar or finds out that I've been drinking she could violate me on my probation. Is it like that in England? I'm guessing no. One violation for me and I could be doing 15 yrs. HARSH!!! Don't you think?
Pardon me for drifting off a little bit....I just got out of class and don't have to work today either. It's nice. I wish I were in New York, or New Orleans, or Napal, Prague, Amsterdam, Yemen, anywhere! I am saving $$ to move somewhere more interesting. This town is in the armpit of Lucifer himself. Piss on it!! So tell me Paul, would you be into moving to the states for a while, getting a roommate?
No psycho-boyfriends for me. A couple of psycho stalkers, but I never led them on or anything. My closest and dearest friend, who I was/am? don't know, involved with is still in jail. We were together for 4 yrs, my longest for sure. But all through it I was using and cheating. I wanted an open, mellow kind of relationship but he wanted to get married. My mom and my dad both have been married 3 times each- I don't believe in it myself. Anyway, his name's Adam. He is half black, half white and beautiful. He's got dreads and he used to be a marine, so he's got a fabulous body. (Still I prefer tall and thin). All my other ex's I am still very friendly with. I have always hung with the guys. Never did I have any girlfriends. Except one, we grew up together from 2yrs old and on. In grade 10 we had a falling out and it broke my heart worse than any man ever could've. I guess I really don't trust women. Or men, unless it's just a friendship, which can be incredibly awesome. I know it's crazy to say, but I believe that right now, for me, the best relationship I could have would be a great friendship with a guy. To hang out and do fun things with and talk about music, art, movies, books, whatever! And great sex of course. But absolutely no seriousness, dramas, hurt feelings, or emotional attachments, other than the friendship.
I'm thinking we may want to start a new thread soon. How does everyone ( Teena, Pauly, Gabbs, Sandy....where's Sandy?, Diff- I've always loved the name Meredith!, and even Morph who's back. He needs in on this, too. I have been feeling the depression too. Today I went out and bought a bikini and some boots and other stuff. And of course, from Victoria's Secret. I guess it made me feel better somewhat.
I'm ready for warm weather to hit. "Summertime, and the livin's easy...."
Diff,
I understand completely what you said about your rottie. Since it's been so cold here, our 4 "outside" dogs have become indoor's. I love Rottweilers. They're so beautiful. Our neighbors have an awe-inspiring dog ( half siberian huski, half timberwolf ). his name is Zeus. He's the biggest canine I ever saw. Yet it's sad that they have to keep him tied up 90% of the time because he kills everything. Oh, and thanks for the sub info. I was really needing to know more before I change everything again, ya know?
I must jump off for a moment, I will write more a bit later.
See ya's, (in my head)
h-girl
Teena-darling,
How's my fav. mom doing today? I hope you're having a lovely day. At least as good as the Valentine's Day you brightened up for soo many on here. That was so very sweet of you and much appreciated. I felt a little lonely. The last guy I was seeing (started in Nov, ended in Jan.) really was an awful experience. I told him from the begining that I wanted a casual relationship only. He started sweet-talking me, telling me he had feelings for me and could not continue to see me if he thought I was still seeing other guys. Then he laid the L-word on me. My radar goes off!!!WARNING!!!WARNING!!!! Something's off! But we were having so much fun together that I cave and agree to his ultimatum of only seeing each other. Turns out that he is married with a 5 year old daughter who lives with his wife 2 and a half hours away. He'd even moved to my town and left them up there! Worst of all, he had given me gifts which I later found out belonged to his little girl and he took them from her and gave them to me!!! I never felt so stupid, so guilty, so ashamed that I almost believed this guy's story. What was I thinking, I knew better. I knew better than to get involved with him. I had a feeling that something was a bit off about him, but I never imagined all that sh*t!!! So I kicked him to the curb (literally, we were driving down the road when his wife called my cell phone!!). But Teena, why is it that 9 times out of 10 I would always go for the 'bad' guy and never the good guy who would treat me like a doll? Actually, that was the first time I had ever felt burned by a man. Sucked.
Are you involved with anyone special? Come on, sista- let's hear it! Any same such relationships in your past? How did you get over it? Feeling like you contributed to the split of a family? I imagined that his little girl would feel about me the same way I always felt about my stepmom. And I couldn't live with that.
Well, girlfriend(s), I'm off,
h-girl
How's my fav. mom doing today? I hope you're having a lovely day. At least as good as the Valentine's Day you brightened up for soo many on here. That was so very sweet of you and much appreciated. I felt a little lonely. The last guy I was seeing (started in Nov, ended in Jan.) really was an awful experience. I told him from the begining that I wanted a casual relationship only. He started sweet-talking me, telling me he had feelings for me and could not continue to see me if he thought I was still seeing other guys. Then he laid the L-word on me. My radar goes off!!!WARNING!!!WARNING!!!! Something's off! But we were having so much fun together that I cave and agree to his ultimatum of only seeing each other. Turns out that he is married with a 5 year old daughter who lives with his wife 2 and a half hours away. He'd even moved to my town and left them up there! Worst of all, he had given me gifts which I later found out belonged to his little girl and he took them from her and gave them to me!!! I never felt so stupid, so guilty, so ashamed that I almost believed this guy's story. What was I thinking, I knew better. I knew better than to get involved with him. I had a feeling that something was a bit off about him, but I never imagined all that sh*t!!! So I kicked him to the curb (literally, we were driving down the road when his wife called my cell phone!!). But Teena, why is it that 9 times out of 10 I would always go for the 'bad' guy and never the good guy who would treat me like a doll? Actually, that was the first time I had ever felt burned by a man. Sucked.
Are you involved with anyone special? Come on, sista- let's hear it! Any same such relationships in your past? How did you get over it? Feeling like you contributed to the split of a family? I imagined that his little girl would feel about me the same way I always felt about my stepmom. And I couldn't live with that.
Well, girlfriend(s), I'm off,
h-girl
Hiya H-girl, I'm up for the idea of a new thread.
It's f***in' s***ty when you get taken in by a guy like that. I don't trust a one of them, not when it comes to sex. I've had so many guys come on to me when I KNOW they got a woman. And they know that I know, and it still don't stop 'em. You musta wanted to puke when you found out about the presents and stuff that belonged to his kiddies. If I didn't enjoy sex so much, I'd just stick to my vibe!
love ya
diff
It's f***in' s***ty when you get taken in by a guy like that. I don't trust a one of them, not when it comes to sex. I've had so many guys come on to me when I KNOW they got a woman. And they know that I know, and it still don't stop 'em. You musta wanted to puke when you found out about the presents and stuff that belonged to his kiddies. If I didn't enjoy sex so much, I'd just stick to my vibe!
love ya
diff
Diff,
Yeah, I especially wanted to puke day before yesterday when the son of a b*tch came into the store I work in to see if I wanted to "hook up" while he was in town. (he moved back to his wife after I went off on him). What's messed up is that I spoke with her on the phone and told her who I was and that I had no idea that he was married. I felt sooo bad for this woman. She was screaming and wailing. We both swore that neither of us would ever have him back. She told me about their daughter's missing earrings. I was literally sick to my stomach. I mailed them back to her. Poor woman, taking him back. What's she thinking? This is gonna sound really childish, but he was no great lay. So what is it?
Anyways, I'm glad that's over. And I am glad that I never got attached to him. How's your guy? Did you decide what to do with him yet? Just remember that you are a strong and caring woman, from what I've seen, talented too. You have alot of charm and witt. And usually, in order to be witty, you must be pretty smart. You deserve someone to treat you the way you want to be treated. And you know what? So do I. I don't know what's up with me that I have this amazing guy back home who would do anything for me, who never even looks at other chicks and thinks that I can do no wrong (granted, he is in jail but only because he got in a fight with this fellow who was keeping me coked up) And he's fantastic looking. But I go for the ones with the most f*cked up intentions. I can't help it - I just love men. I crave them, I think.
I read the thread where everyone was supposed to tell a few things about who they are and their likes/dislikes. I love dancing in clubs, too. I love concerts, don't you? What kind of music do you dig? Well, sista, I'm gonna have some cereal (basically what I have for every meal) I'm thinking Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Do y'all get that in the U.K.? It's my fav.
Well sweetie, cereal is calling. Thanks for the support, it was a sh*tty time I went through w/dude.
with love and hugs,
h-girl
Yeah, I especially wanted to puke day before yesterday when the son of a b*tch came into the store I work in to see if I wanted to "hook up" while he was in town. (he moved back to his wife after I went off on him). What's messed up is that I spoke with her on the phone and told her who I was and that I had no idea that he was married. I felt sooo bad for this woman. She was screaming and wailing. We both swore that neither of us would ever have him back. She told me about their daughter's missing earrings. I was literally sick to my stomach. I mailed them back to her. Poor woman, taking him back. What's she thinking? This is gonna sound really childish, but he was no great lay. So what is it?
Anyways, I'm glad that's over. And I am glad that I never got attached to him. How's your guy? Did you decide what to do with him yet? Just remember that you are a strong and caring woman, from what I've seen, talented too. You have alot of charm and witt. And usually, in order to be witty, you must be pretty smart. You deserve someone to treat you the way you want to be treated. And you know what? So do I. I don't know what's up with me that I have this amazing guy back home who would do anything for me, who never even looks at other chicks and thinks that I can do no wrong (granted, he is in jail but only because he got in a fight with this fellow who was keeping me coked up) And he's fantastic looking. But I go for the ones with the most f*cked up intentions. I can't help it - I just love men. I crave them, I think.
I read the thread where everyone was supposed to tell a few things about who they are and their likes/dislikes. I love dancing in clubs, too. I love concerts, don't you? What kind of music do you dig? Well, sista, I'm gonna have some cereal (basically what I have for every meal) I'm thinking Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Do y'all get that in the U.K.? It's my fav.
Well sweetie, cereal is calling. Thanks for the support, it was a sh*tty time I went through w/dude.
with love and hugs,
h-girl
Diff,
Just wondering if you've ever been to the U.S. before? Would you ever consider moving to the states for awhile? For a change of scenery. Or to pursue your talent for writing and poetry?
thought I'd ask,
your pal,
h-girl
Just wondering if you've ever been to the U.S. before? Would you ever consider moving to the states for awhile? For a change of scenery. Or to pursue your talent for writing and poetry?
thought I'd ask,
your pal,
h-girl
I told you Diffy (I think Meredith is a top name as well) that if you need somewhere to stay for a bit your welcome. Im not your usual kind of smackhead though and my house isnt that bad according to everyone that comes there. Ive seen some places though like the one ive just been in most of the afternoon and theyre right dives what with pins lying around and dirty dishes and s*** allover the place. NAh, couldnt live in a place like that and its always a pleasure to go home to my place.Do you want to be my room-mate or just my gimp that I feed drugs too? Im feeling a bit like h-g at the moment and wouldnt mind a new partner in crime to arse around with.
I was wondering do you look like a gear head? I keep getting told that I dont but when I look in the mirror im sure ive got that heroin sheik look, with grey unhealthy skin and sunken cheeks and pinned pupils. God I hate it when my pupils are big, it doesnt suit me.
I'd love to come over to the states h-g but i dont know if i'd last 2 minutes with a man eater like yourself. I used to be a bit of a slag but within the last few years ive become a 1 woman guy without a woman. Ill send you a photo if you like for what its worth. I said to myself I wasnt going to do it again after the last time.
I dont think I'll be able to stand up to your high standards though now ive cut off my dreads and lost a bit of weight but i reckon we'd probably get on well though coz im into all the other stuff you mentioned. You just know dont you when you'll get on with someone. Appart from about 1 person Ive not anyone i wouldnt get on with in real life on here.
oh, and your using that old chestnut of an excuse are you? the I dont know how to attach a picture. Yeh, right!!! Your dads right though, i wouldnt send any personal info again, not unless it was someone i could trust. I should have learnt that from when i gave that russian woman my real address before. Just like everything else though, I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Your dad sounds like a right nasty piece of work, with his karate and stuff. Bugs me that, my brothers into all that s*** but if you ask me theres nowt better than a swift kick in the bollocks.
ill go and check that rehab band later on. Its just that ive had a reall busy week but its almost finsished now and someone else has taken over for the next week now, so im free again.
that probation is a bag of s***e isnt it?, i never get anything sorted on that.dont get me started with that. Just because of that, its going to be hard getting out of this country this year. Honestly if I could get on a plane now i would. Would there be someplace in hicksville for me to stay if I did? do you reckon i'd even get out of this country on this order? I could just come or viceversa and then worry about the aftereffects later. I cant beleive something as s*** as that is keeping me here for another bloody year.
I hope all your depressions have started going away now. Mines lifting I can tell but I think the reason i was getting depressed has also gone away so things can only get better.
What did I tell you about the x-boyfriend thing. Have you all got mental x-boyfriends? Thats a proper pain. I only ever went with one girl who had one and it was a total stress from day 1. Its funny how they always say 'dont worry, hes soft as s***, you'll easy batter him' and then he turns out to be a total cracked up physco nobhead and hard as nails.
Sorry to hear about that last boyfriend h-g. Its hard work when someone mentions the L word so early on. NO COMMENT but f*** that guy off coz you can do better than that. I dont like thinking any friend of mine would have to put up with that crap. Do you not like it when you know you can always respect your mates decisions and stick up for them when they need help and when you do. thats what people are like round here arnt they freestyler.Nothing more faithful than a Northerner.
Hey guys dont start a new thread yet, coz I just want to see this one go over 1000, ok? Why do you need a new one, so other people can join in? fair enough, even though im happy with just you guys. There must be quite a lot of nosey bastards though because with 800 looks and only us lot here, who are the others?
Diff i thought you said you'd got rid of your x-boyfriend? Whats your plan, you just going to dissappear or are you still in love or what?
hang on, times running out back in a minute
I was wondering do you look like a gear head? I keep getting told that I dont but when I look in the mirror im sure ive got that heroin sheik look, with grey unhealthy skin and sunken cheeks and pinned pupils. God I hate it when my pupils are big, it doesnt suit me.
I'd love to come over to the states h-g but i dont know if i'd last 2 minutes with a man eater like yourself. I used to be a bit of a slag but within the last few years ive become a 1 woman guy without a woman. Ill send you a photo if you like for what its worth. I said to myself I wasnt going to do it again after the last time.
I dont think I'll be able to stand up to your high standards though now ive cut off my dreads and lost a bit of weight but i reckon we'd probably get on well though coz im into all the other stuff you mentioned. You just know dont you when you'll get on with someone. Appart from about 1 person Ive not anyone i wouldnt get on with in real life on here.
oh, and your using that old chestnut of an excuse are you? the I dont know how to attach a picture. Yeh, right!!! Your dads right though, i wouldnt send any personal info again, not unless it was someone i could trust. I should have learnt that from when i gave that russian woman my real address before. Just like everything else though, I keep making the same mistakes over and over again. Your dad sounds like a right nasty piece of work, with his karate and stuff. Bugs me that, my brothers into all that s*** but if you ask me theres nowt better than a swift kick in the bollocks.
ill go and check that rehab band later on. Its just that ive had a reall busy week but its almost finsished now and someone else has taken over for the next week now, so im free again.
that probation is a bag of s***e isnt it?, i never get anything sorted on that.dont get me started with that. Just because of that, its going to be hard getting out of this country this year. Honestly if I could get on a plane now i would. Would there be someplace in hicksville for me to stay if I did? do you reckon i'd even get out of this country on this order? I could just come or viceversa and then worry about the aftereffects later. I cant beleive something as s*** as that is keeping me here for another bloody year.
I hope all your depressions have started going away now. Mines lifting I can tell but I think the reason i was getting depressed has also gone away so things can only get better.
What did I tell you about the x-boyfriend thing. Have you all got mental x-boyfriends? Thats a proper pain. I only ever went with one girl who had one and it was a total stress from day 1. Its funny how they always say 'dont worry, hes soft as s***, you'll easy batter him' and then he turns out to be a total cracked up physco nobhead and hard as nails.
Sorry to hear about that last boyfriend h-g. Its hard work when someone mentions the L word so early on. NO COMMENT but f*** that guy off coz you can do better than that. I dont like thinking any friend of mine would have to put up with that crap. Do you not like it when you know you can always respect your mates decisions and stick up for them when they need help and when you do. thats what people are like round here arnt they freestyler.Nothing more faithful than a Northerner.
Hey guys dont start a new thread yet, coz I just want to see this one go over 1000, ok? Why do you need a new one, so other people can join in? fair enough, even though im happy with just you guys. There must be quite a lot of nosey bastards though because with 800 looks and only us lot here, who are the others?
Diff i thought you said you'd got rid of your x-boyfriend? Whats your plan, you just going to dissappear or are you still in love or what?
hang on, times running out back in a minute
Hi folks, Well Paul, I'm defo leaving the b/f and he knows I'm doing everything I can to move out. It's really awkward though coz our benefits are all tied together. He's got MS, and I get extra money for caring for him. There is nothing in place to replace me when I go, so I've told him I'll be around to take care of him still, even after I move out. I spoke to his sister today and she knows what's going on, and she's promised to help out more. So I'm gonna have a lot more freedom, and if I want to go away for a bit, I'm sure arrangements can be made.
And as for looking like a smack head, I really don't at all. I seem to have a very innocent face, coz most people have real trouble believing I'm into gear. Most folks think I'm a social worker or teacher or something, coz I ain't a "Kappa-slapper". I don't wear loads of gold chains or anything with "Umbro" on it. I dress pretty smart I suppose. I like to look good. When my habit was at it's worst I used to dress like a tramp, my hair was a mess and I looked like s***. I was really depressed then too. But I'm a different Diff now! I always wear boots. I like to be comfortable. People tell me I'm a very pretty girl, and I'm happy with the way I look. I lost a lot of weight when I went onto subs, but that seems to have evened out now, and my ribs don't stick out anymore. I don't get that pinned look, coz I have very dark eyes, they're virtually black anyway so it's hard to see my pupils at the best of times. Which is odd, coz I don't have dark hair, which is long with blonde highlights. So on the whole I'd say there is very little that gives away my dirty secret. That's why people like me to do runs for them, coz the pigs (at least the ones that don't know me) have trouble believing I'm a smackhead too.
And if I came to stay with you? I'd be coming for a good time, so you'd better dig out you dancin' shoes! As far as being a gimp? I think you'd prefer me without the rubber suit. And drugs are never free. Somewhere along the line it'd cost me! I need a bit of fun in my life right now.
H-g, you were asking about music. I have a really broad taste. I was brought up on punk rock, like The Dead Kennedy's, Stiff Little Fingers, The Wedding Present, Iggy Pop and The Stooges, stuff like that. I absolutely love Lou Reed. I am totally his biggest fan. Perfect Day is and always has been one of my fav tunes ever. These days I like bands like The chilli peppers, Snow Patrol, Kasabian. I also like dance music. I love the Chemical Brothers esp their new one Galvanise. My tune of last year was Deep dish - Flashdance.
I've never been to the States. My feeling is once you've been to South Africa, you don't ever want to go anywhere else. It's such an awesome place. I had a very spiritual experience in RSA, involving some top draw acid, and and oz of Malawi. I've known from that day onwards that South Africa is my spiritual home, and I will one day live there full-time. Maybe it would do me good to visit the US, but it just seems to me to be a place with all the problems we have in Britain, only worse. Am I moaning? I'd like to be able to visit some of the people I've met on this board, and that alone is a good enough justification to me.
And as for men, I feel pretty much the same way you do. I do love men, in a carnal way, but I don't want to stuck with a f***ing loser. Most of "the boys" (that's what they call themselves) round here have only ever been as far as Bristol, and some of them haven't even been that far. To get back into Wales you have to go over the Severn Toll Bridge, and "the boys" find that really distressing, having to pay to get back in. They're all "Let me back into my Country! Open the gate!" They are such homeboys. They're all so narrow minded. I'd like to be with a man who challenges me mentally. Well I certainly ain't gonna find that in any of "the boys" round here! You know, we owe it to ourselves to find guys who know how to treat a lady. In bed and otherwise...this could be a long job...
Anyway, I'm starving so I'm off in search of grub.
love
diff
And as for looking like a smack head, I really don't at all. I seem to have a very innocent face, coz most people have real trouble believing I'm into gear. Most folks think I'm a social worker or teacher or something, coz I ain't a "Kappa-slapper". I don't wear loads of gold chains or anything with "Umbro" on it. I dress pretty smart I suppose. I like to look good. When my habit was at it's worst I used to dress like a tramp, my hair was a mess and I looked like s***. I was really depressed then too. But I'm a different Diff now! I always wear boots. I like to be comfortable. People tell me I'm a very pretty girl, and I'm happy with the way I look. I lost a lot of weight when I went onto subs, but that seems to have evened out now, and my ribs don't stick out anymore. I don't get that pinned look, coz I have very dark eyes, they're virtually black anyway so it's hard to see my pupils at the best of times. Which is odd, coz I don't have dark hair, which is long with blonde highlights. So on the whole I'd say there is very little that gives away my dirty secret. That's why people like me to do runs for them, coz the pigs (at least the ones that don't know me) have trouble believing I'm a smackhead too.
And if I came to stay with you? I'd be coming for a good time, so you'd better dig out you dancin' shoes! As far as being a gimp? I think you'd prefer me without the rubber suit. And drugs are never free. Somewhere along the line it'd cost me! I need a bit of fun in my life right now.
H-g, you were asking about music. I have a really broad taste. I was brought up on punk rock, like The Dead Kennedy's, Stiff Little Fingers, The Wedding Present, Iggy Pop and The Stooges, stuff like that. I absolutely love Lou Reed. I am totally his biggest fan. Perfect Day is and always has been one of my fav tunes ever. These days I like bands like The chilli peppers, Snow Patrol, Kasabian. I also like dance music. I love the Chemical Brothers esp their new one Galvanise. My tune of last year was Deep dish - Flashdance.
I've never been to the States. My feeling is once you've been to South Africa, you don't ever want to go anywhere else. It's such an awesome place. I had a very spiritual experience in RSA, involving some top draw acid, and and oz of Malawi. I've known from that day onwards that South Africa is my spiritual home, and I will one day live there full-time. Maybe it would do me good to visit the US, but it just seems to me to be a place with all the problems we have in Britain, only worse. Am I moaning? I'd like to be able to visit some of the people I've met on this board, and that alone is a good enough justification to me.
And as for men, I feel pretty much the same way you do. I do love men, in a carnal way, but I don't want to stuck with a f***ing loser. Most of "the boys" (that's what they call themselves) round here have only ever been as far as Bristol, and some of them haven't even been that far. To get back into Wales you have to go over the Severn Toll Bridge, and "the boys" find that really distressing, having to pay to get back in. They're all "Let me back into my Country! Open the gate!" They are such homeboys. They're all so narrow minded. I'd like to be with a man who challenges me mentally. Well I certainly ain't gonna find that in any of "the boys" round here! You know, we owe it to ourselves to find guys who know how to treat a lady. In bed and otherwise...this could be a long job...
Anyway, I'm starving so I'm off in search of grub.
love
diff
Well as for 'birds' I dont want to be stuck with no Kappa slapper with loads of fake soveriegns and a ring on every finger. Do they do that down there as well? mad that all over the UK theres these stereotypes of slappers and lads'boys'.
Good for the both of us that we dont look like gear heads then. Thing is that im on the edge and have lost a hell of a lot of weight recently. People keep saying I still look ok but I can notice it when I look at photos from only a few years ago.
As for boots, Im into them too.Timberland ones.What about you, not those thigh length ones are they?....Grrrr. Keep em on!
I always like to look good as well and theres no excuse for at least being clean. Some of the dickheads round here get proper pissed off when you dont wear the regulation rockport boots with trackys tucked into those argyl socks! Nice?
Im a bit like you I suppose, coz although I can mix easily with those types I can also hold my own with more or less anyone and ive also been on this never ending search for a partner that will satisfy me in all those different ways. My problem is that I expect everyone I meet to be at the same level as me. I forget that most of these people have never been out of Bolton, nevermind travelled to almost every continent appart from Africa. I must look like a right know it all sometimes and expect anyone to be able to just talk about anything. If anyone of my mates had had just one of the million experiences ive had then im sure that they would always be talking about it as well. I just cant help it Diff, Im seriously lacking some intelligent company but also someone whos got an 'adventurous' streak as well. It just isnt going to happen round here and I find I stagnate easily. When I do find someone with half a brain they either dont satisfy the other criteria or we just end up arguing coz they dont agree with my other habits if you know what I mean. I already have been a teacher in a few places but I had to stop doing it coz it contradicted to much with what I do when im back here.
Im sad to hear about your boyfriends MS, my x-girlfriends mum used to have that and it was awful and if your in that position of being his home help as well as his girlfriend then I cant imagine how s*** that must be, especially when you probably feel guilty for wanting to leave him, nevermind what he must feel about you doing it. Proper stress that Diff, i'll bet, not surprised you want a good time.
Dont know if thats what you'll get here though but I promise you that I wont rely on you for anything. honestly my life here is pretty boring most of the time and I sort of come and go within the drug community. I have my own quiet place here and no-one ever intrudes there as they respect my privacy so even if I did have any one staying you wouldnt feel uncomfortable in any way, i dont think.
That must be a big cut in your benefits as well eh? you get a decent bit extra on that invalid benefit dont you. Im not on that, just on income supprt coz im a useless smackhead whos unreliable for work. It used to bother me but now ive been scrounging off the goverment for about 3 years and i couldnt give a s***.
Dancin shoes, threw them away in about 92 when I stopped going out raving. It got a bit to commercial after that, so instead we just took the drugs at home instead, sitting in the front room with a plant pot on yer head.
whatever the case im sure we could find some fun. Theres not many gear heads round here who like going out clubbing or even going to the pubs. Theyd end up getting twatted if they did, as theres a lot of lads round here who dont like H and prefer kicking each others heads in, pissed up. I stopped drinking coz it doesnt mix with the meth. Only time i do drink is when ive had some Billy but prey your not me when ive had that coz i turn into a right filthy sex starved purv!
Good taste in music as well. I used to be a skinhead, then punk and then a dramatic change into raver? and now just a misxed up mess. My music tastes have clamed down a lot and I like listening to mellow stuff a lot like Trash Can Sinatras, Embrace, Snow Patrol, that kind of stuff.
I was thinking about going to S.Africa one day but I got to carried away with S.AMerica and had a similar experience there as you did in Africa. Lived there for about 3 years, it was awesome, everyday. However, I know that the UK is a load of s*** but I still missed the familiarity of the place. You know how it is, you come home expecting everything to have at least of changed a bit but its all exactly as you left it, like you never went anywhere. Ive made that same mistake now about 10 times but now the cash has more or less run out, im stuck here until I think of a plan. What i'd really like is a partner in crime or someone just as daft as me to give me a kick up the arse again, if you know what i mean.
I hope your around tonight coz im at my dads watching some vids with them. Its bearable after the amount of jazz ive had today.s*** man, I should be out somewhere doing mad things but im satsified just being a cabbage here. whats wrong with me?
Hey, I finally just got an e-mail from Teena.If your there T, heres a big sloppy kiss for you. Sssscmmmmaaakkk!!!!! Shes in a similar situation to us I reckon and shes got some difficult issues but no-one around to share them with properly. Not reckon it'd be great if we could all meet up. Maybe us 2 will have to go around and meet everyone.
Hiya heroin-girl if youve finished selling your knickers today! i'll try and send you a thing later, ok?
miss you all,
luv from Ruski
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Good for the both of us that we dont look like gear heads then. Thing is that im on the edge and have lost a hell of a lot of weight recently. People keep saying I still look ok but I can notice it when I look at photos from only a few years ago.
As for boots, Im into them too.Timberland ones.What about you, not those thigh length ones are they?....Grrrr. Keep em on!
I always like to look good as well and theres no excuse for at least being clean. Some of the dickheads round here get proper pissed off when you dont wear the regulation rockport boots with trackys tucked into those argyl socks! Nice?
Im a bit like you I suppose, coz although I can mix easily with those types I can also hold my own with more or less anyone and ive also been on this never ending search for a partner that will satisfy me in all those different ways. My problem is that I expect everyone I meet to be at the same level as me. I forget that most of these people have never been out of Bolton, nevermind travelled to almost every continent appart from Africa. I must look like a right know it all sometimes and expect anyone to be able to just talk about anything. If anyone of my mates had had just one of the million experiences ive had then im sure that they would always be talking about it as well. I just cant help it Diff, Im seriously lacking some intelligent company but also someone whos got an 'adventurous' streak as well. It just isnt going to happen round here and I find I stagnate easily. When I do find someone with half a brain they either dont satisfy the other criteria or we just end up arguing coz they dont agree with my other habits if you know what I mean. I already have been a teacher in a few places but I had to stop doing it coz it contradicted to much with what I do when im back here.
Im sad to hear about your boyfriends MS, my x-girlfriends mum used to have that and it was awful and if your in that position of being his home help as well as his girlfriend then I cant imagine how s*** that must be, especially when you probably feel guilty for wanting to leave him, nevermind what he must feel about you doing it. Proper stress that Diff, i'll bet, not surprised you want a good time.
Dont know if thats what you'll get here though but I promise you that I wont rely on you for anything. honestly my life here is pretty boring most of the time and I sort of come and go within the drug community. I have my own quiet place here and no-one ever intrudes there as they respect my privacy so even if I did have any one staying you wouldnt feel uncomfortable in any way, i dont think.
That must be a big cut in your benefits as well eh? you get a decent bit extra on that invalid benefit dont you. Im not on that, just on income supprt coz im a useless smackhead whos unreliable for work. It used to bother me but now ive been scrounging off the goverment for about 3 years and i couldnt give a s***.
Dancin shoes, threw them away in about 92 when I stopped going out raving. It got a bit to commercial after that, so instead we just took the drugs at home instead, sitting in the front room with a plant pot on yer head.
whatever the case im sure we could find some fun. Theres not many gear heads round here who like going out clubbing or even going to the pubs. Theyd end up getting twatted if they did, as theres a lot of lads round here who dont like H and prefer kicking each others heads in, pissed up. I stopped drinking coz it doesnt mix with the meth. Only time i do drink is when ive had some Billy but prey your not me when ive had that coz i turn into a right filthy sex starved purv!
Good taste in music as well. I used to be a skinhead, then punk and then a dramatic change into raver? and now just a misxed up mess. My music tastes have clamed down a lot and I like listening to mellow stuff a lot like Trash Can Sinatras, Embrace, Snow Patrol, that kind of stuff.
I was thinking about going to S.Africa one day but I got to carried away with S.AMerica and had a similar experience there as you did in Africa. Lived there for about 3 years, it was awesome, everyday. However, I know that the UK is a load of s*** but I still missed the familiarity of the place. You know how it is, you come home expecting everything to have at least of changed a bit but its all exactly as you left it, like you never went anywhere. Ive made that same mistake now about 10 times but now the cash has more or less run out, im stuck here until I think of a plan. What i'd really like is a partner in crime or someone just as daft as me to give me a kick up the arse again, if you know what i mean.
I hope your around tonight coz im at my dads watching some vids with them. Its bearable after the amount of jazz ive had today.s*** man, I should be out somewhere doing mad things but im satsified just being a cabbage here. whats wrong with me?
Hey, I finally just got an e-mail from Teena.If your there T, heres a big sloppy kiss for you. Sssscmmmmaaakkk!!!!! Shes in a similar situation to us I reckon and shes got some difficult issues but no-one around to share them with properly. Not reckon it'd be great if we could all meet up. Maybe us 2 will have to go around and meet everyone.
Hiya heroin-girl if youve finished selling your knickers today! i'll try and send you a thing later, ok?
miss you all,
luv from Ruski
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Hi Paul, Have you seen/heard Goldie Looking Chain? They're from round here, and totally epitomise the Chav mentality in South Wales. I thought it was just the Welsh who were full on chavvies but it seems they've been breeding and have spread like a plague across the whole of the UK!
I joined the chemical generation late in life. It kind of passed me by in the late 80's/early 90's. I was too busy indulging in the traveller lifestyle. Lots of acoustic guitars on my sites. And plenty of acid and pills. But I steered pretty clear of the nasty stuff in those days. But I discovered clubbing for real about 8 years ago, and nothing beats coming up on a pill when you've got a really good sound system. I don't get a chance to go that often, but I'm planning a big night out next weekend. I don't drink alcohol. I used to like a drink, but I've completely lost the taste for alcohol now. I find I just get melancholic if I drink, so I steer well clear of it.
Do you ever go to Glastonbury? I haven't been since they put up the wall, but I always used to go when it was easy to get through the fence. It did get silly though. There were so many people there the last time I went, the crush in the crowd was getting scary. There were just too many people there. I absolutely loved going. It was always the highlight of my summer. It's virtually impossible to get tickets now.
You know, I'm seriously considering coming to visit you for a night or two. I'll have to check out how much the trains are, coz my car might not make it. I'm going crazy here. I need a distraction. Do you think you can distract me? I feel the same as you. It's difficult to find someone who you can be happy with, when your lifestyle dictates that your contemporaries, on the whole, don't share your interests. I'm sure some people find me quite worldly, but I'm not at all. Not compared to the rest of my family. Talking of family, my mother's been on at me again, to get my South African passport sorted out. They really want me to go out there to live. It's only my dog that's holding me back. And my script. But I reckon it wouldn't be too bad, doing my cluck out there. I've done it before out there and it wasn't that painful, all things considered. The sunshine helps a lot.
Anyway, I need a cuppa, so I'll love ya and leave ya!
love
diff
I joined the chemical generation late in life. It kind of passed me by in the late 80's/early 90's. I was too busy indulging in the traveller lifestyle. Lots of acoustic guitars on my sites. And plenty of acid and pills. But I steered pretty clear of the nasty stuff in those days. But I discovered clubbing for real about 8 years ago, and nothing beats coming up on a pill when you've got a really good sound system. I don't get a chance to go that often, but I'm planning a big night out next weekend. I don't drink alcohol. I used to like a drink, but I've completely lost the taste for alcohol now. I find I just get melancholic if I drink, so I steer well clear of it.
Do you ever go to Glastonbury? I haven't been since they put up the wall, but I always used to go when it was easy to get through the fence. It did get silly though. There were so many people there the last time I went, the crush in the crowd was getting scary. There were just too many people there. I absolutely loved going. It was always the highlight of my summer. It's virtually impossible to get tickets now.
You know, I'm seriously considering coming to visit you for a night or two. I'll have to check out how much the trains are, coz my car might not make it. I'm going crazy here. I need a distraction. Do you think you can distract me? I feel the same as you. It's difficult to find someone who you can be happy with, when your lifestyle dictates that your contemporaries, on the whole, don't share your interests. I'm sure some people find me quite worldly, but I'm not at all. Not compared to the rest of my family. Talking of family, my mother's been on at me again, to get my South African passport sorted out. They really want me to go out there to live. It's only my dog that's holding me back. And my script. But I reckon it wouldn't be too bad, doing my cluck out there. I've done it before out there and it wasn't that painful, all things considered. The sunshine helps a lot.
Anyway, I need a cuppa, so I'll love ya and leave ya!
love
diff
Oh gawd, NO, dont say that, just a couple of days!!! nah, not good enough! who knows you'd probably hate it here, just as much as there but i'll try and entertain you and we'll be alright Im sure.
Your a lucky sod to have got your probation finished so fast, coz mines just started before xmas, so Im stuck here I think. have you any idea whether your name goes on a computer in case you decide to get out of the country. I can t bear the idea of being stuck here all year, although even if I wasnt on probation i'd still have the script problem same as you, and that always holds me back. Ive only ever done my ripp cold before and that was in Siberia, and we all know what hapopenned there.
No, I never went to Glastonbury but its never appealed to me the last 10 years coz of the commercial bulls*** like you said. I dont know if you read what i'd written about Woodstock before. I only just bothered to watch it all the way through, last week and I must say I was well stunned. That would have been excellent to have been there but its easy to say that when your watching it on tv, not slippping around in the s*** and coming down off acid feeling all sweaty and paranoid. Nightmare, i cant imagine anything worse than coming down in a freezing cold tent, stinking and eating nasty food.
me and my mates were talking about Goldy Looking chain the other day and cant say we had much good to say. Chavvies?, just scrubbers.
Anyhow, What a bunch of wankers, was the conclusion. Im not really into that kind of stuff and tend to drift towards the mellow acoustic kind of atmosphere you mentioned. Thats only come recently(last 10 years) though ,as I seem to have really mellowed out after abusing myself continously over a 20 year peroid. Saying that though, Ive been told I dont look to bad because of it and I cant say all my life has turned out crap because of my drug experiences. On the contrary it has changed my life dramatically in many ways and if it werent for that I may never have got to Peru. Your right though, I still get prickles up the back of my neck when I here certain 'tunes'. Thats only one musical part of my life, theres always been music for everything, I dont know what i;d do without it. Theres no way i;d even listen to that kind of music unless I where in a club or off my head on something.
Im the same when it somes to beer as well. It tastes like s*** and just makes me act like a nob. It doesnt mix to well with my meth either, so i dont bother, it just doesnt suit me.
Whereabouts in S.Africa. Ooohhh Hang on, are you trying to tell me something here? This'll sound bloody stupid, but are you black??????
Your right about the sunshine helping you, I cant say Ive ever tried doing my rip in a really sunny place. Its not the withdrawals that get me, its the no sleep thing. At the moment Im sleeping a lot, apparently its depression but it feels lovely and all nice and warm and safe in my smelly bed! Cant imagine life without sleeping. I really feel like im going to go crazy once ive been for more than 2 nights without any.Its bloody scary as well. I think a lot of my bad vibes about doing my rip again come from when i was in Siberia. It was as if I could feel the vibe eminating from the Siberian city and people where I was staying. This place had an evil undercurrent and the people emitted a desperate, dangerous vibration. It sounds wierd saying this now but to be stuck a million miles away from home in this post Soviet concrete jungle, doing your rip without any help or care from anyone took a big chunk out of my confidence.
RRight from LLaneli, you'll probably have to go to Bristol and then up to Manchester-Bolton. Its pretty far that and will cost around..what?maybe 50-60 quid I reckon.
Tell me diffy, what do you usually do with yourself. Are you working or anything?
IM still here and ill wait for you to get back to me :)
in a bit
xxxxxxxxx
Your a lucky sod to have got your probation finished so fast, coz mines just started before xmas, so Im stuck here I think. have you any idea whether your name goes on a computer in case you decide to get out of the country. I can t bear the idea of being stuck here all year, although even if I wasnt on probation i'd still have the script problem same as you, and that always holds me back. Ive only ever done my ripp cold before and that was in Siberia, and we all know what hapopenned there.
No, I never went to Glastonbury but its never appealed to me the last 10 years coz of the commercial bulls*** like you said. I dont know if you read what i'd written about Woodstock before. I only just bothered to watch it all the way through, last week and I must say I was well stunned. That would have been excellent to have been there but its easy to say that when your watching it on tv, not slippping around in the s*** and coming down off acid feeling all sweaty and paranoid. Nightmare, i cant imagine anything worse than coming down in a freezing cold tent, stinking and eating nasty food.
me and my mates were talking about Goldy Looking chain the other day and cant say we had much good to say. Chavvies?, just scrubbers.
Anyhow, What a bunch of wankers, was the conclusion. Im not really into that kind of stuff and tend to drift towards the mellow acoustic kind of atmosphere you mentioned. Thats only come recently(last 10 years) though ,as I seem to have really mellowed out after abusing myself continously over a 20 year peroid. Saying that though, Ive been told I dont look to bad because of it and I cant say all my life has turned out crap because of my drug experiences. On the contrary it has changed my life dramatically in many ways and if it werent for that I may never have got to Peru. Your right though, I still get prickles up the back of my neck when I here certain 'tunes'. Thats only one musical part of my life, theres always been music for everything, I dont know what i;d do without it. Theres no way i;d even listen to that kind of music unless I where in a club or off my head on something.
Im the same when it somes to beer as well. It tastes like s*** and just makes me act like a nob. It doesnt mix to well with my meth either, so i dont bother, it just doesnt suit me.
Whereabouts in S.Africa. Ooohhh Hang on, are you trying to tell me something here? This'll sound bloody stupid, but are you black??????
Your right about the sunshine helping you, I cant say Ive ever tried doing my rip in a really sunny place. Its not the withdrawals that get me, its the no sleep thing. At the moment Im sleeping a lot, apparently its depression but it feels lovely and all nice and warm and safe in my smelly bed! Cant imagine life without sleeping. I really feel like im going to go crazy once ive been for more than 2 nights without any.Its bloody scary as well. I think a lot of my bad vibes about doing my rip again come from when i was in Siberia. It was as if I could feel the vibe eminating from the Siberian city and people where I was staying. This place had an evil undercurrent and the people emitted a desperate, dangerous vibration. It sounds wierd saying this now but to be stuck a million miles away from home in this post Soviet concrete jungle, doing your rip without any help or care from anyone took a big chunk out of my confidence.
RRight from LLaneli, you'll probably have to go to Bristol and then up to Manchester-Bolton. Its pretty far that and will cost around..what?maybe 50-60 quid I reckon.
Tell me diffy, what do you usually do with yourself. Are you working or anything?
IM still here and ill wait for you to get back to me :)
in a bit
xxxxxxxxx
No, I'm not black...My fathers family were forced out of South Africa by the apartheid government in the late 50's. My grandfather (Oupa) was Secretary General of an steelworkers union (sort of like Arthur Scargill, but nice). He worked in the steelworks as a wages clerk. He used this position to implement changes, to improve the pay and conditions of the black workers. This was very unpopular with the government, who banned the union, making it illegal to be a member. This didn't deter my Oupa, who continued his work towards equality, until the lives of his family were under threat. Then they packed what they could, into 52 pieces of luggage, and boarded a boat for the UK. It's only since Mandela (who was a personal friend of my Oupa's) was released that they were able to return the their home country. Oupa died recently, happy that he lived to see his lifes work come to fruition. I loved him dearly, and miss him much. The world lost a hero when that man died, and I'm proud to call myself his grandaughter, but don't feel I deserve his name.
That's quite put me off what I was gonna say. I'm gonna have to think and come back!
love
diff
That's quite put me off what I was gonna say. I'm gonna have to think and come back!
love
diff
h-g,
No, we dont have Cinnamen toast crunch here but we do have Sugar Puffs, do you have them? I was skint last week so I had to survive on them alone.Ate full box in a day once. Only bad thing about them is that they smell like pee, once you mix them with milk!?
What about cadburys creme eggs? Theyre like these little eggs the same size as a chicken egg which have this creme fondent inside. If you make a little hole at the top and one at the bottom you can suck out the creme. When you pick up your meth our chemist also gives away as many as you want of these for free, as long as they dont see you taking them.
Interesting?
No, we dont have Cinnamen toast crunch here but we do have Sugar Puffs, do you have them? I was skint last week so I had to survive on them alone.Ate full box in a day once. Only bad thing about them is that they smell like pee, once you mix them with milk!?
What about cadburys creme eggs? Theyre like these little eggs the same size as a chicken egg which have this creme fondent inside. If you make a little hole at the top and one at the bottom you can suck out the creme. When you pick up your meth our chemist also gives away as many as you want of these for free, as long as they dont see you taking them.
Interesting?
Your Oupa sounds like a great guy, I wish I could say I had some famous relatives. Mine are all from the Ukraine and came over to the UK at the end of the 2nd world war. My mum was born in a concentration camp in Germany and her father is a one night stand Russian soldier.
All theyve ever known is hard graft and poverty.Imagine how they must picture me, a drug addict living on goverment handouts.
My grandma, on my dads side died of cancer just before xmas. Just before she died I sat with her while she went through all her old photographs from back home in the Ukraine. I didnt realise how big my family is and the crazy thing is that now theres only me left that knows who and where they are.
Diff, dont put yourself down just because your into gear, its not the end of the world. Thats bollocks what people say about not being able to trust a smack head because ive met one or two that havent been corrupted, me being one of them. Its the drug thats bad not you. Sometimes I have thought a bit like that but no matter how s*** I think I am, theres always a light in the distance and some striength in my heart. Do you feel like this?
Diffy how old are you?
I was wondering because im feeling a bit guilty that I havent provided my family with kids yet. If I dont then our name will stop here.
Im going to go to bed in a bit, so i'll hang on for you ok.
All theyve ever known is hard graft and poverty.Imagine how they must picture me, a drug addict living on goverment handouts.
My grandma, on my dads side died of cancer just before xmas. Just before she died I sat with her while she went through all her old photographs from back home in the Ukraine. I didnt realise how big my family is and the crazy thing is that now theres only me left that knows who and where they are.
Diff, dont put yourself down just because your into gear, its not the end of the world. Thats bollocks what people say about not being able to trust a smack head because ive met one or two that havent been corrupted, me being one of them. Its the drug thats bad not you. Sometimes I have thought a bit like that but no matter how s*** I think I am, theres always a light in the distance and some striength in my heart. Do you feel like this?
Diffy how old are you?
I was wondering because im feeling a bit guilty that I havent provided my family with kids yet. If I dont then our name will stop here.
Im going to go to bed in a bit, so i'll hang on for you ok.
s*** that sounds bad, asking you how old you are and then saying Ive no wife and kids in the next sentence. Didnt mean it like that. :)
Ok, You asked what I do with myself. I haven't worked in a while. To be honest, I haven't got much of a work ethic. I wish I did! I don't think I'm lazy, but I just can't see the point. I will eventually have to get a job, but it's gonna be a short-term prospect. I just want to earn my airfare to J-Bay. Jeffries Bay, not far from Port Elizabeth on the Southern coast of Africa. I have family in Pretoria also. Well, I've got family and places to stay all over, except in the very north, by Kruger Park. When I go there, It's a case of bedding down with the lions. They have these very posh tents you can stay in at the park.
When I get out to South Africa I'll have to get a job, but it will probably be a bar job, which out there isn't much like work. I've smoked many a J with bar staff in the beach restaurants and bars out there.
When I was on the gear, I was working for various dealers, but eventually remained faithful to one, running the gear up from Bristol. I got paid enough to keep me and the b/f in gear and a little left over, and I always had juice in the car. I didn't have time to hold down a job. I'm at a bit of a loose end at the moment. I've been thinking about voluntary work, something outdoors. It hasn't been worth my while going to work coz the b/f gets good money, with his dla and everything. I'm gonna try and keep my income support and carers allowance when I move out, coz I'm still gonna be his full-time carer. But even I'm allowed some time off.
I haven't felt ready to go back to work mentally. Things have been a bit "delicate" for me recently. I have a mental illness, or disorder, and apparantly I have it quite severely. I've recently started taking tablets again for it, and they are totally doping me out. I'm gouching all day off them. I don't think I'm up to a full days work yet. I was offered a job a while back, as a manager in a frozen meat packing company. 70 hr weeks in subzero temps with a load of frozen dead cows for company? I don't think so! Anyway, I'm vegetarian! I'm on IS now, so I don't even have to pretend to look for a job.
I'd love to come up for longer, and maybe in the future I will, but I've got my dog to consider. He's more paranoid than I am, and he won't let anybody else walk him apart from me, and he needs his walks. I can leave him for a couple of days, but not any longer. I really do need a break and some good company, so I'm really wanting to do this. I can get a few days of sub take homes, so my script won't be a problem.
See ya in a bit
love
diff
When I get out to South Africa I'll have to get a job, but it will probably be a bar job, which out there isn't much like work. I've smoked many a J with bar staff in the beach restaurants and bars out there.
When I was on the gear, I was working for various dealers, but eventually remained faithful to one, running the gear up from Bristol. I got paid enough to keep me and the b/f in gear and a little left over, and I always had juice in the car. I didn't have time to hold down a job. I'm at a bit of a loose end at the moment. I've been thinking about voluntary work, something outdoors. It hasn't been worth my while going to work coz the b/f gets good money, with his dla and everything. I'm gonna try and keep my income support and carers allowance when I move out, coz I'm still gonna be his full-time carer. But even I'm allowed some time off.
I haven't felt ready to go back to work mentally. Things have been a bit "delicate" for me recently. I have a mental illness, or disorder, and apparantly I have it quite severely. I've recently started taking tablets again for it, and they are totally doping me out. I'm gouching all day off them. I don't think I'm up to a full days work yet. I was offered a job a while back, as a manager in a frozen meat packing company. 70 hr weeks in subzero temps with a load of frozen dead cows for company? I don't think so! Anyway, I'm vegetarian! I'm on IS now, so I don't even have to pretend to look for a job.
I'd love to come up for longer, and maybe in the future I will, but I've got my dog to consider. He's more paranoid than I am, and he won't let anybody else walk him apart from me, and he needs his walks. I can leave him for a couple of days, but not any longer. I really do need a break and some good company, so I'm really wanting to do this. I can get a few days of sub take homes, so my script won't be a problem.
See ya in a bit
love
diff
I'm 32 Paul. And my family name has died with his generation because my grandfather only had sisters, and although my father has a brother who has 3 children, and I am one of 3, we are all girls. Fortunately, my sister, realising this, kept her name even when she married. Well, she has a double-barrelled surname, so her kids carry the name on, and she does have a son, but that was 3rd time lucky (she has two older girls). I suppose it's all bollocks really ,but I was mortified when I realised the name was dying out. I do want to have kids, and my kids will carry my name, coz there's no way I'm getting married again.
I'm going to bed shortly, so I'll catch you soon, OK?
love
diff
I'm going to bed shortly, so I'll catch you soon, OK?
love
diff
