hiya girls,
no-way, youve got me pissing my sides laughing here T, are you pulling our legs or what? I'll never mention it again,ooooooooo-weeeee.
hey h-g I dont get that thing about your name being Christina, is it or not then? I was thinking about this name thing last night and I agree with what you told me Teen and to step pestering you about it. But I do have a last question about it....I was wondering whether it was because your dad might have warned you not to give out your name over the computer..right or no?
I had a look for the Appulacian mountains last night. wow, looks great have you ever seen a twister? ive never met anyone from the middle of the US before. The only Americans and Canadians ive met were at Uni and they were not normal everyday guys.
Aw, damn man time out already
ok, im going to see a man about a dog and then finish in the other library later.
laters.
luv Pauly xxxxxxxxxxxxx
woooooo, I can hear the wind rattling around the corners of this part of the message board, it feels like one of those little towns in the middle of the Appulacian mountains, where no-one ever goes and that thing from Jeepers Creepers lives.
Ive just had a look round at the other posts on this message board but theres none that I really want to stick my nose in and pretend im a good samaritan. Its more for people who have given up are trying to, so I know where to come when the time comes, which is going to be soon by the way my lifes going. Im keeping my fingers crossed today that everything will go right.
Just wanted to say that im so glad I came here in the first place coz ive met some excellent people, you know who you are.
I'm still wondering who you are and everything h-g and from where you live youve godda be a red-indian right? I was wondering also about those people who your staying with there, your step family isnt it? what kind of business do they do there, are they farmers or something?
oh and another question....what sort of music do you like listening to?
Well, looks like its time to go out into the rain again,
oh, when someone says theyre going to go and see a man about a dog, it means theyre going scoring or up to no good.
Smiles to anyone who still lookz on here,
luv from Ruski xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Ive just had a look round at the other posts on this message board but theres none that I really want to stick my nose in and pretend im a good samaritan. Its more for people who have given up are trying to, so I know where to come when the time comes, which is going to be soon by the way my lifes going. Im keeping my fingers crossed today that everything will go right.
Just wanted to say that im so glad I came here in the first place coz ive met some excellent people, you know who you are.
I'm still wondering who you are and everything h-g and from where you live youve godda be a red-indian right? I was wondering also about those people who your staying with there, your step family isnt it? what kind of business do they do there, are they farmers or something?
oh and another question....what sort of music do you like listening to?
Well, looks like its time to go out into the rain again,
oh, when someone says theyre going to go and see a man about a dog, it means theyre going scoring or up to no good.
Smiles to anyone who still lookz on here,
luv from Ruski xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hie Pauly:
I think your day will go just fine sweetheart,your a wonderful person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise ya here?I also think my life is going to be just fine and I too will keep my finger's,toe's and everything else I can possible cross,crossed so the remaining of my day's will be happy ones,it depend's on me and the person I want to be spending the remaining of my day's with,cause only us two can make our happiness,happy if you know what I mean.
Just wanted to say,hi to you and to everyone else here I'v come to care about,HI EVERYONE,from your friend T
I think your day will go just fine sweetheart,your a wonderful person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise ya here?I also think my life is going to be just fine and I too will keep my finger's,toe's and everything else I can possible cross,crossed so the remaining of my day's will be happy ones,it depend's on me and the person I want to be spending the remaining of my day's with,cause only us two can make our happiness,happy if you know what I mean.
Just wanted to say,hi to you and to everyone else here I'v come to care about,HI EVERYONE,from your friend T
Pauly,
What's going on darlin'? Yes, the wind is awful now. I live only 3mi from a ski resort (where my stepmother is an instructor) and yesterday we got another 5" of snow! I live on top of a hill and the wind always blows. Burrrrhhh, it's cold! Looks like Siberia out there now.
Yes, my father, whom I have not really ever known since he left when I was small, told me not to post personal information on here. I am living with him for the first time since I was 10 or 11 yrs old. It's soooo hard. We are complete opposites. Although, I would not mind you or Teena knowing, since y'all are so curious. How about a hint? This will be fun. You know the Jets, the Aussie band? Well, my name is in one of their songs. (are you gonna be my girl?) It's the first time I've ever heard my name in a song before, because it's so unusual.
Anyway, any good hacker could find my information I'm sure.
I need to get out of this town. I'm thinking of visiting a friend of mine who lives in North Carolina. Maybe a long weekend. At least now I have some security, getting my check from school. Makes me want to disappear and start over someplace else. Like New York.
Actually Appalachia is not in the mid-U.S. but only about a 5-6 hour drive to the east coast. About 10 hours from New York. It's very rural. We have 4 big dogs that stay outside, 1 inside dog, 2 inside cats, and 4 outside cats, and 2 horses. We have a 4-wheeler (you know, an ATV?) . Kids actually ride them down the highways up here. It's such a hick town. I miss home. I'm from south of here. The closest big cities are D.C. (5 and a half hrs), Baltimore (5-6 hours), and Pittsburg (5-6hours). There's not much gear around this town at all. It's unfortunately (or fortunate, depending on point of view) a coke town. And f*ck that, you know. There's alot of methadone abuse. A lot of overdoses on it. And oxycontin. That's a big deal here.
It's very cool that our addiction has brought us (you, me, T, Gabs) together for something good. I really like Diff, too. You should chat her up sometime, she's got some kind of moxy about her. Do you see anyone? Or go to meetings? I used to go to some meetings, but.....you know.
I hope you can reply before tomorrow, but I'm betting with it being Friday and all that you'll be busy. So, my ruski friend, have a good weekend!
Freezing my a** off here,
h-girl
P.S. Oh yes, one more hint: I used to work with several Egyptians, and this one guy used to call me 'Bellaha'. He said it was my name in Arabic/Egyptian. But he was pervert so there's a possibility that he was lying. I never checked. Also, I have not been proofing my posts, so it's possible the grammar or spelling is off a little. Don't take it that I'm an ignorant hick, o.k.?
What's going on darlin'? Yes, the wind is awful now. I live only 3mi from a ski resort (where my stepmother is an instructor) and yesterday we got another 5" of snow! I live on top of a hill and the wind always blows. Burrrrhhh, it's cold! Looks like Siberia out there now.
Yes, my father, whom I have not really ever known since he left when I was small, told me not to post personal information on here. I am living with him for the first time since I was 10 or 11 yrs old. It's soooo hard. We are complete opposites. Although, I would not mind you or Teena knowing, since y'all are so curious. How about a hint? This will be fun. You know the Jets, the Aussie band? Well, my name is in one of their songs. (are you gonna be my girl?) It's the first time I've ever heard my name in a song before, because it's so unusual.
Anyway, any good hacker could find my information I'm sure.
I need to get out of this town. I'm thinking of visiting a friend of mine who lives in North Carolina. Maybe a long weekend. At least now I have some security, getting my check from school. Makes me want to disappear and start over someplace else. Like New York.
Actually Appalachia is not in the mid-U.S. but only about a 5-6 hour drive to the east coast. About 10 hours from New York. It's very rural. We have 4 big dogs that stay outside, 1 inside dog, 2 inside cats, and 4 outside cats, and 2 horses. We have a 4-wheeler (you know, an ATV?) . Kids actually ride them down the highways up here. It's such a hick town. I miss home. I'm from south of here. The closest big cities are D.C. (5 and a half hrs), Baltimore (5-6 hours), and Pittsburg (5-6hours). There's not much gear around this town at all. It's unfortunately (or fortunate, depending on point of view) a coke town. And f*ck that, you know. There's alot of methadone abuse. A lot of overdoses on it. And oxycontin. That's a big deal here.
It's very cool that our addiction has brought us (you, me, T, Gabs) together for something good. I really like Diff, too. You should chat her up sometime, she's got some kind of moxy about her. Do you see anyone? Or go to meetings? I used to go to some meetings, but.....you know.
I hope you can reply before tomorrow, but I'm betting with it being Friday and all that you'll be busy. So, my ruski friend, have a good weekend!
Freezing my a** off here,
h-girl
P.S. Oh yes, one more hint: I used to work with several Egyptians, and this one guy used to call me 'Bellaha'. He said it was my name in Arabic/Egyptian. But he was pervert so there's a possibility that he was lying. I never checked. Also, I have not been proofing my posts, so it's possible the grammar or spelling is off a little. Don't take it that I'm an ignorant hick, o.k.?
Teena (and Paul),
How are ya? Is it cold up there? I, myself, am ready for summertime. What music do y'all listen to? I listen to everything really. Except for country music and most rap. Rock and roll, alternative. They're my favorites. There's this band out of Atlanta that a friend turned me on to. These two guys met in rehab, one an addict; one an alcoholic. The band is called Rehab ;) Y'all should check them out. Listen to "Sittin' in a Bar", "Hey Fred", "Drinkin' Problem", and "It Don't Matter" first. "Crazy People" is good, too. I love Jane's Addiction, the Chili Peppers, Tool, Stone Temple Pilots, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Sublime, Beck, all that old alternative sh*t. And the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, the Steve Miller Band, the Who, Hendrix, Janis J, Steppenwolf, and even Elton John's old stuff. With me, anything goes. How about you's guys?
I hate to have to run, but work calls. I'll write back tonight. Hope your day is a good one. xxx's and ooo's- h-girl.
How are ya? Is it cold up there? I, myself, am ready for summertime. What music do y'all listen to? I listen to everything really. Except for country music and most rap. Rock and roll, alternative. They're my favorites. There's this band out of Atlanta that a friend turned me on to. These two guys met in rehab, one an addict; one an alcoholic. The band is called Rehab ;) Y'all should check them out. Listen to "Sittin' in a Bar", "Hey Fred", "Drinkin' Problem", and "It Don't Matter" first. "Crazy People" is good, too. I love Jane's Addiction, the Chili Peppers, Tool, Stone Temple Pilots, Nirvana, Soundgarden, Sublime, Beck, all that old alternative sh*t. And the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, the Steve Miller Band, the Who, Hendrix, Janis J, Steppenwolf, and even Elton John's old stuff. With me, anything goes. How about you's guys?
I hate to have to run, but work calls. I'll write back tonight. Hope your day is a good one. xxx's and ooo's- h-girl.
Hi ladies! I've been hovering...reading all the posts. Hope you girls are hanging in there. Is sunny here in Seattle today but the rain is a comin! Tonight I'm spending another night of poker playing...i dont play...i hang out and watch...my family and their friends blood is way too rich for me! Have a great friday!
Rusty-
Too damn funny!! I've been asking you if you've gotten "a dog" yet for weeks...lol...today I thought "he keeps seeing these men for a dog but he never brings one home" lol... sorry, i should have asked. ;-) Have fun and stay out of trouble!
San-
Rusty-
Too damn funny!! I've been asking you if you've gotten "a dog" yet for weeks...lol...today I thought "he keeps seeing these men for a dog but he never brings one home" lol... sorry, i should have asked. ;-) Have fun and stay out of trouble!
San-
Hi sweet pea H-Girl:
You didn't say anything about my name I wrote to you my real greek name.I wrote it on the 2nd page of this post it's the last one so check it out ok and give me some feed back.
I gotta go get my meth now so see ya'll later on tonite,ok.
Hello there Sandy sweety,how are you babes,where have you been,what's wrong,hope everything is ok?Write to us please good or bad I'm here for you,ok?
Your friend for alway's Teena
You didn't say anything about my name I wrote to you my real greek name.I wrote it on the 2nd page of this post it's the last one so check it out ok and give me some feed back.
I gotta go get my meth now so see ya'll later on tonite,ok.
Hello there Sandy sweety,how are you babes,where have you been,what's wrong,hope everything is ok?Write to us please good or bad I'm here for you,ok?
Your friend for alway's Teena
Teena and Sandy, Hey there sweethearts!
How is everything today? I am glad to hear that you've had some sunshine, Sandy. I imagine that you get tons of rain up there. But Seattle must be such a cool city, I'm sure there's always plenty of stuff to do. What are your favorite things to do in the city? What's the music scene like? (I can't even fathom the great music and all the clubs where some amazing bands have got their starts!)
Teena, darlin', I'm sorry I forgot to give you some feedback on your name. It's beautiful! Why would you EVER want to be called anything else?!?!? Areti. I would take it in a second! Lovely!
On the other hand, Valenteena is very pretty as well. This man, was it an amazing affair? Do tell.....
Sandy, how's the detox going? I guess you're totally off now, right? Well, hell yeah!!!! I am sooo in awe of you. That's great.
Ladies, I am being run off the computer here so I will have to catch up to you later. Hugs, not drugs- h-girl (Joking there)
How is everything today? I am glad to hear that you've had some sunshine, Sandy. I imagine that you get tons of rain up there. But Seattle must be such a cool city, I'm sure there's always plenty of stuff to do. What are your favorite things to do in the city? What's the music scene like? (I can't even fathom the great music and all the clubs where some amazing bands have got their starts!)
Teena, darlin', I'm sorry I forgot to give you some feedback on your name. It's beautiful! Why would you EVER want to be called anything else?!?!? Areti. I would take it in a second! Lovely!
On the other hand, Valenteena is very pretty as well. This man, was it an amazing affair? Do tell.....
Sandy, how's the detox going? I guess you're totally off now, right? Well, hell yeah!!!! I am sooo in awe of you. That's great.
Ladies, I am being run off the computer here so I will have to catch up to you later. Hugs, not drugs- h-girl (Joking there)
Alright Areti,Speckled-pup and hoverfly and anyone else,
I wasnt expecting anyone to have posted here, so im glad that your all still alive.
I know that Jets song, its not bad and i'll go and find the lyrics after ive done this. H-g, youve got a good taste in music, I'm into all those bands as well. Manchester is a great place to be if your into that kind of sound as Liverpool the home of the Beatles isnt far off and Manchester has had loads of great musicians. You cant escape music & fashion round here, everyone is into it.
nah im not into rap that much either but I like reggae.
Theres some early rap thats alright like run DMC, Mc Tunes, Dj Kool, beasty boys, oh and cypress hill, funkdoobiest but Im not into stuff about bitches & hoes though.
Seattle sounds ok to me as well, its well far isnt it.Maybe I just like it coz its on the other side of the world and it sounds like an adventurous place to be but all the places you guys come from sound cool to me. H-g sounds like you come from one of those places where theres alien abductions. Im not into snow and ski-ing anymore after Siberia.
Its hard to say whether I think any of your names are cool or not coz I need a face to put with it then i'll know. Shakesphere said 'If a rose were not called a rose, would it still not smell so sweet'
Ive never heard of of that Oxycontin, whats that ?, but remember not to tell how to get it or you'll get told off again! slapped hands!!!!! hahaha.
What do you mean by saying I aught to chat Diff up sometime, is that what I do?
Sorry I didnt get round to coming on yesterday but it wasnt coz I was busy or anything. Its just that ive been coming round to my parents everyday so i need to give them a rest for a few days. you know, they spoil me and stuff when I come round so I dont want to make it seem im going round just for that. But, whatever I was thinking about you all as usual. Its mad i'm thinking about one person or another on here even when I wake up in the middle of the night.
As far as going see men about dogs, im not doing too well this week and I think there was only one day when I didnt score something or other. Its not even as if I have to ask and when I go round to my mates they automatically prepare things with me in mind. I know I could always say no.
h-g are you still doing college work as well as selling knickers?
Dont worry about your spelling and grammer, it doesnt look like anyone else on here does.
we have hicks here as well but theyre called 5-amps(tramps) or simply just scrubbers. ive got room to talk im not exactly your normal model everyday citizen.
Thought I was right about your dad telling you not to post any personal stuff, I suppose hes right, you never know what dodgy kind of drug addict people could be watching !
ok, goota go now coz foods ready and then we're going to watch Resident Evil 2 and Che Guvaras motorcycle diarys. I REALLY wish all you guys were here with us as well.
laters sweet peas(my god all you guys say some strange things)
luv ya all loads, girlfriends
Pauly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I wasnt expecting anyone to have posted here, so im glad that your all still alive.
I know that Jets song, its not bad and i'll go and find the lyrics after ive done this. H-g, youve got a good taste in music, I'm into all those bands as well. Manchester is a great place to be if your into that kind of sound as Liverpool the home of the Beatles isnt far off and Manchester has had loads of great musicians. You cant escape music & fashion round here, everyone is into it.
nah im not into rap that much either but I like reggae.
Theres some early rap thats alright like run DMC, Mc Tunes, Dj Kool, beasty boys, oh and cypress hill, funkdoobiest but Im not into stuff about bitches & hoes though.
Seattle sounds ok to me as well, its well far isnt it.Maybe I just like it coz its on the other side of the world and it sounds like an adventurous place to be but all the places you guys come from sound cool to me. H-g sounds like you come from one of those places where theres alien abductions. Im not into snow and ski-ing anymore after Siberia.
Its hard to say whether I think any of your names are cool or not coz I need a face to put with it then i'll know. Shakesphere said 'If a rose were not called a rose, would it still not smell so sweet'
Ive never heard of of that Oxycontin, whats that ?, but remember not to tell how to get it or you'll get told off again! slapped hands!!!!! hahaha.
What do you mean by saying I aught to chat Diff up sometime, is that what I do?
Sorry I didnt get round to coming on yesterday but it wasnt coz I was busy or anything. Its just that ive been coming round to my parents everyday so i need to give them a rest for a few days. you know, they spoil me and stuff when I come round so I dont want to make it seem im going round just for that. But, whatever I was thinking about you all as usual. Its mad i'm thinking about one person or another on here even when I wake up in the middle of the night.
As far as going see men about dogs, im not doing too well this week and I think there was only one day when I didnt score something or other. Its not even as if I have to ask and when I go round to my mates they automatically prepare things with me in mind. I know I could always say no.
h-g are you still doing college work as well as selling knickers?
Dont worry about your spelling and grammer, it doesnt look like anyone else on here does.
we have hicks here as well but theyre called 5-amps(tramps) or simply just scrubbers. ive got room to talk im not exactly your normal model everyday citizen.
Thought I was right about your dad telling you not to post any personal stuff, I suppose hes right, you never know what dodgy kind of drug addict people could be watching !
ok, goota go now coz foods ready and then we're going to watch Resident Evil 2 and Che Guvaras motorcycle diarys. I REALLY wish all you guys were here with us as well.
laters sweet peas(my god all you guys say some strange things)
luv ya all loads, girlfriends
Pauly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Hiya again, just having a 'butty'(sandwich)break and a 'fag'(smoke) stop as well.
wotchoo onabout h-g theres no girls names in 'wanna be my girl'. ohhh durr! in 'one of their songs'. oh, ill look again then. you mentioned that band 'rehab' what kind of music is it? wouldnt mind a copy of that. As ive got older my music tastes have mellowed a bit and even though I used to be a punk, my music is very much more chilled thesedays. My favourite band are called 'The Trash can sinatras', theyre from Scotland but are supposed to be more wll known in th US than here.
Have you managed to get out of there this weekend? Does your dad not give you a hard time about going away alone? Just out of interest how old are you because you never said.
ok, foods here back later.
all my love to Teen, h-g, San
from Pauly in England where its just began to bloody snow?! bit late or what?
see ya.
wotchoo onabout h-g theres no girls names in 'wanna be my girl'. ohhh durr! in 'one of their songs'. oh, ill look again then. you mentioned that band 'rehab' what kind of music is it? wouldnt mind a copy of that. As ive got older my music tastes have mellowed a bit and even though I used to be a punk, my music is very much more chilled thesedays. My favourite band are called 'The Trash can sinatras', theyre from Scotland but are supposed to be more wll known in th US than here.
Have you managed to get out of there this weekend? Does your dad not give you a hard time about going away alone? Just out of interest how old are you because you never said.
ok, foods here back later.
all my love to Teen, h-g, San
from Pauly in England where its just began to bloody snow?! bit late or what?
see ya.
Hey Pauly Baby:
How's my favorite guy besides my son of course?I hope your day's are better next week,cause I don't like to hear that one of the person's I'v gotten to care alot about on here is having bad day's,I know there not bad to you,but you know what I mean.
You say we have a way of saying some freaky s^!t well honey you make me smile everytime I read one of your post's or e-mail's,personaly I like your e-mail's,wink,wink,loll.
I have been answering some post's and I just gave s*** to one who think's,oh well go look for yourselves it's pretty nervebreaking and I don't want to get pumped up again so go look at "anyone sober out there "by johanne,ok.
Pauly baby you should go see some post's that Diff,and Raerae write there fantastic they are the reason I stuck around last yr when I first came to this board,in my book their allright.
Love you's all and Sandy where are you,how come you don't come here,though I'v chated with you everywhere else but you don't come around here no more.I gotta go get my daughter's from a friend's house she came and took them to give me a break and the baby is at his godmom's so I slept all day long,I needed that,boy I'm ready to conqure the world now,loll.
I'll be back in about a few min.over and out,my 20 is montreal what's your's,loll.
Teena
How's my favorite guy besides my son of course?I hope your day's are better next week,cause I don't like to hear that one of the person's I'v gotten to care alot about on here is having bad day's,I know there not bad to you,but you know what I mean.
You say we have a way of saying some freaky s^!t well honey you make me smile everytime I read one of your post's or e-mail's,personaly I like your e-mail's,wink,wink,loll.
I have been answering some post's and I just gave s*** to one who think's,oh well go look for yourselves it's pretty nervebreaking and I don't want to get pumped up again so go look at "anyone sober out there "by johanne,ok.
Pauly baby you should go see some post's that Diff,and Raerae write there fantastic they are the reason I stuck around last yr when I first came to this board,in my book their allright.
Love you's all and Sandy where are you,how come you don't come here,though I'v chated with you everywhere else but you don't come around here no more.I gotta go get my daughter's from a friend's house she came and took them to give me a break and the baby is at his godmom's so I slept all day long,I needed that,boy I'm ready to conqure the world now,loll.
I'll be back in about a few min.over and out,my 20 is montreal what's your's,loll.
Teena
evenin all,
I must be a rubbish hacker because i just spent the last half an hour looking at the lyrics of every jet song and didnt see anything that even slightly resembles a name. All I noticed is that almost every song shares a similar theme..............???
give us another clue..
Pauly xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I must be a rubbish hacker because i just spent the last half an hour looking at the lyrics of every jet song and didnt see anything that even slightly resembles a name. All I noticed is that almost every song shares a similar theme..............???
give us another clue..
Pauly xxxxxxxxxxxxx
You guys are gonna make me cry! You know this board is the only place I go where I actually feel wanted. I've really been thinking recently that people only bother with me for what I can do for them. I'm cursed with being a car owner (I have an R-reg Mondeo which is completely shagged, due to being repeatedly driven up and down the f***ing M4 to Bristol 4 times a week) and a lot of people want me to drive them places. I feel that no body would bother with me if I wasn't useful to them in some way. But when I come here, I don't have to pretend to be anything other than who I am, and you guys make me feel like I'm enough.
I've just been catching up on all your posts and I feel like I've got to know a few new "faces" (even though I have to imagine what they look like). I did read your whole saga, Paul, and I was totally fascinated. I have a fascination with snow-bound wildernesses, ever since I read William T. Vollmann's The Ice Shirt. Vollmann invented my most favourite slang term for junkies. The IV League. Isn't it a peach?
Am I right saying that we are in the main Gemini's here? People tell me I'm a typical Gemini but I don't know. I have great difficulty in assessing my own character. People with BPD often find it impossible to "know" themselves, and I'm no exception. We tend to be what other people want us to be. That's what's so good here. I can't do that, coz I've no real idea of how any of you would want me to be, so I guess you get a pretty honest look at what I'm really like. Not that I'm any good at figuring out what that is, but you guys can, and you still like me, so I can't be all that terrible.
Oh, and I'm probably being thick here, but what do you mean by "moxy". I've never heard that word. I hope it isn't contagious.
And Paul, sweetheart, you can chat me up any time you like babe! You're probably the closest person geographically to me, and that's kind of comforting. I feel like you really exist, in the same timezone, and not some parallel universe somewhere. And Gabbi.
The b/f (or ex b/f) is annoying me. He's been nagging at me to ring the bloke I've been shagging (but the b/f doesn't know that) to get gear. I ain't doing it. I'm settling back down on my subs again now. I only took 16mgs today and I'm feelin' fine. I've got a drug test on Thursday, which I'm determined to pass, coz I've been avoiding my drug worker for the past few weeks and I can't miss this appt. I'm not going to let him f*** things up for me now. I'm desperate to move out. I'm gonna ring these bond scheme people tomorrow, and they will hopefully get me a little flat with an assured bond. Man, I'm so looking forward to getting out of here. And to think I was so fearful. To think I thought I couldn't do it alone! This is certainly the best move I've ever made. I have to start again completely from scratch, but I'll get the b/f to apply for a grant for me. I can't get one in my own name coz my IS is in his name. I'll trawl the charity furniture outlets and pawn shops and I reckon I can get everything I need for less than 500. And I'll be free! Man, I'm getting Gaterush! I'm gonna celebrate bigtime!
Gotta go!
love
diff
xox
I've just been catching up on all your posts and I feel like I've got to know a few new "faces" (even though I have to imagine what they look like). I did read your whole saga, Paul, and I was totally fascinated. I have a fascination with snow-bound wildernesses, ever since I read William T. Vollmann's The Ice Shirt. Vollmann invented my most favourite slang term for junkies. The IV League. Isn't it a peach?
Am I right saying that we are in the main Gemini's here? People tell me I'm a typical Gemini but I don't know. I have great difficulty in assessing my own character. People with BPD often find it impossible to "know" themselves, and I'm no exception. We tend to be what other people want us to be. That's what's so good here. I can't do that, coz I've no real idea of how any of you would want me to be, so I guess you get a pretty honest look at what I'm really like. Not that I'm any good at figuring out what that is, but you guys can, and you still like me, so I can't be all that terrible.
Oh, and I'm probably being thick here, but what do you mean by "moxy". I've never heard that word. I hope it isn't contagious.
And Paul, sweetheart, you can chat me up any time you like babe! You're probably the closest person geographically to me, and that's kind of comforting. I feel like you really exist, in the same timezone, and not some parallel universe somewhere. And Gabbi.
The b/f (or ex b/f) is annoying me. He's been nagging at me to ring the bloke I've been shagging (but the b/f doesn't know that) to get gear. I ain't doing it. I'm settling back down on my subs again now. I only took 16mgs today and I'm feelin' fine. I've got a drug test on Thursday, which I'm determined to pass, coz I've been avoiding my drug worker for the past few weeks and I can't miss this appt. I'm not going to let him f*** things up for me now. I'm desperate to move out. I'm gonna ring these bond scheme people tomorrow, and they will hopefully get me a little flat with an assured bond. Man, I'm so looking forward to getting out of here. And to think I was so fearful. To think I thought I couldn't do it alone! This is certainly the best move I've ever made. I have to start again completely from scratch, but I'll get the b/f to apply for a grant for me. I can't get one in my own name coz my IS is in his name. I'll trawl the charity furniture outlets and pawn shops and I reckon I can get everything I need for less than 500. And I'll be free! Man, I'm getting Gaterush! I'm gonna celebrate bigtime!
Gotta go!
love
diff
xox
Paul, the ruski,
Hey sweetie, how're you doin'? (That's what I might sound like in person). I have been busy with school work and selling knickers. We have been super-busy with Valentine's Day and all. Yuck ! Love!
I am 25 yrs old. And soon I'll be 26. F*ck, where do the years go? Did you check out the astrology sites? The last guy I was involved with was a gemini. It turned out pretty bad. I think he had really developed the negative traits of gemini and had none of the positive ones. He was so self-absorbed. Very superficial. On the other hand, we got along great sometimes. Good chemistry, you know? Laughed alot. He came by work yesterday to see me. It was a little awkward after what all happened. I don't think all geminis are like that. I hope not. You're not, are you Paul?
Ummm, what else? I can give you some facts. I'm kinda tall for a chick, almost 5' 9'' . I am on the thin side. I have dark skin (from the Native American blood, almost a quarter). Long, straight dark red hair. Light blue eyes. I have no facial piercings. Just ears and belly. And I've got several tattoos. I love them. I am going soon to get another. I want to get my mom's name on my arm (the soft part between your wrist and elbow) in that nice writing, calligraphy i think it's called. Since her name is Donna, it's gonna say Bella Donna with the flower from that plant. I still got to draw it out, but you get the idea. Mom is in New Orleans with my stepdad for their anniversary today. She just called.
Paul, you've got to download some Rehab. It's awesome. Listen to the words. Here's an example: (from "It Don't Matter")
Sittin' in traffic
another day of feeling nothing
tryin' to find something
I guess it's back to huffing
Paint and model glue
How I die when I look at you smilin'
last night and all I know is blue
Rainy days and cold stares
broken love affairs
eveything's beautiful
as long as I ain't there
I guess I wasn't meant to crack a smile
who cares? i think i'll go to sleep for awhile
I'm merely living in my skin
depression's my only friend
And I don't know where I'm goin'
tryin' to forget where I've been
That one's a little sad but the others are upbeat. Without art and music, my life would be so grey. I'm gonna check out that Sinatra group you were talking about. I wish you lived closer, you know? All of us. It's been hard lately, cravings and such. I am having the strangest dreams about blow. Then I'll think about that all day, and I HATE that drug. How can I stop it? The obsession? F*cked up sh*t.
I never did escape this weekend. I had to work. Wishful thinking I guess. I hope to have a friend of mine come up in about 2 weeks to visit. That would be nice, someone from home. The people in this town are so off. Not like home. or y'all.
Well I will be checking tonight to see if you've been on or not. Take care, darlin'. There's only one Ruski-Paul.
missing home,
h-girl
Hey sweetie, how're you doin'? (That's what I might sound like in person). I have been busy with school work and selling knickers. We have been super-busy with Valentine's Day and all. Yuck ! Love!
I am 25 yrs old. And soon I'll be 26. F*ck, where do the years go? Did you check out the astrology sites? The last guy I was involved with was a gemini. It turned out pretty bad. I think he had really developed the negative traits of gemini and had none of the positive ones. He was so self-absorbed. Very superficial. On the other hand, we got along great sometimes. Good chemistry, you know? Laughed alot. He came by work yesterday to see me. It was a little awkward after what all happened. I don't think all geminis are like that. I hope not. You're not, are you Paul?
Ummm, what else? I can give you some facts. I'm kinda tall for a chick, almost 5' 9'' . I am on the thin side. I have dark skin (from the Native American blood, almost a quarter). Long, straight dark red hair. Light blue eyes. I have no facial piercings. Just ears and belly. And I've got several tattoos. I love them. I am going soon to get another. I want to get my mom's name on my arm (the soft part between your wrist and elbow) in that nice writing, calligraphy i think it's called. Since her name is Donna, it's gonna say Bella Donna with the flower from that plant. I still got to draw it out, but you get the idea. Mom is in New Orleans with my stepdad for their anniversary today. She just called.
Paul, you've got to download some Rehab. It's awesome. Listen to the words. Here's an example: (from "It Don't Matter")
Sittin' in traffic
another day of feeling nothing
tryin' to find something
I guess it's back to huffing
Paint and model glue
How I die when I look at you smilin'
last night and all I know is blue
Rainy days and cold stares
broken love affairs
eveything's beautiful
as long as I ain't there
I guess I wasn't meant to crack a smile
who cares? i think i'll go to sleep for awhile
I'm merely living in my skin
depression's my only friend
And I don't know where I'm goin'
tryin' to forget where I've been
That one's a little sad but the others are upbeat. Without art and music, my life would be so grey. I'm gonna check out that Sinatra group you were talking about. I wish you lived closer, you know? All of us. It's been hard lately, cravings and such. I am having the strangest dreams about blow. Then I'll think about that all day, and I HATE that drug. How can I stop it? The obsession? F*cked up sh*t.
I never did escape this weekend. I had to work. Wishful thinking I guess. I hope to have a friend of mine come up in about 2 weeks to visit. That would be nice, someone from home. The people in this town are so off. Not like home. or y'all.
Well I will be checking tonight to see if you've been on or not. Take care, darlin'. There's only one Ruski-Paul.
missing home,
h-girl
What? No Paul, yet?
I forgot to answer some ?s. Oxycontin is a big deal here. It's an analgesic. Oxycodone, same as Percocet but 5-20x the dosage and no tylenol (so they break down). Think Morphine Sulfate (MS contin) but without the pins and needles and add about 6 more hours of being stoned. It's the stuff that the Ozbourne kids went to rehab for. They first came out in 1996. By 1998, everyone in my town was on them. I got my first when I had a compression fracture to my L-1 vertebrae. Around here, most folks have very dangerous, physically strenuous jobs and with that comes spinal injuries, cancers, etc. So it flooded. I've lost soo many friends to that drug. In the news they've dubbed it "hillbilly heroin". Like I said, around here you have to drive into the city for gear. So most people just got on oc's. They are very expensive. Much more so than gear. I'm sure there's loads of info here on the net. Last year, in the county I'm from, 215 overdoses resulting in fatalities. Over half were oxy's, the rest were from people shooting their methadone. Insane, huh?
How things have changed. The people that I thought would always be around are gone. I really miss them, but mostly I've tried never to think about it.
New subject: How're you doing? What's been going on? How was your V-Day?
Talk later,
h-girl
I forgot to answer some ?s. Oxycontin is a big deal here. It's an analgesic. Oxycodone, same as Percocet but 5-20x the dosage and no tylenol (so they break down). Think Morphine Sulfate (MS contin) but without the pins and needles and add about 6 more hours of being stoned. It's the stuff that the Ozbourne kids went to rehab for. They first came out in 1996. By 1998, everyone in my town was on them. I got my first when I had a compression fracture to my L-1 vertebrae. Around here, most folks have very dangerous, physically strenuous jobs and with that comes spinal injuries, cancers, etc. So it flooded. I've lost soo many friends to that drug. In the news they've dubbed it "hillbilly heroin". Like I said, around here you have to drive into the city for gear. So most people just got on oc's. They are very expensive. Much more so than gear. I'm sure there's loads of info here on the net. Last year, in the county I'm from, 215 overdoses resulting in fatalities. Over half were oxy's, the rest were from people shooting their methadone. Insane, huh?
How things have changed. The people that I thought would always be around are gone. I really miss them, but mostly I've tried never to think about it.
New subject: How're you doing? What's been going on? How was your V-Day?
Talk later,
h-girl
Hello everyone:
I'm still alive but I wanted to vent on a new post cause on this one it seems that only we come here,so if you want to see how I feel this week go to:"Does it seem like this just to me".I love you's all,and sorry for not being here this week.
Teena
I'm still alive but I wanted to vent on a new post cause on this one it seems that only we come here,so if you want to see how I feel this week go to:"Does it seem like this just to me".I love you's all,and sorry for not being here this week.
Teena
'Ya dont need money when you look like dat, HONEY??@$'- Does this mean anything to anyone?
Hiya Tee, H, San and Diff(whats that short for)
Sorry ive not been on but my heads been twatted for the last few days with one thing or another. Is it just the time of the month or is everyone suffering from Depression in some way? Even me, this morning I had been staring at the bloody wall for 20 minutes before I even realised it. Its like the pure stupid people are out in force today as well or is it me? I must be an idiot magnet or something. But even though I wasnt here Ive been thinking about everything youve all written. Its mad how much I do think about this place though.
ANother reason ive not been around is coz the schools are on holiday and so the library internet computers have a 2 hour waiting time. I know some people would say 'why dont you just hang around for 2 hours then'. Well 'No chance', Ive got better things to do than hang around this dump looking like a homeless junky.
Thats a wierd mix of colours h-girl. I was right about you being a red-indian then. Its not pc, to call you that though is it...I mean native American. I dont know why you were so uptight about not letting us know you were a native American because I think its brilliant. I was looking of a map of where you are and was wondering if you lived on a res or not. When I was in Canada I really wanted to meet a real native but the girl I was with kept shooing me away from them. It looked like the natives didnt get on at all with almost everyone else. Cant blame them really. Your my first.
I dont know anything about gemini traits coz im not into that star stuff. All that people say about certain traits could be in any person couldnt they? Maybe it means something but everyone of my x's have been virgos though.
I think I said to Teena before about my tattoos. Ive got one on my shoulder that I got in the jungle in Peru a few yaers ago. Its kind of a anthropomorphic face made up of a jaguar, vampire, persons face. Its the same tattoo that everyone in that tribe has and was done with bamboo spiles. I tell you what im into. You know those scars that Africans have? They cut their skin into mad shapes. That looks well cool. If I didnt have to live near normal people i'd probably have tatts and scars all over my face. Oh and ive got another Jaguar tattoo on my back.
Im really glad about my tatts and glad i havent got some of the s*** ive seen on some people.
hiya diff, ive seen you around on here and I think even spoke with you a few times but I honestly thought you were a bloke at first, so I never got round to CHATTING YOU UP that time. I dont know what it is about gear heads but the ones round here are the same and think im into everything in a skirt. I dont know why, i just get on better with girls, dont you find that you lot prefer talking to guys?
I wanted to say that I agree with what you said about probation as well. What a bag of s***e that is. I bloody missed the Monday one and got told off like a bloody kid in front of everyone in the room. I felt like a right d***. My main reason for being there was to ask about getting my probation transferred to a foreign country. I couldnt really ask about that when I cant even get the day right. Its usually Tuesda, so she goes and changes it to Monday for some daft reason. Anyway, i dont even get any usefull help whatsoever from it, f***ing useless and the woman whos my worker has a bloody afro wig as well.
Oh, damn time running out already. hang on back in a minute
Hiya Tee, H, San and Diff(whats that short for)
Sorry ive not been on but my heads been twatted for the last few days with one thing or another. Is it just the time of the month or is everyone suffering from Depression in some way? Even me, this morning I had been staring at the bloody wall for 20 minutes before I even realised it. Its like the pure stupid people are out in force today as well or is it me? I must be an idiot magnet or something. But even though I wasnt here Ive been thinking about everything youve all written. Its mad how much I do think about this place though.
ANother reason ive not been around is coz the schools are on holiday and so the library internet computers have a 2 hour waiting time. I know some people would say 'why dont you just hang around for 2 hours then'. Well 'No chance', Ive got better things to do than hang around this dump looking like a homeless junky.
Thats a wierd mix of colours h-girl. I was right about you being a red-indian then. Its not pc, to call you that though is it...I mean native American. I dont know why you were so uptight about not letting us know you were a native American because I think its brilliant. I was looking of a map of where you are and was wondering if you lived on a res or not. When I was in Canada I really wanted to meet a real native but the girl I was with kept shooing me away from them. It looked like the natives didnt get on at all with almost everyone else. Cant blame them really. Your my first.
I dont know anything about gemini traits coz im not into that star stuff. All that people say about certain traits could be in any person couldnt they? Maybe it means something but everyone of my x's have been virgos though.
I think I said to Teena before about my tattoos. Ive got one on my shoulder that I got in the jungle in Peru a few yaers ago. Its kind of a anthropomorphic face made up of a jaguar, vampire, persons face. Its the same tattoo that everyone in that tribe has and was done with bamboo spiles. I tell you what im into. You know those scars that Africans have? They cut their skin into mad shapes. That looks well cool. If I didnt have to live near normal people i'd probably have tatts and scars all over my face. Oh and ive got another Jaguar tattoo on my back.
Im really glad about my tatts and glad i havent got some of the s*** ive seen on some people.
hiya diff, ive seen you around on here and I think even spoke with you a few times but I honestly thought you were a bloke at first, so I never got round to CHATTING YOU UP that time. I dont know what it is about gear heads but the ones round here are the same and think im into everything in a skirt. I dont know why, i just get on better with girls, dont you find that you lot prefer talking to guys?
I wanted to say that I agree with what you said about probation as well. What a bag of s***e that is. I bloody missed the Monday one and got told off like a bloody kid in front of everyone in the room. I felt like a right d***. My main reason for being there was to ask about getting my probation transferred to a foreign country. I couldnt really ask about that when I cant even get the day right. Its usually Tuesda, so she goes and changes it to Monday for some daft reason. Anyway, i dont even get any usefull help whatsoever from it, f***ing useless and the woman whos my worker has a bloody afro wig as well.
Oh, damn time running out already. hang on back in a minute
Hiya Paul, You're right, I do enjoy having male friends. When I was with my husband he didn't like me having too many male friends, but he was allowed to "fraternise with the enemy". I haven't got any really close girlfriends any more. I do miss having a real close girlfriend. When my marriage broke up, I got real paranoid and broke off all my friendships, including my best friend, who I shared everything with. When I got so heavily involved in drugs I felt too ashamed to get in touch, and that's how it's stayed. I would like to think that one day I'd be able to reinitiate contact, but the friendship will never be what it was. It makes me sad. But hey, that's why you guys are so important to me. Although we never get to be in each others presence, I do like to think of you all as good friends. It would be so good if we all lived in the same town. But alas, we don't.
Anyway, got loads more posts to read so I'm gonna get on...
love
diff
PS: Teena, read my reply to your other post xxx
Anyway, got loads more posts to read so I'm gonna get on...
love
diff
PS: Teena, read my reply to your other post xxx
DIff,
Who know if we'll ever be in each others presence. I'd really like to meet some of the people off here in person but alas most of them are too scared even to put their photo on here nevermind tell anyone their real name. Sorry I know I aint usually like this but im just pissed off because theres a load of stupid little girls buzzing around me in this internet room. Anyone who has kids, then I know how you feel and Im not jelous. I must look like right sad old git to them because I just had to shout at one for shouting across me and now I feel like a real tight sod, coz theyre all whispering.
Where abouts are you diff, near Bristol somewhere? Im in Bolton. Whatever, you were saying about your car and people using you. I know that feeling. At the moment ive been selling this and that and its even worse when people start taking the piss coz they dont know you properly. Ive not done this for ages and coz im a new face theyre testing me, to see how far i'll go before I do something nasty.
Ive only been back since Monday and its already doing my head in.oh ive got 9.30, can I give you the rest next time? or just start walking off after giving you a handfull of change or nothing at all!
I know exactly what you mean about giving up mates for your boyfreind. I went through all that s*** as well. 'Oh, I dont mind you talking to any other girls', but when you do, you have to put up with the silent treatment all night. I never, never EVER want another physco relationship like that. You know I just noticed that every chick on here seems to have a physcotic x-boyfriend. Does that kind of guy come when 2 people are users? Its defiantly a no-no for me that, when a girl says that you have to kill her x-boyfriend first then you might as well call it a day before you start anything. Then Its the usual story of' oh, he used to hit me'- thats another one. Some girls make out theyre angels until you start going with them and realise just why their x used to hit them. Sorry to anyone who is a genuine case though.
I had this really bad relationship with a girl i met in a rehab once,she used to hit me!.no, she didnt.. She did all those other things I just mentioned though. It was a nightmare relationship and It still gives me a headache today. I couldnt believe it when on the final weekend with her, she dissappeared on Friday night and left me with her kid and she didnt come home till Sunday night off her head. Even though I didnt have a penny to my name and I was hundreds of miles from home, I still left there and then. Oh, It was awful and im sure that when she ever talks to her friends, im the devil in disguise. She did it because she knew I had no where to go and thought she could take the piss.
You know those OC's that heroin girl was on about? are they same as those DF118's we have here?
h-g
You know how you said you were having those wierd dreams about blow well im having similar ones about gold coins and fat babies with red eyes. Im not going to go into them but I keep having the same ones over and over again for the last 10 years or something. The dreams are exactly the same. I'd like to tell you about them but you'd just get bored like when anyone else tells you about their dreams. Then I......Then this happenned..and then you wouldnt beleive it but ......blah,blah,blah. know what I mean?
phones going, laters
Luv from Ruski xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ps. h-g dont talk to me about valentines day, you wouldnt beleive the trouble its caused me and I didnt even get sod all. Diff, tell them will you, that people dont make a big deal about valentines day over here, like they do in the states.
Who know if we'll ever be in each others presence. I'd really like to meet some of the people off here in person but alas most of them are too scared even to put their photo on here nevermind tell anyone their real name. Sorry I know I aint usually like this but im just pissed off because theres a load of stupid little girls buzzing around me in this internet room. Anyone who has kids, then I know how you feel and Im not jelous. I must look like right sad old git to them because I just had to shout at one for shouting across me and now I feel like a real tight sod, coz theyre all whispering.
Where abouts are you diff, near Bristol somewhere? Im in Bolton. Whatever, you were saying about your car and people using you. I know that feeling. At the moment ive been selling this and that and its even worse when people start taking the piss coz they dont know you properly. Ive not done this for ages and coz im a new face theyre testing me, to see how far i'll go before I do something nasty.
Ive only been back since Monday and its already doing my head in.oh ive got 9.30, can I give you the rest next time? or just start walking off after giving you a handfull of change or nothing at all!
I know exactly what you mean about giving up mates for your boyfreind. I went through all that s*** as well. 'Oh, I dont mind you talking to any other girls', but when you do, you have to put up with the silent treatment all night. I never, never EVER want another physco relationship like that. You know I just noticed that every chick on here seems to have a physcotic x-boyfriend. Does that kind of guy come when 2 people are users? Its defiantly a no-no for me that, when a girl says that you have to kill her x-boyfriend first then you might as well call it a day before you start anything. Then Its the usual story of' oh, he used to hit me'- thats another one. Some girls make out theyre angels until you start going with them and realise just why their x used to hit them. Sorry to anyone who is a genuine case though.
I had this really bad relationship with a girl i met in a rehab once,she used to hit me!.no, she didnt.. She did all those other things I just mentioned though. It was a nightmare relationship and It still gives me a headache today. I couldnt believe it when on the final weekend with her, she dissappeared on Friday night and left me with her kid and she didnt come home till Sunday night off her head. Even though I didnt have a penny to my name and I was hundreds of miles from home, I still left there and then. Oh, It was awful and im sure that when she ever talks to her friends, im the devil in disguise. She did it because she knew I had no where to go and thought she could take the piss.
You know those OC's that heroin girl was on about? are they same as those DF118's we have here?
h-g
You know how you said you were having those wierd dreams about blow well im having similar ones about gold coins and fat babies with red eyes. Im not going to go into them but I keep having the same ones over and over again for the last 10 years or something. The dreams are exactly the same. I'd like to tell you about them but you'd just get bored like when anyone else tells you about their dreams. Then I......Then this happenned..and then you wouldnt beleive it but ......blah,blah,blah. know what I mean?
phones going, laters
Luv from Ruski xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
ps. h-g dont talk to me about valentines day, you wouldnt beleive the trouble its caused me and I didnt even get sod all. Diff, tell them will you, that people dont make a big deal about valentines day over here, like they do in the states.
Hiya Paul, I'm in Llanelli, near Swansea. The reason I was going the 200mile round trip to Bristol and back, is coz Bristol is where all the gear in South Wales comes from. Every single dealer I know picks up from Bristol. As soon as it comes over the Severn Bridge it doubles in price. I'm lucky in that I know a dealer who brings it up as far as Swansea and sells it at Bristol prices. But that is a rarity. I suppose it's not lucky really, coz it makes it much more of a temptation when I'm picking it up half price. How much do you pay on a 'teenth in Bolton? Is Bolton in Lancashire? Please don't shoot me down in flames if it's not! I've been to Lancashire. I even got accepted into Lancaster Uni, but I ended up in Wales, and then transferred to Reading in my 2nd year.
Sounds like you are a real well travelled kind of guy. I love travelling. When I turned 16 I left on a trip round Europe. It was proper travelling, living in a transit van and sleeping under the stars every night. I loved it, but I was a bit too f***ed in the head to really appreciate it. After that I got a bit of a taste for the traveller lifestyle and spent more or less the next 7 years living in a variety of caravans and my old Luton Tranny. If I had to sum it up in one word, I'd say MUD. Few people realise how muddy a site gets. Every long winter I had mud permanently ingrained in my skin. That's why travvies look so tanned! But it was a good, free, life.
I have a lot of family in South Africa, and absolutely love going out there. The plan now is to get myself together, earn a bit of money, and go out there and get bar work for the summer season. I'm thinking November would be a good month to start. I still find it weird to think that Xmas is in the middle of summer out there!
Do I come across as masculine? I was surprised that you thought I was a bloke. I have a very feminine form! Maybe I have a masculine mind?
I'd like to think that we could meet one day. Hell, the places you've been to, it would hardly be a total mission to meet up one day!
love
diff (short for Meredith)
Sounds like you are a real well travelled kind of guy. I love travelling. When I turned 16 I left on a trip round Europe. It was proper travelling, living in a transit van and sleeping under the stars every night. I loved it, but I was a bit too f***ed in the head to really appreciate it. After that I got a bit of a taste for the traveller lifestyle and spent more or less the next 7 years living in a variety of caravans and my old Luton Tranny. If I had to sum it up in one word, I'd say MUD. Few people realise how muddy a site gets. Every long winter I had mud permanently ingrained in my skin. That's why travvies look so tanned! But it was a good, free, life.
I have a lot of family in South Africa, and absolutely love going out there. The plan now is to get myself together, earn a bit of money, and go out there and get bar work for the summer season. I'm thinking November would be a good month to start. I still find it weird to think that Xmas is in the middle of summer out there!
Do I come across as masculine? I was surprised that you thought I was a bloke. I have a very feminine form! Maybe I have a masculine mind?
I'd like to think that we could meet one day. Hell, the places you've been to, it would hardly be a total mission to meet up one day!
love
diff (short for Meredith)
