I was in a relationship with my BF for four years. He smoked marijuana on a regular basis the whole time we were together. About a year before he left, he started changing. He started to have night sweats, became irritable, didn't care about things that he had, etc.
Even his expression changed. He left with no warning and left while I was out. About 2 months after he left, I saw him and he had lost an enormous amount of weight. I know for certain that he was hanging out with some known crackheads for hours at the time after he was gone from me. Could have been before, I don't know. Can someone please tell me all the symptoms of crack use?
I have been in a relationship with a crack addict for 2 years. I knew his attitude was strange but could not figure out what was going on. I did a little research and found out the following. Symptoms of crack abuse I looked for was dilated pupils (very, very dilated); paranoia (i.e., staring outside, thinking someone is following him); you may find spoons from your utensil drawer missing (apparently used to mix cocaine and baking soda to make crack); boxes of baking soda around (apparently to mix with cocaine to make into crack); pipes for smoking crack; pens with no ink cartridge in them (to smoke crack with) forefinger and thumb may have burn marks or dry and scaly from digging crack out of pipes to smoke; and of course the usual, physical and verbal abuse, missing work, lying about whereabouts. I have just recently filed a restraining order against him and am in the process of moving out and on with my life. I wish you the best. I hope this helps in any way.
TO ALL WHO LIVE WITH SOMEONE THEY LOVE SO DEARLY....I HAVE BEEN WITH MY HUSBAND FOR OVER 16 YEARS. HE IS A CRACK ADDICT. HE IS ALSO DISABLED FROM HIS USE OF THIS DRUG. I HOPE AND PRAY EVERYDAY THAT HE CAN STOP. BUT I KNOW IN MY HEART HE NEVER WILL.I LOVE HIM IN SPITE OF THE VERBAL ABUSE I RECIEVE IF I DONT GIVE HIM THE MONEY HE NEEDS TO BUY THIS DEVIL IN DISGUISE. OUR BILLS ARE SO BEHIND THAT I AM ALMOST TO THE POINT OF ENDING IT ALL. I KEEP HOPING THAT SOMEDAY THEY WILL COME UP WITH THIS CURE ALL .....BUT WE ALL KNOW THAT AINT HAPPENING. HE DOES THIS DRUG EVERYDAY......IF HE BINGES FOR TWO DAYS HE MIGHT STAY HOME FOR A NIGHT....I SOMETIMES PRAY FOR HIS DEATH SO I CAN LIVE NORMAL AGAIN....CAN SOMEONE SAY ANYTHING TO MAKE ME COME TO MY SENSES?....I DOUBT IT...I TELL MYSELF ALL THE REASONS I SHOULD LEAVE...BUT I REALLY LOVE HIM AND WANT BACK THE OLD GUY I FELL IN LOVE WITH...WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE A METHADONE CLINIC MIGHT BE WORTH A TRY.......PLEASE POST YOUR INPUT.....
Hey - just leave him! im sorry but you cant help him! as long as he doesnt want to help himself he cant be helped!!
i can understand how much you love him but your only fueling his intake! maybe with you leaving it will make him come right nad want to change! best of luck...from excrackhead
i can understand how much you love him but your only fueling his intake! maybe with you leaving it will make him come right nad want to change! best of luck...from excrackhead
My son gave me a very vivid picture of the behavior of a young man addicted to crack. He went on a binge, came to my house after being gone for 2 days, was very obnoxious, loud, hyper, put on music as loud as possible, even disturbing the neighbors, called the police and falsely reported himself as disturbing the peace, pretending he was someone else; he slammed everything around, was up all night and all day, then fell asleep totally for a day. Then he got alcohol, left the house, came back, broke a window to get into my house and stole something. He even had the police bring him to my house, making up a very believable story that his poor mom was not feeling well and he thought I might be in trouble. The police delivered him to my door, where he quickly broke the window, stole the VCR and took off. Later, when the coke wore off, he called saying he was going to kill himself, and could he please come home. I could not believe this was my gentle, generous, loving son. He was not the same person on drugs. I have been told to totally disown him, and that is incredibly difficult, but I believe it could be the only way to get him to face his addiction. Otherwise, he will continue to manipulate anyone who tries to help him. He says it is not him, it is the drug. I told him I hate his drug, but I don't hate him. However, his behavior causes me to distrust him and I will not allow him to live in my house until he is clean for at least a year. This is a necessary step to take, to set definite boundaries with an addict like this. Helping in any way is really not helping. I told him I still love him and want him to get well, but he knows where to get help and what to do, but somehow these people are afraid they cannot make it in a straight condition for long, and they make up all kinds of excuses to fail. Praying for him everyday has really helped me to let go of him and force him to get real help. He could end up dead or disabled because of his addiction, but you will get to a point where you have to let him make that decision and live with the consequences. I would not advise letting him live with you, as it is dangerous to you and any children around.
I am still working through a lot of the emotional ups and downs when he does well or doesn't do well. The addict has to get the help themselves, though, if they really are to recover. you can never do it for them, just point them in the right direction.
I am still working through a lot of the emotional ups and downs when he does well or doesn't do well. The addict has to get the help themselves, though, if they really are to recover. you can never do it for them, just point them in the right direction.
TO CARRY03
I am so sorry you are experiencing the pain of cociane addiction with you son. What kind of symptom/signs did you experience with him other than the "craziness" you wrote about in your post? I had no idea my EX BF was doing crack (and still don't know for sure). He had smoked marijuana for years and I feel like he got in with some friends (and the woman he left me for) and started doing these things. He had some a drastic personality change and even his expression change.
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM EVERYONE ABOUT WHAT THEY NOTICED BEFORE THEY KNEW FOR SURE THAT THIER LOVED ONE WAS USING. I AM TRYING TO PUT THIS TOGETHER IN MY HEART AND MIND BUT I AM NOT GETTING VERY MANY REPLIES. CB
I am so sorry you are experiencing the pain of cociane addiction with you son. What kind of symptom/signs did you experience with him other than the "craziness" you wrote about in your post? I had no idea my EX BF was doing crack (and still don't know for sure). He had smoked marijuana for years and I feel like he got in with some friends (and the woman he left me for) and started doing these things. He had some a drastic personality change and even his expression change.
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM EVERYONE ABOUT WHAT THEY NOTICED BEFORE THEY KNEW FOR SURE THAT THIER LOVED ONE WAS USING. I AM TRYING TO PUT THIS TOGETHER IN MY HEART AND MIND BUT I AM NOT GETTING VERY MANY REPLIES. CB
Looking back, before I knew, I think the first signs were his missing alot of work for the most bizarre reasons, (father in hospital needing a heart transplant, flood at house, lost car keys, car broke down). Then asking for loans of money for every reason (someone stole his money, car broke down, needs medicine). Then lies (every word since I met him 5 years ago). When using- dilated puples, burnt thumb, strong chemical smell when hugging him, lack of normal sex drive, but drawn towards porno, 900 calls, other women. Needless to say I still love him, always will, he left me for a woman he met in a freak room at a crack house in the ghetto. Got her pregnant, had a crack baby. Went to prison, I went back to him, helped him get out. Went back to her. Went back to prison, now wants me back. I won't to go back to him, I won't even go see him or take his calls, have not seen him for 3 years, or talked to him in almost 2 years. We do write, he says he loves me, but I know thats just part of the manipulation. It's really tough during the holidays, guess thats why I'm here. He's been an addict since he was 18, he is 38 now. His family has disowned him. All he has is the crackwhore and the crackbaby. I have to keep my distance forever, I wish him the best, but I know in my heart he will either end up dead in the gutter or spend his life in and out of prison. Maybe this will help you let go.
it's easy to say leave them ,but most people who are in a relationship with a oerson who is addicted develop what is called co-dependancy which is when the persom who is not addicted tries to put on a front to protect the addicted person hoping that what ever they do will keep he addict at home ,giving him money,telling lies for them (john)is sick today and will not come to work thinking that it's something you did rhat made them turn to drugs or alcohol.never letting them hit that bottom which is different for each indiviual .a person who is addicted has to want to change ,for anything to happen but this may take many tries not for everybody but in most cases the addicted person faces many road blocks but his family must not hie/her enabler
RCD i noticed was haveing a hard time keeping dates.. likenot being on time. he would be 15min to 2 hours late at times... then i noticed he would always go into another roomn when his "friends" would comeover. his eyes looked different not just dilated but like they werent even his. when we would drive he would always think there was a cop around.. these are the thing that stand out but all of this happened before i knew for sure. hope it helps,
much love and hope,
ilmorcd
much love and hope,
ilmorcd
I know what you mean about the eyes, very creepy. And the paranoia,
he use to write down the tag numbers of cars that were around him. Convinced himself that he was being followed by the same people, and they kept switching cars. Reading what I just wrote, made me laugh, he always thoght the world revolved around him, thinking other people cared about one crack-addict enough to follow him around. His dad called me a couple of hours ago, theres a chance he might be released from prison soon. That scares the crap out of me. The only time I feel at peace is when he's locked up. I don't think he would physically hurt me, but I worry about him breaking into my home and his parents home like he has done before. I also worry he will screw the wrong people over and pay the price.
he use to write down the tag numbers of cars that were around him. Convinced himself that he was being followed by the same people, and they kept switching cars. Reading what I just wrote, made me laugh, he always thoght the world revolved around him, thinking other people cared about one crack-addict enough to follow him around. His dad called me a couple of hours ago, theres a chance he might be released from prison soon. That scares the crap out of me. The only time I feel at peace is when he's locked up. I don't think he would physically hurt me, but I worry about him breaking into my home and his parents home like he has done before. I also worry he will screw the wrong people over and pay the price.
sounds so like my boyfriend ive had two years of let down always amazing excuses as said by others here car broke down , accident hospital mugged lost money (and im so gullible i believed )porn sites, porn calls, runny nose lots! turningup at 2 am instead of 7pm the previous nite not much of a sex drive dialated pupils. extra mcdonalds straws, rolled up card or torn bits off of thin boxes i think he uses cocain not crack but am not too sure as he wont really talk always says later and it never happens. only found out a few months back about it and thats cos he left evidence behind i put 2 n 2 together and it all makes sense . reading some of these posts has helped to realise that its not just us thats going through this .
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND THAT I HAVE BEEN WITH FOR 2 YEARS. WHAT SEEMS SO AMAZING IS THAT I AM 35 YEARS OLD AND UNTIL 2 YEARS AGO I KNEW ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT CRACK. WHEN WE FIRST GOT TOGETHER EVERYONE TRIED TO TELL ME THAT HE WAS THIS WAY. I WAS SO IGNORANT I DIDN'T BELIEVE THEM. ONE NIGHT ON OUR WAY HOME HE SHOWED ME SOMETHING THAT I HAD NEVER SEEN BEFORE. HE WAS HOLDING IN HIS HAND A $100 PIECE. I REMEMBER AT THAT MOMENT BEING SO SCARED FOR HIM. I FELT STUPID BECAUSE AT FIRST I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT WAS. LATER ON I STARTED NOTICING SIGNS HUGE DIALATED PUPILS,PARANOIA,NERVOUSNESS AND I ALSO NOTICED THAT ALCOHOL ALWAYS SEEMED TO "SET HIM OFF". HE COULDN'T DRINK AND NOT DO CRACK. I LEFT HIM 3 TIMES BEFORE THIS LAST TIME. I KEPT HOPING THAT MY LOVE FOR HIM WOUL BE ENOUGH TO GET HIM TO STOP. I STILL LOVE HIM VERY MUCH BUT JUST LAST NIGHT I HAD HIM ARRESTED FOR STEALING MY CAR AND MY TV. HE HAS ALSO JUST RECENTLY STARTED GETTING VIOLENT. I HAVE 2 CHILDREN,NOT BY HIM,THAT I NEED TO THINK ABOUT. HE HAS GOTTEN RID OF THEIR BICYCLES,NINTENDOS,4 TVS,2 CARS,3 VCR'S,DVD PLAYER,VACUUM CLEANER,SHOES,COLLECTORS KNIVES,3 SWORDS,2 STEREOS,BED ROOM FURNITURE,3 GUNS AND PROBABLY OTHER THINGS I DON'T KNOW ABOUT. I HAVE BEEN BITTEN,HIT,PUNCHED AND HAD LOADS OF MONEY STOLEN FROM ME. HE HAS ALSO GOTTEN RID OF MY KID'S CHRISTMAS PRESENTS. SO I HAVE HAD TO EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT SANTA ISN'T COMING THIS YEAR. HE SAYS HE GETS JACKED UP ON THIS STUFF AND CAN'T CONTROL HIMSELF. HE SAYS HE LOVES ME AND I DON'T DOUBT IT AT ALL. HE LOVES ME AS MUCH AS HE CAN BUT CRACK IS HIS FIRST LOVE AND COMES FIRST. HE GOT OUT OF JAIL TODAY ON CHARGES OF CRIMINAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WITH A $1062.00 FINE. HE HASN'T WORKED ONE DAY IN 2 YEARS BUT I HAVE BUSTED MY BEHIND TO WORK AND KEEP THINGS GOING. I CAN ONLY WISH HIM THE BEST. RIGHT NOW HE IS VERY MAD AT ME AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT LET HIM GO. I ONLY PRAY THAT ONE DAY HE WILL GET SOME HELP AND FINALLY SEE WHAT HE HAS DONE. NOW I KNOW WHY IS WAS SO DISTANT EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY. I JUST ALWAYS THOUGHT HE WASN'T A VERY SENSUAL PERSON BUT NOW I UNDERSTAND WHY HE DIDN'T LIKE SEX OR ALL THE OTHER THINGS THAT NORMAL COUPLES LIKE. I FEEL SO SORRY FOR OTHER PEOPLE GOING THROUGH THIS. ALL MY PRAYERS GO OUT TO EVERYONE WHO IS SUFFERING THROUGH THIS. BUT WE LIVE AND LEARN AND MOVE ON. IN ORDER TO KEEP OUR SANITY WE HAVE TO. JUST ONE MORE THING, EVEN THOUGH I HAVE BEEN AROUND THIS FOR 2 YEARS I HAVE NEVER TRIED CRACK AND NEVER INTEND ON STARTING. LOVE TO YOU ALL DJ
sounds like crack to me.....but whose to know.....
if he's hanigng out with crack users, what does that tell you??i mean, if i like weed, i'll hang with the pot heads...its where the weed is at, and i can relate to them,bond with my drug of choice. now if i like crack, i'll hang with crack users,so that we can plan and scheme together....
weight loss is a definate symptom of crack abuse.
also paranoia, tweeking out the window, loosing interest in everything...lying...
stealing, prostituting....exc.so many things it would fit on thsi board....
if he's hanigng out with crack users, what does that tell you??i mean, if i like weed, i'll hang with the pot heads...its where the weed is at, and i can relate to them,bond with my drug of choice. now if i like crack, i'll hang with crack users,so that we can plan and scheme together....
weight loss is a definate symptom of crack abuse.
also paranoia, tweeking out the window, loosing interest in everything...lying...
stealing, prostituting....exc.so many things it would fit on thsi board....
I am in a denial period. Hoping everday I am being told the truth. My husband left me on 12/15/03. He left me a letter telling me that he just needs to feel. I checked his voice mail and told him I knew he was back to the old behavior. He has turned it on me and says because I was so mistrusting, this is what has created his moving in with another woman. He says he cannot forgive me for invading his privacy. I feel terrible about the situation and feel like if I did not go beyond this trust he would not have strayed. However, I still know that he is doing drugs and they have taken his mind over. It is so difficult to be rational with someone you know is lying. I only wamt to make him ok. I know it is not up to me. I pray everyday for him to see how much I love him. But why? He hurts me so much. he calls me filthy names. He tells me I am a terrible person. What can I do? Just leave him? I reel in the pain everyday. I can hardly work. I can hardly focus. I just need the man that loved me so much. Do they ever come back to the reality of what is true love. Or do I just try my best to stop loving him? Please help, I hurt so much.
I'm finding it harder and harder each day to put up with my husbands crack addiction. This is truely a battle that can't be won. I find that my anger gets much worse each time he uses. Of course he never does it in front of me... but we all know the signs. This has lasted for about 3 years,,, and it's finally getting the better of me. I feel that I have become an addict by just having to deal with all that comes with living with one. It has consumed my every waking minute. I have lost myself! When will enough be enough?
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I would just like to know ALL the symtoms of usage. I am trying to rationalize some of my ex BF behaviour and appearance without unjustly accusing him. I am sorry for what all of you are going through. My BF left me and I am wondering if it is because he was so hooked on something and he knew I would not condone it? I still miss him and love him but don't know how to handle him at this point. I would appreciate any anyput from anyone that can help me. Hope all of you had happy holidays.
I would just like to know ALL the symtoms of usage. I am trying to rationalize some of my ex BF behaviour and appearance without unjustly accusing him. I am sorry for what all of you are going through. My BF left me and I am wondering if it is because he was so hooked on something and he knew I would not condone it? I still miss him and love him but don't know how to handle him at this point. I would appreciate any anyput from anyone that can help me. Hope all of you had happy holidays.
anitab, Hi.
I am responding to this one statement, you wrote:
"I still miss him and love him but don't know how to handle him at this point."
I will simply say honesty.
You have a right to feel the way you do. Confusion, doubt, self doubt, fear of doing/saying the wrong thing... over-reacting, falsely accusing and feeling crazy is another strong symptom that there is an addict/holic in ones life.
Trust your instincts, easy does it and if he is a user, you didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it.
If identifying it in concrete solid scientific terms helps you, I hope you find it but for many of us with loved ones afflicted with this disease - it is hind sight that tells the story and the facts start adding up and making sense. Don't look for rational reasons for irrational behavior - look at what is and not what could be, should be, would be - if only...
This does not diminish the pain in our hearts for the ones we love. It only helps to keep us sane when it is hard to distinguish via emotions what is real and what is imagined.
If you deceide to take a ride with an addict - you will need all the strength you can get!
I am responding to this one statement, you wrote:
"I still miss him and love him but don't know how to handle him at this point."
I will simply say honesty.
You have a right to feel the way you do. Confusion, doubt, self doubt, fear of doing/saying the wrong thing... over-reacting, falsely accusing and feeling crazy is another strong symptom that there is an addict/holic in ones life.
Trust your instincts, easy does it and if he is a user, you didn't cause it, you can't cure it and you can't control it.
If identifying it in concrete solid scientific terms helps you, I hope you find it but for many of us with loved ones afflicted with this disease - it is hind sight that tells the story and the facts start adding up and making sense. Don't look for rational reasons for irrational behavior - look at what is and not what could be, should be, would be - if only...
This does not diminish the pain in our hearts for the ones we love. It only helps to keep us sane when it is hard to distinguish via emotions what is real and what is imagined.
If you deceide to take a ride with an addict - you will need all the strength you can get!
Hi Starlight -
Thanks for replying - I am sorry you are having to go through having someone on drugs. PLEASE tell me the signs/symptoms that your loved one showed that indicated the drugs. I have a lot of reasons to suspect my ex bf. He became "antsy", started withdrawing from the family (made excuses not to be with them where he had loved being with them before - especially the grandchildren), became verbally abusive to ME. He had always smoked MJ before but started smoking heavier. He left me suddenly without warning and moved out while I was gone. He tried to cover all this tracks so I would not find him even to the point of having his friends tell me that he had moved out of town. By being a VERY GOOD DETECTIVE (and HIS lack of COMMON SENSE, it did not take long for me to find out exactly where he was. I know that he was hanging out for hours at a known crackhead's apartment SEVERAL times that I witnessed myself. I have only had one encounter with him and that was about 2 months after he left - he had lost so much weight - he had a dead look in his eyes and was alternately between cold and warm to me. I also found out he had moved in with a woman of another race which shocked me too since he is VERY prejudiced. NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE!!!!!
I would appreciate anymore input ANYONE can give me. Starlight, thanks again and hope to hear from your again soon.
Thanks for replying - I am sorry you are having to go through having someone on drugs. PLEASE tell me the signs/symptoms that your loved one showed that indicated the drugs. I have a lot of reasons to suspect my ex bf. He became "antsy", started withdrawing from the family (made excuses not to be with them where he had loved being with them before - especially the grandchildren), became verbally abusive to ME. He had always smoked MJ before but started smoking heavier. He left me suddenly without warning and moved out while I was gone. He tried to cover all this tracks so I would not find him even to the point of having his friends tell me that he had moved out of town. By being a VERY GOOD DETECTIVE (and HIS lack of COMMON SENSE, it did not take long for me to find out exactly where he was. I know that he was hanging out for hours at a known crackhead's apartment SEVERAL times that I witnessed myself. I have only had one encounter with him and that was about 2 months after he left - he had lost so much weight - he had a dead look in his eyes and was alternately between cold and warm to me. I also found out he had moved in with a woman of another race which shocked me too since he is VERY prejudiced. NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE!!!!!
I would appreciate anymore input ANYONE can give me. Starlight, thanks again and hope to hear from your again soon.
my friends my husband and i were all on crack for some time and after reading the things that everyone was writing, everthing you all described was us in a nutshell, we isolated from everyone, eyes, paranoid, borrowing money for any reason, you all know you are dealing with these people or you wouldnt be asking, you just need to hear it from a former user. You cant help any of them till they are ready to make the choice on there own or it will never work. I know from my own experiences. The only thing you can do is let them sink or swim on there own, but when they are ready they will need your support to get through. good luck to you all
I got married 3 weeks ago and my husband announced to me 3 nights ago that he had a drug problem. He is being very vague with the details and wants me to be understanding and supportive. I am shocked and upset. I don't know how to be supportive. I don't know if I am helping him or not. Originally he was going to go to NA and as of last night decided he can do this on his own. I am so scared that he can't. I would never have gotten involved with someone who used drugs had I known. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this. What should I or shouldn't I be doing? I believe that he is sincere about quitting since I didn't have clue about the problem and he could have continued without me knowing but I am worried that he can't quit on his own.