This Is How I Look When I'm Constpated[lol]



LMAO! A story us opiate addicts can really appreciate and laugh about!



That story is priceless. I can remember taking my stool softeners right along with my oxys...and yes, I learned the "hard" way.

Thanks Rae.

Redd
Yeah, I believe we all can relate. That's why we find it so funny.
gosh, i related to that....a football with glass shards...lmao
ROFLMAO...........I haven't even had my coffee yet ..Oh man can I relate Rea........it was no big dael not to go po for weeks on end.........I just watched my tummy grown and my butt feel heavy from the pile building up inside......
then I would cry when I finally would get rid of the beast.couldn't walk for a while....sometimes I said the rabbit pellets were fine.........but oh my to go everyday now........dang no wonder why I smile all the time now.........LMAO such a fuuny thread, and too see so manyLOL...
Traci

s'more poo humor....


Things to Do Whilst Going Poo

Here's a list of things to do,
Whilst you're making number two.
Yes my humor's awfully blue,
But why not make it fun to poo?
While you're crapping just pretend,
That your butt's an ATM.
Withdraw cash from your rear-end.
Grab some poop and spend, spend, spend!

Picture you are in a race,
Passing cars with each strained face.
Try and keep up with the pace,
Or you will finish in "turd" place.

Phone a pal and start to chat.
Let him hear your feces splat.
He'll say, "What the hell was that?"
Then say, "Nothing, I just shat."

Put a plunger 'tween your knees.
Fly a plane above the trees.
Soaring with the blowing breeze,
Dropping "bombs" on enemies.

Grab your toilet paper roll.
Shove a piece straight up your hole.
Watch it dangle in the bowl.
Yeah it's weird but that's the goal.

Pretend your dung is dynamite,
Grab a match and strike the light.
Drop it in and hang on tight,
Just in case it does ignite.

Be a judge upon his bench,
In a trial 'bout the stench.
Overrule with every clench,
Flush the guilty down the trench.

Do not flush for several weeks,
'Til that bathroom really reeks.
Then go in and squeeze those cheeks.
Practice "holding breath" techniques.

(This one's only for the guys.)
Stuff your goods between your thighs.
Try and win the target prize,
Peeing on your poopy pies.

Here's one for that nasty deuce.
When your bowels are really loose.
Imagine you are making juice,
Freshly squeezed from your caboose.

Here is one last little tip.
Play a game of Battleship.
You've got gas? Then let 'er rip!
Try and make the big logs flip.

Now my list is all but done.
Maybe you can try just one.
You'll be hooked once you've begun.
Hope you all have "loads" of fun!


My heavens Rae!!! You are becoming quite the Poopologist!!!

I don't remember who posted it, but there was an adorable link to a thing called "the poo poo dance"...my kids loved it
OMG.........I Really have missed a lot in addiction..........Poems to Poop By!!
Great bathroom reading materiel, I Think I'm going to borders & buy a copy for every man I Know for Christmas, Maybe it would get "em the hell out of the bathroom sooner!!! You Think? LMAO
Dottie
Terrianne,

That poem is great. Wish my printer worked. Would hang that one by the toilet. lol...
i'm so glad my poop thread can bring all of us so close together[lol]...........vinny.
Boo, I printed that for my son. hope all is well..

Yoh Vinny!
Hey... does anyone else have to have some form of noise when they go to the bathroom? I have to have the water running or the blowdryer on! LOL... husband makes fun of me. :)
yo wendy,no bri usally the normal sounds of splashing water and roaring thunder does it for me[lol]................vinny.
lmao! roaring thunder! :)
LMAO OMG way toooooooo funny..............only the noises my inners make.......LMAO good one bri
this thread is way to good Vinny...it brings out the laughter in us all.....and oh yea maybe a few sick minds............LOL well ALOT of sick minds..........good one........Laughter is so much needed during our wd state......I am so glad I was at the state I was when you posted this thread so I could laugh!!!!
i laugh at the most ridiculous stuff nowadays... i swear i will be in public and something will just crack me up for no reason.
well i'm off to get a shower,talk to ya later...............vinny.
Make sure to left the shed and wash up...........hagd....hey scrub a little extra for me.then maybe I won't have to take one
finally... i was wondering what that stinch was! LOL! JK.... see ya later! :)