THumper, you and java are right, but everytime I see him or go near him, ugh, I just get so bothered and the hurt feelings resurface.
Isn't he at least grovelling right now?
Stephy
I know how painful this must be for you. Your husband may have some issuses of his own going on and may need some professional help. Talk to him when you calm down and find out what is going on in his head.
Wendy
I know how painful this must be for you. Your husband may have some issuses of his own going on and may need some professional help. Talk to him when you calm down and find out what is going on in his head.
Wendy
No he is not talking to me, which I hate. I am sure that he is feeling like an a$$ though. Tomarrow I am going to his mothers house and showing her the papers of the conversation.
Edit: I already talked about going to counseling, but this was before all this happened. I know he has something that is bothering him and I think he needs to see a counselor, I don't know about marriage counseling though because I don't know if I will ever get over this.
Edit: I already talked about going to counseling, but this was before all this happened. I know he has something that is bothering him and I think he needs to see a counselor, I don't know about marriage counseling though because I don't know if I will ever get over this.
Out of curiousity has your husband (or you) viewed the series that are aired by "Dateline" in regard to adult/child cyber affairs? It will be very easy for you to find out if this person is a woman, a girl, a man or a boy....I don't believe you've conversed with them personally as of yet, correct? I again highly suggest protecting yourself and your children, because it's highly likely he has done this before, but perhaps this is the first time you have caught him....you can also have your hard drive researched to see what sites he has been visiting....well, there are many ways for you to find out what he has been doing. I suggest praying to God to give you guidance and for it to be revealed to you what is going on and what action you should take....then take the action and leave the results up to God.
I'm editing this to add: I currently am moving legally forward (with the Police & CPS) to bring justice about for my own 15 year old daughter; it is highly painful to walk through this most difficult time, however I could not, in good conscience (or even be able to sleep at night) if I knew I did not "throw the book" at these men ~ if the guys I'm dealing with have been "involved" with my own daughter, and three other young girls to date, well, they will continue to pursue and destroy the lives of other young girls. Sometimes it is so hard to do the right think, but there is absolutely no excuse if one does not.
I'm editing this to add: I currently am moving legally forward (with the Police & CPS) to bring justice about for my own 15 year old daughter; it is highly painful to walk through this most difficult time, however I could not, in good conscience (or even be able to sleep at night) if I knew I did not "throw the book" at these men ~ if the guys I'm dealing with have been "involved" with my own daughter, and three other young girls to date, well, they will continue to pursue and destroy the lives of other young girls. Sometimes it is so hard to do the right think, but there is absolutely no excuse if one does not.
Trust me, I always check my hard drive. I know how to do all that. This is the first time he has done this, which is why I caught him so fast. Because I look all the time. He didn't really start using the computer until about a week ago.
Steph
Are you sure you want to involve his mother in it at this stage. Cool down and after you've talked, see how you feel then.
Wendy
Are you sure you want to involve his mother in it at this stage. Cool down and after you've talked, see how you feel then.
Wendy
VW, I can tell that you feel strongly on this subject, but telling me all this is not helping me. I don't need to worry about that type of stuff when I am going through something like this. I came here to get support and what your typing is making me feel I did something wrong. I am not trying to start anything here, but I really don't need to be hearing this stuff right now. I am very upset right now and am trying to deal with my emotions.
I know for a fact that my husband has never done this and I don't think this woman was 15, I just think that she didn't want me to think that someone her age would be doing something like this. She wanted to seem innocent, like I said if it was her mothers account, why would she give me an email address with the same name as her mothers account. Then her mother would read it. Not to mention, when girls lie about their age, they don't usually say they are 34. That is a little old for a teenager to play as.
Wendy,
I had already talked to his mother because we were fighting and my husband needs to see a counselor because he has been having anger issues. I just want her to know what he is up to, so it doesn't look like it is my fault, he likes to blame me a lot.
I know for a fact that my husband has never done this and I don't think this woman was 15, I just think that she didn't want me to think that someone her age would be doing something like this. She wanted to seem innocent, like I said if it was her mothers account, why would she give me an email address with the same name as her mothers account. Then her mother would read it. Not to mention, when girls lie about their age, they don't usually say they are 34. That is a little old for a teenager to play as.
Wendy,
I had already talked to his mother because we were fighting and my husband needs to see a counselor because he has been having anger issues. I just want her to know what he is up to, so it doesn't look like it is my fault, he likes to blame me a lot.
I agree completely. Steph is needing some support right now, and I think some are looking way to far into this, without knowing all the details.........
Stephanie you did NOTHING wrong for god's sake, This is the last thing you need to be worrying about right now.
Big Hugs girl.
Stay calm...........and Relax.
Stephanie you did NOTHING wrong for god's sake, This is the last thing you need to be worrying about right now.
Big Hugs girl.
Stay calm...........and Relax.
My intention is not to hurt or upset you....and I know this is very painful for you....but I am an advocate for the protection of children in regard to internet safety (again, it is an organization I am a member of) and I do feel extremely strong in regard to this situation and I am one not to rest on my laurels. Please keep in mind this is a public domain site and you do not know who is currently reading your posts and what may result from it. However, I do wish you the best of luck and I hope you, your husband and family get the assistance you need with this very devastating situation that has occurred. Try to stay in prayer and meditation so that you will have the energy and strength to walk through this with a clear mind.
Thank you so much Java, I just got into an argument with my husband. He says he knows what he did was wrong and that he is disgusted with himself and I keep throwing it in his face.
But he deserves to have it thrown in his face.
The woman he talked to said her name was Yuki, Maybe I will write her and see what her name comes back as.
Edit: VW, Thank you, I know your not trying to upset me and I wasn't trying to upset u either. I am glad that you are trying to help keep children safe from internet prowlers, it is just that I know my husband doesn't do that kind of stuff. I watch him carefully and I know where to check on my computer. He doesn't know much about computers, so he didn't know that when you IM it saves to your computer.
But he deserves to have it thrown in his face.
The woman he talked to said her name was Yuki, Maybe I will write her and see what her name comes back as.
Edit: VW, Thank you, I know your not trying to upset me and I wasn't trying to upset u either. I am glad that you are trying to help keep children safe from internet prowlers, it is just that I know my husband doesn't do that kind of stuff. I watch him carefully and I know where to check on my computer. He doesn't know much about computers, so he didn't know that when you IM it saves to your computer.
Stephanie, You did not upset me I want to make that very clear, it takes a lot to upset me nowadays...I've walked through many tragic events as of late in my life. I have managed to stay clean and sober through them. However, I again in good conscience, could not stand by or not follow through with any legal action when a child is involved. Again, trust God and stay clean.
stephy.............
i said a prayer for you honey....................
tomorrow is almost here and it will be a new day............
everything will be ok...................
your safe and so is your family...............
try try to count your belssings right now.......................
hug your kids and your puppy..............
and close your eyes and see all the angels that the Lord has surrounded you with this very moment................feel your heart begin to calm down and feel Gods love filling inside your dear sweet heart.............
this to shall pass honey........i promise................
everything will be ok...........
dont fight with your husband about this anymore tonight honey...........
simply let your husbnad see that this has hurt and dissapointed you in the worst way and let God take over.................
please dont fight with him any more this is only hurting you more........
trust me...........
go and rest yourself and take care of you right now...........
thumper
i said a prayer for you honey....................
tomorrow is almost here and it will be a new day............
everything will be ok...................
your safe and so is your family...............
try try to count your belssings right now.......................
hug your kids and your puppy..............
and close your eyes and see all the angels that the Lord has surrounded you with this very moment................feel your heart begin to calm down and feel Gods love filling inside your dear sweet heart.............
this to shall pass honey........i promise................
everything will be ok...........
dont fight with your husband about this anymore tonight honey...........
simply let your husbnad see that this has hurt and dissapointed you in the worst way and let God take over.................
please dont fight with him any more this is only hurting you more........
trust me...........
go and rest yourself and take care of you right now...........
thumper
Oh Thumper, you know how to make people smile.
God just flows the right words through from you to me. I don't know what I would do without you. You just know how to make me feel better.
Tomarrow will be a new day. You know what I really hate about myself? When I want to stay mad, it is hard for me to. I want to be mad at him and I want to hate him, but it is so hard. I don't want to forgive him even though I know I should. I want him to suffer and hurt like I do.
God just flows the right words through from you to me. I don't know what I would do without you. You just know how to make me feel better.
Tomarrow will be a new day. You know what I really hate about myself? When I want to stay mad, it is hard for me to. I want to be mad at him and I want to hate him, but it is so hard. I don't want to forgive him even though I know I should. I want him to suffer and hurt like I do.
you know why you feel this way stephy........becuase you have the Lord in your heart..............
God gives us that............
and it is very beautiful stehpy............very beautiful..........
he is still your husband and lets see how God is going to turn this around in your favor...........some how He will....we just have to believe that.........
go to your bible and read every thing you can on love and forgivness.........
i promise you it will embrace your heart with the love and peace that you need right now.................
sing our song stephy..........
i am singing with you...........
i love you
God gives us that............
and it is very beautiful stehpy............very beautiful..........
he is still your husband and lets see how God is going to turn this around in your favor...........some how He will....we just have to believe that.........
go to your bible and read every thing you can on love and forgivness.........
i promise you it will embrace your heart with the love and peace that you need right now.................
sing our song stephy..........
i am singing with you...........
i love you
I am so glad to have the lord in my heart, I just wish my husband did as much as I do.
I am just going to stop worrying and let God take over. He will guide me in the right direction.
Atleast I didn't go running for pills, even though I got so upset. I didn't even think about pills.
I am just going to stop worrying and let God take over. He will guide me in the right direction.
Atleast I didn't go running for pills, even though I got so upset. I didn't even think about pills.
you didnt run to pills stephy and that is wonderful.
your a stong woman and with God your even stronger..........
goos night honey.............get some rest...
i am watching joel olsteen right now................
if you can watch it or ever see this man on tv, stop and listen to him......
you'll like him................
his name is Joel Olsteen.............
you can look him up and see his web site also...........
talk to you tomorrow honey............
thumper
your a stong woman and with God your even stronger..........
goos night honey.............get some rest...
i am watching joel olsteen right now................
if you can watch it or ever see this man on tv, stop and listen to him......
you'll like him................
his name is Joel Olsteen.............
you can look him up and see his web site also...........
talk to you tomorrow honey............
thumper
look at his back legs stephy............;0)
awwwwwwwwwwwwwww
You seem to believe in GOD and you know that GOD teaches forgiveness. And if you don't feel you can trust him again, then what kind of relationship do you have without trust? I personally would seek professional help for both of you before I toss it away.
I am will VW on this one. Cyber sex with a minor well we all have seen dateline and what can happen to men that do this, I pray this isn't your husband case.
Be it 15 or 34, he obviously needs help. Maybe it is the first time and he found it to be exciting, not knowing the consequences, but if he knew how to DL a chat program, and if he has only been doing this a week and knew the ins and outs, I highly doubt this is his first time on a computer. My Opinion. But you know him better than anyone.
Hopefully the two of you can come to some type of meeting of the minds, and the truth will come out as to how long he has really been doing this, and the reasons why. He isn't speaking to you because he is embarrassed and humiliated. I would ask him if having cybersex with a person online is worth tossing away what he has at home. Get counseling for both of you.
Maybe just maybe he wanted to get caught by you.?? Believe it or not, there are people with a sickness that hope they get caught in order to get help.
Not sure why you want to involve his mother? This is between you two, and a professional. IMO.
I am will VW on this one. Cyber sex with a minor well we all have seen dateline and what can happen to men that do this, I pray this isn't your husband case.
Be it 15 or 34, he obviously needs help. Maybe it is the first time and he found it to be exciting, not knowing the consequences, but if he knew how to DL a chat program, and if he has only been doing this a week and knew the ins and outs, I highly doubt this is his first time on a computer. My Opinion. But you know him better than anyone.
Hopefully the two of you can come to some type of meeting of the minds, and the truth will come out as to how long he has really been doing this, and the reasons why. He isn't speaking to you because he is embarrassed and humiliated. I would ask him if having cybersex with a person online is worth tossing away what he has at home. Get counseling for both of you.
Maybe just maybe he wanted to get caught by you.?? Believe it or not, there are people with a sickness that hope they get caught in order to get help.
Not sure why you want to involve his mother? This is between you two, and a professional. IMO.
dear stephanie ~
i am not at liberty to discuss anything about a cybersex case that i am currently assisting a defense team on; however, i will say this - geri has offered you some extremely sound advice and i know her intent was not to hurt or support you; rather to empower you as to the consequences of such acts.
in addition to marital counseling, you may want to seek legal counsel just to see where you stand in the mess. i don't usually respond to messages such as this; but the seriousness of what you wrote concerned me. and i must add that i'm a bit baffled in that i have been online for 7 years now - never heard of IMVU (although there's a lot i've never heard of on the internet) and you stated your husband has been online for 7 days and he sure knew how to access it. this IMVU site piqued my interest after reading your message earlier this morning, so i googled it and went there. have you read their entire terms of use, which is linked at the bottom of their home page?
i'm so sorry you and your family are going through this and pray that some semblance of serenity will be restored to your life soon.
namaste' dear stephanie ~
sammy
i am not at liberty to discuss anything about a cybersex case that i am currently assisting a defense team on; however, i will say this - geri has offered you some extremely sound advice and i know her intent was not to hurt or support you; rather to empower you as to the consequences of such acts.
in addition to marital counseling, you may want to seek legal counsel just to see where you stand in the mess. i don't usually respond to messages such as this; but the seriousness of what you wrote concerned me. and i must add that i'm a bit baffled in that i have been online for 7 years now - never heard of IMVU (although there's a lot i've never heard of on the internet) and you stated your husband has been online for 7 days and he sure knew how to access it. this IMVU site piqued my interest after reading your message earlier this morning, so i googled it and went there. have you read their entire terms of use, which is linked at the bottom of their home page?
i'm so sorry you and your family are going through this and pray that some semblance of serenity will be restored to your life soon.
namaste' dear stephanie ~
sammy
