Want To Ignore Someone

Unfortunately, I ran into someone on the board who does not sit well with me. Is there a way to ignore him/her to keep myself from seeing replies from this person? Thx. - Chris
Chris- I won't reply to you again. I will however, continue to advise people that cross addiction and contiinued drug and alcohol use is not the answer.

Fortunately, you can not turn on "ignore" on this board, just as you don't have an ignore switch in AA, rehabs or during interventions.

People who find themselves those situations sometimes use their own "internal" ignore switches and use them with unfortunate results.
Chris, Danny has been a member of this board for along time. He is entilted to his opinion just like you are and just like I am. Maybe you should really try listening to what he has to say instead of going off. Shantel
Shantel

I don't think "going off" is the appropriate word for Chris' actions.
Then I'll just skip them, and continue posting here not only for myself, but also to offer help to anyone who needs a listener.

Shantal, I need to deal with this my way. Read my other posts since Friday the 6th and you will learn more about me. Also, I am not saying my way is the right way or the wrong way, if relapse, then of course a different action is needed, and I will listen if it comes to that.

The meeting I went through said if you find a negative in your life, find a way to stay away from it. For instance, breaking ties with one childhood friend,who is still an opiate addict. It made me cry. I told him not to call me unless he meets me at a designated address, which is a meeting, where I'll hold the door open for him. Even if he does not enter, and after a few words, sadly, I will walk in without him.

Let's all pray one day he walks in with me. - Chris
Chris:

Hi! I don't know if I have posted to you before, but I have watched your posts when I have been able to be online. I am very glad you made it to a meeting and that you have had 12 days off of opiates.

I wanted to share something with you from the first days of my detox. I was so sick. A mess...and the pain and anguish I was feeling physically was just over the top. I suffer from severe muscle cramps...I am a painter, and sometimes work very large scale and usually 7 days a week. The "pathological" physical activity can sometimes lead to painful issues in my arms, neck and shoulders. I was "prescribed" soma to help with these issues, at bedtime. (Soma would make me basically unable to function...so I only took them at bedtime).

Because I am an addict, and because I was accustomed to dealing with the world by taking a pill...or several, I posted to question to a member: "Should I take a soma to help with these awful leg cramps?". Seemed logical to me. Thank God this member (Cowgirl) had the courage and insight to be honest with me. She asked, how can you get yourself clean taking pills? She was right. She offered advice that I should flush them, which I did. At that point I was so scared of the addictive behavior I had exhibited, I wanted no more of that lifestyle. As addicts, we certainly do tend to trade one drug for another. Read up, that isn't just Danny's opinion...it is a fact.

Here is the thing that is alarming. And I say this because I would love to see you make it out of this cycle, not because I am admonishing you.

After only 12 days of clean time with a substance you are taking two substances...xanax and alcohol. Alcohol is PURELY recreational...that should concern you as well, IMO.

I am not of the school that thinks that all addicts, (ie, a painpill addict can never take a drink) or that an alcoholic can never take a pain pill, etc. But I am of the school that you need "clean" time before you can make any choices about any of those issues. It is a dangerous area, it is grey in my mind...yet untried for me...and I have just had 10 months sober. I am also very social, but that doesn't give me a pass. And Tim is right, if you spoke in the meeting about using xanax, prescription or not, and drank...they would not consider you having clean time. It isnt that you take xanax that troubles me so much as the fact that when you first posted it, you said: "which is how I deal with the world".

That is exactly how I described my pain pill use...before I realized I was an addict and really just feeding my hole. These are things you must examine...and dig deep to understand, with a therapist or sponsor or someone with a little more experience than yourself. Also, a physician, unless an addiction specialist, really isn't qualified to "understand" addiction. And I say this with utmost respect for Drs. Mine gave me the soma...and would have given me xanax for my anxiety during detox, except I said please, NO. Drs. write prescriptions. That is just what they do.

I would be lying if I didn't say that red flags seem to pop up in your posts. (just my opinion). While I sincerely applaud your going to the meeting...and honestly feel so happy for your and honor your courage...I also do not agree with you taking narcotics and drinking so early in your journey. It seems off to me. At the very least....if you are one who does not subscribe to the theory of a substance is a substance is a substance, which most in the AA/NA program do...you could have the courtesy of not mentioning any use on this forum. I know of one other long term member here who is not addicted to pain medication, but another substance, she posts here often, and for medical reasons must take medication from time to time...she would never mention this on the forum because she wouldn't want to trigger anyone, or make it seem "okay" to use.

I hope you will find a way to cope with life without the use of xanax. Xanax is a powerful "life force" zapping drug. There are tremendous tools for coping in very healthy ways in the martial arts, yoga and meditation techniques. I just want to offer you the possibility that life can be drug free. As for your two bailey's on the weekend...maybe you aren't an addict, just habituated...in which case you may be able to drink responsibly....but it seems like this isn't the place for that debate or conversation. Out of respect for others, you may want to keep that to yourself.

Lastly...I will say this....Your lying to your fiancee about your use, abuse, sobriety is very sad to me. If you are marrying someone, you, me, all of us, should be able to tell them anything and everything. Honesty is the cornerstone of recovery. I will pray for your courage to tell your fiancee....and for the courage of your fiancee to hear you with an open heart, and open ears.

I close by saying keep going to meetings, keep learning, keep listening...and be open to the fact that you may not have all the answers. Most here truly want to help and only offer their experience, hope and wisdom. Sometimes, we don't hear what we want to hear and get defensive....and sometimes it is these very voices which are the ones we come to trust the most over time.

Good Luck and Peace.

Sarah
Sarah, Thanks for posting that. Shantel
Chris........

Danny is a great guy, and very knowedgeable when it comes to many things.........He grows on you :) j/k Danny. But really he has helped so many, and at first I had a hard time dealing with his very "straight forward" approach, but then realized he had a whole lot to offer, a whole lot.

You are going through what may be the hardest time in your life, I can remember everyday just thanking god I could take a shower when I was detoxing, and even that took a couple days to get the energy :) Gonna do it again too, so I can relate, Coming off sub really fast right now.

You are inspiring others by telling your story, and that is so important here.

We need more of this around here.

I think Danny is great as are you.............I think once you got to know him even a little, you would change your mind in a big way.

But lets all remember he is going through a tough time right now, emotions run super high, I know that for sure :)

Take it easy Chris.......

Big Hugs to you and Danny

Sarah:

You are my hero dawg!!!

Chris...You seem so enthusiastic and positive about your opiate detox and starting on recovery. I know you are smart enough to have researched xanax and the reprecussions of using even as prescribed for anything but a short and I mean short (2wks max) time. Danny used as Rx and I abused large amts during one of my last detoxes...I am lucky to be alive today as is Danny. So that is where he is coming from I am sure. Really Chris, you don't need that benzo to deal or face the world. Believe me those things will put you in an alternate universe sooner or later. Danny speaks from his heart about this issue. I don't agree with everything he says or sometimes his delivery, but on the subject of the good and bad points of xanax? There are no good points really lol...

Keep up all your hard work. Your enthusiasm and determination are so refreshing to see here. I wish you continued success and look forward to seeing you post. Oh and for what it's worth, I agree that "marriage" not just recovery. is based on honesty. I don't know how soon you plan to marry but you might give some thought to coming "clean' with the most important person in your life. It certainly would be a good test to see how your relationship can handle what life hands you two? It's my opinion that I can tell how well I am doing when troubles hit. Not when everything is hunky dory and I'm not challenged in any way. Anyhoo, just my two cents.

Have a great night,

Jan
Sarah,

Good to see you, as always is, I have an opinion on this one........

It is not ALWAYS the best decision to tell your spouse, I believe.

That is a very personal decision, that can and DOES ruin marriages all the time.

This is something the individual has to think long and hard about.

I agree honesty is best of course, but you never know of one's situation, until you are walking in there shoes.

Just a thought.

Hope you are well.

Hugs.
Chris he is a freaking cubs fan cut him some slack.

What has been posted that makes you write you want to ignore a pretty smart caring persons opinions. advice? etc as i have no idea there was a problem.

?Jeff
Before I marry Tina I will tell her this, I have about a year to do it...I suspect it will be sometime way before the marriage.

As for xanax, I have to listen to medical professionals before I listen to total strangers, not trying to be mean....but it is common sense. - Chris
Chris,

Glad you will tell your fiance. Smart move in my opinion. I will hold my opinion of doctors that Rx Xanax to myself :) Seems smart to me though to at least listen to people that have been there ya know? Experience counts for a lot. Worth some serious consideration don't you think?

Jan
I agree about the honesty, but it all depends onthe PARTNER for sure.

Say a couple has been married for years and years and,What if in small talk years ago one's partner has said, "If you ever use any drugs, I am gone"

Do you still tell?

I have heard those say they are glad they told, and others say........they would never do it again.

Every situation is different.

Chris:

Maybe you should tell your story, and your plan to wait a year to share the truth with your fiancee over on the friends and families site within this forum.

Those folks can offer you real insight into what it is like to be on the other side.

I gain so much from reading over there...and it helps me with dialogue I know I need to have with my husband. Sometimes, he has issues with my past addiction that he doesn't even realize he has! LOL, and I bring them up because I read about them there and it helps us share.

Jody: In all of my life, in all of my varied situations and experiences...I have never seen a lie, or the lack of the truth serve me, or anyone else. Not even little white lies. This, of course, works for me.

S.
Who is telling you to take Xanax? Sorry, I am looking but cant find that.

QUOTE
As for xanax, I have to listen to medical professionals before I listen to total strangers, not trying to be mean....but it is common sense

Have you told the prescribing medical professionals that you have an addiction problem?

Keep doing the next right thing.

Cheers,
Gina
Sarah,

I really feel it depends on the partner, There are those who have children and there entire lives at stake, and they may tell and lose everything they hold dear to them. That is what I mean.

I see both sides on this, JMO




Sorry CHRIS I misunderstood on the Xanax part............I was lost once again :) Sorry.

I really do enjoy your posts though, and you inspire me, your determination is amazing. There is alot of encouragement here, and so many who have been through it and understand, ............Danny included. Those who have been there, have a different insight than others sometimes.

Chris-

Just some general observations, ok?

First, you are taking Xanax to prevent you from telling people to f*** off. Did you forget to take it today because thats pretty much what you told me.to do. ;-)

Second, I too listened to my Doctor, who told me I needed to take Xanax..for what..oh ya...business stress....wrong.

Third, are you saying you can't do your job without chemical assistance? You are in the wrong line of work if that is so. There are ways to handle business stress sans drugs or alcohol. I know that.

I know I said I wouldnt post, but these issues are something very familiar to me.
Jodi, (hey girlie girl)

Chris isn't married yet. Already in a marriage and telling? I guess every situation is different. Secrets though..not good I think. Each has to decide what is right for their own situation. Just throwing my opinion out there.

Chris, I just read your post about your shrink, GP and anxiety disorder. I think you are doing great kickin the opiates...I'm happy you are under a physicians care. I think tackling everything at once wouldn't be a good idea anyway.

Oh, do you play slow pitch or fast pitch softball? I'm a huge fan, my husband used to pitch and both daughters were helluva players....Congrats on your double! Keep enjoying life!

Jan