I'm having such a bad day as far as cravings go for pain pills. It's all I've been thinking about since I got out of bed this morning. Every fiber of my body is telling me to use. I don't have anything in the house, thank god. But I did go to and internet site and started ordering, put in all the info, then closed it down before ordering..And the bad part is I don't even know why the desire is so strong today. I'm trying to make it thru until my meeting tonite at 6 pm. I have been clean since Dec 12th. God, I need help and encouragement from this board today.
Sharon
Hi,
This Too Shall Pass.......Hang in there, I hated those slogans when I felt like s--t
Your having what sounds like an obsession. Don't pick up, it could be your last obsession!!
I been there too. 5 minutes from success is what they told me. It's ok to want to use, but, you don't have to!
When I felt like that, I told myself, ok I wanna use but I'll do it tomorrow.
It worked for me....One minute at a time........I'll be praying for ya'.............
Take care......................God bless...............................................Bob
This Too Shall Pass.......Hang in there, I hated those slogans when I felt like s--t
Your having what sounds like an obsession. Don't pick up, it could be your last obsession!!
I been there too. 5 minutes from success is what they told me. It's ok to want to use, but, you don't have to!
When I felt like that, I told myself, ok I wanna use but I'll do it tomorrow.
It worked for me....One minute at a time........I'll be praying for ya'.............
Take care......................God bless...............................................Bob
sharon
hello. i am sorry for your pain. you havent used since december and you feel it today wow i am just starting to ween and feel like i want to jump out of my skin. i sure dont want to be around me today. what is your very very favorite thing to do? can you do it to help keep your mind off of how you feel? do you realize if there is somehting that triggered this feeling? perhaps write in a journal. I am sorry i dont have a real answer for you and i do it one hour at a time. how smart are you that you have a 6 pm meeting tonight. you are doing everything right and i pray you find the strength to continue to be yourself without the addict self overcoming YOU CAN DO IT
hang in
so proud of you (since december - awesome)
crystal
hello. i am sorry for your pain. you havent used since december and you feel it today wow i am just starting to ween and feel like i want to jump out of my skin. i sure dont want to be around me today. what is your very very favorite thing to do? can you do it to help keep your mind off of how you feel? do you realize if there is somehting that triggered this feeling? perhaps write in a journal. I am sorry i dont have a real answer for you and i do it one hour at a time. how smart are you that you have a 6 pm meeting tonight. you are doing everything right and i pray you find the strength to continue to be yourself without the addict self overcoming YOU CAN DO IT
hang in
so proud of you (since december - awesome)
crystal
Hi Sharon......
Wow, since December huh? Good for you! I am no expert and have no great words of wisdom to share, I just started posting today. But I can say that you are so great for having held on this long! And everyone would be proud of you for closing that internet site......that takes so much strength when those drugs are so readily available. I had started getting mine off the web too. So easy.
Well, I stopped taking vicodin and I was hanging in there yesterday. I think it was because I had taken several of them pretty late sunday night and when I got home from work last night at 5:30 PM. I laid down and went right to sleep. I was exhausted. Now I know why. In the middle of the night I kept waking up feeling like my heart was jumping and my hands, fingers and feet are in so much pain. This morning started the torture of today. .
Tonight I am going to try the hot shower/bath and heating pads. Maybe try that.
I wish I was more help. But I am still so happy that you didnt order the pills. I know the temptation.
Wow, since December huh? Good for you! I am no expert and have no great words of wisdom to share, I just started posting today. But I can say that you are so great for having held on this long! And everyone would be proud of you for closing that internet site......that takes so much strength when those drugs are so readily available. I had started getting mine off the web too. So easy.
Well, I stopped taking vicodin and I was hanging in there yesterday. I think it was because I had taken several of them pretty late sunday night and when I got home from work last night at 5:30 PM. I laid down and went right to sleep. I was exhausted. Now I know why. In the middle of the night I kept waking up feeling like my heart was jumping and my hands, fingers and feet are in so much pain. This morning started the torture of today. .
Tonight I am going to try the hot shower/bath and heating pads. Maybe try that.
I wish I was more help. But I am still so happy that you didnt order the pills. I know the temptation.
Sharon, I know that you go to meetings to some extent. I do not know where you are at as far as the steps go, but two bits of advice that worked for me:
1. Don't use even if you a*s fall off.
2. If you get squirrelly, try working a step.
Just in case you have never seen it, I have posted below the thrid step prayer. Think of your cravings as difficulties. I recomend committing this to memory and using as necessary, but no less than twice per day. It helps not only with the obsession to use, but also with the pride that blocks us from working the steps, and the fear associated with cancer.
We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him
August
1. Don't use even if you a*s fall off.
2. If you get squirrelly, try working a step.
Just in case you have never seen it, I have posted below the thrid step prayer. Think of your cravings as difficulties. I recomend committing this to memory and using as necessary, but no less than twice per day. It helps not only with the obsession to use, but also with the pride that blocks us from working the steps, and the fear associated with cancer.
We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!" We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him
August
August,
I love the Third Step Prayer. Thankyou for posting it.
Also, if I haven't metioned it before, you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Good luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you.
And thankyou for so many inspiring posts. I admire your strength and courage.
I truley believe God does for us what we cannot do for ourselvevs.
As long as we remember it's up to us to do the foot work,
Take care.........................................God bless..............................Bob
Every time I put ZZ Top on now I think of you!! lol Take care.bro. Talk to you later
I love the Third Step Prayer. Thankyou for posting it.
Also, if I haven't metioned it before, you are in our thoughts and prayers.
Good luck tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you.
And thankyou for so many inspiring posts. I admire your strength and courage.
I truley believe God does for us what we cannot do for ourselvevs.
As long as we remember it's up to us to do the foot work,
Take care.........................................God bless..............................Bob
Every time I put ZZ Top on now I think of you!! lol Take care.bro. Talk to you later
Thanks everyone, for all of your encouraging words. I posted then got ready and went to my meeting. Got there really early, sat out outside in my car for awhile,very emotional, felt the tears ready to pour, so disappointed in myself for wanting to use today. Then got out of the car and went in, luckily one of the counselors came thru. Taked to him, told him how I was feeling and got some words of wisdom from him and during the meeting sort of felt like he was directing things towards me to help me. I was hanging on to every word, just anything to help redirect these feelings.
August I am working on the 12 steps and I've done a lot of praying today.
Do I feel better, yes. Am I still craving, yes. Will I use today,no. I'll be putting another check on the calendar tomorrow,and hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Thanks to everyone that responded. I really needed to vent to people who understand.
Sharon
August I am working on the 12 steps and I've done a lot of praying today.
Do I feel better, yes. Am I still craving, yes. Will I use today,no. I'll be putting another check on the calendar tomorrow,and hopefully tomorrow will be better.
Thanks to everyone that responded. I really needed to vent to people who understand.
Sharon
Sharon, words simply cannot express how much strength and courage I am drawing from you right now. People have been kind in saying things like that to me, but frankly, you are the one who is "standing on the brink," and you are doing all the right things: you are praying (keep doing this even if you feel like you are faking it. You will be contacted), you opened up to the counselor and you made the meeting at a time when you were feeling vulnerable and exposed.
This is true courage in the face of true adversity. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear; it is your positive action in moving through the fear.
Sharon, I was told early on that sooner or later, there comes a moment of truth where nothing will stand between you and using other than your faith in your higher power. Look to HP, Sharon. Let go. I promise you he will not let you fall.
If you have to, take it one minute at a time, but please hang in there. I will be checking this site throughout the evening to see if you have posted anything. (No obligation to you). You are so very much in my prayers right now.
Sharon, pray with gratitude for the unseen relief that is already making its way to you.
My apologies if I gush, but when I was where you were at, I learned for the first time in my life what faith is all about.
With the greatest love and respect,
August
This is true courage in the face of true adversity. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear; it is your positive action in moving through the fear.
Sharon, I was told early on that sooner or later, there comes a moment of truth where nothing will stand between you and using other than your faith in your higher power. Look to HP, Sharon. Let go. I promise you he will not let you fall.
If you have to, take it one minute at a time, but please hang in there. I will be checking this site throughout the evening to see if you have posted anything. (No obligation to you). You are so very much in my prayers right now.
Sharon, pray with gratitude for the unseen relief that is already making its way to you.
My apologies if I gush, but when I was where you were at, I learned for the first time in my life what faith is all about.
With the greatest love and respect,
August
GOOD JOB YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION TO US ALL!!!!
crystal
crystal
Oh boy Crystal, I sure don't feel like an ispiration tonite.Wish I could just turn these feelings off, but I am so glad of the support I get from this board. With the cravings today, I didn't go to this site until after I found myself ordering Loratab from the internet. I shut it down and immediately went to this message board, I just needed someone to hear me and listen compassionately. Tonite I'm anxious, can't concentrate, searching, I don't know how to explain it. Feel as if my body is all nerve fibers. Just a couple more hours and I can hopefully lay down and sleep and pray to god that tomorrow is better, if it's not I can double up on the meetings, go morning and evening. I'm going to plan my day tomorrow better than I did today and not get into my head as much. The bad thing is I still have my debit card laying here in front of me. Sad isn't it that I would throw 3 + months of sobietry away like this. But if I can stay on this message board and pray just a little harder, I might be ok.
Thanks for listening.
Sharon
Thanks for listening.
Sharon
August, what a heel I feel like. Here I've been whining away about my day and you have CT scans to be done on Thursday. I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers go out to you. My whining is over.
Sharon
Sharon
you are an inspriation to me!
can you tell me - did something trigger this feeling do you know or does it just come out of nowhere?
i am sorry for asking, but i just couldnt resist.
of course you dont have to answer if you dont want to
i am praying htat you feel better and just know you have come a long way and you deserve to stay whole and you deserve all the love in the world
to me you seem amazingly strong and keep loving yourself you are special and loved by many
best of everything
crystal
can you tell me - did something trigger this feeling do you know or does it just come out of nowhere?
i am sorry for asking, but i just couldnt resist.
of course you dont have to answer if you dont want to
i am praying htat you feel better and just know you have come a long way and you deserve to stay whole and you deserve all the love in the world
to me you seem amazingly strong and keep loving yourself you are special and loved by many
best of everything
crystal
Crystal,
That's what blindsided me today, the cravings came out of no where. Yesterday when I went to group, I was feeling so good, felt great about being in recovery, spoke up in group and said I like everything about being clean. Then today, these feelings. But thank God I didn't use, because I could have picked up the phone and had pills in my hands in no time also.
Just for today, I'm clean, and tomorrow's another day.
Sharon
That's what blindsided me today, the cravings came out of no where. Yesterday when I went to group, I was feeling so good, felt great about being in recovery, spoke up in group and said I like everything about being clean. Then today, these feelings. But thank God I didn't use, because I could have picked up the phone and had pills in my hands in no time also.
Just for today, I'm clean, and tomorrow's another day.
Sharon
i always feel like using but fight that urge and am so glad when i succeed. i hated using pills and feel so much better without them. selective memory makes us remember the high and forget all of the bad that goes along with using pills. don't give in to your cravings- they are only a trick. they trick your brain into thinking that using is a good way to live when in reality we know that it is debilitating. using pills is not a good way to live. it controls your every thought. you are doing so well and winning the battle. keep winning and fighting!
Hi Sharon,
like crystal says, you are an insperation to us all!!! Hang in there girl, like you said you've got another tick to put on your calendar so you should be SOOO proud of yourself, for not giving in and being able to put that tick on the calender, my thoughts are with ya
Love
Gabbi
like crystal says, you are an insperation to us all!!! Hang in there girl, like you said you've got another tick to put on your calendar so you should be SOOO proud of yourself, for not giving in and being able to put that tick on the calender, my thoughts are with ya
Love
Gabbi
Sharon, if "whining" keeps you sober, please, do so! This board is here to help others in their recovery, and from my perspective, I have been leaning on you.
you need to understand that what you are (were? It will pass) going through is a part of getting sober. My worst attacks occurred at around the three week, three month, and nine month (Christmas) points but there were others. During those attacks, we have to look to the work we have done in recovery to carry us through.
The only reason I am talking at all about CAT scans, is that they are connected to a certain level of unconscious fear I have. That fear makes me have really evil dreams, and it creates stress that triggers pain (the fear/pain spiral) anbd with that, I can find myself upping my use of the pain pills. If I can dispel the fear by "whining" (I use that term in a funny sense, like if I snap a leg in two or three places and am yelling in pain, I call that "whining"), then I am less likely to turn to that pill bottle when the fear internalizes as pain.
All the best,
August
you need to understand that what you are (were? It will pass) going through is a part of getting sober. My worst attacks occurred at around the three week, three month, and nine month (Christmas) points but there were others. During those attacks, we have to look to the work we have done in recovery to carry us through.
The only reason I am talking at all about CAT scans, is that they are connected to a certain level of unconscious fear I have. That fear makes me have really evil dreams, and it creates stress that triggers pain (the fear/pain spiral) anbd with that, I can find myself upping my use of the pain pills. If I can dispel the fear by "whining" (I use that term in a funny sense, like if I snap a leg in two or three places and am yelling in pain, I call that "whining"), then I am less likely to turn to that pill bottle when the fear internalizes as pain.
All the best,
August
Hi Sharon,
You are inspiring me. From what I am hearing, these feelings can stay with us for a long time. Had I ever known this would all happen, I would have never taken them. I would have ran when the oral surgeon prescribed it and just taken something else. At least I hope that I would.
It does scare me that a person can not take the pills for months and then have a day like you had yesterday where you are craving and miserable.
How are you feeling today?
You are inspiring me. From what I am hearing, these feelings can stay with us for a long time. Had I ever known this would all happen, I would have never taken them. I would have ran when the oral surgeon prescribed it and just taken something else. At least I hope that I would.
It does scare me that a person can not take the pills for months and then have a day like you had yesterday where you are craving and miserable.
How are you feeling today?
hi sharon and new beginning
wondering how you are doing today and hope that you both feel better today than yesterday
i am not too good. very very sad and lonely. i am just waiting to feel a little good and a little happy.
crystal
thinking of everyone and praying that we all find peace within ourselves
wondering how you are doing today and hope that you both feel better today than yesterday
i am not too good. very very sad and lonely. i am just waiting to feel a little good and a little happy.
crystal
thinking of everyone and praying that we all find peace within ourselves
Hi Crystal,
Very nice of you to ask. As for me, I am not doing so hot. I went to lunch with a friend and started crying at the restaraunt table. I blamed it on work and family stress (which I definitely have) but did not tell her what the reason is. That my body and mind are getting rid of this junk and I am trying to heal.
Physically, I have to run to the restroom at least 2-3 times and it isnt pretty. I have been drinking water like crazy because I feel so dehydrated. My head is pounding, I am sooooo emotional, and this pain in my hands and feet is scaring me.
I dont know if the pain I am feeling in my hands and feet is normal for withdrawal. I am concerned that it could be arthritis or something.
I am sorry to hear you are feeling lousy today. ~hugs~
I am here if you want to talk. I know what brings us together really really stinks, but at least we have all of each other to talk to.
Very nice of you to ask. As for me, I am not doing so hot. I went to lunch with a friend and started crying at the restaraunt table. I blamed it on work and family stress (which I definitely have) but did not tell her what the reason is. That my body and mind are getting rid of this junk and I am trying to heal.
Physically, I have to run to the restroom at least 2-3 times and it isnt pretty. I have been drinking water like crazy because I feel so dehydrated. My head is pounding, I am sooooo emotional, and this pain in my hands and feet is scaring me.
I dont know if the pain I am feeling in my hands and feet is normal for withdrawal. I am concerned that it could be arthritis or something.
I am sorry to hear you are feeling lousy today. ~hugs~
I am here if you want to talk. I know what brings us together really really stinks, but at least we have all of each other to talk to.
Thanks for everyone's suport. I am feeling some better, have things in a better perspective, and did not use yesterday and have not today. I have something to look forward to, my education group starts at 5pm until 6pm then I have group from 6pm until 8pm so I'm excited. May not mean much to some others but it does to me, it puts my recovery on the front burner for 3 hrs and will give me tools to deal with recovery. I know that some people don't even want to consider going to NA or AA or PA and at first I was very reluctant (to put it mildly) but its what works for me. When I came to the realization that I was addicted to opiates and that it is a disease, I wanted to learn as much as possible about my disease and what I could do to keep it from killing me. To me knowledge is power, if you have diabetes, cancer, ect., don't you learn as much as you can about the disease and don't you do everything in your power to keep it in check and wouldn't you do everything you could to keep it from killing you?
Didn't mean to go off on a rant there, but I'm very passionate about group therapy. For those that feel they don't need it or want it, that's your choice and I'm readily willing to admit that what works for me may not work for someone else. But make sure it's not your ego that's keeping you away from getting you all the help that you deserve. Do you really have to be in control of everything, will that make you ultimately feel better than me because you did it on your own?
Sorry, got to preaching again, gonna get put in the fire over this one, but I can take it.
Just for today.............
Sharon
Didn't mean to go off on a rant there, but I'm very passionate about group therapy. For those that feel they don't need it or want it, that's your choice and I'm readily willing to admit that what works for me may not work for someone else. But make sure it's not your ego that's keeping you away from getting you all the help that you deserve. Do you really have to be in control of everything, will that make you ultimately feel better than me because you did it on your own?
Sorry, got to preaching again, gonna get put in the fire over this one, but I can take it.
Just for today.............
Sharon
