and why is it that everyone has to be so mean to each other?? I guess if you go around lieing and someone finds out the truth by you conterdicting yourself, thats one thing. But im realy scared to keep writing. I came here so i wouldnt be judged and i wanted to tell my storys and get some type of answers to my questions. I wanted help from people i didnt even know anf i asked that of all of you.
I have no idea who some of the people on this site are and i dont know all the storys to go with the names. But i do know that if i wanted to fight i could do that in my own family and neiborhood.!! I dont want to here about people judging people on here too!
For those of you who think this is none of my buisiness, thats o.k. to, but when i need help i have tried to post something and nobody will write to me because there all caught up in the drama of everyone fighting here.
My question to all of you who have lied and had the BIG fights on this bored is...... Is this what a recovery bored is all about?? Cause i need help from someone and i dont know if i should keep looking or stop altogheather. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG-I HAD ALOT TO SAY, I GUESS!!!
If that didnt make anyone mad, Im still wanting to talk about some probloms that i need help with. Is any one there???
Christina (a.k.a. FRIEND)
Hey Christina,
Feel free to vent away....I will help as much as I can. Bear with me I will be jumping on and off trying to get the dishes done.
(Have no idea about the drama either and I think I am really glad about that.)
Tina
Feel free to vent away....I will help as much as I can. Bear with me I will be jumping on and off trying to get the dishes done.
(Have no idea about the drama either and I think I am really glad about that.)
Tina
The begining of what i had started to write was not posted. Only half of the stuff i wrote was put on there so im sure that it sounded funny. The part that was not on there was that im so confused. I thought that this is suppost to be a place where we can come and tell the truth about things and not be judged and have our questions answered or talk about the different answers to things..
This is actually making me not want to write because of fear that somone might try to judge me and start a fight. What is happening??
Christina(friend)
P.s. Thats why i have that pretend name, because i needed a friend that would talk to me.
This is actually making me not want to write because of fear that somone might try to judge me and start a fight. What is happening??
Christina(friend)
P.s. Thats why i have that pretend name, because i needed a friend that would talk to me.
Well talk say what you have to say. I really don't know what is going on but think of it as the presidential debate each side presents really good points but neither side is completely right.....LOL you know what I mean.
So what is happening in your life today that has got you in a tizzy.
No one will judge you.
So what is happening in your life today that has got you in a tizzy.
No one will judge you.
There isnt anything putting me in a tizzy, its just that every post that i have read today has someone hurting someone eles. It makes me not want to write. Thats not what its suppost to be about. Its suppost to be about support and to have help when you need it and an ear to listen to when you have a problom. Well, maybe im wrong, but thats what i thought anyway.
Christina.
Christina.
I think Jerry Springer directing this show lol
Does anyone out there agree with me,or am i just haveing a bad attitude day??
Christina
Christina
Christina..if reading the bothersome posts are upsetting, stop reading them and go to another or do like you did and start your own thread.
I haven't talked to you yet and you seem to be really hurting. How can I help? What's going on in your every day life? Sometimes just getting through the day is hell, but when we are clean, it's huge. It's one more day of not using.
Cowgirl
I haven't talked to you yet and you seem to be really hurting. How can I help? What's going on in your every day life? Sometimes just getting through the day is hell, but when we are clean, it's huge. It's one more day of not using.
Cowgirl
Chris- keep venting away. We all need a reality check now and then! Great post.
You are absolutly correct. That is what this site is all about. In a perfect world that probably would hold true. It is funny something happened a few days to start all this off. Really not sure what......but it is the first time that I have seen the board this crazy since I started coming here. I promise that you will not be judged and that you will find that mostly all the people on here give out wonderful advice. What you have to realize and I brought this up awhile ago is that sometimes we don't really have everyone's story......meaning that we know drugs are involved but we don't know what the hell they might be dealing with in their lives. So they may be hurtful with their advice because they are also hurting and don't know how to deal. Or on the other end someone may be to harsh to another not knowing that their self esteem is stripped from something else in there lives......do you kind of see what I mean
I hope this helped you alittle.....don't be afraid to post.
Tina
I hope this helped you alittle.....don't be afraid to post.
Tina
Hey Danny how are you doing today? (got snow yet lol)
Now thats what im talking about.
Thanks for replying, dannyob, cowgirl, and mistyeyes. I am having some probloms, but the biggest one is that there dosnt seem to be any one to talk to . I have tried for 4 days to stay buisy and to keep up with things and it just seems to be getting worse by the hour.
To anyone with advice, im having trouble with the holiday thats coming up. Normaly, i cant evven leave my house without knowing that i have enough pills to get me through the day and now i have to go to my fiancee's parents house and meet his family. Its horrid to think about what it might be like. Can you imagine, withdrawls and meeting the family for the first time??? I already know his parents, i grew up with them. Its the aunts and uncles that want to meet my children and i . What in gods name should i do??HELP,please anyone, dannyob, cowgirl, mistyeyes, anyone who is reading. I could realy use your 2 cents at this point. Im not a losser and im not a bad person and i want to have them like me. But its not gonna happen if im standing there shaking and feeling miserable.
PLEASE, HELP... NEED ADVISE.
Christina(a.k.a. FRIEND)
Thanks for replying, dannyob, cowgirl, and mistyeyes. I am having some probloms, but the biggest one is that there dosnt seem to be any one to talk to . I have tried for 4 days to stay buisy and to keep up with things and it just seems to be getting worse by the hour.
To anyone with advice, im having trouble with the holiday thats coming up. Normaly, i cant evven leave my house without knowing that i have enough pills to get me through the day and now i have to go to my fiancee's parents house and meet his family. Its horrid to think about what it might be like. Can you imagine, withdrawls and meeting the family for the first time??? I already know his parents, i grew up with them. Its the aunts and uncles that want to meet my children and i . What in gods name should i do??HELP,please anyone, dannyob, cowgirl, mistyeyes, anyone who is reading. I could realy use your 2 cents at this point. Im not a losser and im not a bad person and i want to have them like me. But its not gonna happen if im standing there shaking and feeling miserable.
PLEASE, HELP... NEED ADVISE.
Christina(a.k.a. FRIEND)
Misty, no snow yet thank God!!!!!!!!! I'm doing Ok I guess. Just trying to "work it". I have a flu so I'm feeling sick outside of addiction, but this stuff kicks peoples "a**es".
Oh, sweetiepie..of course your not a loser or a bad person. We're not bad people trying to be good, we're sick people trying to get better. I totally relate to what your saying about being in w/d and having to do something as energy zapping as the holidays. This will be my first holiday clean in a very long time. I couldn't do anything with the pills. They were my courage. It's going to take a long time to re-learn how to do this. But it will happen. Do you have support at home? Does your boyfriend know what your going through? how about your kids, are they old enough to understand? Telling my children just about killed me, but in the end it has kept me striving to be that better mom that they deserved.
You say you don't have anyone to talk to.. a friend? Mom? Sister? have you tried an NA meeting yet? How many days clean are you now?
Hang in there kiddo...
Love
Cowgirl
You say you don't have anyone to talk to.. a friend? Mom? Sister? have you tried an NA meeting yet? How many days clean are you now?
Hang in there kiddo...
Love
Cowgirl
Friend, it is not uncommon cycle for addicts in recovery. We go along placidly for a while and then a disagreement will start and it often sets off a chain reaction of emotions, actions, and reactions. Hopefully, through the introspective nature of the steps, each of us will learn something in the process and grow just a little bit. Don't worry too much about it. This too shall pass.
August is right..growth will come out of this and yes, as addicts we tend to feel and react instead of think and shut up. Everytime this crap comes up, I take a long look at myself..sometimes I see a need for change other times I just see a need to ignore.
Hope you have a better night.
Cowgirl
Hope you have a better night.
Cowgirl
You know that all you really have to do is be yourself. I am a big believer in if you don't like me the way I am then the hell with you. Now I am not sure that is what you needed to hear so I offer you this. Go and do the best you can that day. Don't expect to much but give it all you got. It is great that you already know his parents......if you like them that should give you an indication of how the rest of the family might be. Help with getting dinner ready or find a comfortable place for yourself make chit chat. The fact that your kids are going to be there is a big help. When I feel uncomfortable somewhere I tend to go off with all the kids.....and just be a mommy. I sit and play and you would be surprised at who you draw in. Before I know it others will join just to watch the kids too. Conversation starts and your not so uncomfortable anymore. I hoped I helped you in someway. I wish you all the luck in the world on this one.....I do remember the first time I met the husband parents.....
Tina
Tina
I do have a wonderful fiancee. He is the one helping me with my "problom" and he actually found me this site to ask questions to. My very first time on a computer.(ha, ha, ha)
I have him to talk to and he is my best friend. I just feel bad because he thinks i am super woman and can beat this. It just takes alittle bit for me to get used to.
I know this might sound stupid but, Im NOT CLEAN, at least not yet. Im working on that right now though. I tried to go cold turkey and i just wasnt strong enough. I have to figure out my probloms one step at a time. First, its the mental addiction, and im almost past that. I keep counting the pills to make sure i have enough for things i want to do. But thats over now @ least 80% of that is gone if not more. I started the "tapper" thing last sunday and i have gone from about 20-30 750mlg pills to about 7 as of today. To me, thats a big improvement. My fiancee is keeping and monitoring the pills for me and he only gives me one if i have already gone threw more and more withdrawls a day.
I just want to say Thank You form the bottom of my HEART for listening to me like this and giving me advise.
Christina(friend)
I have him to talk to and he is my best friend. I just feel bad because he thinks i am super woman and can beat this. It just takes alittle bit for me to get used to.
I know this might sound stupid but, Im NOT CLEAN, at least not yet. Im working on that right now though. I tried to go cold turkey and i just wasnt strong enough. I have to figure out my probloms one step at a time. First, its the mental addiction, and im almost past that. I keep counting the pills to make sure i have enough for things i want to do. But thats over now @ least 80% of that is gone if not more. I started the "tapper" thing last sunday and i have gone from about 20-30 750mlg pills to about 7 as of today. To me, thats a big improvement. My fiancee is keeping and monitoring the pills for me and he only gives me one if i have already gone threw more and more withdrawls a day.
I just want to say Thank You form the bottom of my HEART for listening to me like this and giving me advise.
Christina(friend)
Friend, just realize no one is more important than you. If I cared what "Aunts and Uncles" said, I'd be dead by now. Don't worry about them. Worry about yourself, your BF, getting healthy and thats it. I myself have the flu, so probably won't go to Thanksgiving, for the first time ever. But don't worry about others. Now is "You" time...get healthy, get strong..people who have never been here don't understand...
dannyob, thanks for the reply, i realy think that i might be able to get through this . It just sucks.
O.K. i need some positive reinforcements, i have gone from 25-30 pills a average day to 7 or8 pills a day.Now remember, i have to take 3-5 at a time to get the effect because i became so amune to the drug. As of today, it has only been 4 1/2 pills. Thats a great thing for me . Alot of people think that i am fooling myself into thinking i can get off this pill. But , i feel as if maybe i have done a real good job so far. Am i fooling myself.???
Christina
O.K. i need some positive reinforcements, i have gone from 25-30 pills a average day to 7 or8 pills a day.Now remember, i have to take 3-5 at a time to get the effect because i became so amune to the drug. As of today, it has only been 4 1/2 pills. Thats a great thing for me . Alot of people think that i am fooling myself into thinking i can get off this pill. But , i feel as if maybe i have done a real good job so far. Am i fooling myself.???
Christina
