Well I caved and seen him on saturday, let him stay over, and he kept promising to give me what he owed me on my Visa, which isn't much, its $110, but still, I'm living paycheque to paycheque..and he said I can trust him no matter what! He has been good with giving money that he owes me more recently (the past year). Well when I talked to him last night, he said he got paid. He promised to give me the money he owes. Calls me this afternoon to say that when he comes to see me today he will have a printed statement showing that a cash store he borrowed money from a few months ago just took out what he owed them out of his account and he can't pay me now. I asked what about the extra $200 you had? He said he gave it to his mom towards bills. Ya right, he rarely ever gives her money! I freaked on him, told him I WILL not see him until he has my money in his hand. Why did I trust him? I wish I never would've trusted him but he kept saying I made him lose his job so now he can't pay me, but that he will, just not yet. So is this supposed to be my punishment? He was going to lose his job anyways according to his boss for so many missed days, but we had a deal! He's also made me lose two jobs so he's pretty stupid if he cant see that! I didn't punish him for that!
He hasn't called back, thank God, just about everyone at work could hear me tell him off.
Can the cash store he got a loan from actually go into his account and take his money out?
I think he spent it all on crack is my opinion! And his saying he will get a statement is just to throw me off for awhile. He tries to get back together with me and when I give an inch, he decides to rip me off what he owes me, he tries to eat MY food and try to tell me HE bought it and now he's pulling this crap? Whats wrong with him? Obviously he doesn't really want to work things out that bad! Can't wait to go home in an hour an a half , being at work is so hard when I'm so upset like this.
What do you think? Should I believe him about the cash store is he pulling another one on me?
He's pulling another one on you. The store cannot take money out of his account unless he has authorized it.
Also, you did not lose him his job. He was the one doing the crack remember? He was the one who wasn't showing up for work. Who cares who told them he was doing it. He got fired because of not showing up for work and doing so because of drugs. That is all his doing!!!! Do not accept any blame for that and definitely do not accept any punishment for it.
Sorry - I have to go or I would write more, but my work day is done and I want out of here!!!!
It's Monday! lol
Hope your evening turns out better for you!!
Take care and I'll post to you tomorrow,
Mickey
Also, you did not lose him his job. He was the one doing the crack remember? He was the one who wasn't showing up for work. Who cares who told them he was doing it. He got fired because of not showing up for work and doing so because of drugs. That is all his doing!!!! Do not accept any blame for that and definitely do not accept any punishment for it.
Sorry - I have to go or I would write more, but my work day is done and I want out of here!!!!
It's Monday! lol
Hope your evening turns out better for you!!
Take care and I'll post to you tomorrow,
Mickey
Kitty,
I don't know about cash stores. I caved, too, and now another piece of jewelry is gone. I can't do this again or I'll go nuts. My b/f does share the food bills right in half, but he doesn't assign "ownership" to the meal. I think that his attitude is pretty selfish, if you ask me. I'm going to keep my attitude very low key right now. I have to think about me and my mothers needs at this point. Bob B. is right on his posts and his contributions to the various groups here. I'd get his opinion. Stay strong and remember the 7 Ps, previous prior planning prevents piss poor performance. My dad would often say that to the family. I need to pay more attention to this kind of stuff. I'm sorry you are in such turmoil. Just remember it's him, not you, but he makes you feel guilty, and him the victim. My friend does as well. He'll tell me I lost my jewelry, threw it away, etc. It's never his fault.
I don't know about cash stores. I caved, too, and now another piece of jewelry is gone. I can't do this again or I'll go nuts. My b/f does share the food bills right in half, but he doesn't assign "ownership" to the meal. I think that his attitude is pretty selfish, if you ask me. I'm going to keep my attitude very low key right now. I have to think about me and my mothers needs at this point. Bob B. is right on his posts and his contributions to the various groups here. I'd get his opinion. Stay strong and remember the 7 Ps, previous prior planning prevents piss poor performance. My dad would often say that to the family. I need to pay more attention to this kind of stuff. I'm sorry you are in such turmoil. Just remember it's him, not you, but he makes you feel guilty, and him the victim. My friend does as well. He'll tell me I lost my jewelry, threw it away, etc. It's never his fault.
Oh Hardhead I'm sorry to hear you got scammed again. Why can't we ever learn our lessons? Its funny how they can blame everything on us! Poor guy, everythings my fault, he has such a hard life because of me! He's not even thinking of what he put me through! He had the nerve to call me back but as soon as I heard his voice I hung up on him.
Thanks again Mickey you are right he is probably scamming me again. I bet if I would've told him to bring the statement over, he'd have come to my door and said just open the door and I'll show you. THEN he'd come in and say he didn't have time to go get one, ask my mom! Whenever he needs to back up his lies, he ALWAYS says ask my mom!! Ya well mommy dearest always lies for him!
Or he'll make her life living hell!
Thanks again Mickey you are right he is probably scamming me again. I bet if I would've told him to bring the statement over, he'd have come to my door and said just open the door and I'll show you. THEN he'd come in and say he didn't have time to go get one, ask my mom! Whenever he needs to back up his lies, he ALWAYS says ask my mom!! Ya well mommy dearest always lies for him!
Or he'll make her life living hell!
I am absoulotely NOT defending his actions, but those money stores make you commit way in advance, as to when the money will come out of your account. They set up the payments at the time you borrow, and allow you to pay interest only for a few months, then they hit you with the principal. I borrowed $500.00 and ended paying back around $1000.00. Real stupid of me, but it was during a real bad time in my financial life. Therefore, he may not be scamming you in that aspect. Perhaps the part about giving money to his mother, though. They make you completely crazy, I know, my son is 20 and addicted to oxy. He just came home from rehab. This was his first try at rehab, but his second try to be clean. He is doing real well right now. He has gone to a meeting everyday, like they told him to, and his outpatient treatment starts Wednesday. With all that, I find it very hard to beleive a word he says, even now. You talk about missing jewelry....my husband (his father) gave me a 1-carat diamond wedding ring set for our 20th Anniversary. It had the kids' birthstones on either side of the diamond. Very expensive....$5000.00+. My son pawned it for $40.00. I was tearing for the house looking for it. I begged him to tell me if he pawned it....no questions asked, I said. I just want it back. No, he said, he didn't touch it. That was in May. Finally, he fessed up one month ago, while we were preparing to take him to rehab. If only he would have told me then, I really wouldn't have asked questions. I would have bought it back, and gone on with my life. Now, it's gone. We have a safe and lock everything of value up now. How sad is that? In our own home. I worry about relapse constantly. Reading this board helps, but scares me to death, too. I am not dumb enough to think my son is the only oxy addict who is serious about rehab and will get it the first time. Oh, I hope that is the case, but I am scared to beleive in him. Why should I? He has hurt us so many other times. My 17 year old son sleeps with his wallet in his pillow case. I could go on and on, but the point is, he is my son and I love him. A parents' love for their child is so much more poweful than a love for a man or a woman romantically. Don't feel guilty about how you are treating your boyfriends (or ex-boyfriends?). Live for yourself, and stop letting them put you through hell. You deserve better, and can find it.
Take Care,
Cindy
Thanks Cindy! I guess it is possible but giving his mom money is a lie, I know this. He could've at least given me half. I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through with your son. I always feel like what I'm going through is so traumatic, and it is, but at least I can kick him to the curb, and get over him eventually. It is so much harder when its your own child! I've seen what his and his brothers addiction has done to their mom. All her stuff is gone, pawned to some dealer, she has to be on all kinds of medication, heart meds and diabetes, her health is failing because of her sons. She is always crying and has given up hope. She told me that she kinda wishes they would overdose and die already so she doesn't have to live like this anymore. That is so sad.
Anyways I hope the best for you and your son!
Anyways I hope the best for you and your son!
Well, I got rid of him, and he left my house pretty quickly, and I have no remorse. I'm sure I'll hear from him eventually. He was so quick to pick up on the change in my voice and body language...he even asked, "are you and me OK?" Wonder how often he said that to his ex wife. He even asked for his ring back..........I told him I wouldn't give it back but that I would hock it like he did my jewelry. Had a rash of ****** from him, but I told him if he broke bad in my house and threatened me with violence, I would call Montgomery County police. That seemed to ring a bell with him. I'm tired, putting the iced tea away and going back to bed. Oh, my.
Good for you Hardhead! I hope he leaves you alone. I can't believe he asked for your ring back after he's hocked all your stuff!!
Can you believe these guys?? I guess after everything they've done to us, I can. Nothing amazes me. I remember after my bf came back from rehab, he was wondering why I still had a chain and lock around the handles of my storage cabinet. He said I can trust him! You know whats really really sad? Its not my jewellery I had to lock up or any valuables, its my hair care and body products! The nice expensive face creams, body creams, shampoos, hair styling products that I buy at salons that are expensive is what he steals from me!
Two Christmases ago he bought me a bunch of hair products and when I kicked him out, I found them stashed in his bag! He was stealing them back!
I also have to hide DVD's and videos, he steals those too. Thats how he has built his movie collection..its funny, he built his movie collection by stealing from others, only to have his brother pawn it to his dealer.
Can you believe he phoned me this morning crying saying I'm treating him like crap for going to my gay friends house, (he's another guy gay or not) and for not answering his calls?? After all he's done to me, lying, ripping me off..he expects me to sit around the house waiting for his calls like a good little girl! He's lucky I didn't go over to this other hot guys place for some action who has been calling me!
Can you believe these guys?? I guess after everything they've done to us, I can. Nothing amazes me. I remember after my bf came back from rehab, he was wondering why I still had a chain and lock around the handles of my storage cabinet. He said I can trust him! You know whats really really sad? Its not my jewellery I had to lock up or any valuables, its my hair care and body products! The nice expensive face creams, body creams, shampoos, hair styling products that I buy at salons that are expensive is what he steals from me!
Two Christmases ago he bought me a bunch of hair products and when I kicked him out, I found them stashed in his bag! He was stealing them back!
I also have to hide DVD's and videos, he steals those too. Thats how he has built his movie collection..its funny, he built his movie collection by stealing from others, only to have his brother pawn it to his dealer.
Can you believe he phoned me this morning crying saying I'm treating him like crap for going to my gay friends house, (he's another guy gay or not) and for not answering his calls?? After all he's done to me, lying, ripping me off..he expects me to sit around the house waiting for his calls like a good little girl! He's lucky I didn't go over to this other hot guys place for some action who has been calling me!
Good moring, Kittycat!
I expect to hear from my friend at any time. I'm not worried about it though, I'm actually relieved that he's gone. He even told me I was a "nut." Poor thing. I remember when he gave me the ring, I slept with it on another finger, not my "ring" finger. He said, "dummy." How telling!!! :-)
Well, he's never had a successful relationship in his 47 years, and I suspect he never will. This guy is a basket case, and I guess his family will have to deal with him unless he moves back to SC to his mom's house. I guess he saw me coming!
I expect to hear from my friend at any time. I'm not worried about it though, I'm actually relieved that he's gone. He even told me I was a "nut." Poor thing. I remember when he gave me the ring, I slept with it on another finger, not my "ring" finger. He said, "dummy." How telling!!! :-)
Well, he's never had a successful relationship in his 47 years, and I suspect he never will. This guy is a basket case, and I guess his family will have to deal with him unless he moves back to SC to his mom's house. I guess he saw me coming!
Good morning Hardhead! So he called you a nut..mine always calls me mental, pyscho, you name it. Yup, mine has never had a successful relationship either. Well he's only 25 but I can't see him ever being in a successful relationship to be honest with you.
Have you heard from him yet? I bet its killing my bf not to be able to call me. Good!! I'm actually taking great pleasure in knowing he's having a bad first day at work because of me!
Have you heard from him yet? I bet its killing my bf not to be able to call me. Good!! I'm actually taking great pleasure in knowing he's having a bad first day at work because of me!
hey kitty cat,grrrrrr......sorry to hear that dude done you like that .you have a good heart to give him several chances, lending money but you know when the rock be pullin the addict.....cash innthere hand wont last long.,n that just aint right to lie about his mother n stuff,,i can bout say you never see the cash again,allwaysv gonna be some kinda story,why this that n i ll pay u this that, u never see it.hes probly high laughin,best thing get out while the gettin is good n cut ya losses..hopfully both sides will learn some kinda positive message....i know ive gave my last dollar to a relative.....n im disabled on a fixed income.10$ bucks means if im gonna eat or just sit wonder wat i can sell.its worse if you love or care alot for these people,as ya in a great position to get screwed very fast n easy,my heart goes out to you, you get a few bucks, put in in ya shoe,n dont worry about the rock dude he'll just go scamm some one else or try...best wishes,ken
Sorry to hear what happenned. He will just avoid you for awhile until he needs you again. I am sorry to sound so ugly. Even if the cash store took the money, he will make up something like he lost the slip or he gave it to you. This will buy time until the next time you ask. It makes no sense how they treat others. Remember we come last on their list.
My husband damaged my piano when I left. He said he was upset. Each time he gets upset the piano looks worse. I am surprised it is even standing. He told the kids he wanted to saw it in half. But he calmly says he was just upset.
I would never intentionally damage his things in anger. Afterall, it is purposely meant to hurt the one it belongs to. How can people act that way and sleep at night.
My husband damaged my piano when I left. He said he was upset. Each time he gets upset the piano looks worse. I am surprised it is even standing. He told the kids he wanted to saw it in half. But he calmly says he was just upset.
I would never intentionally damage his things in anger. Afterall, it is purposely meant to hurt the one it belongs to. How can people act that way and sleep at night.
Thanks Wildman and Enabler.
Enabler I've been going through severe depression myself because of him. When does this ever end? He too has damaged things...your poor piano!!
Mines thrown my favorite lamp and broke it, I tried to glue it back together but it won't hold, he's broken my glasses, and on it goes. One night when he really made me mad and pulled a disappearing act and I got drunk I finally had it. ALL his belongings that were at my place ended up either cut up or thrown over the balcony into parking lot. His favorite lava lamp was smashed into the concrete, and what a sight it must've been to see a tall wooden Giraffe that he loved so much get thrown over and run over by a few cars driving through the parking lot. His mom ended up coming and gathering his things.
It did feel good actually after everything he's damaged of mine.
Well I hope you are feeling a little better, I am..but I know it will get ruined when I see him tonight at the mall.
Enabler I've been going through severe depression myself because of him. When does this ever end? He too has damaged things...your poor piano!!
Mines thrown my favorite lamp and broke it, I tried to glue it back together but it won't hold, he's broken my glasses, and on it goes. One night when he really made me mad and pulled a disappearing act and I got drunk I finally had it. ALL his belongings that were at my place ended up either cut up or thrown over the balcony into parking lot. His favorite lava lamp was smashed into the concrete, and what a sight it must've been to see a tall wooden Giraffe that he loved so much get thrown over and run over by a few cars driving through the parking lot. His mom ended up coming and gathering his things.
It did feel good actually after everything he's damaged of mine.
Well I hope you are feeling a little better, I am..but I know it will get ruined when I see him tonight at the mall.
I went over to the house today because we had to go order the countertops. But first we had to go to the new store that just opened. Then we had to rush through so we could go order the countertops. Then we just had to go by the house to get the estimates for the countertops. Oh, since we were there he had to do a bong. Now it is time to pick up our son. Then go get something to eat. This was the scenerio. I didn't want to go bowling.
When we pulled into the driveway his phone rang. "Did you score? Save me one, no, save me two." Now, I am not quite sure what one or two means. I know what a dime, quarter, half, and pound mean. And surely he doesn't want one or two pounds. I don't know......Maybe he is talking about just one or two bags. I don't know. But he was very open with his phone call like he was flaunting it in front of me. Even made a comment that he had to go there after bowling. I just don't know.....
When we pulled into the driveway his phone rang. "Did you score? Save me one, no, save me two." Now, I am not quite sure what one or two means. I know what a dime, quarter, half, and pound mean. And surely he doesn't want one or two pounds. I don't know......Maybe he is talking about just one or two bags. I don't know. But he was very open with his phone call like he was flaunting it in front of me. Even made a comment that he had to go there after bowling. I just don't know.....
Maybe he meant one or two grams? Usually when my bf talks about one or two he means grams of weed. I can't believe he's flaunting it in front of you like that!
I did meet him at the mall, I was so angry that I wasn't being very civil with him. At least he finally told me where he works but we'll see if he's lying or not. Of course he's saying now that he doesn't get paid for a month, they get paid at the end of the month, great! I told him I don't even have a Visa anymore, I cut it up. This way it solves a lot of problems. Its none of his business anyways. Now he can't call me up and ask me to put something on my Visa and he'll pay me back, promise on pay day!
I asked him this morning to bring his transaction and guess what? He conviently forgot it!
He's such a liar..did you two end up going bowling?
I did meet him at the mall, I was so angry that I wasn't being very civil with him. At least he finally told me where he works but we'll see if he's lying or not. Of course he's saying now that he doesn't get paid for a month, they get paid at the end of the month, great! I told him I don't even have a Visa anymore, I cut it up. This way it solves a lot of problems. Its none of his business anyways. Now he can't call me up and ask me to put something on my Visa and he'll pay me back, promise on pay day!
I asked him this morning to bring his transaction and guess what? He conviently forgot it!
He's such a liar..did you two end up going bowling?
I didn't go bowling. My joints are aching. He and my son are in a league. I would have just been watching.
How convenient for your bf. Payday at the end of the month since this is the beginning. That will buy a lot of time. by the way, how will HE survive until then?
to be honest with you and I am definitely no one to talk, if he were my boyfriend I would cut the ties. I don't know what your relationship is though. If I did not have children with my husband, I wouldn't bother with him.. But I know I will be involved with him for the rest of my life. I sure hope he changes. He should have his fix right now. Oh, he also got his RX filled for Cialis. Even though he cannot use it with me right now. (Mother Nature).
I know what you mean about the sex thing though. If he takes me out to dinner, he expects it afterward. If we fight, we have to have make-up sex. And of course, afterwards, he will inform me that 'other women would pay for that" Is it any wonder I suspect he is being with other women? I have heard of the so-called 'rock-stars' out there.
I hope I don't become frigid. Ha!Ha!
How convenient for your bf. Payday at the end of the month since this is the beginning. That will buy a lot of time. by the way, how will HE survive until then?
to be honest with you and I am definitely no one to talk, if he were my boyfriend I would cut the ties. I don't know what your relationship is though. If I did not have children with my husband, I wouldn't bother with him.. But I know I will be involved with him for the rest of my life. I sure hope he changes. He should have his fix right now. Oh, he also got his RX filled for Cialis. Even though he cannot use it with me right now. (Mother Nature).
I know what you mean about the sex thing though. If he takes me out to dinner, he expects it afterward. If we fight, we have to have make-up sex. And of course, afterwards, he will inform me that 'other women would pay for that" Is it any wonder I suspect he is being with other women? I have heard of the so-called 'rock-stars' out there.
I hope I don't become frigid. Ha!Ha!
Enabler, oh my, I can't believe the whole sex thing...what is wrong with them? He complained to me today that he doesn't get it enough, I mean 6 days a week isn't enough?? Even if I just lay there not enjoying it and staring at the wall not moving its fine with him. I finally just said if I'm not in the mood then I'm sorry we are not going to have sex. So his comments are, why can't I have a booty call then? I said well then I guess I'll have one too. He asked why I would need one if I don't want sex so much, I told him that I like variety!! That shut him up really good.
Yup theres always an occasion for sex with them isn't there?
I know what you are saying, I read the other message boards where these people in such turmoil and reading them I'm thinking LEAVE HIM!!!! But then I think of my situation and realize how hard it really is.
Well I'm going to bed and shutting the phone off so he can't call..a little hungover today from last night..haha
I hope you have a good night!
Yup theres always an occasion for sex with them isn't there?
I know what you are saying, I read the other message boards where these people in such turmoil and reading them I'm thinking LEAVE HIM!!!! But then I think of my situation and realize how hard it really is.
Well I'm going to bed and shutting the phone off so he can't call..a little hungover today from last night..haha
I hope you have a good night!
You really made me chuckle with that variety quip! Good Job!!!
Yea, I see a lot of double standard. He wants to watch adult movies and have magazines and then have sex. I can't help thinking who he is thinking about.
Years ago, i had to stop drinking to get drunk because he would seriously take advantage and I wouldn't remember a thing in the morning. One time I wasn't that drunk,,,I felt like I had been raped by my own husband.
I have a lot of baggage when it comes to the sex issue steming from childhood. I am still working on all that.
But hey, you really made me laugh! I have a friend whose daily goal is to make 10 people laugh and she is so good at it. Thanks so much. Have a good evening. Gotta go to work early in the morning.
Yea, I see a lot of double standard. He wants to watch adult movies and have magazines and then have sex. I can't help thinking who he is thinking about.
Years ago, i had to stop drinking to get drunk because he would seriously take advantage and I wouldn't remember a thing in the morning. One time I wasn't that drunk,,,I felt like I had been raped by my own husband.
I have a lot of baggage when it comes to the sex issue steming from childhood. I am still working on all that.
But hey, you really made me laugh! I have a friend whose daily goal is to make 10 people laugh and she is so good at it. Thanks so much. Have a good evening. Gotta go to work early in the morning.
Oh my goodness. You guys stories sound alot like my life. I have been with my husband for going on 12 years and oh my. he is such a crack head. He loves our daughter so much and I beleive he loves me to, but..... he can not get the crack out of his head or off his mind. I know that it is a hard addiction but come on. Is he really that week? He went to detox. That was a first, he has done meetings and drug classes but only court ordered ones. Nothing really on his own... but, the days home he used? I think he only went to detox to get back in the house and he is not going to do any better. Well it has been a week since the first use. Well almost (friday) Hopefully he will do right and good. He is such a wonderful person and can be a awsome father and husband. I have seen it. He wants his own buisness and he loves stuff. He wants a Harley, he wants ...........everything. But he cant stay off t he s*** and hold a job? In the past 6 months he has lost 3 really good jobs. Making more money then he ever has company vehicles and cells. All gone. I dont know. I love him so F much it sux. I always said I would not be the one going thru this. Here I am!!!!
Thx for listening. Good Luck to all.
Thx for listening. Good Luck to all.
thanks for sharing, lovethefool. no need to use foul language here. it really doesn't add anything to you message or the discussion.
i assume you have come to share and to solicit advice from others who have shared your experiences.
may i suggest that you spend some time visiting this website, which includes a very frank discussion of addiction (especially crack addictio), then please return and join us.
there are some things that you should consider doing for yourself.
i assume you have come to share and to solicit advice from others who have shared your experiences.
may i suggest that you spend some time visiting this website, which includes a very frank discussion of addiction (especially crack addictio), then please return and join us.
there are some things that you should consider doing for yourself.