thanks Rachel...
and thanks for a program that works if you work it!
Hi PJ:
Congrats on your 27 days!
Yeah PJ! You know what they say about the 30-day keytag... hardest one to get!
Have you been making meetings since you've been out?
Have you been making meetings since you've been out?
yeah...wooooohoooo! 27 days! you are doing great!
One of the kindest things you can say to an addict new to recovery is abstain from alcohol and all self-medication with drugs -- xtasy, pills, coke, MJ, whatever. It will likely save you a lot of heartache and pain down the line. It's based on a lot of of experience over a lot of years. But you're right, no one has to heed the advice, and personal experience is usually the best teacher anyway. If you're like me, you'll test everything . . . . and if you do, I truly hope your personal experience is different than mine and the many other alcoholics and addicts I've listened to over the years. God bless.
thank you None4me....that was a great post!
Wow... just got up from a nap and i just now saw this. I am sorry if i sounded like i was protecting Lisa/cowgirl... all i was trying to do is carry the message. Like i said bf, it is the individual's decision whether or not they want to abstain from alcohol. I was only sharing my experience and the reason i don't use alcohol. As far as clean time for me.... that has nothing to do with it.... my addiction is always one step behind me. I take it one day at a time and i have no idea what is going to happen in the future.
Cowgirl and I were emailing each other this morning when this started. I think she chose not to get into the drama - can't blame her -
Some just don't listen.
Addicts and non-active addicts.
I just hate to lose one.
I'm sorry, that's just the way I am. I want to keep them 'til they are ready to be as clean as can be.
I mean no harm to anyone. We are not professionals and have our own way of doing what we are trying to do and that's my way.
It has worked for some, they have emailed me.
It seems most of you like the hard-nosed way - not like but it must have worked for you better.
Otherwise, you wouldn't be doing it, I'm sure you all want to help on the board, too or we wouldn't be spending time here.
I just hope if this board doesn't work for them, they find a way out and can say they feel as good as I do after just over 4 months.
It's a whole new world and I want it for e'one.
Jean
Some just don't listen.
Addicts and non-active addicts.
I just hate to lose one.
I'm sorry, that's just the way I am. I want to keep them 'til they are ready to be as clean as can be.
I mean no harm to anyone. We are not professionals and have our own way of doing what we are trying to do and that's my way.
It has worked for some, they have emailed me.
It seems most of you like the hard-nosed way - not like but it must have worked for you better.
Otherwise, you wouldn't be doing it, I'm sure you all want to help on the board, too or we wouldn't be spending time here.
I just hope if this board doesn't work for them, they find a way out and can say they feel as good as I do after just over 4 months.
It's a whole new world and I want it for e'one.
Jean
No, Jean, like I said, she is having her carpets cleaned and can't get online.
I'm sure once they are dry she will be here to address this subject.
and I repeat...i was not ready to listen to the messages until I got some cleantime and my mind was ready to accept it. A mind filled with drugs is NOT open to any message.
I'm sure once they are dry she will be here to address this subject.
and I repeat...i was not ready to listen to the messages until I got some cleantime and my mind was ready to accept it. A mind filled with drugs is NOT open to any message.
I personally think the hard a$$ approach works better face to face in meetings or whichever. On the board people can easily misinterpret it and it feels like an attack.
Hi; Thanks for the congratulations........so far so good I'm pretty sure I'll make 30. (Don't want to be too cocky, although "I AM the man from Nantucket")
Yes I go to meetings every day....sometimes like today I go twice...funny I thought I was going to hate meetings...in contrast, I think I'm getting addicted to them!
Yes I go to meetings every day....sometimes like today I go twice...funny I thought I was going to hate meetings...in contrast, I think I'm getting addicted to them!
I think it all has do with what your motives are.Sometimes Ive been harsh to people because I wasnt in a good place.Although I may had been technically right in what I said,it was done out of my pissy moodiness.That is wrong and I need to apologize.However,there isnt always a nice way to confront somebody on their bulls***.It really wouldnt matter what words you used.The person being called out is going to get their feelings hurt.
I still think Cowgirl calling Medusa out on her BS the other day was right on.Its not like she was new and her stories kept getting more and more bizzare.I think it took a lot of courage.I also dont think it that situation she meant any real harm toward her.
Maybe F2F confrontation is better but thats not what this forum is.If your going to share your stuff,you are going to get feeback and its not always what you want to hear.
I still think Cowgirl calling Medusa out on her BS the other day was right on.Its not like she was new and her stories kept getting more and more bizzare.I think it took a lot of courage.I also dont think it that situation she meant any real harm toward her.
Maybe F2F confrontation is better but thats not what this forum is.If your going to share your stuff,you are going to get feeback and its not always what you want to hear.
obviously---oh well
I just know it can be read wrong. the words read might not be coming out the way they are supposed to be sounding?? make any sense? anyway, yes, i do see how some people go on and on, but others are reallly trying
I just know it can be read wrong. the words read might not be coming out the way they are supposed to be sounding?? make any sense? anyway, yes, i do see how some people go on and on, but others are reallly trying
I agree with what you said Tim...
firesign,
hehe sorry but i had to throw in some humor your post reminded me of jackie chan saying "do you understand the words commin out my mouth" hehehe
terrianne
hehe sorry but i had to throw in some humor your post reminded me of jackie chan saying "do you understand the words commin out my mouth" hehehe
terrianne
terrianne... i love those jackie chan movies... that was so funny! :)
bri,
lol i couldnt help myself, i know my bad, i love him too hehe
terrianne
lol i couldnt help myself, i know my bad, i love him too hehe
terrianne
For one thing, I think this is healthy dialogue. Jean, you always say that you are all for differing opinions, so that's what people get when they come on this board. They'll get the tough love and they'll get the nurturing pat-on-the-back folks. It all serves a purpose. We only know what worked for us. It does seem that the people with significant clean time or the people who work a healthy and intense program come from the tough love camp, coincidence, I think not, but again that's my opinion. I will never stray from saying it like it is. Addiction isn't about pussywillows and cattails so why keep patting people on the back when you know damn well that there's no hope for them. You are not doing them any favours, you're almost justifying the behavior. If you don't call people on the obvious bulls***, you're hindering their recovery. It also seems that you're very concerned about folks leaving the board. You know darn well that when they're ready they'll come back. When you're called on something then you announce you're leaving, well, I think you can figure it out. I'd rather someone leave the board secondguessing their recovery plan than staying on here and just being told how beautiful they are. You make it sound like this board is the end all of recovery, well it's a footnote. If you're using this board as your sole recovery tool, you're in for a hell of a ride. I'll never change my style just to make people comfortable. Addiction isn't comfortable and recovery should not be comfortable, just a fact. You do it your way and I'll do it my way. As far as your comment goes about us not being professionals or qualified, I'll take the 20 year addict's wisdom anyday over the schooled professional. You only get true knowledge from experience. Good day.
well i will just say this, as far as tough love, there is a right way and a wrong way of "tough love" you can be honest and straight forward and truthful all you want with me and i will be forever grateful and in debted to you. but when people come at me with harsh cuss words and sarcastic condescending vocabulary well then thats completely a turn off and i do feel combative. i have to bite my tongue and sit and my hands and hopefully think of something cute and witty to say or walk away with my head held high. i think sometimes when i read and the post isnt even directed at me it feels as if a gang bust is going on or something. maybe its just me.
terrianne
terrianne
Terianne,
No, it's not just you. There appears to be a certain arrogance that comes with some recovering addicts. I picture in my mind as I read this board you all are sitting together in a room, and it scares the crap outta me. Would you all really talk to someone like that, f2f? Wow.
But I'm still going to my first meeting tonight with a room full of addicts. So I guess I'm not that scared after all.
No, it's not just you. There appears to be a certain arrogance that comes with some recovering addicts. I picture in my mind as I read this board you all are sitting together in a room, and it scares the crap outta me. Would you all really talk to someone like that, f2f? Wow.
But I'm still going to my first meeting tonight with a room full of addicts. So I guess I'm not that scared after all.
