Jodi,
I'll be back by lunchtime. Dr. M emailed me the name of a psychiatrist in your area. Actually, could you go read my post to you on Tim's Change thread? I'm just repeating myself.
ke_gina@hotmail.com
Email me.
Love,
Gina
Love you, Sharonn, my wench!
Hi Jodi...how are you today? Awhile back I wrote about a breakup I went through at the height of my drug abuse (1996) I was in poor health, had no $$, and no one to help me out of the black hole of despair..I was living in Yonkers in a s**t hole of a neighborhood and my then teenage daughter had run away from home and dropped out of high school.. I had NO self-esteem...I was in a very mentally abusive and controlling relationship.I was convinced that I was too weak...too sick...to be out on my own. I did not know where to start. I tried saving tiny amounts of $$...but it never worked. I wrote a heartfelt letter to my mom with whom I had not spoken to in a very long time. we had no relationship to speak of....it was an extremely painful thing for me to break down and ask for help. I wrote to her and asked if we could possibly mend our fences so to speak...I would send her $100.00 dollars a month to save for me. In the meantime I applied for SSI and they repeatedly turned me down Instead of appealing,I just gave up. My attitude was pretty much "what's the use". I relate to your posts because I felt so very hopeless back then. I did not believe in my own power.My mom shocked me by handing me a check for 5000. dollars and I didn't even have a n account to put it in. I went to visit her on Mother's Day '96 and the small town she had chosen to retire in...I loved it and fantasized about being able to live there. When I went back home(HELL) I took the train up there one day to look at apts...I remember feeling terrified. Even if I found one,how would I pay the rent? % grand won't last that long....would SSI approve me? I prayed all the time. I found a small apt. next to th train(noisy) and gave them 2 months.....my plan was to leave my relationship and move by June.....I would put myself in God's hands and somehow I would be able to pay the rent. That as the year my life changed. Not only did I become friends with my mom, but I learned to be alone. It was terrifying and exhilating at the same time. Yeah...I had times when I was broke and barely made the rent but when I closed the door to that tiny place..I had peace. It was mine, as humble as it was. I was happy for the first time. Oddly enough, I was so stressed and never used during that time...I grew so much..That was my 40th birthday. Now 10 years later I still am stuck into the hell of addiction and I often think about those days and how I made it through. Anything is possible if you can believe it. I was shaking so bad when I signed the lease I could barely write....I laugh today at how co-dependent I was...but I know I learned the most valuable lesson of all...to be able to love and depend on Sharon....Jodi...if you could just believe in yourself and build up a little confidence you can change your life. This man is bringing you down....get out and you will see how very strong you really are. I know you can do it Jodi. You just have to believe...I know you want it...believe you can do it....of course you can..I didn't think I could function on less than 90 mgs. a day....I am fine on 55 and when the pain hits I take 2 advil. My BF does not abuse me and when he pushes my buttons believe me I let him know. I grew balls in the last 10 years> Don't always wear them(they're on a hook in the hallway) Hang in there ...today is a new day and YOU are in the driver's seat. S
Jodi,
Thank you. Your email was the cherry topping on what has turned out to be a pretty mind-blowing day.
And YGM.
Love,
Gina
Hey there Wench!
Thank you. Your email was the cherry topping on what has turned out to be a pretty mind-blowing day.
And YGM.
Love,
Gina
Hey there Wench!
On a hook in the hallway, that's great, Sharonn, lol. My hat's off to you.
xxxoooo
Jodi, I'm not sure exactly why I focus more on your marriage than your addiction when I think of your problems. I suppose that's a reflection of where I'm at right now.
Something did just occur to me about you that I usually would have recognized right away. You're in my least favorite phase of addiction that I called the "want to want to" phase. Arrrrg, I hated it.
You only have to do one thing and that is to be willing. Sounds simple, doesn't it? That's because it is. We make it complicated. I was in that stage a long time. Far longer than I had to be. That place is filled with hopelessness and despair. It takes a leap of faith and then you're on the other side.
The other side is better, Jodi.
xxxxxxoooo
xxxoooo
Jodi, I'm not sure exactly why I focus more on your marriage than your addiction when I think of your problems. I suppose that's a reflection of where I'm at right now.
Something did just occur to me about you that I usually would have recognized right away. You're in my least favorite phase of addiction that I called the "want to want to" phase. Arrrrg, I hated it.
You only have to do one thing and that is to be willing. Sounds simple, doesn't it? That's because it is. We make it complicated. I was in that stage a long time. Far longer than I had to be. That place is filled with hopelessness and despair. It takes a leap of faith and then you're on the other side.
The other side is better, Jodi.
xxxxxxoooo
Kat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to get the boys but I took the leap and everything is going to be just fine.Better than I dreamed possible. Orders of magnitude better.
I can't believe I bought into his assumptions so long.
Chat when I get back?
Loving you more always,
Gina
I have to get the boys but I took the leap and everything is going to be just fine.Better than I dreamed possible. Orders of magnitude better.
I can't believe I bought into his assumptions so long.
Chat when I get back?
Loving you more always,
Gina
Sometimes life is good, isn't it? >smiling<
If Cody doesn't have an unimaginable amount of homework, I'll be online tonight.
I promised to cook something edible, help Cody catch up from last week and play a board game. I'm pushing for chess. It's kind of sneaky of me since I know they can't win. Anything is better than Monopoly. I cringe now even seeing the box.
Hopefully I'll get to see you.
And no, you don't.
xxxxxooooooooo
If Cody doesn't have an unimaginable amount of homework, I'll be online tonight.
I promised to cook something edible, help Cody catch up from last week and play a board game. I'm pushing for chess. It's kind of sneaky of me since I know they can't win. Anything is better than Monopoly. I cringe now even seeing the box.
Hopefully I'll get to see you.
And no, you don't.
xxxxxooooooooo
Sharonn,
You wrote, "...when I closed the door to that tiny place... I had peace. It was mine, as humble as it was. I was happy for the first time. "
Help me keep my eyes on the prize, my friend. I hung on to a lot of useless things, beliefs, past hurts, instead of just trying to make a place I could call my own and find peace.
Love,
Gina
bee-tee-double-you, YGM
Hey Kat,
Sorry about the homework. Is Cody all better?
I know you want to make Allan pay because he hurt me. I know what I would (will) do to the folks who have made you cry. But he's the father of my children -- we have lab results proving it, lol -- and how could my boys respect me if I took him for all he had (if that were even possible)? I only ever wanted what was fair. Though a lovely vengeful little part of me was satisfied when he looked gobsmacked at what I was legally entitled to after 20 years of marriage. LOLOLOL Is this bad for my karma?
Nope, I'm still loving you more,
Gina
You wrote, "...when I closed the door to that tiny place... I had peace. It was mine, as humble as it was. I was happy for the first time. "
Help me keep my eyes on the prize, my friend. I hung on to a lot of useless things, beliefs, past hurts, instead of just trying to make a place I could call my own and find peace.
Love,
Gina
bee-tee-double-you, YGM
Hey Kat,
Sorry about the homework. Is Cody all better?
I know you want to make Allan pay because he hurt me. I know what I would (will) do to the folks who have made you cry. But he's the father of my children -- we have lab results proving it, lol -- and how could my boys respect me if I took him for all he had (if that were even possible)? I only ever wanted what was fair. Though a lovely vengeful little part of me was satisfied when he looked gobsmacked at what I was legally entitled to after 20 years of marriage. LOLOLOL Is this bad for my karma?
Nope, I'm still loving you more,
Gina
This I found on the Meth board! I would call them Jodi...maybe they can direct you to a program closer to you...or give you some information about a clinic they run for booze and pills! Worth a shot!
Free Rehab!
Christian Mission Center is in Enterprise, Alabama..... It is a 4 month long program and it is free... They will send you a bus ticket to and from your home........ There is a waiting list ... 1-334-393-5641, and ask to speak to Gene Warren or John.......... They will give you all of the information that you need... People from all across the United States come here for this program and It is one of the best in the nation...
They focus on recovery and faith comes second... They have group meetings daily, they meet one on one with their counselor daily, they have workbooks and study guides dealing with addiction and recovery.... The faith part of it is only a small part....... They do want them to believe in a HP and see that side of recovery as well.. They are tested on personality disorders and they also test on other things as well... Family is welcome to participate in one on one counseling sessions and group sessions too.. This particular place has a very high success rate... They are located just miles from the meth capitol of the south... They also do UA's every monday and upon entering the program so you or your loved one must be clean in order to get in and must stay clean while there also... When they are not in meetings or counseling they must work at the mission store and they receive 5 dollars per week for that... This program is totally free, meals, room and board, counseling, group sessions, you name it....Sometimes there is a waiting list but get put on it because some people don't show up on their scheduled day and they lose out of their space.... It is given to the first person on the waiting list. They will take any drug addict and there is no age limit!
Well, what are ya waitin' for? CALL ALREADY!! ;)
Free Rehab!
Christian Mission Center is in Enterprise, Alabama..... It is a 4 month long program and it is free... They will send you a bus ticket to and from your home........ There is a waiting list ... 1-334-393-5641, and ask to speak to Gene Warren or John.......... They will give you all of the information that you need... People from all across the United States come here for this program and It is one of the best in the nation...
They focus on recovery and faith comes second... They have group meetings daily, they meet one on one with their counselor daily, they have workbooks and study guides dealing with addiction and recovery.... The faith part of it is only a small part....... They do want them to believe in a HP and see that side of recovery as well.. They are tested on personality disorders and they also test on other things as well... Family is welcome to participate in one on one counseling sessions and group sessions too.. This particular place has a very high success rate... They are located just miles from the meth capitol of the south... They also do UA's every monday and upon entering the program so you or your loved one must be clean in order to get in and must stay clean while there also... When they are not in meetings or counseling they must work at the mission store and they receive 5 dollars per week for that... This program is totally free, meals, room and board, counseling, group sessions, you name it....Sometimes there is a waiting list but get put on it because some people don't show up on their scheduled day and they lose out of their space.... It is given to the first person on the waiting list. They will take any drug addict and there is no age limit!
Well, what are ya waitin' for? CALL ALREADY!! ;)
Jodi,
Have you tried calling that therapist yet? I know it seems like a huge thing, but pick up the phone and just get some info. It doesn't commit you to doing anything more that you're not ready for.
I'll be around all day digging up tax returns, deeds, and bank statements going back to the year dot. I would welcome the break, if you care to email.
Love,
Gina
Have you tried calling that therapist yet? I know it seems like a huge thing, but pick up the phone and just get some info. It doesn't commit you to doing anything more that you're not ready for.
I'll be around all day digging up tax returns, deeds, and bank statements going back to the year dot. I would welcome the break, if you care to email.
Love,
Gina
http://alcoholism.about.com/gi/dyna...520Schedule.htm
Here's a link to the schedule of all the AA meetings in your area today.
.
Here's a link to the schedule of all the AA meetings in your area today.
.
Hi Jodi...just wanted to check in with you. How are things going sweetie? Please check in...from reading all the back posts I see how intelignt you are..you have good insight..I wish your confidence was as good as your other wonderful qualities...You are worth it. I hope to God you are able to take advantage of some of thre resources layed out for you....thinking of you,,Love, Sharonn
Jodi,
If you like, I will call the psychiatrist Dr. M referred you to. I can ask if she takes patients on a sliding fee scale, or if she can recommend someone who will.
Love,
Gina
If you like, I will call the psychiatrist Dr. M referred you to. I can ask if she takes patients on a sliding fee scale, or if she can recommend someone who will.
Love,
Gina
Jodi, at this point, I would suggest inpatient.
I know you say you have to work, but you could lose everything anyway if you don't do this.
I was scared to death and I was a single mom with three kids depending on me. I made it work, and went to rehab.
Sometimes we have to just jump.
If you want me to call places for you, I will.
I know you say you have to work, but you could lose everything anyway if you don't do this.
I was scared to death and I was a single mom with three kids depending on me. I made it work, and went to rehab.
Sometimes we have to just jump.
If you want me to call places for you, I will.
Jodi...just wanted you to know that I'm home and available by phone. You're on my mind darlin and you're not alone. Don't ever forget that.
Lisa
Lisa
Jodi,
I'm going to call that Toledo psychiatrist today -- as much out of curiousity as anything else. I want to see what options are available to those without health insurance. I also feel I owe it to Dr. M, since he's spoken to Dr. H on our behalf. I don't want her to think that no one is following up. It's a thing I can do for a fellow addict that costs me nothing; long distance calls are free on my mobile service.
I know what it's like to be immobilized by the weight of one's own life choices. I'd like you to see what a relief it is to do the next right thing.
I'll let you know when I have more info. It may be a day or so before she returns my call.
Love,
Gina
I'm going to call that Toledo psychiatrist today -- as much out of curiousity as anything else. I want to see what options are available to those without health insurance. I also feel I owe it to Dr. M, since he's spoken to Dr. H on our behalf. I don't want her to think that no one is following up. It's a thing I can do for a fellow addict that costs me nothing; long distance calls are free on my mobile service.
I know what it's like to be immobilized by the weight of one's own life choices. I'd like you to see what a relief it is to do the next right thing.
I'll let you know when I have more info. It may be a day or so before she returns my call.
Love,
Gina
Jodi,
Dr. H just called. If you'll email me, I'll tell you what options she offered.
Please check in.
Love,
Gina
Dr. H just called. If you'll email me, I'll tell you what options she offered.
Please check in.
Love,
Gina
Jodi...check in ok? Haven't heard from you or see you post.
I'm home all weekend...call, ok? Even if it's just for a sec.
Just need to know if you're ok and if there's anything I can do. Gina's given you some awesome options here. Hold out your hand.
I'm home all weekend...call, ok? Even if it's just for a sec.
Just need to know if you're ok and if there's anything I can do. Gina's given you some awesome options here. Hold out your hand.
Jodi,
No one's heard from you in days. You have Kat's number, Lisa's number, my email -- and I'm sure many others.
Check in please?
Love,
Gina
No one's heard from you in days. You have Kat's number, Lisa's number, my email -- and I'm sure many others.
Check in please?
Love,
Gina
Jodi...people are reaching out to you, Please....
I'm sorry I haven't been around for a little while. I was pretty sick with bronchitis for a few days last week and about all I could manage was to drag myself to work each day. Other than that, I have no excuse. Apathy, depression, isolation. You all know how that goes.
